Sh*te your co-workers say

ILoveYourVibes · 24-05-2019 8:49am

You have to treat your clients like children.

flexcon · 24-05-2019 9:16am

The word “right”.

After every sentence they say right.

I am no longer sure if they actually are looking for a response or it’s a statement of fact. I’ve given up on it at this stage.

razorblunt · 24-05-2019 9:21am

So...

greenspurs · 24-05-2019 9:21am

or the one that starts every answer with a loooooonng puff of breath, just to demonstrate how stressed he/she is... then the misery starts.....

I love asking how they are just to see how long they can blow breath out for ………….

greenspurs · 24-05-2019 9:22am

"well, anyway …"

"I hear ya, but "

" shur ya heard me "

Paddy Cow · 24-05-2019 2:17pm

BuboBubo wrote: »

Worked with one of those a few years ago. One day I had enough of his ranting, and replied in a calm voice "yes, but nobody wants to live there".

That was 10 years ago, doubt I'd get away with it nowadays. However it shut him up!

You can still get away with it, you just have to be more passive aggressive. "I don't understand why you're here if it's so great over there" *pretend confused face*.

It's actually anti-Irish to not be allowed tell people to go home. Before we had foreigners and the only people migrating in Ireland were other Irish, they were referred to as blow-ins. You could be living in your new village/town for over 20 years but if there was a dispute you'd be let know your position in the pecking order :pac:

chrissb8 · 24-05-2019 3:41pm

Worked with one lady who was lovely and helpful but just annoying at times....

"Sure I don't care what anyone thinks about me, f**k it like, whatever"

Multiple times said to me over the one year I worked with her. Yeah I get it, no one cares enough to be thinking about you either so stop going on.

Then the last word thing jayyysssusss that was annoying. Had to have the last word, some weird no one gets one over me kinda thing. Usually started getting a bit passive aggressive but she would call it a bit of craic. Maybe I just look too much into things.

Paddy Cow · 24-05-2019 3:56pm

chrissb8 wrote: »

Worked with one lady who was lovely and helpful but just annoying at times....

"Sure I don't care what anyone thinks about me, f**k it like, whatever"

Multiple times said to me over the one year I worked with her. Yeah I get it, no one cares enough to be thinking about you either so stop going on.

Then the last word thing jayyysssusss that was annoying. Had to have the last word, some weird no one gets one over me kinda thing. Usually started getting a bit passive aggressive but she would call it a bit of craic. Maybe I just look too much into things.

People who say that over and over generally care a lot what others think about them but they want to come across as cool and not caring. They're not fooling anyone!

Not so civil servant · 26-06-2019 9:21am

One lad here whenever he is p*ssed off starts firing out emails to HR if he feels his GDPR rights are "under threat".

I feel so sorry for the guy in HR...it's relentless

jmayo · 26-06-2019 11:13am

Not so civil servant wrote: »

Have one dinosaur that makes constant inappropriate comments.

Told his manager that she was built for comfort not for speed.

Ah feck it.
You need characters to spice things up.
Otherwise life becomes very pale and boring.

Not so civil servant wrote: »

One lad here whenever he is p*ssed off starts firing out emails to HR if he feels his GDPR rights are "under threat".

I feel so sorry for the guy in HR...it's relentless

I just love how GDPR can scare the shyte out of HR and get them all in a tizz.
HR are usually clowns who are there to protect management and company so never feel sorry for them.

BTW at project meeting the other day decided I might start playing bingo.
Have project team member that said "going forward" and "forthwith" about 10 times.

I just kept thinking of Indians attacking somewhere like Fort Laramie.
Ok yes I was bored with listening to a bunch of managers who have no fooking concept of the project talking about firm timelines while at the same time refusing to do something about a project team member that is not alone incapable but disruptive and that I and the supplier lead consultant have highlighted as such.

Seanachai · 26-06-2019 11:57am

It's also the way that co-workers, or customers more so say things, I call it 'Business voice', it's usually really uptight PA's or the designated contact in a company who is usually a battle-axe. They talk in this clipped, ultra-blunt fashion that makes the hairs on your neck stand up. When you actually go out to site they look like the old matrons you used to see on hospital wards.

facehugger99 · 26-06-2019 12:10pm

The people, who's only purpose is to try and make problems, to attempt to justify their own positions. They literally add no value and slow everything down.

