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Where are all the good single men gone too?

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    #92
    starlit
    Registered Users Posts: 12,342 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    fifomania wrote: »
    I've been single for a year and a half after a four year relationship and at first I was so happy to be free and do my own thing but now it's just boring and I miss the closeness and familiarity of being with someone! :o To make things worse I'm living with girls who are in relationships so it's all I hear lately and they rub it in my nose alot but try to be jokey about it and it's like a kick in the stomach! :( to say stop looking and you will meet someone isn't at all helpful either! I get ya snuggles, it isn't easy!

    hey, don't worry, everyone has been in the same boat at some point in their lives. Its just a matter of getting off that boat...it must be hard though. I used to live with a group of girls, some had boyfriends other hadn't and you know what, I wasn't bothered, those who had bf's didn't rub it in and the one that hadn't boyfriends were quiet snobbish when it came to boys! They didn't like the other girls boyfriends hanging around!
    Stheno wrote: »
    +1 OP you really come across as far too ready to strike a guy off for fairly trivial things in a lot of ways.

    And secondly any suggestions you've been given by people for meeting new people you just brush aside???

    Get out more, broaden your horizons beyond the local pub and stop referring to guys as

    Frankly, as a woman I find your attitude depressing and insulting to men. You appear to be completely obsessed with the superficial, and whilst one will judge someone intially on physical appearance etc, I don't think a single bloke would pass the long list of objections you have!

    Not really, I do give guys a chance though. If they blow they blow it big time! no going back! I have been there done that with the suggestions. Maybe I'm just looking in the wrong places :confused: Attitude is just fine, its just became more apparent lately not all the time though when it comes to lack of eligble men! I go for personality not just looks!


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    #93
    mariebeth
    Registered Users Posts: 892 ✭✭✭mariebeth


    OP, I'm 27 and single at the moment after breaking up with my ex about a month ago. I think that part of the reason I went in to being in a relationship with him because I felt like you are feeling now, I just really wanted to be in a relationship, and he was (and still is) one of the good guys. I just realised that after 18 months, my romantic feelings had changed to more friendship feelings.

    I have learnt a valuable lesson though, and that's to just be, be in the moment, stop looking to the future, because you're just going to get depressed if it doesn't happen when you want it to be. And the more you get stressed about something, the less likely it's going to happen, or if it does, it's just not going to last. So just try to relax, take a few deep breaths whenever you start getting stressed, and try to be happy in the moment.


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    #94
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    I get where the op is coming from but I hate this "wheres my pince charming" attitude that it seems stuff like Sex and the City has told women they're all entitled to. I honestly mean this in the best possible way OP but what makes you such a catch yourself? if you want a man that has all these amazing qualities you're looking for its gotta work both ways.

    I'm answering your turnoffs list for sh1ts n giggles:


    Dirty hands Clean hands all the time for me, hate having long fingernails too
    Baldy not much men can do about that tbh, I have my hair, but in 10 years time i might not
    Short height, needs to be taller than me not just an inch or two but at least more than 6 inches taller than me! I’ve nearly always fancied taller men! I'm 5ft8 or 9, not tall by guy standards, pretty average
    Inconsiderate jokes errr, I post in AH a lot, and have a very sarcastic sense of humour
    Bad breath first thing in the morning, dont we all? aside from that I chew gum most of the day as I work in a call centre so spnd all day yapping, more you talk the worse your breath smells
    Horrible teeth meh, could be whiter, but they;re straight for the most part, missing some of my back ones but you cant see those anyway
    Smelly feet after i go for a jog, sure, change my socks every day though :pac:
    Side burns not sure what you mean, dont have big mutton chop ones but do have smaller ones
    Without a doubt smoking stench dont smoke
    No dress sense most of the time, blazer with hoody underneath, jeans, cons, but I do wear suits on nights out occasionally, just because, not into designer clothes for the most part, i wear what i like the look of, dont care if its from Ralph Lauren or Pennys
    No common sense acts like a child depends on the situation :pac:
    Know it all hmmm, some may say..
    Gods gift dont believe in god but have no aspirations that i'm anyone women would fawn over
    Full of oneself quietly confident about some things, shy about others, happily point out my own flaws
    Splashes the cash i buy nice things i want when i can afford them, but i dont show off, i buy stuff for me not so other people can see what i have
    Boaster see above
    Lies and makes up stories wrecks my head too
    Wears Jewellery dont even own a wristwatch, thats what phones are for!
    Overly religious nope, dont believe in god
    Not ambitious just finished a course in filmmaking, hope to start getting into making shorts and possible setting up a production company, am also a trained massage therapist
    No motivation see above
    Not willing to travel too much of a home bird love travelling, was in the states by myself for a few weeks back in october
    Not house trained err, do you mean can clean, or doesnt know to not poop on the kitchen floor :pac: i like having a clean house, plenty of cleaning supplies under my sink and I hoover the place all the time
    Poor conversationalist depnds on the conversation, hate inane chitchat, I'd rather have a discussion about something worthwhile than complain about the weather
    Control freak meh, everyone has an element of this, i dont like other people making me late etc but i dont freak out about it either
    Poor education/no job have a dayjob I hate, but its to pay the bills, did some college
    Has kids (I know harsh…I just can’t be with someone who has gone through that already, I want to have kids with someone who hasn’t had one) no kids
    Has emotional baggage/too needy! meh, we all have a bit of baggage, its inevitable, bad experiences in previous relationships make you wary of things in new ones, definitely know what i'd avoid in relationships from my last one


