Those 'Oh God, I'm an Idiot' moments.

brummytom

You know the ones I mean, where you end up thinking "I can't believe I've just done that".

What ones of your own can you remember?


Obviously I have to add my own:

Yesterday, I was dragged down to Bristol by my mate to audition for an E4 show, 'Skins'. After a few hours travelling (with an annoying delay); we got down to Bristol station.

Now we knew what bus to get, we just didn't know where to get it from. We walked left out of the station towards the main road and looked at a few of the bus stops. None of them, however, had the number bus that we needed.

So we cross the road to the other side to see if it's there. Nope. Not there. But there was a board with a map of all the bus stops in the area and what buses stopped there. Finally, we found the one we needed. We were on Temple Gate Road, Near Clarence Rd and needed to get to Approach Rd.

We looked everywhere for this road, but just couldn't find it. Eventually, we ended up about a mile away at a petrol station. "Ask in here where it is, he'll know". Going up to the counter, we asked the man behind where this road was. "Approach Rd? I'll have a look" he said, in a thick farmer accent.

He spent 10 minutes scouring the A-Z, but alas, had no look. It wasn't there.
"Where do you need to get to?" he asked.

"Bristol Grammar School, I think it's a fair way from here" my mate replied.
He told us that further down the road, opposite the train station was a row of bus stops that would have our bus on. We knew there wasn't, because we'd already been there, but we said thank you and left.

We got back to where we started at the map. "I don't get where this Approach Road is" I said. I think at that point, both my mate and I realised we'd been completely stupid. "It's not a road name, it's an instruction isn't it?" We eventually found the bus stop - it was within yards of the train station, and we'd completely walked past it.


Anyway, that was a long story for nothing. I'm sure you can do better

xzanti

I once called my boyfriend in a panic, pulled over on the hard shoulder of the M50 convinced my car was on fire...

Turns out it was just steam rising off the bonet from the rain.. Doh

enda1

tl:dr?

Instruction: "Press Any Key"

Tom: "Where's the Any Key???"

The Saint

brummytom wrote: »

You know the ones I mean, where you end up thinking "I can't believe I've just done that".

What ones of your own can you remember?


Obviously I have to add my own:

Yesterday, I was dragged down to Bristol by my mate to audition for an E4 show, 'Skins'. After a few hours travelling (with an annoying delay); we got down to Bristol station.

Blah Blah Blah........

No one cares about your little getting lost story. Tell us if you got the part? Did you make an arse of yourself during the auditions? Did you have to finger a girl in front of the judges (I know what sort of a depraved dirty show that 'Skins' is)?

Corruptedmorals

The most recent one would have to be while on the tills in work, shouting at the queue 'do you have a clubcard?' instead of 'next please'. Oh god the embarrassment, the queue was really long and there was loads of people and managers on tills ughh..

Whispered

When my OH joined boards he wanted to know who sticky was and why he was posting everywhere. :rolleyes::o

Sanjuro

Was chopping an onion on Friday. Friend tripped up in front of me. I laughed, then sliced open my thumb. It bled for 25 minutes.

we'llallhavetea_old

well i kinda twigged where that story was going when i read "approach road"

i was driving to work one night and realised the boot was open, pulled in, kinda scared, very dark etc. so i jumped out slammed the boot shut and leapt back into the car, trapped my hair in the door (fairly close to the root) and tore off like a fcuking maniac with my head jammed against the window.

it took me a minute to compose myself and unleash the hair...

gaz wac

I was telling people in work this morning about the top 5 Youtube clips that were shown on Rudetube last night;

" great clip of a bloke who lost his arm to a tiger" !!

" no way,what the name of the site"

"Redtube" :eek:

totally sent them to the wrong site *



* btw i dont look at redtube, it was for a college project !

Fago!

I made a bowl of cheerios and when I sat down on the couch, realised I made them in a cup.

Couple of weeks ago I tried to thank a post but couldn't see the button. I was trying to figure out why I couldn't thank that post, then realised that I had posted it 5 minutes before.

