Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

G_R

Original thread here: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056238863

Last thread hit 10k posts so needed to be closed.

Remember, no personally identifiable information please and thanks.

Anyway, as you were

G_R

Junkyard Cat wrote: »

Thanx hun xxx

Hope ur ok. PM me later xoxo

LadyAthame

Grand_Rajnah wrote: »

Hope ur ok. PM me later xoxo

Beautiful! :-)

Mint Aero

Junkyard Cat wrote: »

Thanx hun xxx

Grand_Rajnah wrote: »

Hope ur ok. PM me later xoxo

Good cheeseburger ye need

skirtgirl

Someone posted " Moved into our new house 2day. Love it"
A reply to that post is
"i wish u all the hight off luke x"
It took me a minute to figure out who Luke was....and how high he was!

Ed Winchester

A new thread!!

telpis

Pherekydes

skirtgirl wrote: »

"i wish u all the hight off luke x"

Someone please translate.

Toto Wolfcastle

Pherekydes wrote: »

Someone please translate.

I wish you all the height of luck.

I tried to explain 'telpis' to my sister yesterday. She's usually be pretty going with text speak and all that stuff but she was stumped.

fussyonion

Telpis-Help us?

ohnonotgmail

fussyonion wrote: »

Telpis-Help us?

its a limerick thing apparently

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=82523267&postcount=152

valoren

Part 1. RIP

It's with the angles now

Menas

We need to set up a facebook tribute page to Part 1.

coolhull

valoren wrote: »

Part 1. RIP

It's with the angles now

An' 4 evrebdy who evr lost a luvved 1, pls like an share

PizzamanIRL

A picture of a bookies slip with a bet done on the big fight tomorrow, with a caption "Oh well it's double dole week, I don't care"

Eh yeah, it's not a bonus you're getting. It's just your dole next week, paid in advance.

LynnGrace

skirtgirl wrote: »

Someone posted " Moved into our new house 2day. Love it"
A reply to that post is
"i wish u all the hight off luke x"
It took me a minute to figure out who Luke was....and how high he was!

Telpis ... Sorry, I just wanted to use my new favourite word.
I am a bit worried that I translated 'hight of Luke' easily enough.:D
Telpis baffled me completely.

InitiumNovum

valoren wrote: »

Part 1. RIP

It's with the angles now

Ah but sure look at Part 2, already looks so much like his daddy, so he duzz.

aaronjumper

"Only 34 weeks until Christmas."

Twat.

EoghanIRL

"Hope Floyd beats Mayweather"

MRnotlob606

"Disappointed as **** pacman shud of taking the anonymous decision **** sack dont think much people lasted that many rounds like he did!!"

"Anonymous decision" lol wtf, I don't think that they are going to get a random audience members opinion as the verdict.

MRnotlob606

U won't stop me seen my child I have a right to be there

In the comments he writes *" U told me I'm not aloud see it or around it*

What sort of ****ing caveman refers to his child as "it"

El Weirdo

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

U won't stop me seen my child I have a right to be there

In the comments he writes *" U told me I'm not aloud see it or around it*

What sort of ****ing caveman refers to his child as "it"

The sort of bellend that has arguments about access over fucking Facebook.

PandaPoo

Fat dirty bastard she is she riding everyone turned around and said she might be pregant of someone asked her and who and she said she don't no his name sick bastard at least my baby knows his daddy she won't be calling my baby a alien and all dis **** and she won't be saying **** about my my baby family she a sick bastard telling ya wait till September and il catch her

Fiolina

I am looking for a good ride on Lawmower no time wasters please!

dave3004

'Just walked into a shop just there where an elderly homeless man sat with a paper cup as dirty as a bin he prob found it in. Bought a 5 litre bottle of water €2.00 4 apples €0.75 handed them to the elderly homeless man. Seeing the smile on his face priceless. #everylittlehelps'

A good friend committed the above crime. There's just so much to Enjoy...I don't know where to start.

We will start with the shameless self promotion. But that's everywhere so it can be somewhat overlooked.

But the MasterCard and Tescos branding tag lines are amazing and completely unintentional !!

The repetition the the man was elderly/homeless.

