Those 'Oh God, I'm an Idiot' moments.

Kiera · 13-04-2010 5:06pm

brummytom wrote: »

Reminds me of a story my mom told me about her uncle:

After an afternoon of drinking, he realised he'd ran out and made his way down to the off-licence in the car (this was the 70s, drink-driving wasn't a deadly sin like it is now; and it was only round the corner). Anyway, he comes out of the off-licence, and as it's a nice evening he decides to leave the car there and walk home. No one else in the house knew any of this, though.

So he drank the rest and fell asleep. Woke up the next morning and screamed. "SOMEONE'S STOLEN THE FUCKING CAR!!". The police were called, and within five minutes had located the car outside the offie. Her uncle had suddenly remembered what had happened; "Ah so the buggers didn't get very far then".

I was about to call the cops

MrStuffins · 13-04-2010 5:09pm

brummytom wrote: »

(this was the 70s, drink-driving wasn't a deadly sin like it is now; and it was only round the corner)

As if Drink Driving was safer in the 70s or something!

"It was only around the corner" is of no consolation to the people mown down and killed by people who have been killed by idiots using this very excuse.

Sorry for being all serious in AH, but this comment kinda riled me!

Freyja · 13-04-2010 5:10pm

It was 2003, and one Sunday afternoon myself and a load of fella's landed into a pub to see the United v Arsenal game.

It was a rural pub with families having dinner and locals in for the game, never been there before and never will be again. We all sat down sorta under the tv and watched the game. There was an elderly couple sat to our left who were having their dinner and were also feeding their mentally and physically handicapped son/grandson.

Being totally outnumbered by United fans, I had taken some stick and abuse and kept my council and said nothing, then Gary Neville having no-one near or beside him turned and kicked the ball out over his own line for a corner kick. The United heads all started saying FFS Neville....why the hell did you do that???

So I answered........just as a hush came over the rest of the pub.........Because he is a f*uking R*tard.............

The silence was deafening.......nobody spoke....heads were hung......then I realised not only what I had said but that the whole pub had heard me. Then the whispering started......then one of the lads started to smile......and some were fighting the fit of the giggles....

I couldn't get up to leave......I remained solemnly rooted to the spot.......even when the Penalty was given and Van Nistelrooy hit the bar.....
The game ended I ran to the door.

soups05 · 13-04-2010 5:13pm

brummytom wrote: »

You know the ones I mean, where you end up thinking "I can't believe I've just done that".

yes,the day after my wedding

19 years later and i cant belive SHE said yes. woman is a saint to put up with me

Joey the lips · 13-04-2010 5:18pm

gaz wac wrote: »

I was telling people in work this morning about the top 5 Youtube clips that were shown on Rudetube last night;

" great clip of a bloke who lost his arm to a tiger" !!

" no way,what the name of the site"

"Redtube" :eek:

totally sent them to the wrong site *

* btw i dont look at redtube, it was for a college project !

nope... I dont look at redtube either....Its only for educational purposes.;)

Snowie · 13-04-2010 5:19pm

brizzols cool man i love that town so many drunken nights. waking up in the morning with half a pint of pair cider to finish of and being made to drink more...

what an awesome town...

And the djs night life etc is great brummy tom why didnt you go down st pauls road chicken ?

Hagar · 13-04-2010 5:21pm

MrStuffins wrote: »

I was on the phone to the missus...I went to my bedroom, it wasn't there! I said "Oh feck". My girlfriend asks "what's wrong?"

Are the missus and the girlfriend on good terms?

MrStuffins · 13-04-2010 5:26pm

Hagar wrote: »

Are the missus and the girlfriend on good terms?

Dear Hagar

Mrs Stuffins here. Mr Stuffins can't make it to the laptop at the moment due to blood loss.

On a side note, if anyone is interested in buying a pair of testicles, check out my ad on Adverts.ie

Yours sincerely

Mrs Stuffins (soon to be Ms.Stuffins)

Degag · 13-04-2010 5:30pm

MrStuffins wrote: »

As if Drink Driving was safer in the 70s or something!

"It was only around the corner" is of no consolation to the people mown down and killed by people who have been killed by idiots using this very excuse.

Sorry for being all serious in AH, but this comment kinda riled me!

He wasn't condoning it. That was the perception back then.

Degag · 13-04-2010 5:36pm

Just remembered one a friend told me. He lived just outside his town and had gone drinking the previous night and had parked his car up. So he walked down town to collect it but couldn't find it. He spent an hour walking around town looking for it before walking home perplexed. Don't know why he didn't go into the police station if he thought it was stolen - Anyway he got home and looked out his kitchen window, turns out he had driven the car home afterall.:rolleyes:

(Yeah, drink driving is wrong yada yada, make a thread about it if you want to complain.)

DazMarz · 13-04-2010 5:43pm

I remember once, to try and make a friend of mine feel better, I murdered a Japanese delivery boy on a bike... But through a faux pas on my part, he turned out to be Chinese...