I intended on walking to town (I live in Pearse Street) but for some reason in my daydreaming state, I walked the opposite way from town. An hour after walking, I kinda woke up from my daydream and ended up in Dun Laoghaire.

An hour into playing GTA 4 I realise I was originally meant to put in a Metallica DVD, not a game.

I made a cup of tea, then put the teabag in the sink and the spoon in the bin. D'oh!

admiralofthefleet

brummytom wrote: »

You know the ones I mean, where you end up thinking "I can't believe I've just done that".

What ones of your own can you remember?


Obviously I have to add my own:

Yesterday, I was dragged down to Bristol by my mate to audition for an E4 show, 'Skins'. After a few hours travelling (with an annoying delay); we got down to Bristol station.

Now we knew what bus to get, we just didn't know where to get it from. We walked left out of the station towards the main road and looked at a few of the bus stops. None of them, however, had the number bus that we needed.

So we cross the road to the other side to see if it's there. Nope. Not there. But there was a board with a map of all the bus stops in the area and what buses stopped there. Finally, we found the one we needed. We were on Temple Gate Road, Near Clarence Rd and needed to get to Approach Rd.

We looked everywhere for this road, but just couldn't find it. Eventually, we ended up about a mile away at a petrol station. "Ask in here where it is, he'll know". Going up to the counter, we asked the man behind where this road was. "Approach Rd? I'll have a look" he said, in a thick farmer accent.

He spent 10 minutes scouring the A-Z, but alas, had no look. It wasn't there.
"Where do you need to get to?" he asked.

"Bristol Grammar School, I think it's a fair way from here" my mate replied.
He told us that further down the road, opposite the train station was a row of bus stops that would have our bus on. We knew there wasn't, because we'd already been there, but we said thank you and left.

We got back to where we started at the map. "I don't get where this Approach Road is" I said. I think at that point, both my mate and I realised we'd been completely stupid. "It's not a road name, it's an instruction isn't it?" We eventually found the bus stop - it was within yards of the train station, and we'd completely walked past it.


Anyway, that was a long story for nothing. I'm sure you can do better

did you get a ride off effy?

karlm37

Don't know how many times I've been having a smoke, my phone rings, I take the phone outta my pocket, put the smoke in my ear and say 'Hello'!!:o

bonerm

Fago! wrote: »

I made a bowl of cheerios and when I sat down on the couch, realised I made them in a cup.

Couple of weeks ago I tried to thank a post but couldn't see the button. I was trying to figure out why I couldn't thank that post, then realised that I had posted it 5 minutes before.

I intended on walking to town (I live in Pearse Street) but for some reason in my daydreaming state, I walked the opposite way from town. An hour after walking, I kinda woke up from my daydream and ended up in Dun Laoghaire.

An hour into playing GTA 4 I realise I was originally meant to put in a Metallica DVD, not a game.

I'm pretty sure you qualify as a danger to yourself ... and possibly society.

ribbongirl

Donated a pair of curtains to the homeless!



......not as bad as my friend giving money to a homeless person and saying "safe home."

Fago!

bonerm wrote: »

I'm pretty sure you qualify as a danger to yourself ... and possibly society.

Don't I know it. :pac:

GavRedKing

Woke up one night in December at about 3:10 AM and mis-read my phone and though it said 8:10 AM, was getting dressed and about to head off downstairs to head to work when my sister informed me what time it was. .

/ Facepalm

NothingMan

Fago! wrote: »

I intended on walking to town (I live in Pearse Street) but for some reason in my daydreaming state, I walked the opposite way from town. An hour after walking, I kinda woke up from my daydream and ended up in Dun Laoghaire.

Sorry, but I have to call bollocks on this Fago!, Unless you were day dreaming on a 10KM/H run but that would just be dangerous. :P

Dunjohn

Speaking of GTA4, I've had to stop playing that until I pass my driving test. I was out doing corner reverses one night with my Dad, and we were were starting to head home when he said, "Okay, that went alright, but why are you driving on the wrong side of the road?"