The fact he bought him 4 apples!!

What's not to love about this post !!!

thesandeman

Even I find it hard to lift a 5L bottle of water to my mouth without spilling some. The elderly homeless man has no chance.

sadie06

On a hobby specific FB page I'm a member of, a woman just posted a photo of her kids with her 10 year old daughter bent over pulling a mooner….in relative close up, with the caption "Best Photo Ever" and a few smiley faces.

There are nearly 5,000 members in this group. The image is also on her own page, which is public and she has over 1,000 'friends'.

Her husband's page (from where the photo was originally linked) is also public and has nearly 500 friends. W the actual F?

Are people really this naive or is she just a dumb cow with no concern for her daughter's privacy or safety?

sadie06

sadie06 wrote: »

On a hobby specific FB page I'm a member of, a woman just posted a photo of her kids with her 10 year old daughter bent over pulling a mooner….in relative close up, with the caption "Best Photo Ever" and a few smiley faces.

There are nearly 5,000 members in this group. The image is also on her own page, which is public and she has over 1,000 'friends'.

Her husband's page (from where the photo was originally linked) is also public and has nearly 500 friends. W the actual F?

Are people really this naive or is she just a dumb cow with no concern for her daughter's privacy or safety?

Friend of mine put up pics of his 10 year old daughter sunbathing in a 2 piece bikini on their holidays.

Just...no.

fussyonion

"hoo strawberry dakirries in the tunderoad cafy on a georgous bank holiday sure what else would ya be doin wha"

Accompanied by the obligatory photo of said "dakirries".

Menas

Everyone on my FB feed seems to have been hit with the stupid stick recently. Am doing lots of 'ignore' at the moment.

Lisha

PandaPoo wrote: »

Fat dirty bastard she is she riding everyone turned around and said she might be pregant of someone asked her and who and she said she don't no his name sick bastard at least my baby knows his daddy she won't be calling my baby a alien and all dis **** and she won't be saying **** about my my baby family she a sick bastard telling ya wait till September and il catch her

So this fine upstanding citizen is waiting for a baby to be born, so she can tell all and sundry, that the child is an ugly fatherless child with a skank for a mother .

Those poor children haven't a chance

retro:electro

This isn't a facebook quote but I was out last night and met my cousin who I grew up with but haven't seen for about five years because she moved to Australia. She's home for a few weeks and I saw her out last night and I said hi to her, I was met with a blank stare as she had no idea who I was. Once I reminded her she said "oh ya ha sure you're not on facebook are ya". Kinda sad really that if you're not on facebook some people forget you even exist.

kunst nugget

anna080 wrote: »

This isn't a facebook quote but I was out last night and met my cousin who I grew up with but haven't seen for about five years because she moved to Australia. She's home for a few weeks and I saw her out last night and I said hi to her, I was met with a blank stare as she had no idea who I was. Once I reminded her she said "oh ya ha sure you're not on facebook are ya". Kinda sad really that if you're not on facebook some people forget you even exist.

I was going to read that but when I realised you're not on facebook, I didn't bother...

Nialinius

Sick of these fake statuses on fakebook

The irony...

Mam of 4

Nialinius wrote: »

The irony...

Be careful they don't think Irony is a new word for ironing...

Like Telpis

skirtgirl

"Some rare yolks around dis town haha !!
Share
8 people like this."
Eight people obviously have found really rare egg yolks so maybe they are not so rare...?

efb

Where do ye find these scobes! They can't be real can they?

skirtgirl

efb wrote: »

Where do ye find these scobes! They can't be real can they?

They can be found easily through acquaintances on fb. Click click click and before you know it all these crazy statuses are on your page.

efb

skirtgirl wrote: »

They can be found easily through acquaintances on fb. Click click click and before you know it all these crazy statuses are on your page.

I tried. Only spoof pages

skirtgirl

efb wrote: »

I tried. Only spoof pages

Efb you are lucky in that case. They do exist.
Edit. This thread wouldn't exist without them. Bow to all them people.

PandaPoo

Lisha wrote: »

So this fine upstanding citizen is waiting for a baby to be born, so she can tell all and sundry, that the child is an ugly fatherless child with a skank for a mother .

