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Dental plan!

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    #8222
    wnolan1992
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 14,009 Mod ✭✭✭✭wnolan1992


    XR3i wrote: »
    i'm arthur brakin one of my flase teeth, the root nerve is exposed, help

    Put the tooth in a plastic tub filled with Coke. Apply a light electric shock to it.

    It won't help your pain, but watching the little town grow might distract you at least.


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    #8223
    XR3i
    Site Banned Posts: 6,498 ✭✭✭XR3i


    wnolan1992 wrote: »
    Put the tooth in a plastic tub filled with Coke. Apply a light electric shock to it.

    It won't help your pain, but watching the little town grow might distract you at least.

    fnuk off i'm serious


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    #8224
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,834 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    XR3i wrote: »
    fnuk off i'm serious

    Sounds like you have a case of bonus eruptus


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    #8225
    XR3i
    Site Banned Posts: 6,498 ✭✭✭XR3i


    Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »
    Sounds like you have a case of bonus eruptus


    whose your manager; i#m gonna report you for wasting my time


  • Options
    #8226
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,834 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    XR3i wrote: »
    whose your manager; i#m gonna report you for wasting my time

    It appears he's "gone drinkin" sir


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    #8227
    XR3i
    Site Banned Posts: 6,498 ✭✭✭XR3i


    Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »
    It appears he's "gone drinkin" sir


    typical.


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    #8228
    strawdog
    Registered Users Posts: 396 ✭✭strawdog


    [Bill Clinton is playing the saxophone in a marching parade]
    Moe: Hey Clinton, get back to work.
    Bill Clinton: Make me.


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    #8229
    Wise Old Elf
    Moderators Posts: 3,554 ✭✭✭Wise Old Elf


    Chalmers: You're fired
    Skinner: I'm sorry, did... did you just call me a liar?
    Chalmers: No I said you were fired.
    Skinner: Oh...... that's much worse.


  • Options
    #8230
    wnolan1992
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 14,009 Mod ✭✭✭✭wnolan1992


    XR3i wrote: »
    typical.

    The fingers you have used to type, are too fat.
    To order your free typing wand, please smash the keyboard with your palm now.


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    #8231
    EagererBeaver
    Registered Users Posts: 6,415 ✭✭✭EagererBeaver


    wnolan1992 wrote: »
    The fingers you have used to type, are too fat.
    To order your free typing wand, please smash the keyboard with your palm now.

    Mash the keypad*


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    #8232
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    I discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch


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    #8233
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Homer: But how did you find me?
    Marge: Well, I was sure you'd be on foot, because you always say public transportation is for losers. And I was sure you'd head west, because Springfield slopes down that way. And then, I saw the lighthouse, and I remembered how you love blinking lights. Like the one on the waffle iron.
    Homer: Or that little guy on the "Don't Walk" sign.
    ---
    In your face, space coyote!


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    #8234
    Nerdkiller1991
    Registered Users Posts: 3,994 ✭✭✭Nerdkiller1991


    corblimey wrote: »
    In your face, space coyote!
    "Space coyote?"


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    #8235
    SanPel2016
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭SanPel2016


    Lisa takes off a '.' sticker on L.T. Smash's name sign and gasps
    Lisa: Lt. Smash!
    L.T. Smash: Yeah, that's right. Lt. L.T. Smash.


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    #8236
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Edna K.: A surprise party for me? In Principal Skinner's office? Well, I don't know, but...all right.
    Skinner: Me? Go to my office? Well, it's highly irregular, but all right.


  • Options
    #8237
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    Mrs Krabappel: Seymour, the children are playing in the hole again

    Principal Skinner: Uh oh. Two independent thought alarms in one day. The students are overstimulated. Willie! Remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms.

    Groundskeeper Willie: (shouting) I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!


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    #8238
    pumpkin4life
    Registered Users Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭pumpkin4life


    AWWWWW I THOUGHT THE GENERALS WERE DUE!


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    #8239
    pumpkin4life
    Registered Users Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭pumpkin4life


    SEX CAULDRON?????

    I THOUGHT THEY SHUT THAT PLACE DOWN!


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    #8240
    pumpkin4life
    Registered Users Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭pumpkin4life


    IT WASN'T MY FAULT IT WAS THE PERCODAN! THAT STUFF ROTS YOUR BRAIN

    and now a word from our sponsor

    PERCODAN????????


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    #8241
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Ow, my bones are so brittle. But I always drink plenty of... "malk?"

    (now with Vitamin R)


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    #8242
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Soldiers: I don't know, but I've been told
    The Parthenon is mighty old.
    Skinner: How old?
    Men: We don't know.


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    #8243
    tommyhayes1989
    Registered Users Posts: 163 ✭✭tommyhayes1989


    Homer it's about Christian charity.
    What has it got to do with a porn star!


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    #8244
    paddylonglegs
    Registered Users Posts: 3,522 ✭✭✭paddylonglegs


    Just bought a book on Amazon, and it reminded of the sequence when Lisa rents Al Gore's book from the library. It takes on this x-files style sequence from the scanner to a fax machine in the White House

    Assistant (out of breath) : Sir, someone just bought a copy of your new book
    Al Gore (put the needle on a Kool & The Gang's "Celebration" record): Yes, I believe I will


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    #8245
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,775 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Activist: What do we want!?

    Crowd: The gradual phase-out of animal testing over the next three years!!

    Activist: When do we want it?!

    Crowd: Over the next three years!!


  • Options
    #8246
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,775 ✭✭✭Rawr


    corblimey wrote: »
    Soldiers: I don't know, but I've been told
    The Parthenon is mighty old.
    Skinner: How old?
    Men: We don't know.

    Skinner: Well that's real good, but it needs improvement.


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    #8247
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,834 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    We should have lunch. You like Thai?
    Tie good. You like shirt?


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    #8248
    ShooterSF
    Registered Users Posts: 8,824 ✭✭✭ShooterSF


    A friend sent me a photo of my doppelganger that's working in his nightclub. He was confused when I replied, "Why am I Mr. Sparkle".




    Sorry that should say, ex-friend :D


  • Options
    #8249
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,834 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    ShooterSF wrote: »
    A friend sent me a photo of my doppelganger that's working in his nightclub. He was confused when I replied, "Why am I Mr. Sparkle".




    Sorry that should say, ex-friend :D

    You like a-Mr.Sparkle? I send you premium, answer question, hundred per cent!


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    #8250
    iLikeWaffles
    Registered Users Posts: 4,325 ✭✭✭iLikeWaffles


    ef - er - e -one - is - tall - GAME - um - Pal -ray -dee- ale - Eh - Tim - mean - N - Y'ALL?


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    #8251
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
    ---
    Radio: Seventeen.
    Homer: D'oh!
    Radio: Thirty-two.
    Homer: D'oh!
    Radio: Five.
    Homer: D'oh!
    Radio: Eight.
    Homer: Woo-hoo!
    Radio: Forty-seven.
    Homer: D'oh!


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