Just this morning I've realised that I got the wrong CD to go with my teaching book. The CDs cost €50 each and I've had it two weeks now.

ejmaztec

xzanti wrote: »

I once called my boyfriend in a panic, pulled over on the hard shoulder of the M50 convinced my car was on fire...

Turns out it was just steam rising off the bonet from the rain.. Doh

I was driving down the Tralee road half-asleep one morning, and had to slow down after coming out of a bend. There was a car in front of me doing about 30mph, and it was completely engulfed in flames, the fire roaring out through the windows.

I followed it for a couple of minutes, as if giving the driver a chance to pull in, before coming to my senses. "How the fuck would there be a driver in that, you stupid twat?" I said to myself.:o

I decided to overtake it and give it a wide berth, then spotted an oil tanker delivering oil to a bungalow further along. I just hoofed it and kept looking in the rearview mirror to see where the burning car was heading to. It eventually rolled into a garden wall and stopped, thankfully on the opposite side to the tanker.

I later found out that it had gone up in flames when the driver was in it, and that she'd kicked it into gear when she made her escape. It was strange that it travelled in a straight line for such a long time with no-one steering it.:eek:

sam34

there was a thread in tLL recently about the seemingly huge number of women that are pregnant these days

someone posted "i know at least 13 women who are having 2010 babies"

when i read that, i thought they meant 13 women were having 2010 babies between them, and i started trying to mentally divide 2010 by 13 to see how many babies each woman would be having..... then i realised the op meant she knew 13 women who were having babies in 2010

i needed to lie down in a darkened room after that...

Fago!

sam34 wrote: »

there was a thread in tLL recently about the seemingly huge number of women that are pregnant these days

someone posted "i know at least 13 women who are having 2010 babies"

when i read that, i thought they meant 13 women were having 2010 babies between them, and i started trying to mentally divide 2010 by 13 to see how many babies each woman would be having..... then i realised the op meant she knew 13 women who were having babies in 2010

i needed to lie down in a darkened room after that...

Ha. I laffed

brummytom

The Saint wrote: »

No one cares about your little getting lost story. Tell us if you got the part? Did you make an arse of yourself during the auditions? Did you have to finger a girl in front of the judges (I know what sort of a depraved dirty show that 'Skins' is)?

Naah of course I didn't. Only went down for a laugh.
I didn't get to finger a girl either, unfortunately

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

did you get a ride off effy?

I don't watch Skins so I've no idea who that is... we did meet some bloke who plays 'JJ'? Nice bloke

Kiera

I have these moments all the time. Last weekend:

I went out to my car and it was gone. 2 of my neighbours were there and they're messers so i thought they moved is as they have done with one of the other girls before. But i drive a big car so they wouldnt have been able to lift mine. So here i am searching the carpark asking them where the hell have they put it and they cant stop laughing saying i must have left it somewhere else. *ping* i remembered i'd left it down at my friends on Friday night

bp1989

gavredking wrote: »

Woke up one night in December at about 3:10 AM and mis-read my phone and though it said 8:10 AM, was getting dressed and about to head off downstairs to head to work when my sister informed me what time it was. .

/ Facepalm

Same kind of thing happened to me before. I woke up (and without even checking the time) was suddenly sure it was morning. I got up, dressed, but it was only when I opened my blind and saw it was pitch black out that I looked at my phone and saw it was 4:00am :pac:

MrStuffins

Fago! wrote: »

I made a bowl of cheerios and when I sat down on the couch, realised I made them in a cup.

Couple of weeks ago I tried to thank a post but couldn't see the button. I was trying to figure out why I couldn't thank that post, then realised that I had posted it 5 minutes before.

I intended on walking to town (I live in Pearse Street) but for some reason in my daydreaming state, I walked the opposite way from town. An hour after walking, I kinda woke up from my daydream and ended up in Dun Laoghaire.

An hour into playing GTA 4 I realise I was originally meant to put in a Metallica DVD, not a game.

