Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

membersonly wrote: »

This person is in their mid twenties...

"if any1 of me frends on facebuk had dere birtday over d past few weeks nd i didnt say hapy b-day 2 dem, wel im sorry coz i just woznt on facebuk at all over d xmas holidays. hope yez all had gud days anyway!"


The nation breathes a sigh of relief.

Ok, have another update from this person today, they used the "What does your name say about you" app on facebook, with the following result:

"You are a great writer with great ideas, and you embrace new challenges. Being overly sensitive is your biggest weakness".

Freaky ****, so spot on...

podgemonster wrote: »

I have a relation who recently needed medical and facebook attention....

Poster "N hospial again, dis s boll0x"

Friend 1 "Ru alrit budz"

Friend 2 "Ya alrit man"

Friend 3 "Hey ******, wats wrong wit u??"

Poster "Yea il be grand boiz cheerz"

Girlfriend "OMG BABE???? WHATS WRNG!!!!!!!!

Poster "It K, il rng u l8r!

Girlfriend "So brav babi, luvs you xoxoxoxoxoxox"

Poster "I no,luv too xXXxXXx"

He had an ingrown fúcking toenail!!!!!

Poor baby! U b brav

Jesus this hurt to read....friends I have younger sister so came up in the side feed!

Hannah ahh your ****in unreal your soo sound and funny and good looking we do be textin til like 4 in de mornin nowadays ahh yur really cool aswel and your a really good friend I didn't really talk to ya in lurgan but started after it me and the boys went round wi ya at the ploughing wit yu and yur mates for a bit at de end killenarx sounds like Paris to the kip I live in haha your just completely Awsome hah UDW

face1990 wrote: »

Another from that couple I posted earlier:
You know when you're out with a couple who are getting a bit too intimate and making everyone else a bit uncomfortable? In this case 'everyone else' is the entirety of their friends and family.
http://i39.tinypic.com/1445lon.jpg

Oh dear god!:eek:

Friendships are special... So lets start a friendship ring... If you are my friend click the like button and then re-post... If I don't see your name, I'll understand xxx

Yes, because anyone who doesn't repost that crap isn't your friend.

languagenerd wrote: »

tough__cookie wrote: »

Also I hate people checking in that they are IN BED or AT HOME or TESCOS

Worse is when they check in to "Bed" or "Going asleep now" and then add their boyfriend's name after! "XXXXX is IN BED with XXXXXX : )"

Do your 300+ friends and family really need to know that?!!

Completely agree. Though, to be fair, when you see the kind of people who do this it is newsworthy that they've found someone who will breed with them.

Worse was a lad I know who gives occasional play-by-plays of nights out while he's on the pull...including checking into the taxi with 'a hot blonde' or whatever. Then talking about how sore/tired he is later. But then it's funny the nights he checks in somewhere and his lack of commentary implies that he doesn't pull.

A friend of mine posted recently

"Poor granny a year dead already hard to believe!! Not be long till mass now!!"

Words fail me.

Friendships are special... So lets start a friendship ring... If you are my friend click the like button and then re-post... If I don't see your name, I'll understand xxx

Aoifey! wrote: »

Yes, because anyone who doesn't repost that crap isn't your friend.

A friendship ring? Sounds like a circle jerk to me.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

"You're JUST a mum? Yes, I am a Mum! That makes me an alarm clock, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, nurse, handyman, security officer, photographer, counselor, chauffeur, event planner, personal assistant, ATM & I scare away the boogie man. I don't get holidays, sick pay or days off. I work through the DAY & NIGHT. I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life. And that's just with my first job... BEING A MUM!! I may not be anything to you but I am everything to someone! Re-Post if your a PROUD MUM! "


Oh shut up. I didn't criticize your no doubt valiant efforts as a mother, so don't piss me off with stupid statuses.

I saw something similar -

"Mother
[muth-er noun]
1. One person who does the work of twenty. For free.

(See also: 'masochist', 'loony', 'saint')
"

Not my emphasis, that was the picture.

blatantrereg wrote: »

"Tired but can't sleep...mind feels racey tonight!"

by a girl. Classy. The male equivalent would be "Tired but can't sleep...I have such a boner!"

The "sweet dreams" type responses (by multiple guys of course) are marginally more retarded again, in fairness.

I wonder if the 'be a creep to a girl you've never met in public' strategy has ever worked for one bloke, ever.

A long time bugbear of mine is 'Like' pages trying to get some popularity by posting stuff to my wall. Stuff like 'How excited two bus drivers get when they pass each other on the road' posting "Hey guys! If you like this page you're gonna LOVE 'LOL @ Turbans!'l

Ugh. You're not famous now, you're not someone's who's observations we want shoved down our throats constantly. You're some guy who made a reasonably funny remark one time. Everyone who laughed isn't all of a sudden your 'fan'. Get over it.