fineso.mom wrote: » 'Come down off that high horse cos I'm pretty sure it's a f##king donkey' ....That last line isclass in fairness.
Foweva Awone wrote: » Now this looks like a rant and a half, if only I could decipher it! "Tha I May Hear Of Tha Fella Wiv Tha Cruckit Teeth & Heroin Head/Heads From Tha Youngest 2 Tha Oldest May God Forgive Me Bu I'll Tel Ya 1 Thing They Weren't Called Run Aways For Nottin Owl Corner Boy Now Screenshot Wha Ye Lyk I'll Say Wha I Want An No1 Will Stop Or Try Ta My Children Made Me Hu I Am Today Sum Myt Dis Lyk My Honesty Bu Tha Is Me IV Ben Tru Hell An Back An Is Standing Wiv My Head Held High Cos I'm A Gud Person & Mother 1 Thing Is For Sure My Children Will Thank Me For Tha Cos I'm Only On Dis Earth Ta Be A Mother Now For Tha 1s Tha Ar By Tha Ways Der For Me & My Innocent Children Will Face Der God Aswell Ye Know Hu Ye Are Remove Yere Selfs From My Page Ye Nosey Shower Of Small Minded People I Wudnt Give My Children For Tha World Once Der Happy & Loved I'm Sure I Ain't Tha Only Single Mother Ou Der & Won't Be Tha Last They Will Need Or Want For Nottin Wen Dey Have A Strong Independent Person Lyk Me Ta Bring Dem Up & Also 1 Of Tha Best GranMothers Any1 Cud Ask For & Tha For Tha Smelly Gowls Tha Ar Only Left Overs Tryna Make It Ou It's All Gud Wiv No1 Daddy's & Family Plz Believe Me We All No Where An Wha Ye Came From Yee Jus Have Ta Remind Yeresefs Tha Same Ta Not Forget Cum Down Of Tha High Horse Cos I'm Pretty Sure It's A ****in Donkey!"
SusieBlue wrote: » I could write a book on her, she's the most spoilt self absorbed person I've ever met & she's surrounded by enablers. There is a christening gown that has been in my mams family for over 70 years, it was handmade by my Great Grandmother for my Grandmother. Its unisex and has been worn by every baby born into the family since, both male and female. Its obviously quite old fashioned & plain by modern standards but its absolutely beautiful and obviously very sentimenal to us all. My mam looks after it and gives it out as necessary when each new baby is born into the fmaily. My dopey cousin came looking for it when she was only 5 months along and wanted it then. Her excuse was that she wanted to get it dry cleaned even though my mam handwashes it herself. It was reluctantly handed over and I had a very bad feeling about it. Not long after, it transpired she had gotten the gown altered. She got some giant bows, puff sleeves, diamontés and patches of lace stitched on to it, to make it more "girly". Its no longer unisex and its completely ruined, it looks so tacky. 70 years of tradition and preservation undone in one afternoon. We were all devastated and made it known to her, she turned it around and said the stress of it was effecting her health and her pregnancy & we would be to blame if anything happened her. She & her mother then ignored everyone until she announced she was having the name reveal party. She says she has no regrets, that the gown is now better for all the little girls and whoever next has a boy can just buy their own outfit. :rolleyes::rolleyes:
Purple Mountain wrote: » ^^She should just tell himself to bag it up.
