Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Paddy Cow · 12-04-2013 02:53AM

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from yourself.

You have two choices... smile and close this page,
or pass this along to someone else to share the lesson .

Czarcasm · 12-04-2013 06:50AM

Paddy Cow wrote: »

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from yourself.

You have two choices... smile and close this page,
or pass this along to someone else to share the lesson .

That's actually not that bad in fairness, except for the "sharing is caring" bit at the end. Advice being an insult unless asked for and all that.

RoboRat · 12-04-2013 08:34AM

Would have been a better story if the Donkey got out of the well, steadied itself, and aimed a well shot kick to the farmers pus....

or ran off and got a soldier to pop a cap in the farmers ass...

irishgeo · 12-04-2013 08:55AM

Mr. Wong wrote: »

Just saw this doing the rounds. God have mercy on us all..
https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/555597_4918897095647_1162129593_n.jpg

Ahh yes once he gets out of jail the council will have given her a house.

wnolan1992 · 12-04-2013 11:52AM

ElvisChrist6 wrote: »

"So we're all sitting together having something to eat in the sitting room and out of absolute silence, **** lifts up his plate and goes, "here ma, what's the story with this, there's sauce all over the kipp". I don't know what was worse, the look on my ma's face or trying not to laugh. Haha, my family are off their trollies. (it was a joke btw for all you buzz kills out there :-P my mam laughed to........afterwards :-P)"

And how they laughed! I really don't know what I'm missing, or what exactly the "buzz kills" would say...

Oh-ho-ho-ho! What a great wheeze that was. He poured sauce... hahahaha... all over the kipp (kippers? Or kip? Or maybe KP?) ..... hahahaha!

yerwanthere123 · 12-04-2013 05:36PM

"Lifes sh*t at times bt u gt ta keep u head up no matter wa d sun will always cum ou"

Inspiring :')

kunst nugget · 12-04-2013 05:44PM

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

"Lifes sh*t at times bt u gt ta keep u head up no matter wa d sun will always cum ou"

Inspiring :')

That is the first time I've seen Dublinese txtspk. It's amazingly phonetic.

Custardpi · 12-04-2013 06:03PM

kunst nugget wrote: »

That is the first time I've seen Dublinese txtspk. It's amazingly phonetic.

You could actually imagine that fitting reasonably well into Finnegan's Wake.

unknowngirl!! · 12-04-2013 06:41PM

Seeing a lot of this lately!

FB.gif

SusieBlue · 12-04-2013 06:54PM

The amount of people that think the "hope ur okay hun xxx" page is real never fails to amuse me, there's always at least 2-3 people commenting on every status telling her to learn to spell and get a job. Some people don't get the humour of it at all!

yerwanthere123 · 12-04-2013 08:38PM

kunst nugget wrote: »

That is the first time I've seen Dublinese txtspk. It's amazingly phonetic.

But.. the person isn't from Dublin :eek:

Gunslinger99 · 12-04-2013 09:07PM

Tara Small Scoreboard wrote: »

the countdown is nearly up....have some great news to share tomorrow! please anyone who knows the 'truth', dont post anything here! so excited!

Stupid attention whore...as if she thinks her life is a soap opera. Get over yourself, love. And all the idiots who keep 'liking' her self-obsessed statuses and posting comments, find a newhobby
or something.

Was there ever a big reveal to this gem ?

kunst nugget · 12-04-2013 11:12PM

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

But.. the person isn't from Dublin :eek:

Well, inside them beats the heart of a true scobe

April O Neill · 12-04-2013 11:22PM

WhiteRoses wrote: »

The amount of people that think the "hope ur okay hun xxx" page is real never fails to amuse me, there's always at least 2-3 people commenting on every status telling her to learn to spell and get a job. Some people don't get the humour of it at all!

I know, how could you "like" and follow that page without knowing it's a huge pisstake?

