Dental plan!

Riddle101

Gloria S:Johnny-boy hasn't been able to cut it, man-wise, for some time, not that I'd want stench of gin and sour defeat pressed against me.
John S:That's enough, Gloria!
Reverend Lovejoy:John, why don't you speak?
John S:She never cooks, she doesn't keep a clean house, she smokes and she drinks and she talks profanely! She's the queen of the harpies!
Gloria S:No, I'm not.
John S: QUEEN OF THE HARPIES!
Gloria S:No, I'm not!
John S:Here's your crown, Your Majesty. Queen of the harpies!
Gloria S:Get away from me, you swine!

corblimey

Advisor: Congratulations, Mr. Burns, the polls show you are up six points.
Mr.Burns: Ah, giving me a total of...?
Advisor: Six.

paddylonglegs

Maud,eh?

corblimey

Spud: That Homer fella grifted you good, Dad.
Cooder: Well, there's no shame in being beaten by the best.
Spud: But he didn't seem all that-
Cooder: (angrily) We were beaten by the best, boy.

EagererBeaver

corblimey wrote: »

Spud: That Homer fella grifted you good, Dad.
Cooder: Well, there's no shame in being beaten by the best.
Spud: But he didn't seem all that-
Cooder: (angrily) We were beaten by the best, boy.

He's Bart.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

I believe it was a boking accident.

iLikeWaffles

Shake harder boy

paddylonglegs

EagererBeaver wrote: »

He's Bart.

It's a ring toss game

Realt Dearg Sec

What?! What-what-what-what-whaaat? This better be about pizza!

iLikeWaffles

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.

dan1895

BUT TAKE HER FOR A TEST DRIVE

AND YOU'LL AGREE... ZAGREB EBNOM ZLOTDIK DIEV.

Skylinehead

dan1895 wrote: »

BUT TAKE HER FOR A TEST DRIVE

AND YOU'LL AGREE... ZAGREB EBNOM ZLOTDIK DIEV.

She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene!

reap-a-rat

Skylinehead wrote: »

She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene!

PUT IT IN H!

Skylinehead

reap-a-rat wrote: »

PUT IT IN H!

What country is this car from?

Eet....no longer exeests.

corblimey

It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

iLikeWaffles

My eyes the Goggles do nothing.

budgie412

Homer: I need your phone book for Hokkaido, Japan please
Librarian: Here you go, Hokkaido Japan
H: Can I use your phone please?
L: Is it a local call?
H: Uhhh.....yes....

corblimey

You have selected... POWER DRIVE!

strawdog

Groundskeeper Willie: When you're alone and life is getting you lonely, you can always go, ACH! Doon Toon!"

Riddle101

"A caller at this hour? You dial 9 1, then when I say so dial 1 again"

"You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanize my tires, post haste."

corblimey

Rex Banner: Are you the beer baron??
Ned: Well, if you're talking about root beer, I plead guilt-diddily-ildly as char-didily-arged!
Banner: He's not the baron, but he sounds drunk. Take him in.

Galway K9

When I was seventeen, I drank some very good beer, I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake ID. My name was Brian McGee, I stayed up listenin' to Queen When I was seventeen.

Comic Book Guy

Lisa: it's awful being a kid. No one listens to you.

Grandpa: it's rotten being old. No one listens to you.

Homer: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.

Wise Old Elf

^^^
Nuts n gum, together at last!

Ulysses Gaze

“Gotta build fast, cement drying! Oh, English side ruined! Must use French instructions! Le Grille? What the hell is that?!”

Melisandre121

"He's grooming me. "

Nerdkiller1991

Melisandre121 wrote: »

"He's grooming me. "

"Mmmm. Elephant fresh."

EagererBeaver

...and some animals, like people, are just jerks. Stop that, Mr. Simpson.

corblimey

Marge: Doesn't the Bible say, "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me"?
Homer: Yes, but doesn't the Bible also say "Thou shalt not take... moochers into thy... hut"?

fullstop

She'll do 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene

PUT IT IN H!