Without trying to sound hostile, and making an exception for the GTA 4 one...........

... each of these stories is ballocks!


I posted this in another thread a while back.....

I was on the phone to the missus, on my mobile. The conversation was very long and wasnt really about anything, it was just a chat!

During the call i wondered what the time was. I don't wear a watch, i use my phone to tell the time. So i checked my pocket for it.. it wasn't there! It wasn't on the chair! I went to my bedroom, it wasn't there! I said "Oh feck". My girlfriend asks "what's wrong?"

I say "I can't find my phone!"

What makes it worse is that she laughed uncontrolably for 5 minutes before i realised what she was laughing at!

Dr. Baltar

When I was about 16 I had just lost my job and was talking to my cousin who's brother had commited suicide by drowning.
He asked me (on the quay) "So what're you going to do now?"
I jokingly replied (without thinking) "Either find a new job, and if not... there's always a river there"

I think part of me died seconds after that comment.

Another time, I commented to my Dad's friend how I thought the Romanians on the street "were knackers" until I heard them talk.
He looked at me sternly and walked away.

When I asked my Dad about it later, he told me that the guy is married to a traveller.

salad dodger

While driving around town, with my brother and his g/f, looking for parking and finding none I exclaimed (jokingly of course) that 'those disabled people get all the best spaces'!! Completely forgeting that the brother's g/f's own brother had a serious biking accident which has left him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life with only minimum use of one of his hands:eek:!!!

:oIt still make me cringe thinking about it:o:o

gagiteebo

These happened a while ago.......I was a thick child

Decided to pour myself a big glass of ribena, was really thirsty so just attempted to gulp it down...was wondering why it tasted a bit funny....I'd forgotten to dilute it

The first time I made myself a cup of tea I couldn't figure out why the water wasn't turning the lovely golden brown colour it usually did....I hadn't actually put a tea bag into the cup :rolleyes: I really don't know how I made it to 27 years old in one piece

uncleoswald

I was about to give a presentation in college when I looked down at my feet and noticed I was wearing odd shoes. Not even similar, one was red and one was blue. I told the lecturer I hadn't finished my report and took the fail..... I have since done the same thing twice in work.

Once when I was getting ready for work I realised my shirt was downstairs in the dryer, so in the mean time I put my zip top on to hide my embarrassment. It was only when I noticed the breeze on my chest and many an odd look on the bus did I remember my shirt was still in the dryer....

brummytom

Kiera wrote: »

I have these moments all the time. Last weekend:

I went out to my car and it was gone. 2 of my neighbours were there and they're messers so i thought they moved is as they have done with one of the other girls before. But i drive a big car so they wouldnt have been able to lift mine. So here i am searching the carpark asking them where the hell have they put it and they cant stop laughing saying i must have left it somewhere else. *ping* i remembered i'd left it down at my friends on Friday night

Reminds me of a story my mom told me about her uncle:


After an afternoon of drinking, he realised he'd ran out and made his way down to the off-licence in the car (this was the 70s, drink-driving wasn't a deadly sin like it is now; and it was only round the corner). Anyway, he comes out of the off-licence, and as it's a nice evening he decides to leave the car there and walk home. No one else in the house knew any of this, though.

So he drank the rest and fell asleep. Woke up the next morning and screamed. "SOMEONE'S STOLEN THE FUCKING CAR!!". The police were called, and within five minutes had located the car outside the offie. Her uncle had suddenly remembered what had happened; "Ah so the buggers didn't get very far then".

Kiera

brummytom wrote: »

Reminds me of a story my mom told me about her uncle:


After an afternoon of drinking, he realised he'd ran out and made his way down to the off-licence in the car (this was the 70s, drink-driving wasn't a deadly sin like it is now; and it was only round the corner). Anyway, he comes out of the off-licence, and as it's a nice evening he decides to leave the car there and walk home. No one else in the house knew any of this, though.

