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Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭Foweva Awone


    Now this looks like a rant and a half, if only I could decipher it!

    "Tha I May Hear Of Tha Fella Wiv Tha Cruckit Teeth & Heroin Head/Heads From Tha Youngest 2 Tha Oldest May God Forgive Me Bu I'll Tel Ya 1 Thing They Weren't Called Run Aways For Nottin Owl Corner Boy Now Screenshot Wha Ye Lyk I'll Say Wha I Want An No1 Will Stop Or Try Ta My Children Made Me Hu I Am Today Sum Myt Dis Lyk My Honesty Bu Tha Is Me IV Ben Tru Hell An Back An Is Standing Wiv My Head Held High Cos I'm A Gud Person & Mother 1 Thing Is For Sure My Children Will Thank Me For Tha Cos I'm Only On Dis Earth Ta Be A Mother Now For Tha 1s Tha Ar By Tha Ways Der For Me & My Innocent Children Will Face Der God Aswell Ye Know Hu Ye Are Remove Yere Selfs From My Page Ye Nosey Shower Of Small Minded People I Wudnt Give My Children For Tha World Once Der Happy & Loved I'm Sure I Ain't Tha Only Single Mother Ou Der & Won't Be Tha Last They Will Need Or Want For Nottin Wen Dey Have A Strong Independent Person Lyk Me Ta Bring Dem Up & Also 1 Of Tha Best GranMothers Any1 Cud Ask For & Tha For Tha Smelly Gowls Tha Ar Only Left Overs Tryna Make It Ou It's All Gud Wiv No1 Daddy's & Family Plz Believe Me We All No Where An Wha Ye Came From Yee Jus Have Ta Remind Yeresefs Tha Same Ta Not Forget Cum Down Of Tha High Horse Cos I'm Pretty Sure It's A ****in Donkey!"


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,092 ✭✭✭fineso.mom


    'Come down off that high horse cos I'm pretty sure it's a f##king donkey' ....That last line isclass in fairness.


  • Registered Users Posts: 148 ✭✭aoh


    fineso.mom wrote: »
    'Come down off that high horse cos I'm pretty sure it's a f##king donkey' ....That last line isclass in fairness.

    You Forgot To Capitalise Every Word


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,391 ✭✭✭Damien360


    Now this looks like a rant and a half, if only I could decipher it!

    "Tha I May Hear Of Tha Fella Wiv Tha Cruckit Teeth & Heroin Head/Heads From Tha Youngest 2 Tha Oldest May God Forgive Me Bu I'll Tel Ya 1 Thing They Weren't Called Run Aways For Nottin Owl Corner Boy Now Screenshot Wha Ye Lyk I'll Say Wha I Want An No1 Will Stop Or Try Ta My Children Made Me Hu I Am Today Sum Myt Dis Lyk My Honesty Bu Tha Is Me IV Ben Tru Hell An Back An Is Standing Wiv My Head Held High Cos I'm A Gud Person & Mother 1 Thing Is For Sure My Children Will Thank Me For Tha Cos I'm Only On Dis Earth Ta Be A Mother Now For Tha 1s Tha Ar By Tha Ways Der For Me & My Innocent Children Will Face Der God Aswell Ye Know Hu Ye Are Remove Yere Selfs From My Page Ye Nosey Shower Of Small Minded People I Wudnt Give My Children For Tha World Once Der Happy & Loved I'm Sure I Ain't Tha Only Single Mother Ou Der & Won't Be Tha Last They Will Need Or Want For Nottin Wen Dey Have A Strong Independent Person Lyk Me Ta Bring Dem Up & Also 1 Of Tha Best GranMothers Any1 Cud Ask For & Tha For Tha Smelly Gowls Tha Ar Only Left Overs Tryna Make It Ou It's All Gud Wiv No1 Daddy's & Family Plz Believe Me We All No Where An Wha Ye Came From Yee Jus Have Ta Remind Yeresefs Tha Same Ta Not Forget Cum Down Of Tha High Horse Cos I'm Pretty Sure It's A ****in Donkey!"

    Are they using voice dictate into Facebook or is that even possible ? I need google translate for that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    Now this looks like a rant and a half, if only I could decipher it!

