Those 'Oh God, I'm an Idiot' moments.

uncle-mofo

Random person: Hi,
Me: I'm fine, and yourself?

Happens me on a regular basis.

humberklog

Oh idiots I'm a God?
oh hang on...oh God I'm such an idiot?...

we'llallhavetea_old

jellybeans wrote: »

I was having dinner with a fella once who asked the waiter what veel was, the waiter replied it's deer and the fella replies I didn't ask you how much it is....gas

er.. veal is not deer... venison is.

jackiebaron

MrStuffins wrote: »

As if Drink Driving was safer in the 70s or something!

"It was only around the corner" is of no consolation to the people mown down and killed by people who have been killed by idiots using this very excuse.

Sorry for being all serious in AH, but this comment kinda riled me!

I don't think he's condoning drink driving. Lighten up FFS! In the 70's lots of things were done which are frowned upon or are downright illegal today like smoking just about everywhere (including in a hospital bed), shagging a stranger without a condom, not wearing a seatbelt, etc., etc.

jackiebaron

Had to get my sperm tested and had a little plastic container to hold it in.
Basically I had to **** off and shoot my load into this little cup and get it to the clinic. I didn't want to be handing a cum filled container to the girl at the counter with other people sitting around in the reception area so I needed a paper bag to put the container into. No problem...on the way to the clinic I popped into a deli and asked for a paper bag. Girl gave me one.
I get to the clinic and hand over container inside paper bag...only to then observe that the plain paper bag from the deli also had "Bon Appetit" printed on it.
Jaysus!

phill106

jackiebaron wrote: »

Had to get my sperm tested and had a little plastic container to hold it in.
Basically I had to **** off and shoot my load into this little cup and get it to the clinic. I didn't want to be handing a cum filled container to the girl at the counter with other people sitting around in the reception area so I needed a paper bag to put the container into. No problem...on the way to the clinic I popped into a deli and asked for a paper bag. Girl gave me one.
I get to the clinic and hand over container inside paper bag...only to then observe that the plain paper bag from the deli also had "Bon Appetit" printed on it.
Jaysus!

Wouldn't want to mix it up with her lunch. " This mayo tastes off" thought the receptionist...

Sykk

Moved into a new house there a few weeks ago, on my way out the door I done the ol' 0#7 to set the alarm. Then realized I had absolutely no idea what the code to turn it off was..

Guill

Local Landlord had gout when i was bout 12.

I asked my mother how he got it.
She said it was from eating so much rich food.
Wow i thought, he must be loaded!
For years i was convinced that poor people didn't geet gout, only rich folk.
How embarrassing when i tried to explain this as fact on night in a pub a few years ago......

rickyjb

Went to Aldi to get some things, maybe 30 quids worth of stuff. Went through the checkout, threw the stuff into the trolley then sorted it into 2 of the boxes they leave out, had them both in the trolley. Brought the trolley outside to get my 2 quid back, jumped in the car and got home. Maybe a 10-15 minute drive in moderate traffic. Got into the underground car park, jumped out and opened the back door of the car to get the boxes of groceries, wait a minute... doh!!

Left the 2 boxes in the trolley when I put it back, not very clever:o

Standman

Sam Vimes wrote: »

Just now I was reading a sheet of paper looking for a specific piece of information on it and just for a second I wanted to hit CTRL+F and search it.

I know this feeling, like when you've been playing some in depth computer game for a few days and then when you go outside you get this niggling feeling to save your progress.

RedXIV

When I was doing a maths test in 2nd year, I would have been around 13, I caught myself loudly humming the simpson's theme tune.

Slowly looked up to see most of the class looking at the corner I was sitting in, including the teacher so tried to copy them by looking at the guy beside me in fake disbelief BUT I knew if I stopped humming they would know it was me so I just tried to make it quieter until he looked up at me.

Busted

BigDuffman

Just about 2 mins ago...typing away, phone rings, go to scroll up the page and my screen starts going mental. Try click into a text box and the cursor flys across the screen. Call in the IT guy who was in the office. He leans in to take a look.. I lent back to let him see the screen only to realize that my folder was jammed down on the spacebar on the keyboard.

Redface.

Kurumba

Couple of years ago i was in the kitchen in work, picked up a copy of the Metro Herald and had a look at the front page. There was a story about how they were moving the spire to Las Vegas, i didn't read too much into it, just thought in passing how it sounded a bit odd.

Anyway off i went home that night and said to my other half ' hey did you hear that they're moving the spire on O'Connell street to the strip in Las Vegas, that's mad isn't it? Wonder how they did it, did they take it apart bit by bit like the ballymun flats or what, cant figure out how they'd get it over there', i says all baffled.

He looks at me in disbelief and says ' you do know what day it is don't you, i said yeh April Fools day' , took a minute but the penny dropped

turnsoutIwas

jellybeans wrote: »

I was having dinner with a fella once who asked the waiter what veel was, the waiter replied it's deer and the fella replies I didn't ask you how much it is....gas

Veal is Tortured Baby Cow.
Venison is Deer.
Maybe the waiter meant it was expensive. Anyway on topic...

Whenever I cant find my phone I ring it from another phone. Once I find it I hang up and every single time I look at it and think Oh a missed call...

jellybeans

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

er.. veal is not deer... venison is.

Ha ok sorry it was venison (:o) lol