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    #95
    Oh_Noes
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,512 ✭✭✭Oh_Noes


    krudler wrote: »
    I get where the op is coming from but I hate this "wheres my pince charming" attitude that it seems stuff like Sex and the City has told women they're all entitled to. I honestly mean this in the best possible way OP but what makes you such a catch yourself? if you want a man that has all these amazing qualities you're looking for its gotta work both ways.

    I'm answering your turnoffs list for sh1ts n giggles:

    Women who don't know the difference between "too" and "to" :pac:


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    #96
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Oh_Noes wrote: »
    Women who don't know the difference between "too" and "to" :pac:

    Grammar Nazis too


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    #97
    Darlughda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,886 ✭✭✭Darlughda


    Fail safe way to get the man of your dreams OP.

    mix one quater of olive oil with 2 drops of jojoba oil everyday until the next new moon.

    Leave mixture to settle until waxing moon.

    At full moon mix what you have and add 2 tsps cider vinegar and 1 tablespoon olive oil.

    Say his name out loud, howl to the moon, that he will be yours.

    Then drink mixture and spell is complete.

    He is all yours.:pac:


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    #98
    Oh_Noes
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,512 ✭✭✭Oh_Noes


    krudler wrote: »
    Grammar Nazis too

    It's spelling, not grammar.


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    #99
    starlit
    Registered Users Posts: 12,342 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    krudler wrote: »
    I get where the op is coming from but I hate this "wheres my pince charming" attitude that it seems stuff like Sex and the City has told women they're all entitled to. I honestly mean this in the best possible way OP but what makes you such a catch yourself? if you want a man that has all these amazing qualities you're looking for its gotta work both ways.

    I'm answering your turnoffs list for sh1ts n giggles:

    Fair point there. I know its hard not to think like that prince charming attitude. I'm not into the whole sex and the city and all that jazz though. Tough question, I often wonder that myself...why some guys are drawn to me and others aren't. The ones I want don't want me, and the ones that do I don't want. mmm, I see what you mean. Side burns as in extremly hairy long side burns is a no no! Like I'd care where you buy your close once you don't look like a chav its ok! House trained as in can do his own cooking and cleaning and so on.


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    #100
    starlit
    Registered Users Posts: 12,342 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    Darlughda wrote: »
    Fail safe way to get the man of your dreams OP.

    mix one quater of olive oil with 2 drops of jojoba oil everyday until the next new moon.

    Leave mixture to settle until waxing moon.

    At full moon mix what you have and add 2 tsps cider vinegar and 1 tablespoon olive oil.

    Say his name out loud, howl to the moon, that he will be yours.

    Then drink mixture and spell is complete.

    He is all yours.:pac:

    You sure its not a wearwolf I be creating than a love potion or that might create my man dough!:pac: I'd prefer a vampire! Like twilight... :o


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    #101
    Raze_them_all
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,477 ✭✭✭✭Raze_them_all


    snuggles285 wrote: »
    You sure its not a wearwolf I be creating than a love potion or that might create my man dough!:pac: I'd prefer a vampire! Like twilight... :o
    A vampire that sucks D*ck and not blood?


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    #102
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Oh_Noes wrote: »
    It's spelling, not grammar.

    It's both really.
    snuggles285 wrote: »
    Fair point there. I know its hard not to think like that prince charming attitude. I'm not into the whole sex and the city and all that jazz though. Tough question, I often wonder that myself...why some guys are drawn to me and others aren't. The ones I want don't want me, and the ones that do I don't want. mmm, I see what you mean. Side burns as in extremly hairy long side burns is a no no! Like I'd care where you buy your close once you don't look like a chav its ok! House trained as in can do his own cooking and cleaning and so on.