    "Tha I May Hear Of Tha Fella Wiv Tha Cruckit Teeth & Heroin Head/Heads From Tha Youngest 2 Tha Oldest May God Forgive Me Bu I'll Tel Ya 1 Thing They Weren't Called Run Aways For Nottin Owl Corner Boy Now Screenshot Wha Ye Lyk I'll Say Wha I Want An No1 Will Stop Or Try Ta My Children Made Me Hu I Am Today Sum Myt Dis Lyk My Honesty Bu Tha Is Me IV Ben Tru Hell An Back An Is Standing Wiv My Head Held High Cos I'm A Gud Person & Mother 1 Thing Is For Sure My Children Will Thank Me For Tha Cos I'm Only On Dis Earth Ta Be A Mother Now For Tha 1s Tha Ar By Tha Ways Der For Me & My Innocent Children Will Face Der God Aswell Ye Know Hu Ye Are Remove Yere Selfs From My Page Ye Nosey Shower Of Small Minded People I Wudnt Give My Children For Tha World Once Der Happy & Loved I'm Sure I Ain't Tha Only Single Mother Ou Der & Won't Be Tha Last They Will Need Or Want For Nottin Wen Dey Have A Strong Independent Person Lyk Me Ta Bring Dem Up & Also 1 Of Tha Best GranMothers Any1 Cud Ask For & Tha For Tha Smelly Gowls Tha Ar Only Left Overs Tryna Make It Ou It's All Gud Wiv No1 Daddy's & Family Plz Believe Me We All No Where An Wha Ye Came From Yee Jus Have Ta Remind Yeresefs Tha Same Ta Not Forget Cum Down Of Tha High Horse Cos I'm Pretty Sure It's A ****in Donkey!"
    I may hear of that fella with the crooked teeth and heroin head/heads from the youngest two. The oldest, may God forgive me but I’ll tell you one thing, they weren’t called runaways for nothing old corner boy, now screenshot what you like. I’ll say what I want and no one will stop me or try to. My children made me who I am today. Some might dislike my honesty but that is me. I’ve been through hell and back and I’m standing with my head held high because I’m a good person and mother. One thing is for sure, my children will thank me for that because I’m only n this earth to be a mother. Now, for those that are by the ways there for me and my innocent children will face there God as well. (??)

    You know who you are. Remove yourselves from my page you nosey shower of small minded people. I wouldn’t give my children for the world, once they’re happy and loved. I’m sure I ain’t the only single mother out there and won’t be the last. They will need or want for nothing when they have a strong independent person like me to bring them up and also one of the best grandmothers anyone could ask for and that for the smelly gowls that are only left overs trying to make out it’s all good with number 1 Daddy’s and family. Please believe me, we all no where and what you came from, you just have to remind yourselves the same, to not to forget to come down off that high horse, because I’m pretty sure it’s a fcuking donkey!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,995 ✭✭✭Ipso


    Now this looks like a rant and a half, if only I could decipher it!

    "Tha I May Hear Of Tha Fella Wiv Tha Cruckit Teeth & Heroin Head/Heads From Tha Youngest 2 Tha Oldest May God Forgive Me Bu I'll Tel Ya 1 Thing They Weren't Called Run Aways For Nottin Owl Corner Boy Now Screenshot Wha Ye Lyk I'll Say Wha I Want An No1 Will Stop Or Try Ta My Children Made Me Hu I Am Today Sum Myt Dis Lyk My Honesty Bu Tha Is Me IV Ben Tru Hell An Back An Is Standing Wiv My Head Held High Cos I'm A Gud Person & Mother 1 Thing Is For Sure My Children Will Thank Me For Tha Cos I'm Only On Dis Earth Ta Be A Mother Now For Tha 1s Tha Ar By Tha Ways Der For Me & My Innocent Children Will Face Der God Aswell Ye Know Hu Ye Are Remove Yere Selfs From My Page Ye Nosey Shower Of Small Minded People I Wudnt Give My Children For Tha World Once Der Happy & Loved I'm Sure I Ain't Tha Only Single Mother Ou Der & Won't Be Tha Last They Will Need Or Want For Nottin Wen Dey Have A Strong Independent Person Lyk Me Ta Bring Dem Up & Also 1 Of Tha Best GranMothers Any1 Cud Ask For & Tha For Tha Smelly Gowls Tha Ar Only Left Overs Tryna Make It Ou It's All Gud Wiv No1 Daddy's & Family Plz Believe Me We All No Where An Wha Ye Came From Yee Jus Have Ta Remind Yeresefs Tha Same Ta Not Forget Cum Down Of Tha High Horse Cos I'm Pretty Sure It's A ****in Donkey!"