Such a funny page though, best thing I ever liked on FB.

daisybelle2008 · 13-04-2013 09:41PM

From failbook, looks like an Irish one

http://cheezburger.com/7303222528

daisybelle2008 · 13-04-2013 09:42PM

.

mariebeth · 14-04-2013 01:41PM

WhiteRoses wrote: »

The amount of people that think the "hope ur okay hun xxx" page is real never fails to amuse me, there's always at least 2-3 people commenting on every status telling her to learn to spell and get a job. Some people don't get the humour of it at all!

I'd love to be able to actually 'like' that page but even though I know it's a piss take, trying to read her updates would give me a headache!

JohnMearsheimer · 14-04-2013 11:57PM

This is from a girl I worked with in Canada. She is the biggest gom and most delusional person I've ever met. Her Facebook posts keep me entertained!

'Wooo deleting spree is turning out to be quite fun! 100 people gone so far! You should really look into your settings and stuff! It's amazing what you can & cannot control on here! Major clean up of my social networking all round.

Just watched something on tv about Facebook and it was a bit of an eye opener! So I'm going to keep chopping away!! Got a couple of messages so far haha, sorry guys if you don't talk to me how the hell am I supposed to know you read the crap I post on here? You're all essentially stalkers if you're not friends! hahaha'

yerwanthere123 · 15-04-2013 12:21AM

JohnMearsheimer wrote: »

This is from a girl I worked with in Canada. She is the biggest gom and most delusional person I've ever met. Her Facebook posts keep me entertained!

'Wooo deleting spree is turning out to be quite fun! 100 people gone so far! You should really look into your settings and stuff! It's amazing what you can & cannot control on here! Major clean up of my social networking all round.

Just watched something on tv about Facebook and it was a bit of an eye opener! So I'm going to keep chopping away!! Got a couple of messages so far haha, sorry guys if you don't talk to me how the hell am I supposed to know you read the crap I post on here? You're all essentially stalkers if you're not friends! hahaha'

What. A. Moron.

Custardpi · 15-04-2013 12:29AM

JohnMearsheimer wrote: »

This is from a girl I worked with in Canada. She is the biggest gom and most delusional person I've ever met. Her Facebook posts keep me entertained!

'Wooo deleting spree is turning out to be quite fun! 100 people gone so far! You should really look into your settings and stuff! It's amazing what you can & cannot control on here! Major clean up of my social networking all round.

Just watched something on tv about Facebook and it was a bit of an eye opener! So I'm going to keep chopping away!! Got a couple of messages so far haha, sorry guys if you don't talk to me how the hell am I supposed to know you read the crap I post on here? You're all essentially stalkers if you're not friends! hahaha'

In fairness that sounds relatively mild compared to some of the stuff that's been posted here. At least she's self aware enough to realise that what she posts is "crap", which is more than can be said for many other FB users.

leggo · 15-04-2013 10:47AM

On the other hand, though, it's not self-aware enough to realise that a Facebook friendship is a two-way thing and assumes that the people she doesn't know are hanging on her every word, while she's aloof and cool enough to want to delete them from her life. Also sounds like the type of person who'd moan if the same happened to her.

So yeah, I'm gonna go right ahead and say that, on the basis of that, she's a twat.

Thwip! · 15-04-2013 04:37PM

New one circulating under a picture of a husband and wife in bed

Why Women are special ..(read this complete )

Husband & Wife were watching TV when Wife said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.

Rinsed out the bowls, took vegetable out of the freezer for morning, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and
bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.

She picked up the game pieces left onthe table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.

She emptied a waste basket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, Addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.

She put both near her bag. Then she washed her face, put on her moisturizer, brushed her teeth.....

Husband called out,
"I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish, then made sure the doors were locked.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and radios, and had a brief conversation with one kid who is still up doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day.

Said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals. about that time,

Husband turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular.
"I'm going to bed."
And he did... without another thought.

