Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Fluorescence

coolhull wrote: »

'' Share this if you love your child with all your heart''

And the subtext is : if you don't share, then you don't give a sh1te for your child.....

Such absolute crap

Like the current trend, "Like this in 3 SECONDS if YOU'RE NOT A RACIST"

:rolleyes: /facepalm

coolhull

Or "like if you miss your loved ones who are gone to Heaven"..... ffs

wnolan1992

Fluorescence wrote: »

Like the current trend, "Like this in 3 SECONDS if YOU'RE NOT A RACIST"

:rolleyes: /facepalm

Haven't seen those ones, but I have a feeling there's a certain degree of irony behind them....

KamiKazeKitten

Only in Roscommon would a customer arrive up to buy a litre of milk off you, explaining that the cow is dry...

Saw this one and laughed!

coolhull

And I saw this on Christmas week:
'' A man has been spotted in Kilkenny this morning, going from door to door ''

Turned out to be the postman

PizzamanIRL

Dear Brain, I would genuinely appreciate if you would shut the **** down and let me sleep! Yours sincerely, your pissed off owner.

Getting off Facebook might help.

I see these type of status' every night

BUBBLE WRAP

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Getting off Facebook might help.

I see these type of status' every night

He/She calls their computer "Brian"? Now that's just cringe worthy....

gnfnrhead

BUBBLE WRAP wrote: »

He/She calls their computer "Brian"? Now that's just cringe worthy....

Read it again :P

Knockout_91

I too read that as Brian ...

MaxSteele

Fluorescence wrote: »

Like the current trend, "Like this in 3 SECONDS if YOU'RE NOT A RACIST"

:rolleyes: /facepalm

*Posts picture of Rwandan civil war 1994* :cool:

coolhull

MaxSteele wrote: »

*Posts picture of Rwandan civil war 1994* :cool:

Or pictures of the Martin Luther King march in 1967

Tetra

"Wow really you know what I am going to step back and bite my tongue for now if you're trying to p*** me off it's not working all I wanted to do is talk to my kids I could give a f*** about anybody else. Can't nobody ever ever take my place and it is what it is but it won't be for too long I I been doing all the Parenting since my kids came home and since they been born they are not getting mines that easy and not about to try to play me either. go ahead and try to not let my kids talk to me they just going to hate you and then I'm their mother I will always be there mother I never kept them from you let my children call me and stop thinking about yourself. I don't care who writes what I got to say don't know me you'll live in my house don't know your walk in my shoes don't know you'll see what I go through so you can feel free to call me if you would like to but it is what it is I'm about to get back to me and mines in get my house together. just all you haters and snakes in the grass leave me the f*** alone because I don't bother you so don't f****** bother me"


^^^^ Saw this on my newsfeed earlier

MrStuffins

Tetra wrote: »

"Wow really you know what I am going to step back and bite my tongue for now if you're trying to p*** me off it's not working all I wanted to do is talk to my kids I could give a f*** about anybody else. Can't nobody ever ever take my place and it is what it is but it won't be for too long I I been doing all the Parenting since my kids came home and since they been born they are not getting mines that easy and not about to try to play me either. go ahead and try to not let my kids talk to me they just going to hate you and then I'm their mother I will always be there mother I never kept them from you let my children call me and stop thinking about yourself. I don't care who writes what I got to say don't know me you'll live in my house don't know your walk in my shoes don't know you'll see what I go through so you can feel free to call me if you would like to but it is what it is I'm about to get back to me and mines in get my house together. just all you haters and snakes in the grass leave me the f*** alone because I don't bother you so don't f****** bother me"


^^^^ Saw this on my newsfeed earlier

"You ok hun?"