So he drank the rest and fell asleep. Woke up the next morning and screamed. "SOMEONE'S STOLEN THE FUCKING CAR!!". The police were called, and within five minutes had located the car outside the offie. Her uncle had suddenly remembered what had happened; "Ah so the buggers didn't get very far then".

I was about to call the cops

MrStuffins

brummytom wrote: »

(this was the 70s, drink-driving wasn't a deadly sin like it is now; and it was only round the corner)

As if Drink Driving was safer in the 70s or something!

"It was only around the corner" is of no consolation to the people mown down and killed by people who have been killed by idiots using this very excuse.

Sorry for being all serious in AH, but this comment kinda riled me!

Freyja

It was 2003, and one Sunday afternoon myself and a load of fella's landed into a pub to see the United v Arsenal game.

It was a rural pub with families having dinner and locals in for the game, never been there before and never will be again. We all sat down sorta under the tv and watched the game. There was an elderly couple sat to our left who were having their dinner and were also feeding their mentally and physically handicapped son/grandson.

Being totally outnumbered by United fans, I had taken some stick and abuse and kept my council and said nothing, then Gary Neville having no-one near or beside him turned and kicked the ball out over his own line for a corner kick. The United heads all started saying FFS Neville....why the hell did you do that???

So I answered........just as a hush came over the rest of the pub.........Because he is a f*uking R*tard.............

The silence was deafening.......nobody spoke....heads were hung......then I realised not only what I had said but that the whole pub had heard me. Then the whispering started......then one of the lads started to smile......and some were fighting the fit of the giggles....

I couldn't get up to leave......I remained solemnly rooted to the spot.......even when the Penalty was given and Van Nistelrooy hit the bar.....
The game ended I ran to the door.

soups05

brummytom wrote: »

You know the ones I mean, where you end up thinking "I can't believe I've just done that".

yes,the day after my wedding 19 years later and i cant belive SHE said yes. woman is a saint to put up with me

Joey the lips

gaz wac wrote: »

I was telling people in work this morning about the top 5 Youtube clips that were shown on Rudetube last night;

" great clip of a bloke who lost his arm to a tiger" !!

" no way,what the name of the site"

"Redtube" :eek:

totally sent them to the wrong site *



* btw i dont look at redtube, it was for a college project !

nope... I dont look at redtube either....Its only for educational purposes.;)

Snowie

brizzols cool man i love that town so many drunken nights. waking up in the morning with half a pint of pair cider to finish of and being made to drink more...

what an awesome town...


And the djs night life etc is great brummy tom why didnt you go down st pauls road chicken ?

Hagar

MrStuffins wrote: »

I was on the phone to the missus...I went to my bedroom, it wasn't there! I said "Oh feck". My girlfriend asks "what's wrong?"

Are the missus and the girlfriend on good terms?

MrStuffins

Hagar wrote: »

Are the missus and the girlfriend on good terms?

Dear Hagar

Mrs Stuffins here. Mr Stuffins can't make it to the laptop at the moment due to blood loss.

On a side note, if anyone is interested in buying a pair of testicles, check out my ad on Adverts.ie

Yours sincerely

Mrs Stuffins (soon to be Ms.Stuffins)

Degag

MrStuffins wrote: »

As if Drink Driving was safer in the 70s or something!

"It was only around the corner" is of no consolation to the people mown down and killed by people who have been killed by idiots using this very excuse.

Sorry for being all serious in AH, but this comment kinda riled me!

He wasn't condoning it. That was the perception back then.

Degag

Just remembered one a friend told me. He lived just outside his town and had gone drinking the previous night and had parked his car up. So he walked down town to collect it but couldn't find it. He spent an hour walking around town looking for it before walking home perplexed. Don't know why he didn't go into the police station if he thought it was stolen - Anyway he got home and looked out his kitchen window, turns out he had driven the car home afterall.:rolleyes:

(Yeah, drink driving is wrong yada yada, make a thread about it if you want to complain.)

DazMarz

I remember once, to try and make a friend of mine feel better, I murdered a Japanese delivery boy on a bike... But through a faux pas on my part, he turned out to be Chinese...