Hi, Pat Bateman...:)

Riddle101 · 13-04-2010 5:49pm

I used to spell Metallica, Mettalica, and one day I decided to draw a picture of Metallica Rules on my friends Bebo page, because we had this little thing going at the time. This was 4 or 5 years ago. So I drew Mettalica Rules. It wasn't until someone replied saying it's Metallica that I realised how big of an idiot i've been, and i've been listening to them for about 8 or 9 years now.

I've also done some pretty stupid stuff throughout my school years, that make me think, god people must have really thought i was a right c*nt or f*cking idiot back then. I'd like to think i've wisened up over the years though. Like to think anyway.

Stephen Gately · 13-04-2010 5:52pm

Well...there was this one time on the Late Late Show...

TPD · 13-04-2010 5:59pm

I forgot my cousins name while talking to her once. Still cringe thinking of that

Irish_wolf · 13-04-2010 6:08pm

A while back while doing a lab report I mistook the e in the equation for the exponential function instead of the charge on an electron, when we got the lab reports back the guy who corrected it laughed and said "dont worry I wont tell anyone"

Maybe its not that bad to you but I felt pretty stupid seeing as how the answer I got with the exponential was like 1.5*10^17 when I was looking for something like 8*10^32 and I left it saying it must have been an experiemtnal mistake :pac: Oh well.

alwaysadub · 13-04-2010 6:14pm

We had a work do in the actual job one night. I got absolutely legless(i blame the jelly vodka's) but managed to make it into work the next day. Came into the office where i kept my belongings to discover my bag i'd left there the night before was open and everything was thrown out of it and my discman(it was a few years ago!) and a few cd's and other things were gone. Had a look around,couldn't find them anywhere. Went to the boss who called all the lads into a meeting and told them there was a thieving scumbag among us who robs collegues belongings. No one owned up. Got brought to the matter of the MD who threatened to sack people unless someone owned up.
Bout an hour later,i got a phone call from one of the girls in the accounts office to ask when was i collecting my discman!!
Apparantly while drunk,i'd decided to start playing music to people through the speakers in the accounts office from my discman

I nearly got lynched when i went back to my boss explaining that the person who'd gone through my bag and took my stuff was me.
Ended up having to make an apology to all the poor lads that had been accused of robbing.

I stopped drinking jelly vodkas after that night..

Mars Bar · 13-04-2010 6:15pm

Sunday night I went to the offy and got asked for ID, doesn't happen too often so took it out and when he handed it back to me, I put it in my wallet where I have my cash. Grabbed the bag with the drink and walked out.

Cue 30 seconds later, the fella working there running out shouting "You didn't pay!" in front of loads of people.

Walk of shame back to pay.

I think it was because I have a habit of putting my change straight into the wallet, but in this case it was my ID so it registered in my brain as putting the change in my wallet.

Sam Vimes · 13-04-2010 6:16pm

Irish_wolf wrote: »

A while back while doing a lab report I mistook the e in the equation for the exponential function instead of the charge on an electron, when we got the lab reports back the guy who corrected it laughed and said "dont worry I wont tell anyone"

Maybe its not that bad to you but I felt pretty stupid seeing as how the answer I got with the exponential was like 1.5*10^17 when I was looking for something like 8*10^32 and I left it saying it must have been an experiemtnal mistake :pac: Oh well.

Yeah I hate when that happens.....

On a similarly nerdy note I once had to write a function as part of an assignment to reproduce the exponential function. As I was writing it I kept getting exactly the right answer no matter what I took out or added. Took me about an hour to realise that by calling my function exp() the compiler was calling the default exponential function that had the same name and ignoring whatever crap I'd written

NothingMan · 13-04-2010 6:18pm

Came home for lunch today and decided to finish off a big bowl of chilli from last night. Writing this from my porcelain throne now. Really shouldn't have eaten the chilli.:(

brummytom · 13-04-2010 7:14pm

MrStuffins wrote: »

As if Drink Driving was safer in the 70s or something!

"It was only around the corner" is of no consolation to the people mown down and killed by people who have been killed by idiots using this very excuse.

Sorry for being all serious in AH, but this comment kinda riled me!

I didn't say it was safer back then - that would have been moronic. All I meant was that it wasn't taken as seriously back then as it is now

CrazyRabbit · 13-04-2010 7:25pm

I signed up for boards.ie and made a post.

Moments later, I thought to myself, "Oh God, I'm an idiot. What have I done?"

It still haunts me to this day how many hours of my life I have lost because of that one stupid decision.

Midnight_EG · 13-04-2010 7:30pm

Right, imagine the scene, I'm standing at the top of a mountain in The Alps in Italy. My board is in my right hand and my camera in the other. On goes the board and I fix my camera into the pocket on my glove to capture myself going down the slope. As I'm positively bombing down I notice a lovely snowboarder of the female variety to the right of me, keeping up with me. We zig-zag down the KM or so of snow until we meet at the bottom, where I happen to pull off a perfect little turn and face as I watch and wait for her sliding down to me. I notice she's on her arse, so I fucked off to the Hotel.

