Embarrasing Moments In Shops

vitani

Proco Jr. wrote: »

How did you manage to pick up your size when women's sizes are done differently, size 8/10/12 as opposed to 32/34inch waist?

Women's jean sizes are quite often in inches rather than the standard dress sizes.

hfallada

I was in boots yesterday and went to grab a sample bottle of aftershave but didn't realise there was a glass door on the case. I went to grab the bottle but smacked my hand, The shop assistant was speaking me as if I was challenged

BoardsMember

Sitting at a table in college with college friends, mostly girls, first year so didnt know them well at all. Having a cup of coffee, was rustling in my pocket for a lighter, found an old piece of wrapper or something, and scrunched it as I threw it into the ashtray. It opened up slowly, gracefully, to identify itself clearly as a used condom wrapper. Very embarrassing as it opened and people realised what it was, all eyes on the fella with the red face.

Kenjataimu

vitani wrote: »

Women's jean sizes are quite often in inches rather than the standard dress sizes.

I stand corrected

conorhal

Proco Jr. wrote: »

I stand corrected

And I stood in the ladies changing room baffled by why they were so ball-crushingly tight.

I'm lucky the Guards weren't called!


Since then I've lived by that Jedi moto, 'always be mindful of your surroundings young padawan'..

starling

enniscorthy wrote: »

not quiet a shop experience but went out for family meal once with wife kids etc and recognised the waitress from the night previous who was broadcasting live on cam4 hehe took out my iphone and started showing everyone the screen caps hehehe oh she was morto hahahaha talk about embarassing moments hohohoho dont get me started on that one mate she was humiliated beyond belief

That sounds made up. I really hope it is because why would you do such a sh1tty thing to some girl. Was the wife impressed?

Dublin Chick wrote: »

Last went I went to the Esso and my spare knickers (YES every NORMAL woman carries a pair) went flying across the counter at the teller when I went to pay and he had to hand them back to me in front of a large queue.....OF COURSE they were not the sexy kind but they were clean at least!

WTF, that's not normal...

Some years back I went to germany with some friends because one of our mates had emigrated there and was now getting married. I had studied German but it had been years since I'd graduated and I'd never actually been to germany before. I was a bit nervous about trying to dredge up my rusty German and for the first day or so I kept quiet and let the lads do the talking.

On the morning of the wedding we had run out of cigarettes so we stopped in at a little tobacconists run by a friendly little Turkish man, about 50 I'd say. He was very smiley and polite but didn't speak any English.

Around that time my best mate, let's call him John, and I were both smoking silk cut blue and didn't want anything too strong. But all the brands were unfamiliar so we stood there for a few minutes staring at the cigarettes behind the counter. We were the only people in the shop. Our other mates were waitin by the door, they didn't smoke.

Finally John, who had spent time in germany some years before, pointed out a packet of cigarettes and bought them, saying to me "If I remember right these are about the same as silk cut blue." So I decide right, I might as well give them a go.

John's already heading for the door because he wants to have a cigarette before we get in a taxi to go to the wedding, so I'm alone with the little Turkish fella smiling at me in a polite, avuncular kind of way. This is the first time I've tried to speak to a German person and I'm quite relieved that I can ease into it with a simple transaction in a shop. With a big smile, I say to him,
"Ich möchte die samen Zigaretten, bitte."
{ "I'd like the same cigarettes please." }

The wee fella's smile falters a tiny bit and he pauses for a couple of seconds; we stand there looking at each other and I wonder what the problem is before he gets that 'lightbulb' kind of look and goes,
"Ah...die Damenzigaretten!"
{"Oh! Ladies' cigarettes!"}

He presents me with a packet of cigs with flowers on the front and from the shape of the box it's clear these are those long, very slim cigarettes marketed to women. Which I hate, so I am very determined when I tell the shopkeeper, pointing to John who is outside the window smoking,
"Nein, nein! Die samen Zigaretten, wie mein Freund!"
{"No, no! The same cigarettes my friend bought!"}

By the way "Freund" can mean either "friend" or "boyfriend" depending on the context.

So now the shopkeeper appears to be at a loss, and is just staring at me. He's still smiling faintly but clearly confused and might be eyeing me a little pityingly. Obviously I am not getting my message across, and I just freeze up, like I'm thinking, "Quick, brain, think of another way to say this!" and my brain is going "Fcuk it, I tried." I'm also getting antsy from lack of nicotine, so it's not looking good for the aul grey matter.

