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Those 'Oh God, I'm an Idiot' moments.

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    #392
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    Made a dope of myself here also :p


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    #393
    KeithM89_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    Spilled alot of oil like a complete idiot last week... :(
    Bad times...

    Never got found out though :)


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    #394
    Derolicte
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭Derolicte


    A good few years ago I rang my dad and asked him if he could come pick me up after work. He kindly agreed and we arranged for him to collect me near the Leisureplex in Blanchardstown.

    So I was listening to my iPod outside the Plex minding my own business when I see the car pull up. Happy days.

    I go over to the car, open the door and get in and fasten my seatbelt.

    I'm messing with the iPod for about 10 seconds or so to turn it off when I turn to chat to my Dad only to see an extremely confused and slightly worried complete stranger! :eek:

    I scream 'S**t!' and say 'Sorry' about 5 times before hopping out of the car fairly sharpish.

    The stranger bursts out laughing and I turn bright red.

    I'm completely mortified but at least I think nobody I know will find out about it if I keep it to myself.

    Then I notice my Dad's car 50 yards further down the road! He'd seen everything and was in absolute hysterics. He was laughing so hard he couldn't drive for about another 10 minutes.

    Needless to say he told everyone and I got some serious stick for months afterwards. Was funny though.


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    #395
    TanG411
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,836 ✭✭✭TanG411


    I remember I rang a taxi because I needed to go out to the airport. It was about 7a.m. And I was wrecked.

    I waited outside my house for it. Car pulled up, I hopped into the back and said 'How are ya? Airport please'.
    He turns back and says ''What the f*ck are you doing?''
    Turns out he wasn't a taximan and he was just turning his car around outside my house. :o

    Got a good laugh out of it in the end.

    EDIT: Just noticed the post above mine is very similar. I mean WTF like? :D


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    #396
    Namlub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,298 ✭✭✭Namlub


    I spelt my own name wrong on my history test this morning...


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    #397
    FoxT
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,204 ✭✭✭FoxT


    Shortly after we moved to Cork (years back) some neighbour of ours was taken to hospital. Adults spoke in hushed tones about 'De Iron Troat', it was only years later I learnt it was the old 'Eye, Ear & Throat' hospital...


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    #398
    Johro
    Registered Users Posts: 4,705 ✭✭✭Johro


    I p!ssed on an electric fence.
    Can't recommend it..


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    #399
    Johro
    Registered Users Posts: 4,705 ✭✭✭Johro


    KeithM89 wrote: »
    Spilled alot of oil like a complete idiot last week... :(
    Bad times...

    Never got found out though :)
    BP's got nothing on ya.


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    #400
    jonnyfingers
    Registered Users Posts: 2,333 ✭✭✭jonnyfingers


    Most recently I was out for my triathlon club's night out. We always book out this same pub and this time was no difference. So I walked in and there was all the lads but everyone was quiet, no music, no craic. So I loudly proclaim "Who died???!!!"





    Turns out a young local lad who drowned did. His father who was standing at the bar told me. Only then did I notice all the people wearing black.:(

    Still, had a good night in the end. :D


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    #401
    LpPepper
    Registered Users Posts: 638 ✭✭✭LpPepper


    Making cereal and when Im finished , putting the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the press ...:rolleyes:


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    #402
    Johro
    Registered Users Posts: 4,705 ✭✭✭Johro


    My mother went to a breakers yard an asked the guy if he had a 'bionic arm'. She meant a hydraulic strut, for the door of her hatchback. She also asked a guy at the hardware if he had wooden balls.
    When some bloke had promised to fix the tiles on the roof but kept putting it off she meant to say 'I'll have to phone him and crack my whip'.
    What she said was, 'I'll have to phone him and whip my crack'.


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    #403
    _Whimsical_
    Registered Users Posts: 7,955 ✭✭✭_Whimsical_


    Not my own but I witnessed a good one made by someone recently.

    I was watching TV with a friend and she flicked on teletext to see the news headlines. First one was "Woman Critical After Being Shot in the Head".

    My friends response was "critical???? I'd say that's the understatement of the year. She must be f**king raging" :D


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    #404
    Professional Griefer
    Registered Users Posts: 7,116 ✭✭✭Professional Griefer


    In the leaving cert last June, we just finished Biology, everyone outside with the usual how'd you do chat.

    One of the questions was to draw and label the male reproductive organ.