    It’s like Irvine Welsh and James Joyce had a child and starved it of oxygen.


  • Registered Users Posts: 21,850 ✭✭✭✭Mam of 4


    Is it a bad sign if you can read post without trying to decipher it ?
    :D


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,309 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    I think so... I couldn't even read 2 words


  • Registered Users Posts: 401 ✭✭soiseztomabel


    SusieBlue wrote: »
    I could write a book on her, she's the most spoilt self absorbed person I've ever met & she's surrounded by enablers.

    There is a christening gown that has been in my mams family for over 70 years, it was handmade by my Great Grandmother for my Grandmother.
    Its unisex and has been worn by every baby born into the family since, both male and female.
    Its obviously quite old fashioned & plain by modern standards but its absolutely beautiful and obviously very sentimenal to us all.
    My mam looks after it and gives it out as necessary when each new baby is born into the fmaily.

    My dopey cousin came looking for it when she was only 5 months along and wanted it then. Her excuse was that she wanted to get it dry cleaned even though my mam handwashes it herself.
    It was reluctantly handed over and I had a very bad feeling about it.

    Not long after, it transpired she had gotten the gown altered.
    She got some giant bows, puff sleeves, diamontés and patches of lace stitched on to it, to make it more "girly".
    Its no longer unisex and its completely ruined, it looks so tacky. 70 years of tradition and preservation undone in one afternoon.

    We were all devastated and made it known to her, she turned it around and said the stress of it was effecting her health and her pregnancy & we would be to blame if anything happened her.
    She & her mother then ignored everyone until she announced she was having the name reveal party.

    She says she has no regrets, that the gown is now better for all the little girls and whoever next has a boy can just buy their own outfit. :rolleyes::rolleyes:


    This made me angry


  • Registered Users Posts: 122 ✭✭divide_by_zero


    Now this looks like a rant and a half, if only I could decipher it!

    "Tha I May Hear Of Tha Fella Wiv Tha Cruckit Teeth & Heroin Head/Heads From Tha Youngest 2 Tha Oldest May God Forgive Me Bu I'll Tel Ya 1 Thing They Weren't Called Run Aways For Nottin Owl Corner Boy Now Screenshot Wha Ye Lyk I'll Say Wha I Want An No1 Will Stop Or Try Ta My Children Made Me Hu I Am Today Sum Myt Dis Lyk My Honesty Bu Tha Is Me IV Ben Tru Hell An Back An Is Standing Wiv My Head Held High Cos I'm A Gud Person & Mother 1 Thing Is For Sure My Children Will Thank Me For Tha Cos I'm Only On Dis Earth Ta Be A Mother Now For Tha 1s Tha Ar By Tha Ways Der For Me & My Innocent Children Will Face Der God Aswell Ye Know Hu Ye Are Remove Yere Selfs From My Page Ye Nosey Shower Of Small Minded People I Wudnt Give My Children For Tha World Once Der Happy & Loved I'm Sure I Ain't Tha Only Single Mother Ou Der & Won't Be Tha Last They Will Need Or Want For Nottin Wen Dey Have A Strong Independent Person Lyk Me Ta Bring Dem Up & Also 1 Of Tha Best GranMothers Any1 Cud Ask For & Tha For Tha Smelly Gowls Tha Ar Only Left Overs Tryna Make It Ou It's All Gud Wiv No1 Daddy's & Family Plz Believe Me We All No Where An Wha Ye Came From Yee Jus Have Ta Remind Yeresefs Tha Same Ta Not Forget Cum Down Of Tha High Horse Cos I'm Pretty Sure It's A ****in Donkey!"

    None of it made any sense to me and then right in the middle of it all "A Strong Independent Person" spelt correctly and then straight back to the gibberish after :D


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭Foweva Awone


    This one is great, not dumb!! :D. I LOLed (and winced!)

