Jastine Valdez found dead. No Ana discussion please. Mod warning post 1

Roger Hassenforder

Conservative wrote: »

I agree with you 100%. My only issue is I don't think anybody should have attended his funeral.

I doubt anyone attended to offer their condolences on their loss, more to show support to another destroyed family
You can have sympathy for his family, without diminishing sympathy for the Valdezs.

Her parents heartbreak and grief will pass with them. His kids grow up knowing what their father did, wondering could they have a monster inside as well. They have a lifetime of suffering ahead.

Strazdas

There was an interesting half hour discussion on Jastine on Marian Finucane this morning. What I didn't realise was just how unusual an event this was. They had an expert on this subject in studio and she said it's extremely rare for a woman in Ireland to be murdered by a complete stranger. The only two cases in recent memory were a Romanian girl in 2012 and the Swiss student Manuela Riedo about ten years' ago.

It does tell us just just how unbelievably unlucky poor Jastine was. The odds of her being abducted by a random maniac and murdered in a given year in Ireland would have been many millions to one.

ittakestwo

Both innocent families have been thorn apart by this. You would go to the funeral of MH if you knew a family member well and wanted to show support for them in an extremely difficult time.

sightband

ittakestwo wrote: »

Both innocent families have been thorn apart by this. You would go to the funeral of MH if you knew a family member well and wanted to show support for them in an extremely difficult time.

Well said

retro:electro

I can understand why people attended his funeral. His family need support too. It’s not their fault their son/husband/father was such a monster. Imagine being abandoned by everyone around you because someone related to you did something horrific. It’s not their fault.

KathleenGrant

retro:electro wrote: »

I can understand why people attended his funeral. His family need support too. It’s not their fault their son/husband/father was such a monster. Imagine being abandoned by everyone around you because someone related to you did something horrific. It’s not their fault.

Glad I don't know him. Yes his family need support, not their faults and I would hate for them to feel isolated. BUT!! I have daughters who have been really shaken by this crime, quite upset. I would have to be more concerned about MY family's feelings than about HIS family's so overall I would say no!

ThinkProgress

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

I doubt anyone attended to offer their condolences on their loss, more to show support to another destroyed family
You can have sympathy for his family, without diminishing sympathy for the Valdezs.

Her parents heartbreak and grief will pass with them. His kids grow up knowing what their father did, wondering could they have a monster inside as well. They have a lifetime of suffering ahead.

Why? They didn't kill anyone... Their dad was the psycho, but he's gone now!

They don't have to live in that shadow... I'm sure it's possible for them to move on with their lives and be happy. If you are suggesting that they will/should walk around feeling guilty for the rest of their lives... I disagree!

Conservative

retro:electro wrote: »

I can understand why people attended his funeral. His family need support too. It’s not their fault their son/husband/father was such a monster. Imagine being abandoned by everyone around you because someone related to you did something horrific. It’s not their fault.

Of course they need support. By all means hold a vigil in his victims name where people can show their support.

Attending any kind of service in his name is at best unwise.

iamwhoiam

Conservative wrote: »

Of course they need support. By all means hold a vigil in his victims name where people can show their support.

Attending any kind of service in his name is at best unwise.

Unwise ? For whom ? I doubt anyone is judging them as much as you are . It's their business how they choose to support a family who is deeply traumatised . If my good friend was in their position and she needed me then I would be there for her regardless of who judged me .

TomOnBoard

KathleenGrant wrote: »

Glad I don't know him. Yes his family need support, not their faults and I would hate for them to feel isolated. BUT!! I have daughters who have been really shaken by this crime, quite upset. I would have to be more concerned about MY family's feelings than about HIS family's so overall I would say no!

I certainly understand your point and see the dilemna. However, perhaps this would be a useful moment for a chat with your daughters to explain the dilemma and why you might have some sympathy for all the innocent victims of this tragedy, despite considering that the perpetrator acted monstrously and was downright evil in what he did. Working through that dilemna with them ( which I acknowledge wouldn't be easy,) could be a helpful life lesson that might help them achieve a sense of balance and tolerance in their own thinking and outlook.