Hi, Pat Bateman...:)

Riddle101

I used to spell Metallica, Mettalica, and one day I decided to draw a picture of Metallica Rules on my friends Bebo page, because we had this little thing going at the time. This was 4 or 5 years ago. So I drew Mettalica Rules. It wasn't until someone replied saying it's Metallica that I realised how big of an idiot i've been, and i've been listening to them for about 8 or 9 years now.

I've also done some pretty stupid stuff throughout my school years, that make me think, god people must have really thought i was a right c*nt or f*cking idiot back then. I'd like to think i've wisened up over the years though. Like to think anyway.

Stephen Gately

Well...there was this one time on the Late Late Show...

TPD

I forgot my cousins name while talking to her once. Still cringe thinking of that

Irish_wolf

A while back while doing a lab report I mistook the e in the equation for the exponential function instead of the charge on an electron, when we got the lab reports back the guy who corrected it laughed and said "dont worry I wont tell anyone"

Maybe its not that bad to you but I felt pretty stupid seeing as how the answer I got with the exponential was like 1.5*10^17 when I was looking for something like 8*10^32 and I left it saying it must have been an experiemtnal mistake :pac: Oh well.

alwaysadub

We had a work do in the actual job one night. I got absolutely legless(i blame the jelly vodka's) but managed to make it into work the next day. Came into the office where i kept my belongings to discover my bag i'd left there the night before was open and everything was thrown out of it and my discman(it was a few years ago!) and a few cd's and other things were gone. Had a look around,couldn't find them anywhere. Went to the boss who called all the lads into a meeting and told them there was a thieving scumbag among us who robs collegues belongings. No one owned up. Got brought to the matter of the MD who threatened to sack people unless someone owned up.
Bout an hour later,i got a phone call from one of the girls in the accounts office to ask when was i collecting my discman!!
Apparantly while drunk,i'd decided to start playing music to people through the speakers in the accounts office from my discman

I nearly got lynched when i went back to my boss explaining that the person who'd gone through my bag and took my stuff was me.
Ended up having to make an apology to all the poor lads that had been accused of robbing.

I stopped drinking jelly vodkas after that night..

Mars Bar

Sunday night I went to the offy and got asked for ID, doesn't happen too often so took it out and when he handed it back to me, I put it in my wallet where I have my cash. Grabbed the bag with the drink and walked out.

Cue 30 seconds later, the fella working there running out shouting "You didn't pay!" in front of loads of people.

Walk of shame back to pay.

I think it was because I have a habit of putting my change straight into the wallet, but in this case it was my ID so it registered in my brain as putting the change in my wallet.

Sam Vimes

Irish_wolf wrote: »

A while back while doing a lab report I mistook the e in the equation for the exponential function instead of the charge on an electron, when we got the lab reports back the guy who corrected it laughed and said "dont worry I wont tell anyone"

Maybe its not that bad to you but I felt pretty stupid seeing as how the answer I got with the exponential was like 1.5*10^17 when I was looking for something like 8*10^32 and I left it saying it must have been an experiemtnal mistake :pac: Oh well.

Yeah I hate when that happens.....

On a similarly nerdy note I once had to write a function as part of an assignment to reproduce the exponential function. As I was writing it I kept getting exactly the right answer no matter what I took out or added. Took me about an hour to realise that by calling my function exp() the compiler was calling the default exponential function that had the same name and ignoring whatever crap I'd written

NothingMan

Came home for lunch today and decided to finish off a big bowl of chilli from last night. Writing this from my porcelain throne now. Really shouldn't have eaten the chilli.:(

brummytom

MrStuffins wrote: »

As if Drink Driving was safer in the 70s or something!

"It was only around the corner" is of no consolation to the people mown down and killed by people who have been killed by idiots using this very excuse.

Sorry for being all serious in AH, but this comment kinda riled me!

I didn't say it was safer back then - that would have been moronic. All I meant was that it wasn't taken as seriously back then as it is now