- "Don't want to talk about it"

Quazzie

So these loyalist scum want to parade through the city they terrorised next weekend wanting to ban our tricolour flag, they gotta realise it dont matter where abouts you are on this island its ireland north or south and we let their queen go home untouched so dont push the boat out too far fellas ooohhh i smell a session in dublin.... #republic4life

NegativeCreep

Quazzie wrote: »

So these loyalist scum want to parade through the city they terrorised next weekend wanting to ban our tricolour flag, they gotta realise it dont matter where abouts you are on this island its ireland north or south and we let their queen go home untouched so dont push the boat out too far fellas ooohhh i smell a session in dublin.... #republic4life

Lovely :rolleyes:

BUBBLE WRAP

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Lovely :rolleyes:

I think that's a very valid point.

Senna

This probably deserves a thread of its own;

Big stink caused over lovely ring Facebook prize…

Quazzie

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Lovely :rolleyes:

By the way, thats not my post, it was on my news feed earlier and I thought it so retarded it merited a repost here. I'm assuming thats how this thread works. Apologies if it isn't.

NegativeCreep

Quazzie wrote: »

By the way, thats not my post, it was on my news feed earlier and I thought it so retarded it merited a repost here. I'm assuming thats how this thread works. Apologies if it isn't.

Oh no, I knew it wasn't yours :L

Ihatecuddles-old

I have a friend in America, who recently suffered a miscarriage, I didnt know until I saw it on facebook.

What I didnt need to see, was a photo. Just popped up on my newsfeed and scared the crap out of me, thats how she tells us she's had a miscarriage. I personally see that as a serious lack of respect. I wouldnt mind, her profile isnt even private so anyone can see it!!

Tetra

Hubby's gone all lovely dovey oh God bless him...well now I'm cheered up.....ermmm laters x

B:lol jiggy jiggy xx


A: need it xx


B:have mine for me while ya at it lol xx


A:Blimey we'll av a swinging time then..just leave me with mine for now...then......... lol xx


B:lmaooooooooooooooo xx


A:night.... I have things to dooooooooo.... xxx

brianthomas

"LIKE if you wish cancer never existed, scroll down if you don't care"

What a load of monkey p1$$.

Ihatecuddles

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

I have a friend in America, who recently suffered a miscarriage, I didnt know until I saw it on facebook.

What I didnt need to see, was a photo. Just popped up on my newsfeed and scared the crap out of me, thats how she tells us she's had a miscarriage. I personally see that as a serious lack of respect. I wouldnt mind, her profile isnt even private so anyone can see it!!

Wait, what was the photo of?

Jacob T

brianthomas wrote: »

"LIKE if you wish cancer never existed, scroll down if you don't care"

What a load of monkey p1$$.

I hope you didn't just scroll down! :eek:

RainyDay

Why did I bother speed-reading this pile of nonsense;

MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS ...

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

... Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. ♥

Thwip!

Can we include twitter here....because there's this whole Bieber thing that smacks of idiocy

u_c_thesecond

Actually laughed my hole off when i saw this on a friends page

Katy(not real name) :OMFG my bf just scared the **** out of me jumped out of the wardrobe in a Chucky mask.Bastard gave me a heart attack!

So she got a lot of lols and hahas etc until this girl we went to school with answered..

Girl :WOW you really are an insensitive bitch, YOU KNOW MY FATHER DIED OF A HEART ATTACK because i told you when we were in primary school, and you add me on FB and now your making jokes about having a heart attack, ARE YOU TRYING TO UPSET ME. YOU ARE EVIL I AM CALLING FACEBOOK AND REPORTING YOU !!!!

This womans 30:rolleyes:

Knockout_91

"Sean Quinn... What a c*ckwencher.. Screws the country over an we hav to pay massive tax cause of self righteous arrogant bankers like him... Ppl cant even afford to feed there kids and education.. An people wonder y the countries goin down the hole?"

There were several comments just saying "Sean Quinn is not a banker".. She then deleted the whole thing ..

mar1us

Deleted User wrote: »

Wait, what was the photo of?

You didn't get it ?

NegativeCreep

Deleted User wrote: »

Wait, what was the photo of?

I'd say it rhymes with dead Cletus :pac: