Dental plan!

EagererBeaver

Milpool

Kilkenny14

[font=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Welcome Thrillho[/font]

corblimey

Now, you can either have the washer and dryer where the lovely Smithers is standing, or you can trade it all in for what's in this box.

EagererBeaver

corblimey wrote: »

Now, you can either have the washer and dryer where the lovely Smithers is standing, or you can trade it all in for what's in this box.

The box, THE BOX!

corblimey

Good night, and keep watching the skis. Uh, 'skies'.

EagererBeaver

It's 11 o'clock. Do you know where your children are?

I told you last night, no!

Comic Book Guy

I'm pedalling backwards

budgie412

EagererBeaver wrote: »

It's 11 o'clock. Do you know where you're children are?

I told you last night, no!

Where is Bart anyway? His dinner's getting all cold and eaten

corblimey

Marge: Maybe a part-time job is the answer.
Bart: Oh, Mom, I couldn't ask you to do that. You're already taking care of Maggie and Lisa is such a handful.
Lisa: She means you should get a job, stupid!
Bart: (Daniel Stern's voice, a la Wonder Years) Me? Get a job? Were they serious? I didn't realize it at the time, but a little piece of my childhood had slipped away, forever.
Homer: Bart! What are you staring at?
Bart: Uh, nothing. (Daniel Stern) He didn't say it, and neither did I, but at that moment, my dad and I were closer than we-
Homer: Bart! Stop it!

faceman

Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together.

Ulysses Gaze

Lisa: But it’s not fair. Adults always blame kids for everything.

Homer: Well if kids are so innocent why is every bad named after them? “Acting childish.” “Kidnapping.” “Child abuse.”

Bart: What about adultery?

Homer: Not until you’re older, son.

corblimey

Announcer: Welcome back to the final day of this, the 23rd Olympiad, brought to you by Krusty Burger.
Krusty: You people are pigs! (sobs) I personally am gonna spit in every 50th burger.
Homer: I like those odds.

Comic Book Guy

corblimey wrote: »

Announcer: Welcome back to the final day of this, the 23rd Olympiad, brought to you by Krusty Burger.
Krusty: You people are pigs! (sobs) I personally am gonna spit in every 50th burger.
Homer: I like those odds.

Carl Lewis I could kiss you!

corblimey

The father of the deposed beauty queen, Homer Simpson, filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under 'do not write in this space' he wrote "OK."

letsseehere14

Remember you can't spell relaxo without relax.

fancy pigeon

"This comic you sold me isn't fantastic four, it's fantastic floor"

Ulysses Gaze

Marge: Homer, you didn't tell me Mr. Burns went broke and lost the nuclear power plant!

Homer: Now I can't remember every little thing that happens in my day.

Marge: You told me about that candy bar you found three times.

Bart: You found a candy bar?

Homer: Oh yes. Gather around, my son, and I shall tell you a tale.

_______________________________________________________

[When Homer collapses after Lisa tears up the check and ends up in the hospital]

Dr. Hibbert: (laughs) Well, that's the first case I've ever seen of a man suffering four simultaneous heart attacks.

Lisa: I'm sorry, Dad.

Homer: It's all right. I understand. But we really could've used that $12,000.

Lisa: (uncomfortably) Um, Dad, 10% of $120 million isn't $12,000... it's...

(cut to outside the ward)

Hospital Loudspeaker: Code Blue! Code Blue!

corblimey

Bart, you're just like Chilly, the elf who cannot love.

iLikeWaffles

It takes two to lie - One to lie and one to listen.

corblimey

Homer: I just feel terrible about getting Mr. Smithers fired. That job was all he had. Imagine how you'd feel Marge if you got fired from the... those... things that... you do.
Bart: Quick Mom, whip up a cake before Dad fires ya!

Peregrine

Can't sleep; clown will eat me.
Can't sleep; clown will eat me.

corblimey

20 years ago, we were all wondering Who Shot Mr Burns.

Hibbert: Well, I couldn't possibly solve this mystery. Can...you? (points at camera. Camera pulls back to reveal that he's pointing at Wiggum)
Wiggum: Yeah, I'll give it a shot, I mean, you know, it's my job, right?

Realt Dearg Sec

corblimey wrote: »

20 years ago, we were all wondering Who Shot Mr Burns.

Then we found out it was the baby...

*cough*

ohnonotgmail

Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »

Then we found out it was the baby...

*cough*

jeez, spoiler alert.

corblimey

Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »

Then we found out it was the baby...

*cough*

Burns: Officer: arrest the baby!
Wiggum: Hah. Yeah, right, pops. No jury in the world's going to convict a baby. Mmm...maybe Texas.

corblimey

Marge: He's an awful, awful, awful man! I guess if he makes Mom happy, that's all that really matters.
Homer: That's right, money. Your money's happiness is all that moneys.

Riddle101

"I'd like to play me latest chart-topper. It's called "Me Fans Are Stupid Pigs"

EagererBeaver

How many roads must a man walk down / Before you can call him a man...

Seven!

No, dad, it's a rhetorical question.

OK, eight!

Someone else can finish it off...

corblimey

Professor Frink, professor Frink
He'll make you laugh
He'll make you think
He likes to run and then the thing with the ...person
Oh, boy, that monkey is going to pay.

budgie412

Give me all of your balloons! I hope this works...These are for you if you let me use your cherry picker.

Well, I already have some balloons, but they're not this nice. Deal!