    "See you pack off geebags that told me the coil doesn’t hurt that it’s just a “scratch” may ya step on a Lego! nurse holding me down wiping me sweat the doctor saying you’ve a hard tight cervix (thanks) and a deep uterus (whatever the **** that means) and that I should have took ponstan when it’s heroin I needed! It felt like blades so I’m sitting here with a hot water bottle cursing all men cursing the fact I was born a woman cursing all the mas that said last month sure it great and cursing that it’s too early for wine"


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,075 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    ^^She should just tell himself to bag it up.

    To thine own self be true



  • Registered Users Posts: 5,754 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    ^^She should just tell himself to bag it up.

    He'll be looking after his own bag for a few days by the sound of that post.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭Foweva Awone


    Pure poetry this one ...

    ...

    (Warning!!! Explicit! Not for the faint hearted)🀪

    Was down in our local Asda superstore earlier picking up bits for our forthcoming family holiday abroad when I spotted the newest addition to the hair removal range; spray on Veet removal cream.

    I’ve been delaying beautifying the aul lady garden for weeks coz quite frankly the sight of the aul nether regions scares the **** out of me - me pubes look like the love child of Hagrid from Harry Potter and Kate Bush’s 1980s perm! Anyhow with the holiday upon us (36 hours away to be precise) I couldn’t delay any longer!
    Lobbed a tin in my trolley alongside a king size pack of Plenty/Bounty kitchen towels (damage limitation for the wayward danglies) and off I went! 🀗

    Sorted the fambo out and advised hubby I needed a half hour to myself in the bathroom with the cheeky wink of a bit of slap and tickle to set the holiday season off once I’d plucked and defeathered the holy grail!🥰

    Ran a bath, Stripped the drawers off and went trigger happy on the Vajaja , groin area, thighs - you name it - not a hair was spared save for the ones attached to me decade old dangle berries ;
    - Most people have a hairy arsehole (mine is downstairs watching the footy)

    So I plonked myself on the toilet seat - set the timer for 5 minutes on my phone and grabbed my latest blockbuster (Kane & Abel by Jeffrey Archer).
    I became so engrossed in my book that time sped by and after what I thought was 5 minutes I grabbed my phone wondering why the alarm hadn’t gone!
    The ****in thing was on silent!
    Piece of Apple Shyte! 🀬

    15 minutes since application had lapsed!
    Could smell burning until I realised it was me flaps on fire! It stank of Grimsby Fish market and the shrivelled up hairs looked black maggots!
    Grabbed the spatula thingy to scrape the cream off and in the process took about 4 layers of skin off alongside enough hair to provide wigs for the local OAP’s home!

    Ouchie! Me poor Fanny!!!!
    Meanwhile there’s singed pubes attempting to escape into every orifice in the bathroom! Short and curlies on the ****in toilet brush - in the bastarding toothpaste and stuck to the grouting of the tiles!
    Wincing I hopped into the shower - blasted the cold on and proceeded to anaesthesia the pain with ice cold water. The relief was instantaneous and I’m sure me hubby thought I was having shenanigans with someone as I ooohed and aaaahhhed with relief!
    I swear me’ flange hadn’t seen as much action since my uni days!
    After a considerable amount of time freezing the burn I’ve now got my very own portwine birthmark on me flaps and me’ Caesarian scar looks like it needs re-sewing - 8 years after me last child came wriggling into the world!

    Why the **** is the hair on my head thinning exponentially meanwhile body hair is sprouting up everywhere - nipples, toes, ears and feckin nose! I blame that bitch Mother Nature. Should’ve booked into my local salon for a wax but felt I couldn’t inflict the trauma of ten tonage of knotted Hair onto another female! I don’t do myself any favours if I’m honest coz the ladygarden doesn’t get much attention unless I’m going somewhere where I might have to expose myself! Since I’ve had no mad excuses in ages me pubes are exceptionally long and had started to curl around me’ ankles so much so that I was thinking it might be easier to plait the ****ers in cornrows and add beads - set a new fashion craze for 2019!