I'm looking at you specifically Legal and HR ladies.

jmayo · 26-06-2019 12:49pm

Just saw recent updated new HR policy where the definition of leave for death of immediate family did not include wife/husband/partner or daughter/son.

It gave every conceivable form of inlaw, half brother/sister, step brother/sister but not the main family members above.

According to their policy you are not allowed time off for the first category above.
If you are going to definite stuff to cover everything then do the fooking thing right.

Odelay · 26-06-2019 12:55pm

jmayo wrote: »

Just saw recent updated new HR policy where the definition of leave for death of immediate family did not include wife/husband/partner or daughter/son.

It gave every conceivable form of inlaw, half brother/sister, step brother/sister but not the main family members above.

According to their policy you are not allowed time off for the first category above.
If you are going to definite stuff to cover everything then do the fooking thing right.

Yeah that’s that new policy ........ or is it remotely possible you read it wrong or parts were excluded by accident?

bigslick · 26-06-2019 1:10pm

jmayo wrote: »

I just love how GDPR can scare the shyte out of HR and get them all in a tizz.
HR are usually clowns who are there to protect management and company so never feel sorry for them.

facehugger99 wrote: »

The people, who's only purpose is to try and make problems, to attempt to justify their own positions. They literally add no value and slow everything down.

I'm looking at you specifically Legal and HR ladies.

jmayo wrote: »

Just saw recent updated new HR policy where the definition of leave for death of immediate family did not include wife/husband/partner or daughter/son........

Working in HR these hurt my feels...

jmayo · 26-06-2019 1:12pm

Odelay wrote: »

Yeah that’s that new policy ........ or is it remotely possible you read it wrong or parts were excluded by accident?

No I know how to read well enough.
And if you are going to start rolling out a policy try and include the obvious ones if you are going to include every other fooking option.
Otherwise it looks half ar**ed and daft.
Frankly unprofessional.

One might think you work in HR

I always find it weird when HR start sticking their noses in somewhere they don't belong, yet aren't doing anything about half the staff refusing to talk to the other half, staff almost engaged in physical combat, staff refusing to carry out normal work and other staff then being forced to cover it.

And yes I know a big part of that is management. :rolleyes:

Reviews and Books Galore · 26-06-2019 1:13pm

Feisar wrote: »

I've met one or two lads like that in my time. Some eye contact and "I don't fancy your chances however if you want to give it a go..." Has settled it.

One lad threatened to put me out the window, it was in a stacked porta cabin on a building site temp office. I locked the door and said, window's the only option now. Soon softened his attitude.

Okay, that's pretty cool.

jmayo · 26-06-2019 1:16pm

bigslick wrote: »

Working in HR these hurt my feels...

Sorry not biggest fan of HR at moment.
The ones at moment are inept and more interested in getting move up the chain than dealing with issues.
In fact things have gotten worse since they arrived on scene.

Before dedicated HR management didn't have excuse for can kicking, now it is the go to excuse.
And HR is more than happy with sticking nose into operations that should not concern them.

In past have met a few good people in HR, but most were best avoided.
Sorry that is just my opinion.

Reviews and Books Galore · 26-06-2019 1:19pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

One lad who tells long winded stories about the day's happenings as if they directly affect him, then closes the conversation with "ah but sure you know yourself, not my circus, not my monkeys" Every. Single. Time.

Excuse the double post, but do you know that's a phrase in Polish? Is it a normal one in Ireland as well?

seamus · 26-06-2019 1:38pm

Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »

Excuse the double post, but do you know that's a phrase in Polish? Is it a normal one in Ireland as well?

It's not traditionally a phrase in Ireland, but I've heard it said a few times now in the last decade or so. I'd say the Poles are leaking.

Boom_Bap · 26-06-2019 1:58pm

One of my co-workers just came out with the most David Brent thing and told me they couldn't kick up to their shoulder.

I had to engage and prove them wrong, how dare they question my athleticism.

corner of hells · 26-06-2019 2:19pm

I prefer the simpler type of ejit , I've a colleague who during the recent referendum wanted everyone to vote injecting rooms to be brought in for addicts and today , professed her support for the striking nurses.

Pineapple1 · 26-06-2019 2:57pm

Worked with a girl last year who used to greet me every morning of the summer with "Did you see love island last night?", "No", "Do you watch love island?" "No"....Every. Single. Morning.

