Sh*te your co-workers say

Ken.

Mod-Translations will be provided in the post. Not a link to some other site.

JohnnyFlash

Dravokivich wrote: »

Tits you did. You made a statement and sent us to a reference document becuase you know most of us wouldn't understand it.

Us members of the lumpenproletariat need to be educated in the ways of the Gael by men such as Fuaranach.

An tUasal C

Nosnon wrote: »

Mod-Translations will be provided in the post. Not a link to some other site.

Did you just edit out the 'Irish language proverb' and replace it with the English?

Hardly providing a translation but removing the Irish full stop?

Ken.

An tUasal C wrote: »

Did you just edit out the 'Irish language proverb' and replace it with the English?

Hardly providing a translation but removing the Irish full stop?

I did by mistake. Fixed now.

An tUasal C

Nosnon wrote: »

I did by mistake. Fixed now.

Thank you.

BillyBird

The only good thing in the TV version of "What we do in the shadows": Colin Robinson the Energy Vampire

(Can't post a link but the youtube /watch?v=_nyZqO0AclU )

They have a misery vampire as well, she's not as well done.

threetrees

We have someone who might start an email to a new customer with "nice to e-meet you"

This person "reaches out" to customers, "circles in" others and "pings" emails.

ILoveYourVibes

Referring to a photo of a car...

Can you Photoshop it another color ?

Me : Yeah sure.

Can you Photoshop a country background?

Me : Yeah sure

Can you put a dog in it?

Me : oookay ....Will i get rid of the reflection of the photographer in the windshield and the bounce card?

Oh I hadn't noticed that.

wally1990

threetrees wrote: »

We have someone who might start an email to a new customer with "nice to e-meet you"

This person "reaches out" to customers, "circles in" others and "pings" emails.

Ah nooooo

batman1

We have a main office and 2 offices quite spread out around the country.
There is a technician who visits both places frequently and carries spares etc when he travels.

If he's scheduled to travel to both places on the same day, I inevitably get a phone call from head office saying that he might not be there until XXX time because of....'bi-locational issues'.
In other words, he has to go to both sites so might not get to you until after lunch.

I'd love to bi-locate my shoe up their hole

Deebles McBeebles

Used to do a bit of bi-locating when I was a young lad. Turned out to just be a phase.

Woke Hogan

Dravokivich wrote: »

Tits you did. You made a statement and sent us to a reference document becuase you know most of us wouldn't understand it.

Nosnon wrote: »

Mod-Translations will be provided in the post. Not a link to some other site.

Excellent work. I am all for language equality but "Gaeilge snobs" really get my goat.

Twenty Grand

Woke Hogan wrote: »

Excellent work. I am all for language equality but "Gaeilge snobs" really get my goat.

Someone p*ss in your cornflakes this morning? :rolleyes:

Woke Hogan

Twenty Grand wrote: »

Someone p*ss in your cornflakes this morning? :rolleyes:

I don't eat cereal.

ILoveYourVibes

Where is the?....everything in the entire office.

An tUasal C

Woke Hogan wrote: »

I don't eat cereal.

I’m sure you’re all for food equality, but you just despise processed grains. :rolleyes:

SuperGrover

Just finished a call where the phrase 'reach out' was used instead of 'contact' about a dozen times.

FFS.

Tomw86

SuperGrover wrote: »

Just finished a call where the phrase 'reach out' was used instead of 'contact' about a dozen times.

FFS.

This is very common, but doesn't make it any less annoying.

As well as this there is 'touch base', used to work with someone who used this constantly.

SuperGrover

Tomw86 wrote: »

This is very common, but doesn't make it any less annoying.

As well as this there is 'touch base', used to work with someone who used this constantly.

There was a scattering of those too.

Guill

I worked with one guy, if you met him on a Monday or Tuesday "Well, did you do anything at the weekend?"
If you met him on a Wednesday, Thursday or Friday "Any plans for the weekend?"

That was it, no conversation, just ask his go to question and move on. Every. Damn. Time.

Boom_Bap

evil_seed wrote: »

Bet you can't throw a shoe over a pub!

tickle him, tickle him

Turquoise Hexagon Sun

magic_murph wrote: »

People that microwave fish for lunch. Just stop.

rgmmg

Had a new one today. New girl in office wanted to say "reach out" and "circle around" but got them mixed up and said "reach around". That's my evening sorted.

most of these entries sound like such sullen projection its unreal tbh

are ye sitting there stewing all day about people who barely think of ye i wonder

Psychlops

A guy that works with me is very sly & 2 faced, thinks he knows it all, his way is better etc was being cosy to me as a manager has the same surname as me so I copped that even though im no relation to the manager but told him I was to drag it out as long as I could.

This guy comes into work 2 hrs before he is rostered & has been coming in fairly regular on his day off, its called a day off for a reason.

If you cant do your job in the time allotted to you then you must be incapable.

0gac3yjefb5sv7

Slightly separate but all the people that make calls at 7/8am on public transport...who the fk are they calling? Is there someone on the other side just in their kitchen taking the call?

the14thwarrior

them: good morning, great day. ! It'll be a super one!
me: i wouldn't know it hasn't happened yet.

every day for four weeks.

finally I said there's nothing good about the morning, and the day hasn't happened, can you please stop telling me this every single morning.

she reported me to her supervisor for unteam like behaviour

her complaint was upheld.
this was USA.

i got moved to another desk, and a Jov. witness girl (lovely girl) complained to her supervisor that i was taking the lord's name in vain all the time, and that i was affecting her. (you know.... ah jaysus, jesus christ etc.)
i told the supervisor her religion and my culture might be considered the same thing and my supervisor told me to carry on..........lol

A strange girl I worked with about nearly a decade back in a supermarket was insistent a colleague was a twin (he wasn't), and wouldn't let up on it, so another colleague got on to him and they created a Facebook page of the "twin", just changed his hair up, put up a few pics and for about a year she believed it was true until another colleague accidently told her it was fake.....

Nigel Fairservice

Pheonix10 wrote: »

Slightly separate but all the people that make calls at 7/8am on public transport...who the fk are they calling? Is there someone on the other side just in their kitchen taking the call?

I get the bus to work at 7.15 every morning and there's a guy on it who is always on the phone without fail. His conversations are just shooting the breeze type conversations. He must have some great friends if they're willing to talk crap with him at that hour of the morning.

Wildly Boaring

I work in construction.

Any of my clients, subbies or suppliers wpuld be open at 8. There are many groundworks companies start at 7 if there's no neighbours.

Can easily get a call off say a delivery driver from 7:30 on.

Often ring a couple mates in the same game from 7 on for a chat.

But very few of these peoples be on a bus/train