    I resigned myself to the fact that me drawers will be honking of TCP for the forthcoming fortnight as my bits attempt to recover from the scalding of their life and I’m steering clear from any hot bedroom action for the foreseeable future too!
    Sorry Hubby - DIY only!

    The drainage system of south Liverpool has now become clogged with Irish fanny hair despite two gallons of Mr Muscle drain unblocker and the Hubby has Dynarod on speed dial!

    Next time I’m staying Hairy!
    #FML
    #VeetSprayMyHole
    #JustCallMeHimalyanJoe


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,826 ✭✭✭tea and coffee


    Sounds like one of those Veet for Men reviews on Amazon.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,826 ✭✭✭tea and coffee


    A local business posted this.
    News hoes?! And then I clicked into the full photo- the dog has shoes.


  • Registered Users Posts: 106 ✭✭Historybluff


    Pure poetry this one ...

    ...

    (Warning!!! Explicit! Not for the faint hearted)🀪

    Was down in our local Asda superstore earlier picking up bits for our forthcoming family holiday abroad when I spotted the newest addition to the hair removal range; spray on Veet removal cream.

    I’ve been delaying beautifying the aul lady garden for weeks coz quite frankly the sight of the aul nether regions scares the **** out of me - me pubes look like the love child of Hagrid from Harry Potter and Kate Bush’s 1980s perm! Anyhow with the holiday upon us (36 hours away to be precise) I couldn’t delay any longer!
    Lobbed a tin in my trolley alongside a king size pack of Plenty/Bounty kitchen towels (damage limitation for the wayward danglies) and off I went! 🀗

    Sorted the fambo out and advised hubby I needed a half hour to myself in the bathroom with the cheeky wink of a bit of slap and tickle to set the holiday season off once I’d plucked and defeathered the holy grail!🥰

    Ran a bath, Stripped the drawers off and went trigger happy on the Vajaja , groin area, thighs - you name it - not a hair was spared save for the ones attached to me decade old dangle berries ;
    - Most people have a hairy arsehole (mine is downstairs watching the footy)

    So I plonked myself on the toilet seat - set the timer for 5 minutes on my phone and grabbed my latest blockbuster (Kane & Abel by Jeffrey Archer).
    I became so engrossed in my book that time sped by and after what I thought was 5 minutes I grabbed my phone wondering why the alarm hadn’t gone!
    The ****in thing was on silent!
    Piece of Apple Shyte! 🀬

    15 minutes since application had lapsed!
    Could smell burning until I realised it was me flaps on fire! It stank of Grimsby Fish market and the shrivelled up hairs looked black maggots!
    Grabbed the spatula thingy to scrape the cream off and in the process took about 4 layers of skin off alongside enough hair to provide wigs for the local OAP’s home!

    Ouchie! Me poor Fanny!!!!
    Meanwhile there’s singed pubes attempting to escape into every orifice in the bathroom! Short and curlies on the ****in toilet brush - in the bastarding toothpaste and stuck to the grouting of the tiles!
    Wincing I hopped into the shower - blasted the cold on and proceeded to anaesthesia the pain with ice cold water. The relief was instantaneous and I’m sure me hubby thought I was having shenanigans with someone as I ooohed and aaaahhhed with relief!
    I swear me’ flange hadn’t seen as much action since my uni days!
    After a considerable amount of time freezing the burn I’ve now got my very own portwine birthmark on me flaps and me’ Caesarian scar looks like it needs re-sewing - 8 years after me last child came wriggling into the world!

    Why the **** is the hair on my head thinning exponentially meanwhile body hair is sprouting up everywhere - nipples, toes, ears and feckin nose! I blame that bitch Mother Nature. Should’ve booked into my local salon for a wax but felt I couldn’t inflict the trauma of ten tonage of knotted Hair onto another female! I don’t do myself any favours if I’m honest coz the ladygarden doesn’t get much attention unless I’m going somewhere where I might have to expose myself! Since I’ve had no mad excuses in ages me pubes are exceptionally long and had started to curl around me’ ankles so much so that I was thinking it might be easier to plait the ****ers in cornrows and add beads - set a new fashion craze for 2019!

    I resigned myself to the fact that me drawers will be honking of TCP for the forthcoming fortnight as my bits attempt to recover from the scalding of their life and I’m steering clear from any hot bedroom action for the foreseeable future too!
    Sorry Hubby - DIY only!