Later on that night I'm at a 'disco' and happen to notice her there, so the lads in my school all fuck off and I'm left with her. So I'm having a little chat, grand thinks I, and we part ways at the end of the night. The next day I decide she's really nice, and I'd like to meet her again.... so I head up the mountain, and who's beside me? Her. We board all the way down again and chat for a while. I know her well enough by this stage and was contemplating moving in for the so-called 'teenage kill'.

Ahh, she's gone again. That night there's a ceremony on where all the ski/board instructors would come down the slopes with torches in their hands, so I head along and by chance meet this girl again. We're talking for ages when I butt in with 'oh what's your name?', so she tells me it, and we part ways again.

3 seconds later I forgot her name and didn't see her ever again.

TL;DR
Read the fucking thing you lazy fuck.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 13-04-2010 7:54pm

I'm sure I've loads of these but the one that sprung to mind when I saw the title was this.

I was standing outside the college library having a smoke and a blind guy-white tipped walking stick, dark glasses, the whole lot-came up but was obviously confused about where exactly he was (it was raining, and though I know it doesn't make sense I always think that had something to do with it, even though apparently, blind people aren't like bats and don't have sonar).

He stopped a girl who was coming out and asked her "could you tell me where the door is please?" and she goes "Yeah sure, it's over there" and POINTS. The poor man is more confused, and she's obviously really embarassed and goes "Oh sorry! It's just to my right there"

at this point the blind guy was so bewildered that the girl's friend just offered to walk him in, she must have been morto

13-04-2010 8:10pm

Olivia Damp Rudder wrote: »

I'm sure I've loads of these but the one that sprung to mind when I saw the title was this.

I was standing outside the college library having a smoke and a blind guy-white tipped walking stick, dark glasses, the whole lot-came up but was obviously confused about where exactly he was (it was raining, and though I know it doesn't make sense I always think that had something to do with it, even though apparently, blind people aren't like bats and don't have sonar).

He stopped a girl who was coming out and asked her "could you tell me where the door is please?" and she goes "Yeah sure, it's over there" and POINTS. The poor man is more confused, and she's obviously really embarassed and goes "Oh sorry! It's just to my right there" at this point the blind guy was so bewildered that the girl's friend just offered to walk him in, she must have been morto

Lol. That reminds me of the time we had a deaf man in doing some work in the house. My mother comes into the sitting room and whispers to me "just so you know; he's deaf". Cue my response: "If he's deaf why are you whispering?".

Warrior011 · 13-04-2010 8:29pm

I went in to the health centre in TCD last week to see was there a dentist nearby, only to be reminded about the dental hospital at the back of the college, I felt like a real idiot because I pass by it everyday

abrr1000 · 13-04-2010 8:29pm

About 2 years ago there was a programme on about what would happen if Selafield (spelling?) would blow...
We turned it on halfway during the program...so it looked like actual news of people fleeing from Dublin....foolishly believed it was happening and started running around closing windows and texting people...

Then had to pretend I was winding them up :rolleyes:

Agricola · 13-04-2010 8:40pm

Crossed a pair of jump leads on my car battery. Twice. Completely wrecked the alternator and the electrics in general.

ottostreet · 13-04-2010 8:49pm

while studying for my leaving cert in december 2005, i was shattered from getting up early every morning (half six-7am to get ready every morning), so after one long day including supervised study after school, i went to bed around 6:30pm for a nap. the curtains were open and it was dark outside.

i then woke up at 7:50pm. however, i read it wrong and assumed it was 7:50am the next morning. looking outside, it was dark (as it would be at that hour on a december morning) but 7:50 was very late if i wanted to get to school on time, so i proceeded to get up quickly, throw on my uniform, grab my bag and legged it outside to my dads van. my dad was outside in one of the sheds (oddly enough i should have copped), and i was shouting at him to hurry up cos we were late. he didnt have a clue what i was talking about, and once he grasped i seriously thought it was the following morning, he mocked me mercilessly for about a week.

Warrior011 · 13-04-2010 8:53pm

abrr1000 wrote: »

About 2 years ago there was a programme on about what would happen if Selafield (spelling?) would blow...
We turned it on halfway during the program...so it looked like actual news of people fleeing from Dublin....foolishly believed it was happening and started running around closing windows and texting people...

Then had to pretend I was winding them up :rolleyes:

Something similar happened to me except that it was the ad for that program, I saw it and my heart dropped but then i realised what was happening

Giselle · 13-04-2010 9:03pm

I looked at my car keys and something struck me as very wrong about the situation, just before I slammed the boot door shut on them.

Those 'Oh God, I'm an Idiot' moments.

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