mhge wrote: » I invite you to clean up after my dog who's only 40kg and yet I need two hands to deal with the produce... Double that weight, add extra pints for a good explosion and trust me you wouldn't like to be anywhere near! Then you have smears and footprints...
Nekarsulm wrote: » yer one then tells an ambulance man that she feels faint, and gets into the ambulance! It headed off to the hospital (18 miles away) and left the mum and kids at the side of the road....
Candie wrote: » bowel impaction
Tarzana wrote: » I don't believe this. Triage would deem the injured child in more urgent need of care.
Nekarsulm wrote: » saw a young want plough her Almera into two stationery cars, which she had not noticed had stopped ahead of her. The one the directly hit had a mum sndlook two children under 4 in it, one child was badly hurt. I went over to the one that caused the crash and asked if the had ring an ambulance or the Gardai. No she says, Im low on credit! yet she was ringing family and friends all the while. someone else rang them and ambulance arrived and was helping the mum and kids. yer one then tells an ambulance man that she feels faint, and gets into the ambulance! It headed off to the hospital (18 miles away) and left the mum and kids at the side of the road....
XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: » Feeling faint could be considered to be a sign of a head injury which I'm assuming would take priority?
mauzo! wrote: » Nobody knows. He destroyed our bridal suite, my husband was on his hands and knees scrubbing it off the carpet at 6am. I woke up and almost vomited when he told me what it was. I thought that was it, not the worst thing ever. Then saw it on the stairs, the whole way down and at least 10 big logs at the bottom. One of the groomsmen had to clean it off his floor, his toilet looked like it had been smeared with it, inside and out. The floors had poo footprints on them. I can't fathom how he did it. My husband said he must have 'Shawshanked' it and just shook it out his trouser leg. One boardsie stood in it
maguic24 wrote: » Not in public, never! I remember once having a bad case of the 24 hour vomiting bug, it was coming out both ends and there was no stopping it! Although, I was in my own house and cleaned up my own sh*t. There goes all my potential sexy PM's....:pac:
Magaggie wrote: » Never experienced the... "simultaneous" phenomenon when sick with a stomach bug/food poisoning. Separate stages only, thankfully. Both together though - how utterly miserable. And how the **** do people manage the logistics of it?! :eek:
Un Croissant wrote: » I can only guess but I guess you have explosive shíts while puking between the gap in your legs?
Magaggie wrote: » You'd have to sit really far back.
steddyeddy wrote: » It's easier when the toilet is a hole in the ground. Just aim both orifices down. Not so easy on a toilet I imagine.
steddyeddy wrote: » I was working in an African prison and got a severe case of travellers diarrhoea and heat stroke. I ended up had to run into the prison/showers with loads of naked Kenyans and expunging from both ends in front of them. The last thing they expected was a white man to run into the showers strip off and do an exorcist impression
Magaggie wrote: » Both together though - how utterly miserable. And how the **** do people manage the logistics of it?! :eek:
Duracell Bunny wrote: » Lads, lads, lads....and ladies (I use that loosely!) Enough with the talk of sh*tting, please?!
Candie wrote: » This is now my new favourite story of the thread . That is brilliant. I'm not saying this has happened to me, but IF it did, and there was a dual-piston-like expulsion going on, I'd probably grab the plastic bin in the bathroom and evacuate the top end there while on the throne. Not that it's ever happened. Nope.
Magaggie wrote: » And how the **** do people manage the logistics of it?! :eek:
Deleted User wrote: » Know of someone getting married over the summer and like many unemployed they're heading off to Spain to do the deed. Guests got an invite which stated that they were required to all stay in the same hotel as the bride and groom and spend a minimum of a week there. Along with the invitation they send out a card telling guests that they did not want gifts bought as it would be unfair if they had to bring them back from Spain and as such cash was all they wanted. They went on to give the amount of cash they "required" as a gift from each guest, can't recall if it was €150 or €250 they suggested. The cow getting married had her hen a few weeks back and all attending we're told that hair and make up would be done by a friend of the brides at her house. On the day, after everyone had theirs done the bride to be asked everyone to pay €20 for having their makeup done and €40 for the hair. Later in when they were having the meal the bride made a big deal of ordering the most expensive thing on the menu as her meal "was being paid for by her friends". She ordered a bottle of €100 wine which she refused to share with anyone and didn't so much as put a €1 in towards the tip. In the in after she told her friends that she only expected them to buy her one drink each as "it would set be fair if some bought" her "more than one".
Un Croissant wrote: » I have a lifelong bowel disease and have never shít myself. You're telling me I'm unusual in this aspect? Isnt it ironic? Don't ya think?
steddyeddy wrote: » I was working in an African prison and got a severe case of travellers diarrhoea and heat stroke. I ended up having to run into the prison/showers with loads of naked Kenyans and expunging from both ends in front of them. The last thing they expected was a white man to run into the showers strip off and do an exorcist impression
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