    In fairness though having this idea of prince charming and a fairytale life wouldn't be hard as the idea is everywhere, as is the idea of what a beautiful person is. As much as people shouldn't be influenced by media and tv programs as to what we want and should want it's a very hard thing to ignore. Now by no means do I expect the perfect life or man, heck i don't want to get married or have children, but I do find myself thinking about whether or not someone on tv etc is attractive - the tanned glossy perfect look is what's considered attractive and it's all around you at all times.

    hmm, i forgot where i was going with this.

    i think i was saying the OP may have an idea of what the perfect man is for her, but is it really her fault? but then sure that's not helpful at all.

    Snuggles I think if you're willing to you should give more guys more of a chance.


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    #103
    starlit
    Registered Users Posts: 12,342 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    Raze_them_all wrote: »
    A vampire that sucks D*ck and not blood?

    No!:eek:


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    #104
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Twilight both sucks and blows, whats with Pattinson's enormous head? seriously look at it, you could block out the sun with it. and Kirsten Stewart has this permanent look of "**** did I leave the iron on before I came out?" look on her face. Twilight did the impossible and made vampires uncool, they're meant to be reanimated corpses feeding on human blood, not fcuking twinkly GAP models who go all emo at the sight of a plain looking girl.

    different thread though :pac:


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    #105
    starlit
    Registered Users Posts: 12,342 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    krudler wrote: »
    Twilight both sucks and blows, whats with Pattinson's enormous head? seriously look at it, you could block out the sun with it. and Kirsten Stewart has this permanent look of "**** did I leave the iron on before I came out?" look on her face. Twilight did the impossible and made vampires uncool, they're meant to be reanimated corpses feeding on human blood, not fcuking twinkly GAP models who go all emo at the sight of a plain looking girl.

    different thread though :pac:

    He has nice hair! :) Anyways off topic!...men:cool:


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    #106
    Raze_them_all
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,477 ✭✭✭✭Raze_them_all


    snuggles285 wrote: »
    No!:eek:
    Yes.
    krudler wrote: »
    Twilight both sucks and blows, whats with Pattinson's enormous head? seriously look at it, you could block out the sun with it. and Kirsten Stewart has this permanent look of "**** did I leave the iron on before I came out?" look on her face. Twilight did the impossible and made vampires uncool, they're meant to be reanimated corpses feeding on human blood, not fcuking twinkly GAP models who go all emo at the sight of a plain looking girl.

    different thread though :pac:
    He looks like a foot.

    From what I'm told at one stage she cuts herself and he nearly kills her. Eh surely that'd be a monthly problem. Stupid film by a stupid mormon!


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    #107
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Horribly written books too from what I've read of them, with a clear agenda and some stupifying messages to the target audience, but I digress.

    what was this thread about again? oh yeah, men are bastards.


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    #108
    ArtSmart
    Registered Users Posts: 5,614 ✭✭✭ArtSmart


    snuggles285 wrote: »
    Can't seem to find them anywhere these days! They are either taken, players, jokers or manchildren! Where are the good single men these days!? What gives? Can women just meet their dream man just like that anywhere unexpected and end up together, what are the odds?
    sorry bout that. we live in world where sex is a standard expectation. men = want sex, then sex and sex again with as many women as poss. its nothing personal, just the availability is there now.

    adulthood has been delayed by a further ten years for men. its 40's now. scary stuff.


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    #109
    Raze_them_all
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,477 ✭✭✭✭Raze_them_all


    krudler wrote: »
    Horribly written books too from what I've read of them, with a clear agenda and some stupifying messages to the target audience, but I digress.

    what was this thread about again? oh yeah, men are bastards.
    Yeah, ****in bastards not living up to unrealistic expectations.


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    #110
    Augmerson
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 6,162 ✭✭✭Augmerson


    Still plenty of decent men (not me though, I'm just a manchild wierdo too busy playing videogames), don't know where the OP is looking though. The advice given earlier about when your not looking lurve will find you is true, but also sadly living in Ireland it seems you can only meet people at bars and in nightclubs which is a recipe for disaster tbh. Don't give OP!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfUYuIVbFg0


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    #111
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Raze_them_all wrote: »
    Yeah, ****in bastards not living up to unrealistic expectations.

    We sure are, now where do I find a Katy Perry lookalike with a penchant for video games and a master in the art of making sandwiches?

    back on topic though, op, have standards, but dont exclude a lot of great guys becuase they dont instantly fit into this perfect idea of what a man should be either. I know well I'm not what ever woman wants, hell I know some women think I'm a prick, but the ones who have gone out with me know I damn sure know how to treat a girl that I am going out with.