Anything Extraordinary Here?

Share this to phenomenal women today... they' ll love you for it!

And Forward this to as many men as you can so that they know why women are so special......!! !

wnolan1992 · 15-04-2013 04:44PM

Thwip! wrote: »

New one circulating under a picture of a husband and wife in bed

Why Women are special ..(read this complete )

Husband & Wife were watching TV when Wife said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.

Rinsed out the bowls, took vegetable out of the freezer for morning, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and
bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She picked up the game pieces left onthe table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.

She emptied a waste basket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, Addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.

She put both near her bag. Then she washed her face, put on her moisturizer, brushed her teeth.....

Husband called out,
"I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish, then made sure the doors were locked.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day.

Anything Extraordinary Here?

Share this to phenomenal women today... they' ll love you for it!

And Forward this to as many men as you can so that they know why women are so special......!! !

I live alone. I do most of that sh*t every night.

*checks crotch*

No, definitely not a woman...

kunst nugget · 15-04-2013 04:52PM

Thwip! wrote: »

New one circulating under a picture of a husband and wife in bed

Well, if she planned her day out properly like a man instead of leaving everything until the last minute she would have been able to go straight up to bed.

MurdyWurdy · 15-04-2013 04:52PM

wnolan1992 wrote: »

I live alone. I do most of that sh*t every night.

*checks crotch*

No, definitely not a woman...

I'm married and it's my husband who does all that in our house. I like my sleep, I do! I'm fairly sure he 's not a woman either.

Those kind of statuses/updates annoy me so much, it's just people's way of sating boohoo my life is so hard

Bipolar Joe · 15-04-2013 04:57PM

Thwip! wrote: »

New one circulating under a picture of a husband and wife in bed

Why Men are special ..(read this complete )

Husband & Wife were at home when Wife said, "We need milk."

She went to the car and drove to the shopping centre.

Browsed the make up aisle, got her hair done, had a manicure, bought some pants, bought new shoes for the pants and bought more pants because Sharon has more pants than Wife does.

She then ran into Sharon and had a coffee with her even though Wife hates Sharon (The pants hogging whore).

She picked up new earrings, brought the shoes back complaining that they're the wrong size because she's in denial about her monster feet and bought the newest iPhone.

She emptied the joint account for an €800 dress she'll never wear.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the car.

She stopped by Brown Thomas and bought a new handbag and jacket.

She picked up more make up and earrings, hobbled to the till and spent fifteen minutes looking for her purse.

She put both in her bag. Then she called up Margaret to see if she wanted to do lunch.....

Husband called out,
"You back yet?"
"..." she said, because she wasn't.
She gossiped with Margaret about Sharon, then complained that the shoe store gave her the correct size shoes for someone with feet two sizes smaller.

She looked at the bill and had a brief conversation with one guy who wore a suit.

Wife and Margaret passive-aggressively shared the bill; then she bought clothing for the next day.

Got into the car, visualized the amount of crap she bought that day.

Husband turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular.
"Fuck it, I'll get milk myself."
And he did... without another thought.

.

daisybelle2008 · 15-04-2013 09:04PM

From Macklemores Facebook

http://cheezburger.com/7318066688

daisybelle2008 · 15-04-2013 09:05PM

:rolleyes:

yerwanthere123 · 15-04-2013 11:09PM

The "Prayers for Boston" posts have already started. I know it's probably well intentioned, but I find things like that utterly crass.

Custardpi · 15-04-2013 11:18PM

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

The "Prayers for Boston" posts have already started. I know it's probably well intentioned, but I find things like that utterly crass.

Haven't seen any of those yet but I'm sure I will. If it wasn't such a serious subject I'd almost be tempted to post something like "Making a Sandwich for Boston", "Watching TV for Boston" or "Organising My Sock Drawer for Boston". All just as much practical help to the victims as rattling off Hail Marys, however well intentioned.

Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

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