The most self entitled thing you've ever seen....

Meangadh

mhge wrote: »

I invite you to clean up after my dog who's only 40kg and yet I need two hands to deal with the produce... Double that weight, add extra pints for a good explosion and trust me you wouldn't like to be anywhere near! Then you have smears and footprints...

Thanks for that! :P

Tarzana

Nekarsulm wrote: »

yer one then tells an ambulance man that she feels faint, and gets into the ambulance! It headed off to the hospital (18 miles away) and left the mum and kids at the side of the road....

I don't believe this. Triage would deem the injured child in more urgent need of care.

strandroad

Candie wrote: »

bowel impaction

Wow this thread educates too!

XxMCRxBabyxX

Tarzana wrote: »

I don't believe this. Triage would deem the injured child in more urgent need of care.

Feeling faint could be considered to be a sign of a head injury which I'm assuming would take priority?

XxMCRxBabyxX

Tarzana wrote: »

I don't believe this. Triage would deem the injured child in more urgent need of care.

Feeling faint could be considered to be a sign of a head injury which I'm assuming would take priority?

Ralf and Florian

Nekarsulm wrote: »

saw a young want plough her Almera into two stationery cars, which she had not noticed had stopped ahead of her. The one the directly hit had a mum sndlook two children under 4 in it, one child was badly hurt. I went over to the one that caused the crash and asked if the had ring an ambulance or the Gardai. No she says, Im low on credit! yet she was ringing family and friends all the while. someone else rang them and ambulance arrived and was helping the mum and kids. yer one then tells an ambulance man that she feels faint, and gets into the ambulance! It headed off to the hospital (18 miles away) and left the mum and kids at the side of the road....

I find that a teeny bit hard to believe.

Tarzana

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Feeling faint could be considered to be a sign of a head injury which I'm assuming would take priority?

Maybe, yeah. I think they'd do quick checks on both and weigh it up. Which maybe they did, it's not clear from the post. I still think the kid would likely get priority though.

auldgranny

mauzo! wrote: »

Nobody knows. He destroyed our bridal suite, my husband was on his hands and knees scrubbing it off the carpet at 6am. I woke up and almost vomited when he told me what it was. I thought that was it, not the worst thing ever. Then saw it on the stairs, the whole way down and at least 10 big logs at the bottom.

One of the groomsmen had to clean it off his floor, his toilet looked like it had been smeared with it, inside and out. The floors had poo footprints on them.

I can't fathom how he did it. My husband said he must have 'Shawshanked' it and just shook it out his trouser leg.

One boardsie stood in it

so on your wedding night you fell asleep and your husband cleaned **** off the floor. Kinky!!!

steddyeddy

maguic24 wrote: »

Not in public, never! I remember once having a bad case of the 24 hour vomiting bug, it was coming out both ends and there was no stopping it!

Although, I was in my own house and cleaned up my own sh*t.

There goes all my potential sexy PM's....:pac:

I was working in an African prison and got a severe case of travellers diarrhoea and heat stroke. I ended up having to run into the prison/showers with loads of naked Kenyans and expunging from both ends in front of them. The last thing they expected was a white man to run into the showers strip off and do an exorcist impression

Shakespeare's Sister

Never experienced the... "simultaneous" phenomenon when sick with a stomach bug/food poisoning. Separate stages only, thankfully.

Both together though - how utterly miserable. And how the **** do people manage the logistics of it?! :eek:

Un Croissant

Magaggie wrote: »

Never experienced the... "simultaneous" phenomenon when sick with a stomach bug/food poisoning. Separate stages only, thankfully.

Both together though - how utterly miserable. And how the **** do people manage the logistics of it?! :eek:

I can only guess but I guess you have explosive shíts while puking between the gap in your legs?

steddyeddy

Magaggie wrote: »

Never experienced the... "simultaneous" phenomenon when sick with a stomach bug/food poisoning. Separate stages only, thankfully.

Both together though - how utterly miserable. And how the **** do people manage the logistics of it?! :eek:

Cry in my case. There generally is a shortage of Andrex in African prisons

Shakespeare's Sister

Un Croissant wrote: »

I can only guess but I guess you have explosive shíts while puking between the gap in your legs?

You'd have to sit really far back.

Un Croissant

Magaggie wrote: »

You'd have to sit really far back.

And enjoy the show?

steddyeddy

It's easier when the toilet is a hole in the ground. Just aim both orifices down. Not so easy on a toilet I imagine.

Un Croissant

steddyeddy wrote: »

It's easier when the toilet is a hole in the ground. Just aim both orifices down. Not so easy on a toilet I imagine.

Explosive diarrhea is already so undignified without trying to aim it into a hole. All that leads to is very mucky shoes.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Lads, lads, lads....and ladies (I use that loosely!)

Enough with the talk of sh*tting, please?!

steddyeddy

steddyeddy wrote: »

I was working in an African prison and got a severe case of travellers diarrhoea and heat stroke. I ended up had to run into the prison/showers with loads of naked Kenyans and expunging from both ends in front of them. The last thing they expected was a white man to run into the showers strip off and do an exorcist impression

This is now my new favourite story of the thread . That is brilliant.