Those poor children haven't a chance

The one who wrote it is having a baby a week before me, she's broken up with the father very publicly numerous times. All the drama aired over Facebook, then a day later 'love you with all my heart, doin wats best for dr baby'

This other bird said she was going to kick the baby out of her. These people are a different species. They think they're all model parents too, it's really worrying.

dave3004

dave3004 wrote: »

'Just walked into a shop just there where an elderly homeless man sat with a paper cup as dirty as a bin he prob found it in. Bought a 5 litre bottle of water €2.00 4 apples €0.75 handed them to the elderly homeless man. Seeing the smile on his face priceless. #everylittlehelps'

A good friend committed the above crime. There's just so much to Enjoy...I don't know where to start.

We will start with the shameless self promotion. But that's everywhere so it can be somewhat overlooked.

But the MasterCard and Tescos branding tag lines are amazing and completely unintentional !!

The repetition the the man was elderly/homeless.

The fact he bought him 4 apples!!

What's not to love about this post !!!

Hijacking the plight of homeless on Facebook was so 2014.

I think sick children is the one these days. And anyone missing for more than 5 minutes.

MRnotlob606

anna080 wrote: »

This isn't a facebook quote but I was out last night and met my cousin who I grew up with but haven't seen for about five years because she moved to Australia. She's home for a few weeks and I saw her out last night and I said hi to her, I was met with a blank stare as she had no idea who I was. Once I reminded her she said "oh ya ha sure you're not on facebook are ya". Kinda sad really that if you're not on facebook some people forget you even exist.

I've had uncles walk past me without saying hello, and I'm talking about blood relative uncles.

gutenberg

Maybe not the dumbest one out there, but this one (and the comments underneath) made me laugh:

Girl 1:Ok. How many children does the queen have? And is her husband still alive? I'm so confused

Followed by comments such as:

Girl 2: Prince Philip is very much alive.

Girl 1: So how is she the queen then? Why don't we have a king?

...

Girl 1: Why is the queen dating a prince and not a king?

Girl 1: Is Prince William the queen's son?

It just went on & on from there. However, this final comment made me giggle:

Guy 1: In answer to your questions:
- The Queen has never had any children. New royals are generated at appropriate intervals by slightly modifying one of a warehouse of cloned royal embryos.
- Prince Philip was never alive.

J Mysterio

efb wrote: »

Where do ye find these scobes! They can't be real can they?

Honestly! While this thread gets a great laugh on occasion, it's also tremendously depressing.

sadie06

J Mysterio wrote: »

Honestly! While this thread gets a great laugh on occasion, it's also tremendously depressing.

FB has to be the Jeremy Kyle's production team's first call when recruiting for each series. It practically does their job for them!

sara1

This post has been deleted.

Nialinius

Pretty much anything from "hope your ok hun xx" page :P

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Someone on my feed has the following quote:

If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. ...Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.

Aside from the whiff of sub-Marilyn Monroe bullshít, it's also attributed to that noted feminist and not-at-all-a-dirty-dog-poon-hound Bob Marley :pac:

Teacher23

"What kinda muppet young1 still sucks on a doody nd her 20yrs of age. Grow up fool!!!"

Doody, eh?

PizzamanIRL

I seen stuff published today that indicates a new "game" has started on facebook! It's called Game of 72 and it's where teenagers/others are daring each other to disappear for 72 hours without letting relatives or friends know where they are, if they can stay out of sight for 72 hours they have succeeded! What a bloody stupid pitiful thing to dare anyone to do! Can you just imagine the despair that families must go through when this happens? and think of the danger that young people are putting themselves in during this 72 hour "disappearance" ! Any young person out there reading this I want you to understand the awful fear a parent feels when they don't get a text in a 24 hour period from their kid, it is indescribable, please never put your loved ones through this, it's impossible to be ever right again after a fear like that! Idiots that dare teenagers to do this sort of crap are terribly unhappy, sad and angry people and need to make others the same. if you need to talk to someone, do that and if you have time on your hands I'm sure your community could do with your help. STAY SAFE!

Dumb kids

brandnewaward

how d'ya like dem apples :0