Sh*te your co-workers say

dublinman1990

ArnoldJRimmer wrote: »

I dialed into an online training course this morning. From the start of the meeting, the presenter kept talking about 'how pleased she was to be on a journey with us.' I wasn't sure if the journey in question was the one hour meeting, or using the product itself. But she signed off saying that she's 'looking forward to continuing our journey together.'

This is up there with 'we need to square the circle' in terms of confusing me

What are the chances when the course ends for the day in that she says "Thank God. That sh1te is over for another day".

Your Face

'Cascade this down to your teams'

Yeah, lll tell them this.

Naydy

A woman nearing her 60's in my office, during the Repeal the 8th campaign. She asked if I was for or against, I said I was voting "yes" and she said "Babies like yours will be killed just like that, would you be ok with your baby being murdered?". This said in front of about a half dozen people in our small kitchenette while pointing at my stomach. I was about 25 weeks pregnant

I wish I had called her out on that rubbish but I think I just stood there gaping like a fish at her before finally spluttering out something about her being completely inappropriate. I'd never had a problem with her before then, she is normally quite a nice lady. I don't know what possessed her.

Greyfox

SuperGrover wrote: »

Various colleagues, week in, week out...

Monday - "Mondays, huh?"
Tuesday - "Ah well, at least Monday's over"
Wednesday - "Halfway there now"
Thursday - "Nearly Friday"
Friday - "Thank god it's Friday"

I'm one of those people and I'll never change

BuboBubo

Blueshoe wrote: »

Eastern European co worker tells me regularly how his country is better than Ireland.
This is better, that is better.

Yet you are here . Why don't you gather up more of your countrymen and **** back to Poland

Worked with one of those a few years ago. One day I had enough of his ranting, and replied in a calm voice "yes, but nobody wants to live there".

That was 10 years ago, doubt I'd get away with it nowadays. However it shut him up!

The_Honeybadger

I have the worst energy vampire ever in the office next to mine. The entirety of the worlds misfortune lands on this ones shoulders time after time. Every day I talk to her there is a new tale of woe, a family member is sick or dying, her car is giving trouble and she can’t afford to fix it, her son is being bullied, her back is at her. Jesus f**king Christ she would drain you to listen to her. And that’s before she even starts on the whingeing about how stressful her workload is when in reality we are working around her because she is useless and unreliable.

The whole place avoids her like the plague but I have to walk past her office to get to mine so I can’t dodge her. Our manager has asked HR to move her but no other section will take her it seems.

Not so civil servant

My manager has a sh*t load of animals and she likes to tell you about them everyday.

The morning starts with her running in late huffing and puffing. She then goes on to say that the morning got away from her and she is so busy with 7 dogs, 6 hens and 5 ducks.

Then the 2 lads in here shout out "and a partridge in a pear tree"

Every.Single.Morning.

Deebles McBeebles

Naydy wrote: »

I don't know what possessed her.

Same thing that possessed a lot of people during that campaign. Sh*tty thing to say, especially to a pregnant woman.

Greyfox wrote: »

I'm one of those people and I'll never change

Its the mild depression you see, its all that keeps us going.

EmmetSpiceland

SuperGrover wrote: »

Wednesday - "Halfway there now"

We had a guy who’d say “we’re Bon Jovi now lads!” every Wednesday.

I mean, it was funny the first time but it got old fast. Very fast. It also got the song stuck in your head for the day.

realdanbreen

What time are you finishing at?

ILoveYourVibes

You have to treat your clients like children.

flexcon

The word “right”.

After every sentence they say right.

I am no longer sure if they actually are looking for a response or it’s a statement of fact. I’ve given up on it at this stage.

razorblunt

So...

greenspurs

or the one that starts every answer with a loooooonng puff of breath, just to demonstrate how stressed he/she is... then the misery starts.....

I love asking how they are just to see how long they can blow breath out for ………….

greenspurs

"well, anyway …"

"I hear ya, but "

" shur ya heard me "

Paddy Cow

BuboBubo wrote: »

Worked with one of those a few years ago. One day I had enough of his ranting, and replied in a calm voice "yes, but nobody wants to live there".

That was 10 years ago, doubt I'd get away with it nowadays. However it shut him up!

You can still get away with it, you just have to be more passive aggressive. "I don't understand why you're here if it's so great over there" *pretend confused face*.

It's actually anti-Irish to not be allowed tell people to go home. Before we had foreigners and the only people migrating in Ireland were other Irish, they were referred to as blow-ins. You could be living in your new village/town for over 20 years but if there was a dispute you'd be let know your position in the pecking order :pac:

chrissb8

Worked with one lady who was lovely and helpful but just annoying at times....

"Sure I don't care what anyone thinks about me, f**k it like, whatever"

Multiple times said to me over the one year I worked with her. Yeah I get it, no one cares enough to be thinking about you either so stop going on.

Then the last word thing jayyysssusss that was annoying. Had to have the last word, some weird no one gets one over me kinda thing. Usually started getting a bit passive aggressive but she would call it a bit of craic. Maybe I just look too much into things.

Paddy Cow

chrissb8 wrote: »

Worked with one lady who was lovely and helpful but just annoying at times....

"Sure I don't care what anyone thinks about me, f**k it like, whatever"

Multiple times said to me over the one year I worked with her. Yeah I get it, no one cares enough to be thinking about you either so stop going on.