BTW, I also have daughters and do understand the significant fear that this apparently random attack and subsequent murder engenders. However, I believe that as a society, we are overly fearful and creating undue anxiety in an already over-anxious world. Dreadful things happen. Is it more dangerous/worse today than in previous times? Personally, apart from in some criminal gang circles, I don't think so. However, I could be wrong.

It's a dreadful thing that Hennessy did. We need to extract ANY learning that we can from all the circumstances so that some good might come from the evil.

Conservative

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Conservative wrote: »

Of course they need support. By all means hold a vigil in his victims name where people can show their support.

Attending any kind of service in his name is at best unwise.

Unwise ? For whom ? I doubt anyone is judging them as much as you are . It's their business how they choose to support a family who is deeply traumatised . If my good friend was in their position and she needed me then I would be there for her regardless of who judged me .

There are always going to be voyeuristic weirdos and journalists at these things. His family should not have attended imo.

iamwhoiam

Conservative wrote: »

There are always going to be voyeuristic weirdos and journalists at these things. His family should not have attended imo.

Oh for heavens sake . Let the family grieve and leave them to judge their needs

retro:electro

Conservative wrote: »

There are always going to be voyeuristic weirdos and journalists at these things. His family should not have attended imo.

That’s for his family to decide. Not a relative stranger on the internet.

Conservative

retro:electro wrote: »

Conservative wrote: »

There are always going to be voyeuristic weirdos and journalists at these things. His family should not have attended imo.

That’s for his family to decide. Not a relative stranger on the internet.

Of course it's for them to decide! They just made the wrong decision in my opinion.

Attending is completely disrespectful to Jastine Valdez' family.

He should have been incinerated and dumped without any ceremony.

The Talking Bread

Conservative wrote: »

There are always going to be voyeuristic weirdos and journalists at these things. His family should not have attended imo.

You have made your point. You have CLEARLY missed the point of their attendance, which for most people is understandable, for some it is even a real sign of support and kindness towards the direct family who have to go through the ordeal.
Personally I wouldn't judge people for attending or not attending. There is no rational way how to conduct yourself in their position.

Conservative

The Talking Bread wrote: »

Conservative wrote: »

There are always going to be voyeuristic weirdos and journalists at these things. His family should not have attended imo.

You have made your point. You have CLEARLY missed the point of their attendance, which for most people is understandable, for some it is even a real sign of support and kindness towards the direct family who have to go through the ordeal.
Personally I wouldn't judge people for attending or not attending. There is no rational way how to conduct yourself in their position.

Perhaps I have.

What is the purpose of attending?

iamwhoiam

Conservative wrote: »

Of course it's for them to decide! They just made the wrong decision in my opinion.

Attending is completely disrespectful to Jastine Valdez' family.

He should have been incinerated and dumped without any ceremony.

Even Jastines family reached out a hand of comfort to the Hennessy family . Do you think they were disrespectful ?

TomOnBoard

Conservative wrote: »

Of course it's for them to decide! They just made the wrong decision in my opinion.

Attending is completely disrespectful to Jastine Valdez' family.

I suspect that Jastine's family would not share your opinion. During the week, the Consul to the Phillipines and the Filipino community as reported, were extremely generous in their compassion for the Hennessy family as reported in the Irish Times:

"The Filipino community in Ireland has offered prayers for the families of both Jastine Valdez and Mark Hennessy, the man who is believed to have killed her after he abducted her from Enniskerry, Co Wicklow, on Saturday."

Now, if they can be so generous in their understanding, would that not suggest that you might be on the wrong side of this?

Deusexmachina

Conservative wrote: »

Of course they need support. By all means hold a vigil in his victims name where people can show their support.

Attending any kind of service in his name is at best unwise.

You’re tenacious, aren’t you?

It has been explained multiple times by numerous posters here why some people went to his funeral.

Give it a rest

Conservative

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Conservative wrote: »

Of course it's for them to decide! They just made the wrong decision in my opinion.

