Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

jellybear

Lighting a candle for you xxxx

jellybear

Dear me,
I'm very proud of you!
Love, me

Deja Boo

M - If anyone deserves a slice of humble pie, it's your attitude.

I came across an old photograph. You took it after a mad night out. If I had a time machine then I would go back to that night. I would go back to all of the nights and the days. The time before and the time after. I would make it so our lives just looped around reliving over and over again those years. It would be nice if you thought of me now and then but I don't think you do. I think of you.

LightlyGo

You always asked me to make you something, knowing I'm insecure about that sort of thing and don't like to share it.
So I made you something.
I put so much work in, I chose your favourite subject, I made it very "you" I thought. I was so excited about sending it.

I had to ask if you got it. You had.
You said one word about it. Just a flat "thanks".
I actually wonder if you even looked at it.
It's made me feel even more insignificant to you.
I wonder if maybe you enjoy being cruel in these small strange ways to me now and I wonder why.

erica74

The bottom just fell out of my world. So now you know. You were the only person central to the whole thing who didn't know so it actually feels better that you do know. I feel very sad to think of you getting that phone call from the gardai. I know it shocked you. I know you didn't know prior to that phone call, the garda confirmed the same, she said you were genuinely very very shocked. I feel sad to think of you saying "why didn't she tell me when she was small".
This has been a weight on me for over 20 years.

erica74

Life is so hard. I can't believe you said "this needs to be kept out of the courts". I cannot believe that. You have no idea the courage it took for me to speak out about this. Do you have any idea what it took to sit in that garda office and remember and retell as many instances of abuse as I possibly could? Then I was wracking my brain to try to find more memories buried inside my head, ones that I had tried to burn out of my brain a long time ago.

This broke my heart a long time ago.

erica74

It really bothers me that you were at that wedding. And it really bothers me that our cousins were posting photos of you and your wife. It got to me. I would love to go to these family events but I cannot bear the thought of coming face to face with you or being asked about you. I can't hear your name without feeling physically sick. I can't say your name without feeling physically sick. I'd say I've said your name 5 times in the past 10 years. Even typing about you now is conjuring your name in my head and making my head hurt.

I don't understand how your wife can continue on like life is normal. What about your children? What about if your children have children? They will be at risk, particularly if you receive no punishment for your past actions.

ginandtonicsky

Dear bosses,

Could I prioritise more efficiently? Absolutely. Could my time management be better? Without a doubt.

Do I have time for an extra 3 meetings a week to evaluate my performance and plan my deals and endless reports about my "activity" which leaves fcuk all actual time to ENGAGE IN ACTUAL ACTIVITY? No. No I do not.

Know why? Because I am a person. One single human person. Not a lemming, not a work bot, not a computer programmed algorithm designed to do nothing but sit and hit ridiculous targets and fire out ridiculous reports night and day. I also need to eat, sleep and breathe in the little spare time I get these days, and the odd trip to the gym or personal-life endeavour is one of these hindrances that comes with being human.

So in the words of a wise man, kindly go fcuk yourselves.

Ginandtonicsky

Oh and to the arsehole that decided to do a disappearing act after three dates that you chased me for - you may as well go and fcuk yourself too while we're at it.

It's almost a year since we ran in to each other. I'm sitting here trying hard not to cry and writing this because it helps. I had everything. Mam was well then. It was some of the best years and I didn't see it at the time. Sure isn't that how it goes? We don't know what we had until it's gone. Are you happy now? You kept a lot inside. It wasn't easy being with me then. I am sorry.

notsoyoungwan

So D,

The day came and you let me down. I can’t figure out if your explanation is totally genuine, or if this is all a game to you. You did seem upfront about it, in fairness, and apologised more than once, but still... I’m unsure. I’m not making the running next time. That’s up to you now. For my part, I won’t play games. What you see is what you get. So, if you decide to make the next move, you’ll be met with sincerity and honesty. Maybe that’s my downfall, as it leaves me vulnerable and a bit fragile, but I’m not into mind games. I wish I knew if you were the same.

notsoyoungwan

J,

I actually think I hate you now. That’s a strong emotion but I believe that’s now where I’m at with you. To think I once adored you, was Daddy’s little girl- how times have changed. I’ve gone through so many emotions towards you over the years- the love, respect, admiration, gratitude....the fear, the anger, the resentment, the pity...and now this hate. You’ve crossed a line and I don’t think there’s any coming back from it. You’ve eroded the positive aspects of the relationship and left me with all the corrosive ones. I will one day look at you in your coffin and breathe a sigh of relief, as callous and heartless as that sounds. You’ve ensured that will happen. That’s on you, not me.

erica74

I feel so alone. I don't know where you are. Where are you? There's a blackness that surrounds you now. I don't know how to get through it and you don't know/want to get out of it. What am I supposed to do? You keep saying "I'll just work it out on my own, like I always do" but you've literally been trying that for 3 years now. How much longer before you accept that you can't fix this on your own? And that it's okay that you can't fix this on your own? There is nothing weak nor shameful about accepting help and help comes in many forms.

When I woke you up this morning, you said "what's the point of getting up and just doing the same shit every day, I'm sick of it". It's okay to feel like that and I want to help you find your way out of that place but, you have to want to find your way out, I can't force you and I can't do all the work.

I feel a hollow in my chest. I feel empty. I feel immense sadness. I hate myself and the world and everything in life sometimes but I have never said words that I knew would cut you deep inside. Your words slice away at me and eventually I'm going to be nothing.

Lavinia

So we went out few times and you want to be in relatonshp already. well mister dont you think it is little just way too early lol
me think so ...

Deja Boo

I still remember what you said a few Christmases ago.

For me, it's always been you ...and you alone.

La.de.da

R.

I'm disappointed in you. No explanation, nothing. I suppose that's the way the game is played these days. It's not a game I want to be part of. I don't let many people into my life. If I do I care for them. Probably too much. That's why it hurts a little.

I guess in many ways it wasn't going to go the long haul. So I'll make my peace with it now and I wish you well. I hope you're going to find what you are looking for.

Saysay19

M

I love you more than life itself.
You are my person. You know what I’m thinking. You know how to calm me. You know me. You have pushed me when I didn’t believe in myself and because of that I have achieved so much in the last 10 years.

I genuinely believe if I had never met you I would not be here today.

The last 3 months have been bollix. I can’t explain the pain I’m going through. It’s so different from the last time. I’m grieving but I really am trying to get through this so bear with me.

We will have the nicest Christmas, the 3 of us and will be ready to see what 2019 throws at us x

cgh

Why do you always try to grind me down,
nothing I do is ever good enough.

you always claim I am the selfish one. that I need to do more.

you need to wake up and look at your own faults before tearing me to pieces every week or some day you will wake up and I wont be there any more

Schwanz

Dear Me.

Grow the hell up and realize what you got.

RhubarbCrumble

Keep siding with her if you want, but I've had enough. She's making a complete fool out of you and using you the same way she did M, only you don't want to see it.
Well I've had enough. She's not my problem anymore and if this keep up, you won't be either.

2019 is going to being a hell of a lot of changes.

Lavinia

so you will com in the mornig and spend some time with me. i am trying to stay calm to it and not to react in a way to show how i feel about it. i understand your reasons. just wish you could stay longer or just stay.
...

notsoyoungwan

M,

I can’t believe you’re dead. I just can’t. How can a man with a smile that lights up the room, with eyes that sparkle and with such presence and charisma just be gone. It just doesn’t compute. You’ll never know how much you meant to me, I could never tell you that...you’ll never know that I thought of you fondly so so often, that so many songs remind me of you and I smile when I hear them... you’ll never know how desired and amazing you made me feel, and what it did to me. I always hoped that one day we’d pick up where we left off...that won’t be happening now. I know I’ve no right to be this way, but I’m devastated. I miss you. I’ll always miss you. Rest well, my love.

I have been getting glimpses of how my life might be if I didn't have the insecurities or the fears or loss that all get in the way. It would be amazing! I would be as free as the wind. There would be no stopping me. Its like a curtain gets opened a little at a time. How will I pull it back fully? Sometimes it feels like all my bravery has been used in getting to this point.

Damn Christmas always gets me maudlin'. Lying in bed listening to songs from the before. Did you get my text? My yearly happy Christmas to you. I remember you also wanting to be free as the wind. You had so many plans. What happened? Maybe it is the weariness of age, the daily job of living.

Anyways mind yourself. I love you.

notsoyoungwan

notsoyoungwan wrote: »

M,

I can’t believe you’re dead. I just can’t. How can a man with a smile that lights up the room, with eyes that sparkle and with such presence and charisma just be gone. It just doesn’t compute. You’ll never know how much you meant to me, I could never tell you that...you’ll never know that I thought of you fondly so so often, that so many songs remind me of you and I smile when I hear them... you’ll never know how desired and amazing you made me feel, and what it did to me. I always hoped that one day we’d pick up where we left off...that won’t be happening now. I know I’ve no right to be this way, but I’m devastated. I miss you. I’ll always miss you. Rest well, my love.

M,

It’s been some week. It’s still unbelievable that you’re actually dead. I just can’t process it. I’m glad I went to your removal, I’m hoping in time that that will help me grieve. But seeing you in your coffin...oh M, I never ever thought that day would come. Driving there, I thought to myself that I’d like to just rest my hand on yours one last time, but when it came to it I couldn’t do it, didn’t want to face the coldness I’d feel, so I touched the coffin-side instead. Still surreal. To see you so still and lifeless, that spark and vivacity gone forever.

I dug out the posts i made about you in earlier versions of this thread under an old username, and re-read them all. I laughed and cried, as I had done when originally posting them.

The good memories have been flooding back all week. The simplest little things that would seem mundane to anyone else but that in context mean so much to me. Remember the question to which my answer was ‘cos it’s bold’?? I can still see you smiling at that one! Remember the flying pork chop?? The Eiffel Tower? The 7up saga? The day you turned up at my workplace and popped out from behind one of the lads like a jack-in-the-box? The drunken confessions? The forgotten coat? The first awkward phonecall? I can still remember the jolt of attraction the time I watched you take off your tie and undo the top button of your shirt after work one evening. Remember the first night we got together and you asked me at what stage I’d decided I wanted you...it was when our colleague was drunkenly rambling on about something ad nauseum and you caught my eye, smiled and winked...right there and then I thought “he’s hot!” but I didn’t for one second think you might have been thinking similar about me. Little did I know what would unfold that night!

I know that for you it really was little more than a very casual fling. You didn’t actually fall for me, whereas I did for you. I’m ok with that, I made my peace with it ages ago, but I never lost the soft spot I had for you. The emotions I’ve felt this week are testament to that. I will always have a soft spot for you, I will never forget you. In time I will again think of you with a smile and fondness rather than with the tears and heartache I’ve felt this week.

Thank you for everything you brought to my life.

Rest well... xxx

okiss

V, M got the Christmas card you sent her. It was the first time you had contacted her in 18 months. Why are you contacting her now?
The truth is you knew she wanted a relationship with you in the past but you decided you did not want this. You went on to get involved with a few different woman. Between these relationships you would contact M for some no stings sex, to help you out or because you needed a friend. She realised after a while that you were not going to change your mind so she decided not to keep in contact with you.

M has figured out what your current situation is now.
Do you think she will get into a relationship with you now? Do you think that she is willing to put her life on hold for X number of years to make your life easier?
What have you to offer her now?

You don't turn her down in the past to come running back now after realising the mistakes you made.

TheFortField

My Love, I can’t sleep because my head is full of you ........

One Hundred Love Sonnets: XVII

I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as one loves certain obscure things,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries
the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,
and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose
from the earth lives dimly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you directly without problems or pride:
I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,
except in this form in which I am not nor are you,
so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,
so close that your eyes close with my dreams.

Pablo Neruda

RhubarbCrumble

You're a nasty, evil, twisted, manipulative b***h, and God forgive me, but I wish it was you in that hospital bed instead of him.
Even when he's that sick, it still has to be all about you.

The Crazy Cat Lady

Dear me,

Don't feel bad for giving it a good try, if it wasn't meant to be, then it wasn't, don't feel guilty for doing what's right for you
much love
me

SirChenjin

Sh1t, have to write this a second time because boards died, as I went to post.

I know you lack tact/ emotional intelligence/ whatever but you possibly outdid yourself this year.

Last year you completely dissed the present I bought for you.

This year, you happened to find a freebie version, of the present I had bought you, at home, and drooled all over it. Subliminal message - what I got you was obviously sh1t.

Why do I never learn...

Rosie Rant

2018,
You have been cruel. I cannot wait to see the back of you.

2019,
Please be better.