I found a Safe.

20-02-2013 3:57pm

Son0vagun wrote: »

Has anyone heard from Juice1304 yet? Get him to send me his number. I did a back ground check on him he seems legit. Does anyone know him? He should be home from school by now!

He last logged on at 5am this morning. I feel like his stalker :eek:

SavageHenry · 20-02-2013 4:01pm

This would be great material for a trashy horror film. OP comes across the safe and de-liberates on course of action regarding the safe within an online forum. Enter quirky and comical character of Juice1304 who helps OP open the safe. Finally the safe is opened and the horror ensues, inside the safe are two DVD's, some manic scribblings, and a human jawbone. The first DVD has hours and hours of footage, all of the OP sleeping in his bed, and the second footage is of the previous owner trying to open the safe and then his eventual torture and murder at the hands of the properties original owner from the seventies, who has been luring and murdering new owners using the safe as a honey pot for the last forty years. It all ends with a chase across the Meath country side with the brutal murder of Juice 1304 and a battle to the death with the serial killer and the OP... OP wins of course. Also OP would probably need to be a female possibly played by a Sandra bullock type to engage the audience and allow a relationship storyline to develop between the OP and the quirky comical locksmith juice1304.

We can call it SAFE HOUSE.

End Script.

irishgirl19 · 20-02-2013 4:03pm

I need to know what's in it!!!

Too much suspense. . .

elfy4eva · 20-02-2013 4:05pm

sebastianlieken wrote: »

Realistically; I wouldn't be surprised if there were cash in there.

Who buys a £250 safe and doesn't use it? You only buy a safe like that if you plan on using it properly.

It seems to be quite common place in Ireland that people of an.... older prediciment... to keep a sum of their money "under their matress" so to speak. Can't trust those dodgy banks!

I reckon there is at least €300 in there.

Looks like it aint been used in a fair while, I would more say if anything it'd be Pounds.

D1stant · 20-02-2013 4:06pm

elfy4eva wrote: »

Looks like it aint been used in a fair while, I would more say if anything it'd be Pounds.

I'd say its Brian Boru and a stack of gold coins

Fromthetrees · 20-02-2013 4:09pm

I've had to put on the extra dry nappies for this thread, the excitement is just too much to handle.

20-02-2013 4:14pm

Son0vagun wrote: »

I've been looking everywhere for a large pot for my brews, something over 10L! Largest I've seen is in ikea, a 10l for €69. Anyone know where I can get a large pot for reasonable price?

Son0vagun wrote: »

Apon clearing out my shed in my newly purchased house/property I found a safe. It's a floor safe and incased in concrete. It's opened by a key, which I do not have. Written on the safe door is the details of the locksmith who installed it. The previous owner is deceased, so I don't know who else knows about it.

So I want to open it. But I can't decide what to do.

Easy option is to ring the locksmith and have him open it. But what about the contents of the safe? I doubt there's anything valuable in it, but there could be. The locksmith might notify the previous owners family. Or am I now the legal owner of whatever the safe contains?

I could hire a criminal to open it, but he'd want his share and probably murder me if it contained anything substantial.

Or inorder to have complete secrecy I could dig the it out, it would be a hard job. Chisel and hammer, it would take ages. And then use a angle grinder to open It, but the sparks might burn whatever is contained.

So what would you do? Any advice?

Hmmmmmm... Lay off the home brew there fella!

jinkybhoy · 20-02-2013 4:15pm

SavageHenry wrote: »

This would be great material for a trashy horror film. OP comes across the safe and de-liberates on course of action regarding the safe within an online forum. Enter quirky and comical character of Juice1304 who helps OP open the safe. Finally the safe is opened and the horror ensues, inside the safe are two DVD's, some manic scribblings, and a human jawbone. The first DVD has hours and hours of footage, all of the OP sleeping in his bed, and the second footage is of the previous owner trying to open the safe and then his eventual torture and murder at the hands of the properties original owner from the seventies, who has been luring and murdering new owners using the safe as a honey pot for the last forty years. It all ends with a chase across the Meath country side with the brutal murder of Juice 1304 and a battle to the death with the serial killer and the OP... OP wins of course. Also OP would probably need to be a female possibly played by a Sandra bullock type to engage the audience and allow a relationship storyline to develop between the OP and the quirky comical locksmith juice1304.

