Where are all the good single men gone too?

Darlughda

Cavehill Red wrote: »

:eek:
*Backs out of thread, terrified.*

Smart move CR.

c montgomery wrote: »

Im over here. The thing is im incredibly good looking so maybe you have just been too intimidated to approach me

anthonyk.is wrote: »

I'm rite here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take yer pick, OP.

As I said on another thread in the Ladies Lounge, this is just damn depressing reading. Are we really turning back to the 1950's after all the strides forward in equality legislation won for us by strong women?

OP, you are 25 and despairing about meeting a man who will fulfill your friends' and family's expectations?
Maybe you need to look at this, deeply.

Have you any idea of what is like to be a woman who doesn't need a man to complete her?

If you don't don't go near a relationship till you find that sense of individuality and strength within yourself.

Silverfish

I think everyone has a 'list' either consciously or sub-consciously, lots of men like tall leggy blondes or large boobs or whatever, but I think with everyone who has a 'list' it's theory only... when the 'right' person comes along, you can be damn sure the list will go out the window.

I remember the people I hung around with years ago, they all liked tall guys or dark hair or leggy blondes or whatever, meeting up with them now and the people who are the loves of their lives now, bear no relation to anything that was on these people's 'lists'.

It's just an idea, or a fantasy, it's rare you'll meet anyone who ticks ALL the boxes, and if they do, you can bet they have some other unfactored-in fault, like chewing their toenails or collecting smelly fish or whatever.

So it's really important to not let the image in your head (that could turn out to be a pain in the ass) block out the real person in front of you (that could be the love of your life).

Silverfish

Also, can I remind people here of the charter here, and that 'flirting' or requesting pm's is not allowed by the charter, and such posts will be deleted.

Thanks.

krudler

Not into that cult tripe! I go to mass but I'm not a strong devote catholic. I think its a bit fake of people who are a bit too much into it!

Umm..

SamSamSammy

I can't believe my "I will marry you" post was deleted, I was hardly asking her to marry me!!!!

Silverfish

SamSamSammy wrote: »

I can't believe my "I will marry you" post was deleted, I was hardly asking her to marry me!!!!

Please read the charter, thank you.

starlit

Lol. I'm not necessarily looking for marriage right now....:o

krudler

I'm not bothered about a salary or anything like that, a decent standard of living is all I'd ask in that stakes. He doesn't have to be flashy. Its a decent nice man yet not too nice is what I want in a man. A decent catch well good sense of humor (not offending), tall, handsom (above average looking but not drop dead gorgeous), loyal, honest, fun, educated, independent, confident, a provider, considerate, thoughtful, kind, loving and friendly person. Money is not a big thing for me. Its personality is more important than looks, but needs to be compatible. I wouldn't want him better looking or uglier than me! I'm just a little fussy. I'll post a link of the what turns you off someone in AH thread.

think you've hit the reason why you've been single for 4 years right there. thats a list of contradictory stuff you've got there, a provider but not rich, funny but not a joker? romantic but not too romantic? good looking but not too good looking or average? jesus..high maintenance is the first thing that comes to mind. for laughs, next time you meet a guy read off that list as to what you go for in men, then try find him in the cloud of dust he leaves in his wake.

SamSamSammy

Aw man, and marriage was one of the things on my list!

(hope this doesn't get me banned, surely being rejected for my hand in marriage is suffering enough!)

starlit

krudler wrote: »

think you've hit the reason why you've been single for 4 years right there. thats a list of contradictory stuff you've got there, a provider but not rich, funny but not a joker? romantic but not too romantic? good looking but not too good looking or average? jesus..high maintenance is the first thing that comes to mind. for laughs, next time you meet a guy read off that list as to what you go for in men, then try find him in the cloud of dust he leaves in his wake.