Badly Drunk Boy · 26-06-2019 3:12pm

I used to work a few hours some Saturdays, although thankfully not for over 10 years. I also like sitting alone in the canteen but didn't realise Saturdays had different rules, where everybody hangs out together.

I went for breakfast one Saturday, first person out, when all of a sudden, I'm surrounded. I knew I had to leave when the subject of the conversation turned to beans.

"The beans are really nice today, aren't they?!?" he commented, enthusiastically.
"Yeah, they're absolutely lovely!!".

Eh, they're the same baked beans from industrial-sized cans that you've been eating with your fry every morning, for years! Aaaarghhh!!!

ShyMets · 26-06-2019 3:53pm

I use to work beside a guy who every Monday without fail would turn towards gripping his stomach and say 'My bowels are in uproar' I never dared ask him why

Wanderer2010 · 26-06-2019 4:07pm

Co-worker who works downstairs rings me up, im in tech support, we have worked together 15 years. I have one phone extension, nobody answers it but me. I have my own office. With me?

Lets say my name is John. I get a call from him downstairs, I pick up the phone and say "Hello", He replies "Hi, John?".

Of course its John, it sounds like me, its my number and you have been ringing me 15 years. WHO THE FCUK ELSE WOULD IT BE?????? :mad::mad::mad:

begsbyOnaTrain · 26-06-2019 4:11pm

Pineapple1 wrote: »

Worked with a girl last year who used to greet me every morning of the summer with "Did you see love island last night?", "No", "Do you watch love island?" "No"....Every. Single. Morning.

What do you think of it this year?

Cordell · 26-06-2019 4:12pm

Pineapple1 wrote: »

Worked with a girl last year who used to greet me every morning of the summer with "Did you see love island last night?", "No", "Do you watch love island?" "No"....Every. Single. Morning.

So...did you?

evil_seed · 26-06-2019 4:13pm

Boom_Bap wrote: »

One of my co-workers just came out with the most David Brent thing and told me they couldn't kick up to their shoulder.

I had to engage and prove them wrong, how dare they question my athleticism.

Bet you can't throw a shoe over a pub!

Seanachai · 26-06-2019 4:14pm

Pineapple1 wrote: »

Worked with a girl last year who used to greet me every morning of the summer with "Did you see love island last night?", "No", "Do you watch love island?" "No"....Every. Single. Morning.

realdanbreen · 26-06-2019 4:22pm

So anyway ' I turned around and said. ....., and then 'she turned around and said. ......FFS! all day every day, good job we don't have access to weapons like the yanks do.

Hotblack Desiato · 26-06-2019 6:55pm

jmayo wrote: »

And yes I know a big part of that is management. :rolleyes:

Managers know there is no point trying to take on stuff like that when HR won't back them up.

Chinasea · 26-06-2019 7:12pm

6Technically not what they say, but stretching out and yawning loudly.

So needy, sloppy and annoying. We're all bleedin tired. I don't want to see your tonsils.

squawker · 26-06-2019 7:48pm

JustAThought wrote: »

PS
People who sneeky vape at their desks. Do.you think Im going to suffocate in silence and not report your poisoning me ? Seriously.

lol, now thats a prime example of sh*ite your co-workers say

pgj2015 · 26-06-2019 8:00pm

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Mad. Makes you wonder how women who had 15 kids managed just fine years ago with no boring on or sharing scans etc. Its a side effect of how narcissistic this generation is.

[ur

whisky_galore · 26-06-2019 8:01pm

"Happy Friday."

*Fück off*

simongurnick · 26-06-2019 8:05pm

whisky_galore wrote: »

"Happy Friday."

*Fück off*

I work with someone that says everyday!

"Happy tuesday!!"
"Is it...is it really?:

suicide_circus · 26-06-2019 8:05pm

talking about soap operas/love island/sport as a substitute for a personality.

jcorr · 26-06-2019 8:15pm

whisky_galore wrote: »

"Happy Friday."

*Fück off*

Surely that can't be that bad. It's the end of the working week!

whisky_galore · 26-06-2019 8:29pm

jcorr wrote: »

Surely that can't be that bad. It's the end of the working week!

Fecking cliché saying though. Not quite as annoying as the inane business speak that management types love to use.

wally1990 · 26-06-2019 8:49pm

more of ****e my coworkers do rather than say

Work with an older woman (I'm 28) and she is in her early 50s and sits across from me.