Magaggie wrote: »

Both together though - how utterly miserable. And how the **** do people manage the logistics of it?! :eek:

I'm not saying this has happened to me, but IF it did, and there was a dual-piston-like expulsion going on, I'd probably grab the plastic bin in the bathroom and evacuate the top end there while on the throne.

Not that it's ever happened.

Nope.

Un Croissant

Duracell Bunny wrote: »

Lads, lads, lads....and ladies (I use that loosely!)

Enough with the talk of sh*tting, please?!

Speaking of loose, I had an awful bowel movement earlier.

pragmatic1

Some of what's posted here isn't "self entitled", it's downright narcissistic.

Smidge

Candie wrote: »

This is now my new favourite story of the thread . That is brilliant.



I'm not saying this has happened to me, but IF it did, and there was a dual-piston-like expulsion going on, I'd probably grab the plastic bin in the bathroom and evacuate the top end there while on the throne.

Not that it's ever happened.

Nope.

A receptacle is always handy

Tarzana

Magaggie wrote: »

And how the **** do people manage the logistics of it?! :eek:

Puke into a bowl while shítting.

Bipolar Joe

Magaggie wrote: »

Never experienced the... "simultaneous" phenomenon when sick with a stomach bug/food poisoning. Separate stages only, thankfully.

Both together though - how utterly miserable. And how the **** do people manage the logistics of it?! :eek:

The one and only time I drank Guinness, I woke up with the shits and a God awful hangover. I knew that if I pooped, I was gonna be mopping up puke. If I puked, I would be mopping up poop. My solution was hop in the shower, turn it on and start crying in shame.

Know of someone getting married over the summer and like many unemployed they're heading off to Spain to do the deed. Guests got an invite which stated that they were required to all stay in the same hotel as the bride and groom and spend a minimum of a week there. Along with the invitation they send out a card telling guests that they did not want gifts bought as it would be unfair if they had to bring them back from Spain and as such cash was all they wanted. They went on to give the amount of cash they "required" as a gift from each guest, can't recall if it was €150 or €250 they suggested.

The cow getting married had her hen a few weeks back and all attending we're told that hair and make up would be done by a friend of the brides at her house. On the day, after everyone had theirs done the bride to be asked everyone to pay €20 for having their makeup done and €40 for the hair.

Later in when they were having the meal the bride made a big deal of ordering the most expensive thing on the menu as her meal "was being paid for by her friends". She ordered a bottle of €100 wine which she refused to share with anyone and didn't so much as put a €1 in towards the tip. In the in after she told her friends that she only expected them to buy her one drink each as "it would set be fair if some bought" her "more than one".

That anyone is going to the wedding or even friends with her shocks me. I know people going and think they're bigger fools. I know if I was invited I'd have sent back a letter telling her why she was a selfish and horrible human being. And before anyone says they feel sorry for the lad ages marrying, he's every bit the nasty and selfish dick that she is. They're well suited to one another, just a shame that so few people have any backbone these days.

AlanS181824

This thread... Seriously. Thank you all... Just, thank you,

LynnGrace

Deleted User wrote: »

Know of someone getting married over the summer and like many unemployed they're heading off to Spain to do the deed. Guests got an invite which stated that they were required to all stay in the same hotel as the bride and groom and spend a minimum of a week there. Along with the invitation they send out a card telling guests that they did not want gifts bought as it would be unfair if they had to bring them back from Spain and as such cash was all they wanted. They went on to give the amount of cash they "required" as a gift from each guest, can't recall if it was €150 or €250 they suggested.

The cow getting married had her hen a few weeks back and all attending we're told that hair and make up would be done by a friend of the brides at her house. On the day, after everyone had theirs done the bride to be asked everyone to pay €20 for having their makeup done and €40 for the hair.

Later in when they were having the meal the bride made a big deal of ordering the most expensive thing on the menu as her meal "was being paid for by her friends". She ordered a bottle of €100 wine which she refused to share with anyone and didn't so much as put a €1 in towards the tip. In the in after she told her friends that she only expected them to buy her one drink each as "it would set be fair if some bought" her "more than one".

Now THAT is self entitled...
And people are still attending the wedding...some people deserve what they get, putting up with that nonsense!

nice_very

this would be so epic if the wedding sh1tter was the flutt

GalwayGuy2

Un Croissant wrote: »

I have a lifelong bowel disease and have never shít myself. You're telling me I'm unusual in this aspect?

Isnt it ironic? Don't ya think?

That must be rough Are we talking irritable bowel or something, eh, a little wetter?

diomed

Poor Paddy.

suicide_circus

steddyeddy wrote: »

I was working in an African prison and got a severe case of travellers diarrhoea and heat stroke. I ended up having to run into the prison/showers with loads of naked Kenyans and expunging from both ends in front of them. The last thing they expected was a white man to run into the showers strip off and do an exorcist impression

...so many questions. .........