Sh*te your co-workers say

Wanderer2010

Women of the workplace who have children:

Why oh why do you talk about them so much? Even if you don't think you are one of those women who drone on about their kids first words, their nightly routine, their habits in school, what they watch on tv etc etc, take an objective look back at how often you mention your kids. Here is a bit of advice for you: NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR KIDS.

What ever happened to just leaving your personal life at the door and just simply doing your work, these women who spend their whole working day talking about their kids make me sick.

uch

facehugger99 wrote: »

I used to work with a well-endowed lady, who would always wear low-cut tops. it felt like she was daring you to stare at her tits so she could label you the office perv to her buddies.

It's extremely difficult not to stare at someones tits if they lean over your desk and plop them right in you eyeline.

I'm convinced that she saw herself as some sort of 'Bridget Jones' type character.

I worked with a woman like that, first time she done it I just said 'Nice Funbags' and she never bothered me again, just all the other lads

yourdeadwright

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Women of the workplace who have children:

Why oh why do you talk about them so much? Even if you don't think you are one of those women who drone on about their kids first words, their nightly routine, their habits in school, what they watch on tv etc etc, take an objective look back at how often you mention your kids. Here is a bit of advice for you: NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR KIDS.

What ever happened to just leaving your personal life at the door and just simply doing your work, these women who spend their whole working day talking about their kids make me sick.

I gotta say this is one I don't mind, a mother love for there kids is just natural your own mother more thank likely did the same ,

Eve as a dad im guilty as hell at doing this ,

TaurenDruid

The guy who arrives into our office every day following football being on the TV night before, to talk about it for 15 minutes. The guys who indulge him...

The woman who repeats everything she says in a very slightly different way. The woman who says things twice, just slightly differently.

The person with the foghorn voice that's so loud I can hear their "quiet" conversations with the person next to them from 30 metres away; and they raise their voice whenever they're on the phone (because the other person is far away?)

But the worst isn't anything anyone says, it's what they do. What kind of man-child p1sses on a toilet seat and doesn't clean up after themselves? Apparently the one or more in my office! :mad:

Zorya

TaurenDruid wrote: »

The woman who says things twice, just slightly differently.

Oh no! I do that at home in my kitchen. And maybe even three or four times in different ways. I thought it was me being creative about trying to get himself to give a single damn about the boring but necessary parts of life I just mentioned...three or four times...slightly differently... five or six times ...ahem

Wanderer2010

yourdeadwright wrote: »

I gotta say this is one I don't mind, a mother love for there kids is just natural your own mother more thank likely did the same ,

Eve as a dad im guilty as hell at doing this ,

I asked my own mother about this and she said no, hardly anyone spoke about their kids once the clock in machine started back in her workplace. It seems to be a generational thing where mothers these days think that they were the only ones to ever give birth. Holding their stomach 24/7, sharing scans with people who just want to get their work done and generally sharing every single detail of their pregnancy with anyone within earshot.
Its called work for a reason and these women who waffle on endlessly about their kids are absolute bores of the highest order. Nothing wrong with loving your kids, but park it for the workday or you risk looking very unprofessional.

yourdeadwright

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

I asked my own mother about this and she said no, hardly anyone spoke about their kids once the clock in machine started back in her workplace. It seems to be a generational thing where mothers these days think that they were the only ones to ever give birth. Holding their stomach 24/7, sharing scans with people who just want to get their work done and generally sharing every single detail of their pregnancy with anyone within earshot.
Its called work for a reason and these women who waffle on endlessly about their kids are absolute bores of the highest order. Nothing wrong with loving your kids, but park it for the workday or you risk looking very unprofessional.

If its constant I feel your pain ,

Sardonicat

uch wrote: »

facehugger99 wrote: »

I used to work with a well-endowed lady, who would always wear low-cut tops. it felt like she was daring you to stare at her tits so she could label you the office perv to her buddies.

It's extremely difficult not to stare at someones tits if they lean over your desk and plop them right in you eyeline.

I'm convinced that she saw herself as some sort of 'Bridget Jones' type character.

I worked with a woman like that, first time she done it I just said 'Nice Funbags' and she never bothered me again, just all the other lads

Did she not bother you again cos she didn't know where the dole queue was?

Red Lightning

'Where are you throwing me?'

Zorya

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

where mothers these days think that they were the only ones to ever give birth. Holding their stomach 24/7, sharing scans with people who just want to get their work done and generally sharing every single detail of their pregnancy with anyone within earshot.

.

The holding the stomach lark :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: That Meghan Markle one must have her hand accidentally glued onto the front of every frock. It's kind of weird.

Deebles McBeebles

"What are you doing in the ladies toilets?"

Wanderer2010

Zorya wrote: »

The holding the stomach lark :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: That Meghan Markle one must have her hand accidentally glued onto the front of every frock. It's kind of weird.

Mad. Makes you wonder how women who had 15 kids managed just fine years ago with no boring on or sharing scans etc. Its a side effect of how narcissistic this generation is.

major bill

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

"What are you doing in the ladies toilets?"