    The drainage system of south Liverpool has now become clogged with Irish fanny hair despite two gallons of Mr Muscle drain unblocker and the Hubby has Dynarod on speed dial!

    Next time I’m staying Hairy!
    #FML
    #VeetSprayMyHole
    #JustCallMeHimalyanJoe

    Surely that's a wind up? It's suspiciously detailed. Would anyone be so shameless and vulgar as to post that if it really happened to them?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    Surely that's a wind up? It's suspiciously detailed. Would anyone be so shameless and vulgar as to post that if it really happened to them?
    In the social media age of over sharing, I wouldn't be surprised if this was real.


  • Registered Users Posts: 397 ✭✭js35


    :pac:


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,919 ✭✭✭simongurnick


    Pure poetry this one ...

    ...

    (Warning!!! Explicit! Not for the faint hearted)🀪

    Was down in our local Asda superstore earlier picking up bits for our forthcoming family holiday abroad when I spotted the newest addition to the hair removal range; spray on Veet removal cream.

    I’ve been delaying beautifying the aul lady garden for weeks coz quite frankly the sight of the aul nether regions scares the **** out of me - me pubes look like the love child of Hagrid from Harry Potter and Kate Bush’s 1980s perm! Anyhow with the holiday upon us (36 hours away to be precise) I couldn’t delay any longer!
    Lobbed a tin in my trolley alongside a king size pack of Plenty/Bounty kitchen towels (damage limitation for the wayward danglies) and off I went! 🀗

    Sorted the fambo out and advised hubby I needed a half hour to myself in the bathroom with the cheeky wink of a bit of slap and tickle to set the holiday season off once I’d plucked and defeathered the holy grail!🥰

    Ran a bath, Stripped the drawers off and went trigger happy on the Vajaja , groin area, thighs - you name it - not a hair was spared save for the ones attached to me decade old dangle berries ;
    - Most people have a hairy arsehole (mine is downstairs watching the footy)

    So I plonked myself on the toilet seat - set the timer for 5 minutes on my phone and grabbed my latest blockbuster (Kane & Abel by Jeffrey Archer).
    I became so engrossed in my book that time sped by and after what I thought was 5 minutes I grabbed my phone wondering why the alarm hadn’t gone!
    The ****in thing was on silent!
    Piece of Apple Shyte! 🀬

    15 minutes since application had lapsed!
    Could smell burning until I realised it was me flaps on fire! It stank of Grimsby Fish market and the shrivelled up hairs looked black maggots!
    Grabbed the spatula thingy to scrape the cream off and in the process took about 4 layers of skin off alongside enough hair to provide wigs for the local OAP’s home!

    Ouchie! Me poor Fanny!!!!
    Meanwhile there’s singed pubes attempting to escape into every orifice in the bathroom! Short and curlies on the ****in toilet brush - in the bastarding toothpaste and stuck to the grouting of the tiles!
    Wincing I hopped into the shower - blasted the cold on and proceeded to anaesthesia the pain with ice cold water. The relief was instantaneous and I’m sure me hubby thought I was having shenanigans with someone as I ooohed and aaaahhhed with relief!
    I swear me’ flange hadn’t seen as much action since my uni days!
    After a considerable amount of time freezing the burn I’ve now got my very own portwine birthmark on me flaps and me’ Caesarian scar looks like it needs re-sewing - 8 years after me last child came wriggling into the world!

    Why the **** is the hair on my head thinning exponentially meanwhile body hair is sprouting up everywhere - nipples, toes, ears and feckin nose! I blame that bitch Mother Nature. Should’ve booked into my local salon for a wax but felt I couldn’t inflict the trauma of ten tonage of knotted Hair onto another female! I don’t do myself any favours if I’m honest coz the ladygarden doesn’t get much attention unless I’m going somewhere where I might have to expose myself! Since I’ve had no mad excuses in ages me pubes are exceptionally long and had started to curl around me’ ankles so much so that I was thinking it might be easier to plait the ****ers in cornrows and add beads - set a new fashion craze for 2019!