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    #112
    starlit
    Registered Users Posts: 12,342 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    krudler wrote: »
    We sure are, now where do I find a Katy Perry lookalike with a penchant for video games and a master in the art of making sandwiches?

    back on topic though, op, have standards, but dont exclude a lot of great guys becuase they dont instantly fit into this perfect idea of what a man should be either. I know well I'm not what ever woman wants, hell I know some women think I'm a prick, but the ones who have gone out with me know I damn sure know how to treat a girl that I am going out with.

    I'm not any of them I'm afraid but I could beat you in a video game if I could!;) Ya will take note of it in future. If you treat a girl well then well thats something!


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    #113
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    snuggles285 wrote: »
    I'm not any of them I'm afraid but I could beat you in a video game if I could!;) Ya will take note of it in future. If you treat a girl well then well thats something!

    i took my ex to Paris for her birthday, does that count :cool:


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    #114
    starlit
    Registered Users Posts: 12,342 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    krudler wrote: »
    i took my ex to Paris for her birthday, does that count :cool:

    Lovely!:D


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    #115
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Well I got to go to Disneyland, and ride space mountain, and meet Mickey and Minnie (she has killer legs for a mouse :pac: ) so i got as much fun out of it as she did, still though, mah-hasive brownie points for that one


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    #116
    Augmerson
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 6,162 ✭✭✭Augmerson


    krudler wrote: »
    Well I got to go to Disneyland, and ride space mountain, and meet Mickey and Minnie (she has killer legs for a mouse :pac: ) so i got as much fun out of it as she did, still though, mah-hasive brownie points for that one

    Did your ex give you the boot because you were eyeing Minnie? Not surprised tbh, there is something about Minnie...wait wasn't that a film?


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    #117
    Panthro
    Registered Users Posts: 14,783 ✭✭✭✭Panthro


    OP, looks to me like we are all staying in these days, keeping a close eye on events in the Ladies Lounge!:D


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    #118
    K-9
    Registered Users Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    Was going to post a long reply but tbh and I amn't being smart, I don't think you know what you want yourself, long lists or not!

    As others are saying, you seem to be taking this far too seriously.

    With such detailed lists, it takes all the fun out of it and one thing nearly all men want is fun, not a feeling of being rated or graded, major turn off. I know you'll say you don't rate men and tick the boxes, but I think you are subconsciously doing it, based on this thread and men pick up on that. We usually aren't great at picking up signals or body language, but this is one area we can spot a mile off.

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



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    #119
    Miss OMMC
    Registered Users Posts: 82 ✭✭Miss OMMC


    Truth is, you can have as long a list as you want. When the right person comes along that list won't mean much.

    Sure I had a list. I wanted a tall, well built man who was charismatic and a great conversationalist... etc etc. When I first met my partner who is of average height and averge build and a little bit shy I fell head over heels for him! Why? Major chemistry to begin with and then realizing over the days and weeks and months of getting to know him just how wonderful a person he is and how compatible we are.

    I actually came across my old list not so long ago and had to laugh. It was a bit of harmless fun at the time and although my partner does fulfill some things on that list, I wouldn't in a million years change him for someone who fulfilled all of my criteria!

    What I'm saying is... you just never know!


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    #120
    mariebeth
    Registered Users Posts: 892 ✭✭✭mariebeth


    snuggles285 wrote: »
    Tough question, I often wonder that myself...why some guys are drawn to me and others aren't. The ones I want don't want me, and the ones that do I don't want. mmm, I see what you mean.

    It's quite simple really, guys seem to like a challenge, and if you're giving off the not interested vibe they're more interested than say if you're giving off the vibe that you want to 'love them, marry them & have their babies'. The guys I know tend to get scared/nervous/turned off by that attitude, and believe me, most guys can see that attitude from miles off.


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    #121
    ilovetosing
    Closed Accounts Posts: 74 ✭✭ilovetosing


    I hope people don't think this is an AH type comment BUT - OP your issue with meeting a "good single man" is more about the desperation in your speech and your "list" IMHO. Instant turn off and if you come across like you have in this thread in your everyday life then the "Good men" just wouldn't be interested and maybe thats why you don't find them.

    You sound vain,fussy,serious,no craic and high maintenance (Apologies for being blunt about it). This is my first impression of you from a thread. I am guessing that if I met you in person my first impression then would not be far off the above.

    this isn't an excuse to pick at you but my observation. Maybe take a look at your attitude to the whole thing.


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