We can call it SAFE HOUSE.

End Script.

The name has already been taken but can I maybe suggest the working title "The Safe of Impending Doom"?

Rented Mule · 20-02-2013 4:17pm

Son0vagun wrote: »

Considering the previous owner died after a long battle with cancer I would imagine he emptied it long before he died.

He would have had some nerve !!

Plazaman · 20-02-2013 4:18pm

SavageHenry wrote: »

We can call it SAFE HOUSE.

End Script.

OR

As the local butcher [the previous house owner] he knew all the locals around the town but one by one they begin to disappear. Despite numerous investigations, nothing could be found to incriminate him even when he got sick and the disappearances stopped. Years later bodies of the missing started to turn up except the extremities from the wrists down were missing on them all. What did he do with them? Where did he put them?

A Boards.ie Production

IN SAFE HANDS

Rated 18

cursai · 20-02-2013 4:19pm

.........there is no safe.
http://www.dslreports.com/forum/r27567052-Need-help-with-an-old-safe

Witchie · 20-02-2013 4:20pm

Keep it simple and just call it "The Safe". I think we should use an up and coming Irish actress like Catriona Balfe and Bressie should play the safe cracker with Brendan Gleeson as the psycho.

Orim · 20-02-2013 4:21pm

cursai wrote: »

.........there is no safe.
http://www.dslreports.com/forum/r27567052-Need-help-with-an-old-safe

Or there is a safe and it's full of cake?

2ndcoming · 20-02-2013 4:23pm

Seems pretty likely that the previous owner probably just cleared out all his valuables before he passed on, locked up the safe and had a giggle to himself.

If I was dying of cancer I'd leave as many little pranks like that behind me as possible.

Sadderday · 20-02-2013 4:23pm

will ye open this thing before I lose my mind!!!!!!!!!

cursai · 20-02-2013 4:24pm

Die thread die! Master trolling by the op.

Tucker688 · 20-02-2013 4:25pm

You people must have little to be at

Sadderday · 20-02-2013 4:27pm

i'm on the edge of the seat all day, my a'sscheeks are clenched together

I want to forget but I cant

cursai · 20-02-2013 4:27pm

Tucker688 wrote: »

You people must have little to be at

Welcome. Stay a while.

jinkybhoy · 20-02-2013 4:27pm

Witchie wrote: »

Keep it simple and just call it "The Safe". I think we should use an up and coming Irish actress like Catriona Balfe and Bressie should play the safe cracker with Brendan Gleeson as the psycho.

Agreed but can bressie's character come to some kind of horrible end like chopping his head off accidentally while looking at himself in a hand mirror?

JoeyJJ · 20-02-2013 4:28pm

Maybe this is a PS4 promo thing, the box will be open tonight as the ps4 is announced.

OU812 · 20-02-2013 4:30pm

What if he gets the door open & there's some sort of elaborate guillotine set up to remove the hand of someone when they reach in?

MomijiHime · 20-02-2013 4:32pm

I'm just replying on this so I can get updates to find out what's in it. I bet it's something stupid

the culture of deference · 20-02-2013 4:33pm

MODS could you do us a favour and just re edit the op's 1st post when they finally get the ****ing thing open.

On a serious note............

Can we start a poll to guess whats in the safe and if it turns out that someone guesses correctly then boards have a little prize for them.

I will have 3 guesses

old money
condoms
porn

El Inho · 20-02-2013 4:34pm

or an advertisement for navan lock and key....

if it is they are simply geniuses

Chet T16 · 20-02-2013 4:34pm

MomijiHime wrote: »

I'm just replying on this so I can get updates to find out what's in it. I bet it's something stupid

Shame on you, the rest of the replies are useful and insightful.

20-02-2013 4:36pm

*reads thread*
Ponders why there is no lock-picking forum.

Sadderday · 20-02-2013 4:36pm

I won't be able to sleep tonight... will have to put lavender in my bath

Tucker688 · 20-02-2013 4:36pm

the culture of deference wrote: »

MODS could you do us a favour and just re edit the op's 1st post when they finally get the ****ing thing open.

On a serious note............