One of the lads comes in wondering what the hold up is, and when I explain to him, he asks properly for the cigarettes, and finally I get to satisfy my addiction.

It's only much much later, after the ceremony and the wedding dinner etc, that I finally remember "samen" does not mean "same." In my nervous and nicotine deprived state my brain had mixed up the words.

What I had actually said to this poor man was

No, no! I want the semen cigarettes, like my boyfriend's!"

Happily, once we recovered from laughing, my nerves about trying to speak German had gone and I was able to speak to a bunch of people, including flirting with some dude at the wedding for quite a while. (Bonus, my story made a great icebreaker:pac:)

markomuscle

starviewadams wrote: »

I have social phobia/anxiety so every moment I spend in any shop is embarassing and awkward to me,even if nothing normal folk regard as embarrasing happens.

It's a pain in the arse,though I do save money,just by avoiding going into them as much as is humanly possible.

me too, I rarely go to a shop that doesn't have self-checkouts anymore

DipStick McSwindler

This post has been deleted.

kfallon

IrishFeeney92 wrote: »

Customer "Can I get Dance Central with that xbox kinect please?"

Me "You not buying this for your son?"

Customer " Yeah but hes a little bit fruity so id say he'll like it"

I lol'd, nice darts!

CuppaCocoa

Was with my elderly mother in the local hardware shop last year. She wanted to buy bird food for the wild birds in her garden. She asked me what do you call the grease balls you hang up? 'Fat Balls' says I. Up she went to the counter and asked the young guy who was serving there "excuse me, do you have fat balls?". The poor guy got a nervous twitch in his eye but managed to compose himself and say "no sorry, we're out of them at the moment". Cue me snorting with laughter behind her. She was morto when she discovered her faux pas!

starling

IrishFeeney92 wrote: »

Couple of funny things have happened to me while working in Retail

Another lad approached me and said "Could you tell me where you keep your Al Pacinos?"

I lol'd at all your quotes but I'm still wondering what he meant by that, am I a bit slow today or what?

Sky King

went into my local spar for a packet of yellow m and m's. At the counter I reached into the pocket and pulled out what I thought were crumpled up banknotes and threw them on the counter. It was a big pile of old yellow m and ms wrappers. Embaressing.

pat_cork

I was on the deli in work the other day and a man asked for a hot chicken roll. I gave it to him and he thanked me and said that's perfect now lad. He came back in about ten minutes later and started roaring and cursing at me that the chicken in the roll wasn't hot enough. I stuck the temperature probe into a chicken that was in the glass thing and it read 72° C so I waited for him to stop shouting then I said: "The best thing you could do with that roll is shove it up your ****ing hole and see how cold it is then." There was a good crowd of people in the shop and they all started laughing; that made the man even angrier.

The owner then came out and told me to give him back his money and he told the man to never come in here again for treating one of his staff like that. I expected to get given out to for cursing at the customer but the owner thought it was hilarious and he said well done for remaining so cool while dealing with a prick like him.

DipStick McSwindler

This post has been deleted.

Birneybau

Sky King wrote: »

went into my local spar for a packet of yellow m and m's. At the counter I reached into the pocket and pulled out what I thought were crumpled up banknotes and threw them on the counter. It was a big pile of old yellow m and ms wrappers. Embaressing.

Alan Partridge and Toblerones popped into my head there!

Celly Smunt

Went into a shop with my brother earlier (he works in a centra).As the girl finishes scanning his items he looks at the screen and says to the girl "that's 5.20 please".Ive never seen a face go as red as his did today.

Faith+1

pmcmahon wrote: »

Went into a shop with my brother earlier (he works in a centra).As the girl finishes scanning his items he looks at the screen and says to the girl "that's 5.20 please".Ive never seen a face go as red as his did today.

OldNotWIse

pmcmahon wrote: »

Went into a shop with my brother earlier (he works in a centra).As the girl finishes scanning his items he looks at the screen and says to the girl "that's 5.20 please".Ive never seen a face go as red as his did today.

Ahahaahaaaaa thats brill, nearly fell of the chair laughing here. I can just imagine the tumbleweed that followed lolol

Celly Smunt

Faith+1 wrote: »

My brother accidently reversed roles with the cashier.

languagenerd

In my old job in a clothes shop, I was on the till and it was pretty busy, so I was trying to empty the customer's basket of clothes as quickly as possible. As I was pulling the clothes out, I started to ask if they wanted to keep the hangers - when one of the hangers I pulled out somehow spun in the air and landed ON THE ARM OF MY GLASSES. So there I am, asking "Would you like to keep the hangers?", with a hanger attached to my face.

