Embarrasing Moments In Shops

endacl

Patchy~ wrote: »

and another guy's nana once asked for some "n*gger brown paint".

Like this guy?

Lady Chatterton

One night, I went to our local 24 hours filling station, when I was paying for my petrol at the hatch I asked the guy for a packet of Always.

Him: Which ones do you want?
Me: It doesn't really matter, whichever ones you lay your hand to first

He leaves the hatch and walks through the shop and I'm really confused.... that is until he returns with a packet of sanitary towels and I realise my mistake I had asked him for Always instead of Airwaves (Chewing Gum).

I was so embarrassed I reckoned it would be better to take them rather than trying to explain to him that I had mixed Always and Airwaves up :D

endacl

A friend was in a local record shop when we were teenagers in the late 80's.
He was browsing for a while, and came out holding a copy of Michael Bolton's 'Soul Provider'. He wasn't into MB. Didn't know any MB tunes. When we asked him why he paid good money for such a steaming pile of......., he told us that he got uncomfortable with the way the assistant was looking at him. As if he was about to nick something. So he bought the album to demonstrate that he wasn't 'up to no good'. That same summer he bought a fountain pen and a bicycle repair kit for the same reason. He didn't even have a bike...

Where To

endacl wrote: »

A friend was in a local record shop when we were teenagers in the late 80's.
He was browsing for a while, and came out holding a copy of Michael Bolton's 'Soul Provider'. He wasn't into MB. Didn't know any MB tunes. When we asked him why he paid good money for such a steaming pile of......., he told us that he got uncomfortable with the way the assistant was looking at him. As if he was about to nick something. So he bought the album to demonstrate that he wasn't 'up to no good'. That same summer he bought a fountain pen and a bicycle repair kit for the same reason. He didn't even have a bike...

Was he literate at least?

endacl

Where To wrote: »

Was he literate at least?

I wouldn't swear to it. He's an estate agent now.

admiralofthefleet

nocoverart wrote: »

I've been reading through a lot of this thread and some of the posts are very funny, but unfortunately a lot of them are IMO made up. No less than OP himself! very creative people you boardies are though.

ill get the father in law to open an account tomorrow

Lady Chatterton

I'd forgotten about this one -

MrsD007 wrote: »

I was shopping in Dunnes with my six year old daughter this evening. As we were going through the aisles she was telling me all about her day and this continued on until we reached the checkout.

Her: Did you like my stories Mammy?
Me: Yes 'X', I loved your stories
Her: Were they funny Mammy?
Me: Yes 'X', they were funny! You're a funny girl .... sometimes I wonder where you came from [and I hugged her]

Her: Mammy, You're very silly, I came from your [I'm waiting for belly] bottom. Josh [boy at school] told me that I came from your bottom. Now, Josh didn't come from your bottom, just me. Josh came from ....

All the customers in the queue and the checkout lady were bursting their sides laughing. She was thrilled with their reaction and now she thinks she is a comedian :D

dave98

A few years ago, it reached the time for me and the lads to buy our first condoms. We said we would buy a 12pk between us. We were so nervous. 3 of us headed into boots and spotted the condom section. We decided on a box. the other 2 lads waited outside while I paid. Must have walked the shop 3 times with nerves before I reached the counter. I finally paid - didnt even wait for a bag and walked out as fast as I could to the door when the security tag went off. The security guard called me back in and the holds the box up as he calls the cashier who shouts accross "sorry love forgot to remove the tag". I was so mortified I didnt want to wait so I said to the security guard keep them. My friends were laughing their heads off. The guard gave them back to me with the tag still on and laughed at us.
That wasntthe end though! After that we went into golden discs, walking out of that shop and the tag on the condom box set off thealarm there! mortified, hate buying them to this day!!

soap1978

Was in america on a ski trip with a load of lads went in to big supermarket to get drink for the bus home,was first in cue,girls takes the drink off me and asked PAPER OR PLASTIC which i respond by saying i will have a paper bag
The line busted them selfs lauging even the till girl,i went very very red

damagegt

The Royal Scam wrote: »