    I resigned myself to the fact that me drawers will be honking of TCP for the forthcoming fortnight as my bits attempt to recover from the scalding of their life and I’m steering clear from any hot bedroom action for the foreseeable future too!
    Sorry Hubby - DIY only!

    The drainage system of south Liverpool has now become clogged with Irish fanny hair despite two gallons of Mr Muscle drain unblocker and the Hubby has Dynarod on speed dial!

    Next time I’m staying Hairy!
    #FML
    #VeetSprayMyHole
    #JustCallMeHimalyanJoe

    Got some bad news from my sons surgery this morning (he is safe) but this gave me a well needed laugh.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,093 ✭✭✭rawn


    Insert "Sure, Jan" gif here

    "I've been asked to post this on behalf of my friends who have just been told that their friends daughter whilst at a music festival was offered a free bottle of sealed water.
    Upon taking the bottle she realised her hand was wet and was then approached by a couple who told her NOT to drink it as it had been drugged. It was apparently injected in the neck of the bottle with a drug that puts you in a drunkard state requiring medical attention.
    Definitely worth a share as my own daughter and her friends are often at music festivals. It's sadly a sick world we live in
    😀😀😀😀 Dont accept anything from anybody
    STAY SAFE XX copied from a friend"


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,093 ✭✭✭rawn


    Insert "Sure, Jan" gif here

    "I've been asked to post this on behalf of my friends who have just been told that their friends daughter whilst at a music festival was offered a free bottle of sealed water.
    Upon taking the bottle she realised her hand was wet and was then approached by a couple who told her NOT to drink it as it had been drugged. It was apparently injected in the neck of the bottle with a drug that puts you in a drunkard state requiring medical attention.
    Definitely worth a share as my own daughter and her friends are often at music festivals. It's sadly a sick world we live in
    😀😀😀😀 Dont accept anything from anybody
    STAY SAFE XX copied from a friend"


  • Registered Users Posts: 34,208 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    How about a "Dumb/great reposts of something that was posted two posts ago" thread :p

    Fingal County Council are certainly not competent to be making decisions about the most important piece of infrastructure on the island. They need to stick to badly designed cycle lanes and deciding on whether Mrs Murphy can have her kitchen extension.



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,749 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    Spotted on a Lucan Parents page

    Anyone want this school jumper for Scoil Aine?
    Size 30, Pervert Condition.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,093 ✭✭✭rawn


    How about a "Dumb/great reposts of something that was posted two posts ago" thread :p

    More like a "boards app sucks ass" thread


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,029 ✭✭✭SusieBlue


    I hate it when I'm round the city on my own and I have no body to chat to it fuking really does piss me off lyk why I have no idea or clue why lyk maybe people might not want me to be der mate
    If they don't I don't know what to fuking do anymore or may be I'm just better off having no Plas at all lyk if that's the case so then for ffsk I don't know y I'm in der on my own anyway it's not fair on me


  • Registered Users Posts: 71,799 ✭✭✭✭Ted_YNWA


    SusieBlue wrote:
    I hate it when I'm round the city on my own and I have no body to chat to it fuking really does piss me off lyk why I have no idea or clue why lyk maybe people might not want me to be der mate If they don't I don't know what to fuking do anymore or may be I'm just better off having no Plas at all lyk if that's the case so then for ffsk I don't know y I'm in der on my own anyway it's not fair on me

    If I knew them, I'd avoid them too


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,174 ✭✭✭RhubarbCrumble


    Spotted on a Lucan Parents page

    Anyone want this school jumper for Scoil Aine?
    Size 30, Pervert Condition.

    Thread winner right there :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,754 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    SusieBlue wrote: »
    I hate it when I'm round the city on my own and I have no body to chat to it fuking really does piss me off lyk why I have no idea or clue why lyk maybe people might not want me to be der mate
    If they don't I don't know what to fuking do anymore or may be I'm just better off having no Plas at all lyk if that's the case so then for ffsk I don't know y I'm in der on my own anyway it's not fair on me

    Teenager? Please say its a teenager. At least that way I can understand that absolute guff is coming from one who knows not.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,862 ✭✭✭De Bhál


    From the Drumcondra Social Facebook page this morning

    'I have a decent tent for sale for Electric Picnic. It has been there before.'


This discussion has been closed.
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