She is the Type of person that when she stands up over the desk looking at me and asks a question expects me to drop everything I'm doing and answer or expects me to get up and come around the desk to help her with the issue on the spot.

I do help her but Nornally when I reply with I'm in the middle of something I'll have to come back to you later (because I actually am) or can it wait 10 mins , she just let's out the biggest sigh. (Which is very rude)

Other times there are people chatting in the office loudly (which I don't mind because I'll throw on headphones , let them chat away) but this woma will ask me a question (not knowing I've headphones on)

, I won't hear her and she will come around to my desk and tap me on the shoulder.

I slowly remove the headphones and look up (yes????)

Her: can you have a look at something ?

Me: I'm busy right now but I will after I finish X

Her: but it's urgent

Me: ok , let's see

* Upon seeing the query /Issues *

ITS not ****ing urgent !!

Leave me alone woman and take responsibility for your own god damn work

She struggles with making decisions or understanding processes

She is stuck in her ways and no matter what different way she has being told something doesn't change

Drains the life from me when co workers depends on someone for an answer to Everything

Rant over

BlackandGreen · 26-06-2019 9:00pm

e: nevermind, not worth it.

26-06-2019 9:42pm

I wish some of my coworkers would just stop talking. Full stop. And start listening. Some people are totally oblivious to picking up on the mood of a room and in feeling the silence. It's as if they'll forget what they're going to say unless they keep talking. As the seanfhocal has it, Éist le fuaim na habhann agus gheobhaidh tú breac.Listen to the sound of the river and you will get a trout.

Woke Hogan · 26-06-2019 10:11pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I wish some of my coworkers would just stop talking. Full stop. And start listening. Some people are totally oblivious to picking up on the mood of a room and in feeling the silence. It's as if they'll forget what they're going to say unless they keep talking. As the seanfhocal has it, Éist le fuaim na habhann agus gheobhaidh tú breac.

Do most Irish speakers have to look up proverbs before they repeat them? In English we just know what they are from hearing them from our parents, life experiences et cetera.

26-06-2019 10:36pm

Woke Hogan wrote: »

Do most Irish speakers have to look up proverbs before they repeat them? In English we just know what they are from hearing them from our parents, life experiences et cetera.

I don't know; I obviously don't know most Irish speakers. However, I do know the charter here likes to see translations, so I linked to one. Why, for one so old, do you still have this eternal chip on your shoulder and pettiness about so many things?

Woke Hogan · 26-06-2019 10:41pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I don't know; I obviously don't know most Irish speakers. However, I do know the charter here likes to see translations, so I linked to one. Why, for one so old, do you still have this eternal chip on your shoulder and pettiness about so many things?

Temper, temper :rolleyes: I'm not the one complaining about my co-workers daring to speak around me.

Always Tired · 26-06-2019 11:08pm

Seanachai wrote: »

This is why I have no interest in management, I'd do a Reynholm and leave by the window if I had to listen to that double-speak.

FAAAAAAATHEEEEEEEEEER!!!

26-06-2019 11:16pm

Woke Hogan wrote: »

Temper, temper :rolleyes: I'm not the one complaining about my co-workers daring to speak around me.

In fairness, if you would also tell them to go off to ebay to buy "rickety stools" and "ropes" when they disagree with you, it's most probable you have no coworkers at all. Stay classy. Now, try and stay on topic.

jcorr · 26-06-2019 11:22pm

Not really a story about a co worker saying something but I worked in a place once where there was a woman who vibrated the floor.

Well she loved power walking through the office. I would have my head phones on and still I would feel the vibrations when she was walking through the office.

I don't know why she power walked like that. She had an hour glass figure, I mean one that would absolutely melt bank vaults and most of the guys would turn their head looking at her.

You know what really drove me up the wall, is sometimes I would look at her face and she would look away really quickly. Man, that's harsh darling. Really harsh. Lol.

Dravokivich · 26-06-2019 11:31pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I don't know; I obviously don't know most Irish speakers. However, I do know the charter here likes to see translations, so I linked to one. Why, for one so old, do you still have this eternal chip on your shoulder and pettiness about so many things?

Tits you did. You made a statement and sent us to a reference document becuase you know most of us wouldn't understand it.

Sh*te your co-workers say

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