I posted this before in the "whats the most retarded thing..." thread before

was aged about 10 and in nutgrove sc and checking a new fancy cycling cap (like the ones sean kelly used to wear ) they had, it was real slick and low profile.
I struggled to put that b@stard on for 10 mins until the shop owner came over and told me it was a saddle cover

you sir, have been upgraded to first in my "greatest boards posts" beating the silvio berlusconi pasta related jokes.

endacl

dave98 wrote: »

A few years ago, it reached the time for me and the lads to buy our first condoms. We said we would buy a 12pk between us. We were so nervous. 3 of us headed into boots and spotted the condom section. We decided on a box. the other 2 lads waited outside while I paid. Must have walked the shop 3 times with nerves before I reached the counter. I finally paid - didnt even wait for a bag and walked out as fast as I could to the door when the security tag went off. The security guard called me back in and the holds the box up as he calls the cashier who shouts accross "sorry love forgot to remove the tag". I was so mortified I didnt want to wait so I said to the security guard keep them. My friends were laughing their heads off. The guard gave them back to me with the tag still on and laughed at us.
That wasntthe end though! After that we went into golden discs, walking out of that shop and the tag on the condom box set off thealarm there! mortified, hate buying them to this day!!

Should have gone to buy them in a music shop in the first place. If ye chickened out ye could have chipped on for a Michael Bolton album to cover your nefarious motives.

Stheno

I got stuck trying to get out of a dress in a dressing room, it halted at my bosoms and refused to move.

Ten minutes later I extricated myself.

endacl

Stheno wrote: »

I got stuck trying to get out of a dress in a dressing room, it halted at my bosoms and refused to move.

Ten minutes later I extricated myself.

Halted under on the way up, or above on they way down?

Question motivated by engineering interest, I hasten to add!

Where To

Stheno wrote: »

I got stuck trying to get out of a dress in a dressing room, it halted at my bosoms and refused to move.

Ten minutes later I extricated myself.

That's nice, but did you get out of the dress?

handbagmad

Stheno wrote: »

I got stuck trying to get out of a dress in a dressing room, it halted at my bosoms and refused to move.

Ten minutes later I extricated myself.

something similar happened to me a few years back. I was trying on a fitted top. I got it on alright but it was like a straight jacket on me. Went to take it off...que panic stations.
bloody thing wouldn't move and the more stressed I got the worse. I had to call my sister to come into the cubicle and try to get the thing off. Eventually had to rip it:(
:PLost a bit of weight since then

Stheno

Where To wrote: »

That's nice, but did you get out of the dress?

Eventually with no one assisting me.

Then I had a boob reduction.

Never happened again

350125GO!

soap1978 wrote: »

Was in america on a ski trip with a load of lads went in to big supermarket to get drink for the bus home,was first in cue,girls takes the drink off me and asked PAPER OR PLASTIC which i respond by saying i will have a paper bag
The line busted them selfs lauging even the till girl,i went very very red

I don't get it?

Witchie

Whether he was paying with cash or card.

Plankton1

Was working on a till at a very busy time. Staff member next to me asked what I was going to get for lunch at the same time as I was about to call the next person in the Q.
So I turned to face the Q, looked the first person in the eye and shouted at the top of my lungs "chicken roll!" instead of "Next!"

Another time, when I was a teenager, we were bag packing as a fundraiser. I went to put a woman's box of tampons into a plastic bag when i somehow dropped it and the box opened, tampons spilling everywhere, I nearly died scrabbling round on the ground to pick them up.

AngryHippie

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

as long as the werent 'neapolitan' youd be grand

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=neapolitan

This is right on the top of the list of things I didn't need to know. And wish I could un-read and un-know.

Down with that sort of thing:eek:

endacl

AngryHippie wrote: »

This is right on the top of the list of things I didn't need to know. And wish I could un-read and un-know./QUOTE]
Me too. Thanks. Nice one...

:eek:

Smidge

AngryHippie wrote: »

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=neapolitan

This is right on the top of the list of things I didn't need to know. And wish I could un-read and un-know.