Hard to find that balance but hard to break that high maintenance barrier! I kind of well, after my ex I went on strike for about 6 months - no men! I hooked up with a few the following year but kind of wanted a break from all that. So just wanted to get to know guys, hang out with them, chat to them rather than just snog them and dance with them on the dancefloor (that became rare for the past say two years) So now getting sick of just chatting to guys and hanging out with them, I want more but not just the hooking up part and then it not going anywhere so don't know where and how I have been single for so long!? Haven't had much dates with guys in the past 4 years, mainly group dates....but had a good number of dates before I met my ex but I was in college then so there was more scope to meet guys then...I've missed the boat a few times and not realise! I've digged myself in a hole haven't I!?

krudler

snuggles285 wrote: »

Hard to find that balance but hard to break that high maintenance barrier! I kind of well, after my ex I went on strike for about 6 months - no men! I hooked up with a few the following year but kind of wanted a break from all that. So just wanted to get to know guys, hang out with them, chat to them rather than just snog them and dance with them on the dancefloor (that became rare for the past say two years) So now getting sick of just chatting to guys and hanging out with them, I want more but not just the hooking up part and then it not going anywhere so don't know where and how I have been single for so long!? Haven't had much dates with guys in the past 4 years, mainly group dates....but had a good number of dates before I met my ex but I was in college then so there was more scope to meet guys then...I've missed the boat a few times and not realise! I've digged myself in a hole haven't I!?

Yup, pretty much, next time you're out, as an experiment, go for a guy who wouldnt normally be "your type", you could be amazed at how well it can turn out..

SamSamSammy

Shes makin' a list,
Shes checkin' it twice,
She wants to find out if youre nice or 'too' nice,
Snuggles is comin' toooooo tooooown.

Silverfish

SamSamSammy wrote: »

Shes makin' a list,
Shes checkin' it twice,
She wants to find out if youre nice or 'too' nice,
Snuggles is comin' toooooo tooooown.

Banned for a week.

Ignoring moderator warning, and trolling.

Dr_Phil

snuggles285 wrote: »

Can women just meet their dream man just like that anywhere

Only when they're sleeping.

High energy

This thread is hilarious. OP I can safely say you will never meet a man who doesn't have at least 1 or several of the entries on your list.

Silverfish

FINAL WARNING:

Any more 'After Hours' responses or sneering at the OP will result in bans.

If you don't have anything to add to the topic, please just move on. Thanks.

starlit

krudler wrote: »

Yup, pretty much, next time you're out, as an experiment, go for a guy who wouldnt normally be "your type", you could be amazed at how well it can turn out..

I be only too happy to do that but all the guys that I see been out the last few times in my local have been well men over 40, attached, very few young guys my age. Poor crowd the last few times I been out there. Not mobbed by any means and the talent is as bad as a dogs's wet nose!
If only I were in dublin or cork I be a little bit more open maybe....was a little off putting towards guys over the summer maybe...just something told me not to dance with them....

I'll try next time...might be new years!

fifomania

I agree, it's ridiculously hard to meet any nice men, especially when the Irish social scene consists mostly of pubs and clubs! I also find that it is really so much harder to meet men in the city, sounds crazy I know, but in smaller towns in Ireland there is less choice so people mingle in smaller circles and perhaps settle. Or at least that's how it's been with most of my friends around the country!

starlit

High energy wrote: »

This thread is hilarious. OP I can safely say you will never meet a man who doesn't have at least 1 or several of the entries on your list.

I can understand that but seriously would you want to be with someone who has dirty hands/smelly feet! I don't think sooo! Be realistic!:rolleyes:

longhalloween

Dirty hands
Baldy
Short height, needs to be taller than me not just an inch or two but at least more than 6 inches taller than me! I’ve nearly always fancied taller men!
Inconsiderate jokes
Bad breath
Horrible teeth
Smelly feet
Side burns
Without a doubt smoking stench
No dress sense
No common sense acts like a child
Know it all
Gods gift
Full of oneself
Splashes the cash
Boaster
Lies and makes up stories
Wears Jewellery
Overly religious
Not ambitious
No motivation
Not willing to travel too much of a home bird
Not house trained
Poor conversationalist
Control freak
Poor education/no job
Has kids (I know harsh…I just can’t be with someone who has gone through that already, I want to have kids with someone who hasn’t had one)
Has emotional baggage/too needy!

WHAT. THE. HELL???

snuggles285 wrote: »

I can understand that but seriously would you want to be with someone who has dirty hands/smelly feet! I don't think sooo! Be realistic!:rolleyes:

I think its you that needs the reality check! :rolleyes:

starlit

fifomania wrote: »

I agree, it's ridiculously hard to meet any nice men, especially when the Irish social scene consists mostly of pubs and clubs! I also find that it is really so much harder to meet men in the city, sounds crazy I know, but in smaller towns in Ireland there is less choice so people mingle in smaller circles and perhaps settle. Or at least that's how it's been with most of my friends around the country!

