The try harder if ye want to keep a second joke thread thread

everlast75 · 22-12-2021 08:37PM

Just discovered why the Bee Gees are afraid of horses!!

Apparently the gee gee's give the Bee Gee's the heebeegeebees!!!

Capt'n Midnight · 22-12-2021 11:19PM

Ever have one of those mornings where you can't even be bothered to get dressed?

Anyway, I was arrested at the bus stop.

Capt'n Midnight · 22-12-2021 11:20PM

I bought a suit of armour as I thought it would make me feel young and strong.

But when I put it on I felt middle aged.

Capt'n Midnight · 30-12-2021 06:33PM

Recreate the innocent childhood fun of playing Buckeroo by taking turns placing small household objects on top of your sleeping cat.

everlast75 · 31-12-2021 08:29PM

New Year's Eve is tonight and I'm very nervous.

I've been diagnosed with auld langxiety.

New Home · 31-12-2021 11:03PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118397548#Comment_118397548

2020 you and 2018 TheBody want their joke back! (Still brilliant, though). 😁

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/115754927#Comment_115754927

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/108996345#Comment_108996345

everlast75 · 01-01-2022 12:14AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118398153#Comment_118398153

Every year seems like a repeat tbh these days 😁

Happy new year regardless...

FrancieBrady · 01-01-2022 12:44AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118398463#Comment_118398463

I never heard it....Happy New Year!

Capt'n Midnight · 01-01-2022 01:49AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118398463#Comment_118398463

2022 is pronounced 2020 too.

Capt'n Midnight · 09-01-2022 08:00PM

Novak Djokovic is the first player to be knocked out of a grand slam after missing only 2 shots.

dinneenp · 10-01-2022 01:59AM

I made this one up today...

I really enjoy the Sunday newspaper. Mind you, I don't love it, I wouldn't buy it every day.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 10-01-2022 05:04AM

My parents sent me to a child psychologist when I was younger, but it was a waste of time. Children are not good at psychology...

IrishLad90 · 10-01-2022 05:51AM

If you look at this thread Upside down you would really see it from another angle ...

(Late night Comedic genius here 🙈)

everlast75 · 10-01-2022 09:58AM

Sesame Street have announced that the Cookie Monster is unwell with COVID.

Apparently he contracted the om nom nom nom nom nom icron variant

Capt'n Midnight · 18-01-2022 12:57PM

I bought a lettuce from a greengrocers owned by The Mamas & the Papas but it’s already gone off.

All the leaves are brown…

Capt'n Midnight · 18-01-2022 01:04PM

In a strange turn of events from Downing Street, it turns out that Boris Johnson can actually organise a piss up.

everlast75 · 18-01-2022 01:17PM

I just met the head of the Indian Maffia.

Poppa Don

everlast75 · 18-01-2022 01:19PM

I support feminism, and white male rappers.

I'm a Femineminemeninist.

Capt'n Midnight · 18-01-2022 07:45PM

For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.

Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Strumms · 18-01-2022 11:31PM

Elton John brought his pet rabbit to the gym, he introduced it to the staff by saying… “it’s a little fit bunny”

what do you call a fat psychic ? a four chin teller

Heighway61 · 25-01-2022 08:06PM

I was having breakfast in my favourite French restaurant. I said to the waiter why only one egg, I ordered two? He said, in France one egg is un eouf.

Heighway61 · 25-01-2022 08:10PM

Why do French people look so depressed?

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is England.

Capt'n Midnight · 31-01-2022 12:52PM

The Conservative party have now changed their name to the Conservative work event.

magicbastarder · 31-01-2022 01:03PM

i think i might have seen it on boards at one point;

i've started using the word 'mucho' in conversation with my spanish friends. it means a lot to them.

02-02-2022 09:47AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118559003#Comment_118559003

'mucho' times before 😜

everlast75 · 02-02-2022 10:08AM

A man was arrested yesterday after falling into a combine harvester while trying to steal it.

He's expected to be bailed tomorrow.

02-02-2022 12:08PM

We're clutching at straws now 😉

everlast75 · 02-02-2022 01:07PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118569747#Comment_118569747

Too corny?

magicbastarder · 02-02-2022 01:19PM

you'd barley call that a joke to be fair.

BENDYBINN · 02-02-2022 01:37PM

The combine was a serial killer.......

The try harder if ye want to keep a second joke thread thread

Comments