    Anyways, one of the lads jokingly said that he was delighted with that question, didn't learn it but it was so easy to cheat.
    It took me a minute to figure out, he was sitting near by me, and I said that he didn't take out any sheets or whatever. They all looked at me and laughed for a quite a bit, felt rather stupid after that.


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    #405
    hadook
    Registered Users Posts: 792 ✭✭✭hadook


    I was coming back from Scotland years ago with my OH, completely shattered and staring vacantly out the window at the nice scenery. After about 10 minutes of this I turned to him and said something along the lines of "look at the cows on that hill". He's completely confused and asks "what cows?"


    Says I "Those ones, the cows with antlers" :o


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    #406
    Son Of A Vidic
    Registered Users Posts: 32,370 ✭✭✭✭Son Of A Vidic


    In London a couple of years back, I was doing a patient admission/assessment on a girl into the unit where I worked. I turned to speak to her mum, to ask a couple of questions - that's when it happened. Mum told me she wasn't her mum - she was her sister :eek: What made it worse was, there wasn't a very large year gap separating them. I then proceeded to fling myself out the window.:o


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    #407
    Duckjob
    Registered Users Posts: 2,858 ✭✭✭Duckjob


    Forwarding an email from my boss to a mate with a rant about the boss inserted at the top, and realising just after it was gone that I had hit reply instead of forward.


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    #408
    curlzy
    Registered Users Posts: 1,708 ✭✭✭curlzy


    Told my boss I wouldn't work in Brussels because I didn't think I'd like living in Russia :o On the phone in work asked "can I have a pen" instead of "have you got a pen". Also I constantly answer my mobile with my work greeting.:o


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    #409
    Squaredude
    Registered Users Posts: 1,186 ✭✭✭Squaredude


    Was making out a birthday card for my dads birthday,finished writing it and put it into its envelope and then proceeded to write my own name in big letters across the front of it.had to give him the card in the brown paper bag i got it in from the shop.


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    #410
    a-k-47
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,298 ✭✭✭a-k-47


    asking a girl i knew how long she was pregnant.

    she wasnt. :o


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    #411
    Johro
    Registered Users Posts: 4,705 ✭✭✭Johro


    'I was on the train, and had bought myself a cup of tea, a newspaper and a small packet of biscuits, upon which I made my way along the carriage to find a place to sit at a table.
    I sat down opposite a man reading a book, put my things on the table, opened the paper and started reading and sipping my tea, when suddenly the man opposite me reached for my biscuits, opened the package, took out a biscuit and started munching it. The bloody cheek of it!
    I kept cool, read my paper, then after a little while reached for the biscuits, took one and put the whole biscuit in my mouth and chewed furiously. He glared at me!
    Then went back to his book.
    Right, I thought. That's that then. I took another biscuit, while eyeing him defiantly. He did the same! I just could not believe the sheer impudence of the man!
    This tit for tat went on for a while until, furious, I grabbed the last two biscuits and stuffed them in my mouth.
    He stood up, grabbed his book and bag, fixed me with a withering glare and walked off.
    Good riddance, I thought, shrugging and went back to my paper.
    Then the train reached my stop, I stood up, gathered my coat and hat, picked up my newspaper and under it, on the table, were my biscuits...'

    As told by Douglas Adams, an incident he later included in 'The Hitch Hikers' Guide To The Galaxy'.


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    #412
    NinjaTruncs
    Registered Users Posts: 2,469 ✭✭✭NinjaTruncs


    I was going to Eminem when he played here a few years ago, I came home one day and my dad told me they had put the price of the tickets up and he wondered how they would get the extra money from the people who had already paid


    they'd added 50 cent!

    4.3kWp South facing PV System. South Dublin



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    #413
    Goldenegg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 352 ✭✭Goldenegg


    This was done when I was seriously fatigued after a 60 hour working week!!

    Made a cup of tea..
    • Put the tea bag in the mug
    • Boiled the kettle
    • When boiled, filled the mug with milk
    • Squeezed tea bag out of the mug
    • Put in a dash of hot water

    Dunce alert!


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    #414
    Duddy
    Registered Users Posts: 1,134 ✭✭✭Duddy


    My mother is worse than me.
    I was trying to get one of those big dolls heads, that you can comb and mascara etc, for my 2 year old niece the other week:

    Me: Oh I seen some of those dolls head yokes, but they were all 3+Up.
    Mum: Oh, so did you get it then?
    Me: No, they were 3+Up.
    Mum: But, sure, 3 euro's not that expensive?!