Foweva Awone wrote: » Pure poetry this one ... ... (Warning!!! Explicit! Not for the faint hearted)🀪 Was down in our local Asda superstore earlier picking up bits for our forthcoming family holiday abroad when I spotted the newest addition to the hair removal range; spray on Veet removal cream. I’ve been delaying beautifying the aul lady garden for weeks coz quite frankly the sight of the aul nether regions scares the **** out of me - me pubes look like the love child of Hagrid from Harry Potter and Kate Bush’s 1980s perm! Anyhow with the holiday upon us (36 hours away to be precise) I couldn’t delay any longer! Lobbed a tin in my trolley alongside a king size pack of Plenty/Bounty kitchen towels (damage limitation for the wayward danglies) and off I went! 🀗 Sorted the fambo out and advised hubby I needed a half hour to myself in the bathroom with the cheeky wink of a bit of slap and tickle to set the holiday season off once I’d plucked and defeathered the holy grail!🥰 Ran a bath, Stripped the drawers off and went trigger happy on the Vajaja , groin area, thighs - you name it - not a hair was spared save for the ones attached to me decade old dangle berries ; - Most people have a hairy arsehole (mine is downstairs watching the footy) So I plonked myself on the toilet seat - set the timer for 5 minutes on my phone and grabbed my latest blockbuster (Kane & Abel by Jeffrey Archer). I became so engrossed in my book that time sped by and after what I thought was 5 minutes I grabbed my phone wondering why the alarm hadn’t gone! The ****in thing was on silent! Piece of Apple Shyte! 🀬 15 minutes since application had lapsed! Could smell burning until I realised it was me flaps on fire! It stank of Grimsby Fish market and the shrivelled up hairs looked black maggots! Grabbed the spatula thingy to scrape the cream off and in the process took about 4 layers of skin off alongside enough hair to provide wigs for the local OAP’s home! Ouchie! Me poor Fanny!!!! Meanwhile there’s singed pubes attempting to escape into every orifice in the bathroom! Short and curlies on the ****in toilet brush - in the bastarding toothpaste and stuck to the grouting of the tiles! Wincing I hopped into the shower - blasted the cold on and proceeded to anaesthesia the pain with ice cold water. The relief was instantaneous and I’m sure me hubby thought I was having shenanigans with someone as I ooohed and aaaahhhed with relief! I swear me’ flange hadn’t seen as much action since my uni days! After a considerable amount of time freezing the burn I’ve now got my very own portwine birthmark on me flaps and me’ Caesarian scar looks like it needs re-sewing - 8 years after me last child came wriggling into the world! Why the **** is the hair on my head thinning exponentially meanwhile body hair is sprouting up everywhere - nipples, toes, ears and feckin nose! I blame that bitch Mother Nature. Should’ve booked into my local salon for a wax but felt I couldn’t inflict the trauma of ten tonage of knotted Hair onto another female! I don’t do myself any favours if I’m honest coz the ladygarden doesn’t get much attention unless I’m going somewhere where I might have to expose myself! Since I’ve had no mad excuses in ages me pubes are exceptionally long and had started to curl around me’ ankles so much so that I was thinking it might be easier to plait the ****ers in cornrows and add beads - set a new fashion craze for 2019! I resigned myself to the fact that me drawers will be honking of TCP for the forthcoming fortnight as my bits attempt to recover from the scalding of their life and I’m steering clear from any hot bedroom action for the foreseeable future too! Sorry Hubby - DIY only! The drainage system of south Liverpool has now become clogged with Irish fanny hair despite two gallons of Mr Muscle drain unblocker and the Hubby has Dynarod on speed dial! Next time I’m staying Hairy! #FML #VeetSprayMyHole #JustCallMeHimalyanJoe
Historybluff wrote: » Surely that's a wind up? It's suspiciously detailed. Would anyone be so shameless and vulgar as to post that if it really happened to them?
Hotblack Desiato wrote: » How about a "Dumb/great reposts of something that was posted two posts ago" thread
SusieBlue wrote: I hate it when I'm round the city on my own and I have no body to chat to it fuking really does piss me off lyk why I have no idea or clue why lyk maybe people might not want me to be der mate If they don't I don't know what to fuking do anymore or may be I'm just better off having no Plas at all lyk if that's the case so then for ffsk I don't know y I'm in der on my own anyway it's not fair on me
knucklehead6 wrote: » Spotted on a Lucan Parents page Anyone want this school jumper for Scoil Aine? Size 30, Pervert Condition.
SusieBlue wrote: » I hate it when I'm round the city on my own and I have no body to chat to it fuking really does piss me off lyk why I have no idea or clue why lyk maybe people might not want me to be der mate If they don't I don't know what to fuking do anymore or may be I'm just better off having no Plas at all lyk if that's the case so then for ffsk I don't know y I'm in der on my own anyway it's not fair on me
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