I know, Seriously like, I get that all the time!!

DEFTLEFTHAND

Zorya wrote: »

The holding the stomach lark :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: That Meghan Markle one must have her hand accidentally glued onto the front of every frock. It's kind of weird.

Jesus she's painful.

Is it the son of God that she's carrying?

dresden8

Wrong proxy thread

Hotblack Desiato

uch wrote: »

I worked with a woman like that, first time she done it I just said 'Nice Funbags'

Lucky not to get your P45.

TaurenDruid wrote: »

The person with the foghorn voice that's so loud I can hear their "quiet" conversations with the person next to them from 30 metres away; and they raise their voice whenever they're on the phone (because the other person is far away?)

F**k loud people. We had one really loud guy and when he was leaving we thought great! Then he was replaced with an equally loud arsehole

Also f**k people with no concept of personal space, I don't want to be able to see your fillings or the hairs up your nose, thanks. I can hear you perfectly fine from a metre or two away.

But the worst isn't anything anyone says, it's what they do. What kind of man-child p1sses on a toilet seat and doesn't clean up after themselves? Apparently the one or more in my office! :mad:

Just before Christmas in work we had someone sh1t on the toilet floor on purpose, step in it and walk it all over the landing carpet. Had to get professional cleaners in

erica74

"oh I don't eat nuts because they're too high in calories" said while eating a king size pot noodle followed by a packet of crisps

devlinio

erica74 wrote: »

"oh I don't eat nuts because they're too high in calories" said while eating a king size pot noodle followed by a packet of crisps

That didn't happen did it? A pot noodle is like 600 calories.:eek:

erica74

devlinio wrote: »

That didn't happen did it? A pot noodle is like 600 calories.:eek:

Yep, she said it 2 days in a row, the second day she was eating chips covered in curry sauce

My response on the first day was "nobody asked you" and on the second day it was "nobody asked you yesterday and nobody asked you today".

mfceiling

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

"What are you doing in the ladies toilets?"

Taking a sh*t.

Baron Kurtz

Feisar wrote: »

I've met one or two lads like that in my time. Some eye contact and "I don't fancy your chances however if you want to give it a go..." Has settled it.

One lad threatened to put me out the window, it was in a stacked porta cabin on a building site temp office. I locked the door and said, window's the only option now. Soon softened his attitude.

Did you lock the door after or before the anal rape happened?

Paddy Cow

Not so civil servant wrote: »

RIP.ie is checked first thing in the morning, followed by details of every person around sick, dying, dead. I'm depressed by 9am. Tea break isn't much better - no matter what topic is brought up it inevitably winds back to cancer.

Old guy '' You cant even put your hand on a woman's knee in work now without it being called sexual harassment"
He's genuinely shocked by this.

That reminds me of being forced to listen to the death notices on the radio.

Paddy Cow

completedit wrote: »

People look into things too deeply here hahaha
The only real annoying thing on this thread is the full of himself twat with no self awareness who has managed to etch out himself a place as someone to be admired. I saw these ***** when I was a kid working as a barman, I didn't have the wherewithal back then but theee office parties would come in and you'd see soon after these bellends on action. You'd invariably have a gang of moths around him lapping it up. Very poor personalities but confident. Pricks
I haven't worked in an office job yet but should do come September. Looking forward to encountering one of these tossers

Give it six months in your new office job and I guarantee what seems like minor inconveniences will become hell on earth when you are forced to share a confined space with the same people every day!

Eggs For Dinner

mfceiling wrote: »

Taking a sh*t.

Only just realised that this well used phrase is backwards. Surely we give a shlt rather than taking one? Must ponder that now for the afternoon

Wildly Boaring

The office boss

Not any type of real boss. But the self appointed boss.

Charity fundraiser. A speciality.
IT issues... she'll try to ring the IT guy and gunter a description of the problem
You better believe she's union rep, fire warden and first aider.

Actual work???

Balanadan

TaurenDruid wrote: »

The person with the foghorn voice that's so loud I can hear their "quiet" conversations with the person next to them from 30 metres away; and they raise their voice whenever they're on the phone (because the other person is far away?)

If you're on the phone to someone in another town/county/country, how do you expect them to hear you if you don't talk loudly?

Edgware

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

Only just realised that this well used phrase is backwards. Surely we give a shlt rather than taking one? Must ponder that now for the afternoon

Isnt that what those little white bags in the Ladies are for?

LouD2016

Last year after buying the early bird Electric Picnic tickets I had to endure 2 weeks of listening to plans on how my co worker was going to get there.

Constant questions on buses and times and how many taxis did I think would be working that weekend.

A year in advance...and he lives 10 minutes from Stradbally.

Deebles McBeebles

"So there he was, strung off his face...."

Narc.

ILikeBoats

SIGH

Ugghhh SIGHHH

No I'm not going to ask you why you're sighing, you'll just bombard me with sh1te talk about your position which has absolutely nothing to do with me