Can we start a poll to guess whats in the safe and if it turns out that someone guesses correctly then boards have a little prize for them.

I will have 3 guesses

old money
condoms
porn

Maybe we might find your hilarious sense of humour in the safe, You have seemed to have lost it

Gee_G · 20-02-2013 4:37pm

MomijiHime wrote: »

I'm just replying on this so I can get updates to find out what's in it. I bet it's something stupid

Ya could have just clicked on the "follow" button either

Sadderday · 20-02-2013 4:38pm

I'm so into this it's unreal

lkionm · 20-02-2013 4:39pm

D wrote: »

*reads thread*
Ponders why there is no lock-picking forum.

Maybe it's Boards way of getting subscriptions, to find out what is in the box gets put in a secret forum.

Sadderday · 20-02-2013 4:41pm

I reckon this is someone in boards' idea to drumm up traffic on the site..,..... it could go global ya never know

DeVore · 20-02-2013 4:41pm

Jimmy Hoffa.

Rented Mule · 20-02-2013 4:42pm

2ndcoming wrote: »

If I was dying of cancer I'd leave as many little pranks like that behind me as possible.

I had a friend who always joked that he would do something like that on his death bed. Sit up and look at one of his children and say 'you get the money and keep it for yourself' and then fall back dead in his bed.

He had nine kids, so it would have planted a seed of distrust in a few of them.

He died suddenly of a heart attack, so he never fulfilled his wish. I would have loved for him to have pulled it off being the only other one in on the joke.

the_syco · 20-02-2013 4:42pm

I'm guessing it's full of drugs or money. Young man owns a house and a floor safe in the shed? It sure isn't anything legal!

jinkybhoy · 20-02-2013 4:42pm

Right I've got a solution

We hold a seance in the room with the safe - we call on the spirit of gentle johnny

http://www.safeandvaultstore.com/blog/safes/heard-gentle-johnny/

then using some form of witchcraft - not my area of expertise - we make his spirit into human form and instruct him to open the safe.

What could go wrong?

Sadderday · 20-02-2013 4:46pm

just for the record...... while we are waiting,,,,,,,,,

I think O.J Simpson did it

the culture of deference · 20-02-2013 4:48pm

Tucker688 wrote: »

Maybe we might find your hilarious sense of humour in the safe, You have seemed to have lost it

Let me guess 29 posts, you are re reg having been banned for being a **** already

Is that funny??????

Conchir · 20-02-2013 4:48pm

A full day at school, and still no news :O

Sadderday · 20-02-2013 4:49pm

Conchir wrote: »

A full day at school, and still no news :O

Not yet anyway, yer man is taking the mick

jinkybhoy · 20-02-2013 4:49pm

the culture of deference wrote: »

Let me guess 29 posts, you are re reg having been banned for being a **** already

Is that funny??????

Lads stop fighting - I'm seriously beginning to think that this safe is evil - look at what's it's doing to us!!!

Tucker688 · 20-02-2013 4:50pm

Nope, just think the mention of porn and condoms in a safe is pretty ridicolous and absolutely hilarious

Sadderday · 20-02-2013 4:50pm

someone seduce the OP somewhere and we can get crackin

NeVeR · 20-02-2013 4:53pm

be cool if then opened there was a Key inside.. not the Key to the safe.. but the key to something... people on here would go mental wanting to know WHAT THE KEY IS FOR AHHHHHHHH ..

Sadderday · 20-02-2013 4:54pm

NeVeR wrote: »

be cool if then opened there was a Key inside.. not the Key to the safe.. but the key to something... people on here would go mental wanting to know WHAT THE KEY IS FOR AHHHHHHHH ..

key to my heart

Sadderday · 20-02-2013 4:55pm

key to my vagine

Boscoirl · 20-02-2013 4:55pm

It could be Pirate treasure!

OP check google maps and see if there is an X markd over your house

AskMyChocolate · 20-02-2013 4:57pm

Son0vagun wrote: »

Considering the previous owner died after a long battle with cancer I would imagine he emptied it long before he died.

Pfft. He did in me bollix. He died of curiosity wondering what the fcuk was in the safe.

Shoutcast Ireland · 20-02-2013 4:59pm

i two would like to know whats in there

I found a Safe.

Comments