Then the last word thing jayyysssusss that was annoying. Had to have the last word, some weird no one gets one over me kinda thing. Usually started getting a bit passive aggressive but she would call it a bit of craic. Maybe I just look too much into things.

People who say that over and over generally care a lot what others think about them but they want to come across as cool and not caring. They're not fooling anyone!

Not so civil servant

One lad here whenever he is p*ssed off starts firing out emails to HR if he feels his GDPR rights are "under threat".

I feel so sorry for the guy in HR...it's relentless

jmayo

Not so civil servant wrote: »

Have one dinosaur that makes constant inappropriate comments.

Told his manager that she was built for comfort not for speed.

Ah feck it.
You need characters to spice things up.
Otherwise life becomes very pale and boring.

Not so civil servant wrote: »

One lad here whenever he is p*ssed off starts firing out emails to HR if he feels his GDPR rights are "under threat".

I feel so sorry for the guy in HR...it's relentless

I just love how GDPR can scare the shyte out of HR and get them all in a tizz.
HR are usually clowns who are there to protect management and company so never feel sorry for them.

BTW at project meeting the other day decided I might start playing bingo.
Have project team member that said "going forward" and "forthwith" about 10 times.

I just kept thinking of Indians attacking somewhere like Fort Laramie.
Ok yes I was bored with listening to a bunch of managers who have no fooking concept of the project talking about firm timelines while at the same time refusing to do something about a project team member that is not alone incapable but disruptive and that I and the supplier lead consultant have highlighted as such.

Seanachai

It's also the way that co-workers, or customers more so say things, I call it 'Business voice', it's usually really uptight PA's or the designated contact in a company who is usually a battle-axe. They talk in this clipped, ultra-blunt fashion that makes the hairs on your neck stand up. When you actually go out to site they look like the old matrons you used to see on hospital wards.

facehugger99

The people, who's only purpose is to try and make problems, to attempt to justify their own positions. They literally add no value and slow everything down.

I'm looking at you specifically Legal and HR ladies.

jmayo

Just saw recent updated new HR policy where the definition of leave for death of immediate family did not include wife/husband/partner or daughter/son.

It gave every conceivable form of inlaw, half brother/sister, step brother/sister but not the main family members above.

According to their policy you are not allowed time off for the first category above.
If you are going to definite stuff to cover everything then do the fooking thing right.

Odelay

jmayo wrote: »

Just saw recent updated new HR policy where the definition of leave for death of immediate family did not include wife/husband/partner or daughter/son.

It gave every conceivable form of inlaw, half brother/sister, step brother/sister but not the main family members above.

According to their policy you are not allowed time off for the first category above.
If you are going to definite stuff to cover everything then do the fooking thing right.

Yeah that’s that new policy ........ or is it remotely possible you read it wrong or parts were excluded by accident?

bigslick

jmayo wrote: »

I just love how GDPR can scare the shyte out of HR and get them all in a tizz.
HR are usually clowns who are there to protect management and company so never feel sorry for them.

facehugger99 wrote: »

The people, who's only purpose is to try and make problems, to attempt to justify their own positions. They literally add no value and slow everything down.

I'm looking at you specifically Legal and HR ladies.

jmayo wrote: »

Just saw recent updated new HR policy where the definition of leave for death of immediate family did not include wife/husband/partner or daughter/son........

Working in HR these hurt my feels...

jmayo

Odelay wrote: »

Yeah that’s that new policy ........ or is it remotely possible you read it wrong or parts were excluded by accident?

No I know how to read well enough.
And if you are going to start rolling out a policy try and include the obvious ones if you are going to include every other fooking option.
Otherwise it looks half ar**ed and daft.
Frankly unprofessional.

One might think you work in HR

I always find it weird when HR start sticking their noses in somewhere they don't belong, yet aren't doing anything about half the staff refusing to talk to the other half, staff almost engaged in physical combat, staff refusing to carry out normal work and other staff then being forced to cover it.

And yes I know a big part of that is management. :rolleyes:

Reviews and Books Galore

Feisar wrote: »

I've met one or two lads like that in my time. Some eye contact and "I don't fancy your chances however if you want to give it a go..." Has settled it.

One lad threatened to put me out the window, it was in a stacked porta cabin on a building site temp office. I locked the door and said, window's the only option now. Soon softened his attitude.

Okay, that's pretty cool.

jmayo

bigslick wrote: »

Working in HR these hurt my feels...

Sorry not biggest fan of HR at moment.
The ones at moment are inept and more interested in getting move up the chain than dealing with issues.
In fact things have gotten worse since they arrived on scene.

Before dedicated HR management didn't have excuse for can kicking, now it is the go to excuse.
And HR is more than happy with sticking nose into operations that should not concern them.

In past have met a few good people in HR, but most were best avoided.
Sorry that is just my opinion.

Reviews and Books Galore

Gremlinertia wrote: »

One lad who tells long winded stories about the day's happenings as if they directly affect him, then closes the conversation with "ah but sure you know yourself, not my circus, not my monkeys" Every. Single. Time.

Excuse the double post, but do you know that's a phrase in Polish? Is it a normal one in Ireland as well?

seamus

Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »

Excuse the double post, but do you know that's a phrase in Polish? Is it a normal one in Ireland as well?

It's not traditionally a phrase in Ireland, but I've heard it said a few times now in the last decade or so. I'd say the Poles are leaking.