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    #415
    butter13222
    Closed Accounts Posts: 112 ✭✭butter13222


    Before heading to Dublin for an all Ireland rushed to get my passport was only after after turning 18 and didnt look it , i wasnt asked for it in the pubs all day until i got to coppers that night.Imagen the shame as he broke down laughing at the passport belonging to my mother and enlightened the crowd in line behind me . In fairness to him he said go on in you kerry fool.


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    #416
    jellybeans
    Registered Users Posts: 369 ✭✭jellybeans


    coolabula wrote: »

    Also when I used to bring my little boy out for a walk in his pram I used to forget we were walking and try to turn the indicators on whenever we were turning :)

    sometimes I say 'edit undo' in my head when I spill something....


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    #417
    jellybeans
    Registered Users Posts: 369 ✭✭jellybeans


    Balfie wrote: »
    my mate one day in a restraunt, got asked how would he like his steak, his da had replied medium when asked, when it was my mates turn he replied extra large please

    I was having dinner with a fella once who asked the waiter what veel was, the waiter replied it's deer and the fella replies I didn't ask you how much it is....gas :D


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    #418
    sdanseo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,233 ✭✭✭sdanseo


    Mine happened just yesterday.

    Was standing in the shop where I work chatting to a few of the lads including a manager. Now what I meant to say was "I have to remember to go and ask [the other manager] for some extra hours"

    What came out was, "I have to go and ask her for some extra ass" - genuine slip of the tongue!!

    Cue hilarity. And before anyone asks, no I wouldn't.


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    #419
    mcdoogle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 83 ✭✭mcdoogle


    Johro wrote: »
    'I was on the train, and had bought myself a cup of tea, a newspaper and a small packet of biscuits, upon which I made my way along the carriage to find a place to sit at a table.
    I sat down opposite a man reading a book, put my things on the table, opened the paper and started reading and sipping my tea, when suddenly the man opposite me reached for my biscuits, opened the package, took out a biscuit and started munching it. The bloody cheek of it!
    I kept cool, read my paper, then after a little while reached for the biscuits, took one and put the whole biscuit in my mouth and chewed furiously. He glared at me!
    Then went back to his book.
    Right, I thought. That's that then. I took another biscuit, while eyeing him defiantly. He did the same! I just could not believe the sheer impudence of the man!
    This tit for tat went on for a while until, furious, I grabbed the last two biscuits and stuffed them in my mouth.
    He stood up, grabbed his book and bag, fixed me with a withering glare and walked off.
    Good riddance, I thought, shrugging and went back to my paper.
    Then the train reached my stop, I stood up, gathered my coat and hat, picked up my newspaper and under it, on the table, were my biscuits...'

    As told by Douglas Adams, an incident he later included in 'The Hitch Hikers' Guide To The Galaxy'.

    Actually happened to me with a half drunk bottle of coke. My bottle was in my bag the whole time. The poor woman opposite me must have thought I was a total freak.


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    #420
    grungepants
    Registered Users Posts: 318 ✭✭grungepants


    AH stands for after hours....i thought people were randomly going "AH"

    lads in work used to call me head the ball.....through their thick dublin accents i thought the were saying heatherball!

    Im 21 ive recently learned what month christmas is in....had to google it

    as a child i had a bath i wanted to be super clean so i used everything i could find.....used bleach by accident...derp

    I used to think i was in a hidden camera tv show every second of my life
    so when i would do somthing embaresing in my room i thought my dad was watching the tv show and laughing...he was probly watching two and a half men




    ps i used to smoke allot of weed


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    #421
    Star Bingo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,366 ✭✭✭Star Bingo


    grungepants wrote: »
    AH stands for after hours....i thought people were randomly going "AH"

    lads in work used to call me head the ball.....through their thick dublin accents i thought the were saying heatherball!

    Im 21 ive recently learned what month christmas is in....had to google it

    as a child i had a bath i wanted to be super clean so i used everything i could find.....used bleach by accident...derp

    I used to think i was in a hidden camera tv show every second of my life
    so when i would do somthing embaresing in my room i thought my dad was watching the tv show and laughing...he was probly watching two and a half men




    ps i used to smoke allot of weed


    where are you, dundrum mental institute? don't try blame it on weed..

    n dub accents rarely follow a t with a h. try as we might


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