Couldn't have done it again if I'd tried!

I also once asked for "Three tourist tickets to The Student" instead of three student tickets to The Tourist in the cinema

Apanachi

IrishFeeney92 wrote: »

SOme poor fool confused his word and asked me "could you tell me where the cocporn is please?"

Cocporn - now that's funny!!!!:D

fussyonion

I always muddle my words up. Most recent one was in The Square and I had just received my change from the cashier and said "Manks a fillion" instead of "thanks a million".

LuciusPax

I used to work in a petrol station back when I was around 18 and a new guy had just started and was working on the tills. He was a nice guy but was of a particularly nervous and jittery disposition. Anyway some old grumpy geezer (in his 70's maybe) came into the shop and asked for Condor(the pipe tobacco). I had no idea why but the poor new guy got really flustered for some reason and after faffing about for abit he hands the old boy a packet of 10 'ribbed for her pleasure' condoms. The old guy thought the guy was taking the piss and went mental, " Are you havin' a f***in' laugh!?I wanted Condor tobacco you f***in' loo-lah, Condor!!"

pharmaton

Guy came into work last week and asked for two bottles of chloroform and a packet of nurofen plus for his missus.

(work in a chemist)

He was looking for the chloroform to use as a solvent in his plastic production company..and the nurofen for his missus.



and no I didn't give them to him if anyone is wondering

Witchie

Apanachi wrote: »

Cocporn - now that's funny!!!!:D

My kids and I used to play a game where while talking to each other we would change the first letter of words around. Stopped doing it when we were going to watch a movie once and I asked if they wanted cop porn. Cringe.

fussyonion

Witchie wrote: »

My kids and I used to play a game where while talking to each other we would change the first letter of words around. Stopped doing it when we were going to watch a movie once and I asked if they wanted cop porn. Cringe.

Hahahahhaha

leahyl

miss_shadow wrote: »

This wasn't embarrassing for me As I was an onlooker but...

Was in Dunne's one day, making my way down the main isle past all the clothes to do a bit of food shopping.

As I got a bit closer I could see the manager, superviser and a few assistants looking rather disgusted and puzzled. The manager was making slow movements, his head darting all around.

Then an assistant came along with a bucket, and as she set up her cleaning gear I took a look down to see a big sh!t in the middle of the isle and smear marks taking off from it all the way out of the entrance.

It was by far the amusing thing I've seen in a shop. What's even stranger is that none of the customers gave a cr@p (bar one) , didn't even bat an eyelid! Just carried on about their business like it happens all the time.

Still puzzles me to this day as to who did it and why!

If this is the same Dunnes I'm thinking of then I think I must have witnessed the same piece of ****!!

razorblunt

hawkeyethenoo wrote: »

was in new york when i was about 15, went into footlocker with my mam and sister. saw these pair of black nike runners. called over the black sales man who was walking around enthusiasticly helping everyone to ask for the runners in my size. he then shouted out loudly THOSE ARE WOMENS MAN and the whole shop starting looking at me as if i was some freak who wanted a pair of womens runners.

If you had asked for a size 6 to 8, I'd have told him shut up and go get them.

markievicz

Not necessarily me but its funny anyway!
Used to work in a large retailer while I was in college, this one Saturday morning I was working on the tills with another older lady (mid 50's). This woman comes in looking for batteries, I tell her where the stand is and off she goes to find the batteries. She comes up to the tills a few minutes later and is served by the older lady.
This followed;
Worker; did you not get the batteries you were looking for?
Customer; no, I didn't. Ah sure ill get them in town somewhere.
Worker; what size are you looking for? We might have them out the back.
Customer; ah no it's grand it's a strange size anyway.
Worker; what size?
Customer; N batteries
Worker; N? I've never heard of them before. Are you sure it's N? What are they for?
Customer; yeah I'm sure. Don't worry about it.

This continued for further five minutes back and forth with your one trying to find out what N batteries might be for until the customer finally relented and shouted;

They're for a vibrator, the N batteries are for a vibrator ok?

I nearly died laughing from the other end of the tills, needless to say the older lady never asked questions again!

Mariasofia

I had to remove my son fairly quickly from a shop once when he decided to pee in the toilet of a bathroom display! I couldn't fault his initiative though as I was toilet training him at the time.