Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

One-Liner Jokes

Options
1185186187188189191»

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 19,220 ✭✭✭✭everlast75


    *me, rearranging my spice rack alphabetically* Ok, what comes after thyme?

    Cyndi Lauper: thyme



  • Registered Users Posts: 747 ✭✭✭xlogo


    We've just trained the family dog to go fetch a bottle of red wine from the kitchen rack.

    He's a Bordeaux Collie, if you're interested..



  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,966 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    How do you milk sheep ?

    Release a new iPad



  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 12,005 Mod ✭✭✭✭iamstop


    Sign in a pet shop:

    Live birds going cheep

    Dead birds not going cheep



  • Registered Users Posts: 747 ✭✭✭xlogo


    The Germans have started making hotdog sausages from seagull meat.

    They've taken a tern for the wurst



  • Advertisement
  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 19,453 Mod ✭✭✭✭Sam Russell


    No post here for over two weeks!

    That's no joke.



  • Registered Users Posts: 19,220 ✭✭✭✭everlast75


    Nandos have just employed me as a Security Guard.

    I spend most evenings just walking around the Peri-perimeter.



  • Registered Users Posts: 19,220 ✭✭✭✭everlast75


    What people don’t know is Cilla Black has a warehouse.

    It supplies supplies.



  • Registered Users Posts: 747 ✭✭✭xlogo


    Got sacked from the M & M’s Production Line for throwing away all the ‘W’s’



  • Registered Users Posts: 747 ✭✭✭xlogo


    Time flies like an arrow

    And fruit flies like a banana



  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 747 ✭✭✭xlogo


    Glass coffins will they be popular?

    Remains to be seen.



  • Registered Users Posts: 19,220 ✭✭✭✭everlast75


    Our cat is called Boston.

    To us, he's more than a feline.



  • Registered Users Posts: 19,220 ✭✭✭✭everlast75


    My microwave has been broken more times than I've had hot dinners.



Advertisement