Down with that sort of thing:eek:

I've just read that now and sweet mother that is some twisted stuff.
Punching people in the face as part of sex now????:eek:

*hangs head and weeps*

Yillan

Not me, but a story a friend told me of his friend's father going into a shop. Man brings bouquet of flowers to the till.

Cashier: Lucky lady!
Man: Dead boy

Man was bringing the flowers to the funeral of his nephew

endacl

Yillan wrote: »

Not me, but a story a friend told me of his friend's father going into a shop. Man brings bouquet of flowers to the till.

Cashier: Lucky lady!
Man: Dead boy

Man was bringing the flowers to the funeral of his nephew

Why do I imagine the man sounded and looked exactly like Jack Dee...?

Ruudi_Mentari

Kicking over a bottle of coke some dick left in the aisle.. thud. pssshhhhhhh...

oh, fizz. Left it there

Apanachi

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

who the fuck would do a pony right in the middle of a supermarket?

OK not quite what you meant but:

whitewave

I wasn't the customer in this situation, but worked in a men's clothes shop and was helping a guy find a pair of jeans. He wanted to try on a few different pairs, so I found a few in his size, told him to start trying them on and I'd pass in a few more once I found them.

About three minutes later I was down the back of the shop trying to find his size when he strolled the length of the shop in a lovely pair of nice tight-whiteys, wondering what others ones he could try on.

It was all I could do to not run away screaming (I was an innocent 16 year old girl at the time )

Lollipops23

whitewave wrote: »

I wasn't the customer in this situation, but worked in a men's clothes shop and was helping a guy find a pair of jeans. He wanted to try on a few different pairs, so I found a few in his size, told him to start trying them on and I'd pass in a few more once I found them.

About three minutes later I was down the back of the shop trying to find his size when he strolled the length of the shop in a lovely pair of nice tight-whiteys, wondering what others ones he could try on.

It was all I could do to not run away screaming (I was an innocent 16 year old girl at the time )

I know someone who worked in the lingerie section of a department store, and aul one insisted on trying on a bra out on the shop floor, refused to go to the fitting rooms.

Apparently it was likened to 2 tangerines in a pair of socks :eek:

abacus120

Clive wrote: »

I was working security in a big city centre store when a fairly dishevelled looking old man came in. He came straight up to me and asked, "sorry son where could I find the socks?". I pointed him in the right direction and radioed the person working the CCTV to keep an eye on him. The call came back a minute later that he had just selected some socks and was paying at the till. No problems there.

A further minute passed and I got another call to escort the gentleman out of the store. Not knowing what happened I headed to the escalator, only to see him on his way down already.

"Thanks for that son", he said, as he passed me going to the door. It was only at that point that I realised he indeed didn't have any socks on. The reason I noticed was that the poor man had scuttered himself, it had run down his leg, filled up the space in his shoes and was overflowing and dribbling onto the ground.

There was a trail from the cash register two floors up right out onto the street.

Ah god thats terrible,poor man

cantdecide

Only for knowing almost everyone concerned, I would doubt this happened:

When my friends and I were in our early twenties, a close friend worked in a quiet local bar. I would regularly call in and hang out (and not drink). There was a local that was maybe ten years older than us and was a sound ol' soul but a bit of a drunk.

One mid-week night, he left the bar and was walking the mile or so home. He called into the local 24hr garage for cigs or something and found the shop doors smashed in and the shop empty. He figured out the place had been raided and decided he didn't want to spend the night filling out forms for the Guards so buggered off.

What had happened was another mate of ours was working in the garage when it was raided and he jumped into the managers office and rang the Guards while the raiders ransacked the place for money and whatever else they were after. After they escaped, seemingly on foot (it was thought they might scobe teenagers), the Guards arrived "less than a minute" later so they hastily bundled my mate into the car to quickly sweep the local waste grounds because they couldn't have gotten far.

Back to our friend walking home. He's pootling along, minding his own business and next thing a squad car speeds up next to him, two guards jump out and grab him and wrestle him to the ground as my other mate from the garage in a moment of confused stupidity declares 'Ya-he's definitely one of them' as he got hauled off to the slammer. He was released shortly after, of course but f*** knows what was going through my mate, the garage guy's mind but he has never lived down! The scobes got away.