I'm from the country, head out in the nearest towns and have lived in the city. Totally different social life scenes! I'm not sure, thought more choice might be easier to find someone!?

krudler

snuggles285 wrote: »

I be only too happy to do that but all the guys that I see been out the last few times in my local have been well men over 40, attached, very few young guys my age. Poor crowd the last few times I been out there. Not mobbed by any means and the talent is as bad as a dogs's wet nose!
If only I were in dublin or cork I be a little bit more open maybe....was a little off putting towards guys over the summer maybe...just something told me not to dance with them....

I'll try next time...might be new years!

go somewhere else then? do you live in a town with just one pub? maybe try the internet dating thing?

starlit

krudler wrote: »

go somewhere else then? do you live in a town with just one pub? maybe try the internet dating thing?

I've asked my friends to change where we go but they said its just a poor small crowd cause of christmas coming up!? Tried the internet dating thing....didn't work out!:(

fifomania

snuggles285 wrote: »

I'm not sure, thought more choice might be easier to find someone!?

It might to some people but honestly not to me, it's like in the city there is too much choice so men don't seem to make the effort or think there will always be someone else around the corner whereas in the country there is a limited supply of people! If ya get me!

starlit

fifomania wrote: »

It might to some people but honestly not to me, it's like in the city there is too much choice so men don't seem to make the effort or think there will always be someone else around the corner whereas in the country there is a limited supply of people! If ya get me!

Ya I get ya!

krudler

fifomania wrote: »

It might to some people but honestly not to me, it's like in the city there is too much choice so men don't seem to make the effort or think there will always be someone else around the corner whereas in the country there is a limited supply of people! If ya get me!

Well yeah but dont settle, I'd hate to think I was someones "ah sure theres nobody else around you'll do i suppose". Massively high standards are bad, but you still gotta have standards.

fifomania

I've been single for a year and a half after a four year relationship and at first I was so happy to be free and do my own thing but now it's just boring and I miss the closeness and familiarity of being with someone! To make things worse I'm living with girls who are in relationships so it's all I hear lately and they rub it in my nose alot but try to be jokey about it and it's like a kick in the stomach! to say stop looking and you will meet someone isn't at all helpful either! I get ya snuggles, it isn't easy!

fifomania

krudler wrote: »

Well yeah but dont settle, I'd hate to think I was someones "ah sure theres nobody else around you'll do i suppose". Massively high standards are bad, but you still gotta have standards.

I totally agree, i wouldn't want to settle but most of my friends have settled because they've hit the 30 - 35 mark and are in a small circle of people and it suits them

Stheno

krudler wrote: »

think you've hit the reason why you've been single for 4 years right there. thats a list of contradictory stuff you've got there, a provider but not rich, funny but not a joker? romantic but not too romantic? good looking but not too good looking or average? jesus..high maintenance is the first thing that comes to mind. for laughs, next time you meet a guy read off that list as to what you go for in men, then try find him in the cloud of dust he leaves in his wake.

+1 OP you really come across as far too ready to strike a guy off for fairly trivial things in a lot of ways.

And secondly any suggestions you've been given by people for meeting new people you just brush aside???

Get out more, broaden your horizons beyond the local pub and stop referring to guys as

the talent is as bad as a dogs's wet nose

Frankly, as a woman I find your attitude depressing and insulting to men. You appear to be completely obsessed with the superficial, and whilst one will judge someone intially on physical appearance etc, I don't think a single bloke would pass the long list of objections you have!

ricman

Its hard for a man to go up to a woman whens shes in a pub with 2 or 3 friends and chat her up, without looking like a stalker.
TRY going to new places, alot of people meet thru online dating at least you can specify your interests arts,books,music etc, it lowers the odds abit.
90 per cent of men you meet, may be boring,idiots,etc so you have to be ready when you meet somebody nice.
AS woody allen says 50 per cent of life is just showing up.
a man could post here, and say i just meet boring,materialistic , insert human weakness here,
wheres all the good single women gone?
you could google wheres all the good single men gone, i think women have been saying that for the last 50 years,since arranged marriage fell out of fashion.
Maybe married people can post here,
where did you meet your spouse etc.
Maybe theres loads of women out there, they married person x, they lowered their standards abit.