Dental plan!

EagererBeaver

He can talk, he can talk, he can talk, he can talk...

I CAN SIIIIIIING!

Peregrine

EagererBeaver wrote: »

He can talk, he can talk, he can talk, he can talk...

I CAN SIIIIIIING!

Oh, help me, Dr. Zaius!

Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!

Peregrine

The only danger is if they send us to that terrible planet of the apes. Wait a minute... statue of liberty... that was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!

SanPel2016

Would you lasso me a banana?
Now how the hell would I do that?

Riddle101

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4bbocBQ_0s

Fuzzytrooper

Peregrine wrote: »

Oh, help me, Dr. Zaius!

Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!

What's wrong with me?

corblimey

Lt.Smash: It's a three-pronged attack. Subliminal, liminal, and superliminal.
Lisa: Superliminal?
Lt.Smash: I'll show you. (opens the window, and shouts at Lenny and Carl) Hey, you! Join the Navy!
Carl: Uh, yeah, all right.
Lenny: I'm in.

suicide_circus

Ralphie! Get off the stage, sweetheart.

HalloweenJack

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqEAwuGFb_M

Beanntraigheach

More testicles means more iron!

corblimey

Ms.Hoover: Lisa, what nineteenth-century figure was named 'Old Hickory'?
Lisa: I don't know. You?
Ms.Hoover: Lisa, if you'd bothered to do the assignment, you'd know the answer is... (flips to answers) The Battle of New Orleans. I mean... Andrew Jackson.
Lisa: Well, you're earning your eighteen grand a year.

paddylonglegs

Abe: Eber shee a shambidge tha could tay a bihe ouh of you?
Customer: Ah, damn sandwich took a bit out of me!

Rawr

Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.

Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.

Marge: That's not what I meant.

Homer: It was, Marge. Admit it.

corblimey

Rev. Lovejoy: No, but He was working in the hearts of your friends and neighbors when they came to your aid, be they (points to Ned) Christian, (Krusty) Jew, or (Apu) ... miscellaneous.
Apu: Hindu! There are 700 million of us.
Rev. Lovejoy: Aw, that's super.

Comic Book Guy

Ned: Well, Homer, what a pleasant.....
Homer: Can't talk now, Flanders. I've got a class to teach.
Ned: Heh, but you rang my.....

razorblunt

What part of 'Diddy Mao' did you not understand?

corblimey

Ned: Well, I really enjoyed my time here, Superintendent. May the Lord bless and keep you.
Chalmers: Yeah, take it outside, God-boy.

corblimey

Lisa: But I urge that guilty person here, under the eyes of God, to come forward -- to confess, and save yourself from the torment of your own personal hell!
Skinner: Aah! I smelled some marijuana smoke in Vietnam!
Abe: I was the one who canceled "Star Trek"!
Hibbert: I left my Porsche keys inside Mrs. Glick!

Comic Book Guy

Its not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in 8 hours of TV a day.

budgie412

You don't win friends with salad!

Rawr

Bart: I must warn you that once this next tape starts, it will not stop. Because that button is broken.

Milhouse: Let's watch.

[the tape starts. It's a black-and-white tape of a defense briefing. A general sits at a desk]

General: If you're watching this tape, you are the President of the United States. Hello, sir, or ma'am. Hopefully sir.

Bart: Got that right. [high-fives Milhouse]

General: [walks to a map of Springfield] Springfield has been classified "NWB," for "Nuclear Whipping Boy." In the first moments of a nuclear war, Springfield will be bombed at will by all friendly nations to calibrate their missiles.

[audience cheers wildly]

General: Now for total security, I will terminate the cameraman. [pulls a pistol, and shoots the cameraman]

Cameraman: Argh! Thanks a lot, Steve!

[falls out of camera range]
[audience laughs]

iLikeWaffles

Homer there's a man here that thinks he can help you.

Batman?!

No, He's a scientist.

Batman's a scientist.

It's not Batman!

Riddle101

Bart: Hello Mr...... Kurns. I bad want money now. Me sick.
Homer: Oh, he card read good.
Bart: So pick please me, Mr Burns.
Homer: It's Kurns stupid!
Marge: No it's not!

P.Walnuts

Riddle101 wrote: »

Bart: Hello Mr...... Kurns. I bad want money now. Me sick.
Homer: Oh, he card read good.
Bart: So pick please me, Mr Burns.
Homer: It's Kurns stupid!
Marge: No it's not!

Disregard

corblimey

Homer: Moe! What are you doing here?
Moe: I, er, well, I -- I never touched her, Homer. Homer, I swear I never touched her!
Marge: Here's your water, Moe.
Moe: I didn't ask her for no water! She's lying, Homer, she's lying. I -- she told me you were dead, that's the only reason I -- I didn't do nothing! (runs out through kitchen window)
Homer: Bye Moe...

paddylonglegs

Next up, E.T phone Homer....... Simpson that is

It looks like it was a close encounter of the blurred kind

KBrock on point

corblimey

Well, Chief, don't quit your day job, whatever that is.

corblimey

Mostly Madrigals... Yeah, that might be good. Ooh, ooh, An Evening with Philip Glass. (overacting) Just an evening? Voices of the Elderly Poor. Hmmm...

Glenster

There's no such thing as Scotchtoberfest!

Ya used me Skinner, YA USED ME!

XR3i

i'm arthur brakin one of my flase teeth, the root nerve is exposed, help