Attending is completely disrespectful to Jastine Valdez' family.

He should have been incinerated and dumped without any ceremony.

Even Jastines family reached out a hand of comfort to the Hennessy family . Do you think they were disrespectful ?

Listen! I haven't once pointed a finger of blame at anybody other than than him.

I wasn't aware that her family had reached out to his but it's besides the point.

ted1

Maybe they went to pray for him, that I’d do pray he went to hell

Conservative

Deusexmachina wrote: »

Conservative wrote: »

Of course they need support. By all means hold a vigil in his victims name where people can show their support.

Attending any kind of service in his name is at best unwise.

You’re tenacious, aren’t you?

It has been explained multiple times by numerous posters here why some people went to his funeral.

Give it a rest

The only explanation I've gotten is guff about supporting the family and I've made my opinion clear on their presence already.

If JV family are at peace with the ceremony I can only admire their decency.

Clearly I don't share it.

TomOnBoard

Conservative wrote: »

Listen! I haven't once pointed a finger of blame at anybody other than than him.

I wasn't aware that her family had reached out to his but it's besides the point.

So what part of "Attending is completely disrespectful to Jastine Valdez' family" is not pointing a finger of blame at "anybody other than him'

The Talking Bread

Conservative wrote: »

Perhaps I have.

What is the purpose of attending?

Explaining is wasted on you it seems as you are not convinced. You are entitled to not want to attend in the circumstances, noone would judge your decision on here but fortunately you are not in the position to have to make that decision and the chances are you never will be.
But to judge that woman's family friends and his close family for attending is immature and shows a lack of empathy on your behalf.

Essentially what you are doing is hanging his wife, parents, two young innocent out to dry and telling them to deal with the circumstances. He is just a piece of ash now, but they are conscious beings.


Personally with that attitude when I am in my darkest darkest hour, you are the sort of person I wouldn't want to rely on to comfort me.

Sardonicat

Conservative wrote: »

Clearly I don't share it.

Crystal

Well done you.

Deusexmachina

Conservative wrote: »

The only explanation I've gotten is guff about supporting the family and I've made my opinion clear on their presence already.

If JV family are at peace with the ceremony I can only admire their decency.

Clearly I don't share it.

‘He should be fed to the lions’,
‘burn him and dump him’.....

Compassion isn’t your strong suit.

There were lots of victims in this tragedy - including his wife, children, parents and siblings.

Please drop the vindictive.

TomOnBoard

ittakestwo wrote: »

Both innocent families have been thorn apart by this. You would go to the funeral of MH if you knew a family member well and wanted to show support for them in an extremely difficult time.

"A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." - Len Wein

iamwhoiam

Conservative wrote: »

The only explanation I've gotten is guff about supporting the family and I've made my opinion clear on their presence already.

If JV family are at peace with the ceremony I can only admire their decency.

Clearly I don't share it.

Give it rest now . Enough

sightband

Conservative wrote: »

Perhaps I have.

What is the purpose of attending?

They wanted to disrespect Jastines family, that and they were giving out half price coupons on a supermacs big king meal on the way in. Can we leave it at that?

Conservative

sightband wrote: »

Conservative wrote: »

Perhaps I have.

What is the purpose of attending?

They wanted to disrespect Jastines family, that and they were giving out half price coupons on a supermacs big king meal on the way in. Can we leave it at that?

1/10

Deusexmachina wrote: »

Conservative wrote: »

The only explanation I've gotten is guff about supporting the family and I've made my opinion clear on their presence already.

If JV family are at peace with the ceremony I can only admire their decency.

Clearly I don't share it.

‘He should be fed to the lions’,
‘burn him and dump him’.....

Compassion isn’t your strong suit.

There were lots of victims in this tragedy - including his wife, children, parents and siblings.

Please drop the vindictive.

I have compassion for people deserving of it.

I have absolutely zero for him.

He got off lightly with a bullet in the head.

I'm sure many who attended will later regret that decision.

Good luck