Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

ruth...less

You know that I'm so excited for Saturday 😊😊 sometimes I turn to you in between for advice, love and comfort my sweetheart Xx 😊

Bredabe

Yes, I understand you want to be called she/he or he/him, they/their. As an ageing tomboy, I have been on the receiving end of some of the same kinds of attitudes you are dealing with.

HOWEVER, I have an issue with ppl who want me to change things to suit them while not bending to accommodate my issues, As I said when I speak I have a withdrawal disorder as part of my SLD, and this means for that for a long time I may use the wrong pronouns until my brain decides its got it and changes its behaviours on this issue.

There is NOTHING I can do about this until it sorts itself out on its own, hard I know, but it's how it is. In much the same way atm your outside and inside are different until the planned changes take place.

Getting in my face screaming your preferred pronouns, going to my boss, and badmouthing me to your community is not going to change this any more than you can change your current internal discord. So I propose you ignore when I misgender you in speech and look at how I treat and work with you and others for your preferred outcome.

ruth...less

Why do you think it didn't work out? I mean why did you make it not work out? with you and me? Did you want it not too? I know I tried and I know I gave you everything....maybe that was the problem. I know that you will always be my sweetheart even tho well you are a bit of a ****..I guess we didn't feel the same connection..lol and I hate that word..how can I let you go?..it's not easy for me but I see it was easy for you so I can't hold on anymore.

ruth...less

Everytime I give someone a chance they **** me over..I just can't do it anymore.

Deja Boo

Dear dictator, you seriously have got to lay off the pressure.

ruth...less

Actually funny...but I've got myself into a very similar situation than I was in with you lol. There must be something wrong with me that I keep getting into this situation...although in this case..I was there first lol and I care less lol 😅😆😅 fml 😁😁😁 :D

ruth...less

Thanks for listening again. Sorry I seem to have absolutely no willpower but then I'm also not sorry because I kind of hate you too.

ruth...less

Actually I saw them first 😛😅 but possibility to make my life hell lol 😁😅😅😅😅 oh ye can't remember what I really wanted to say...just wanted to talk to you really.

Lavinia

i am so sorry to hear what you are going through.. i wish i could help.. you and your oh.. but im feeling like there is nothing i can do but listen.. and am afraid it is too late.. i am glad you personally are getting better though, and taking your life into your hands so you are content at least with yourself, it means lots to have stability in your own self in life.. if this makes any sense.. i still wish you to get better and will pray for you and all ..

Bredabe

D,

"Thanks" for your informed(un) opinion on my sibling and their behaviour, with the attendant lecture on how I could counteract these behaviours. yes, it's difficult and triggering for me, you have told me over and over in the years we have known each other that "I'm not responsible for other ppl's behaviour", so explain to me how I'm now responsible for their behaviour. (In your opinion)

If their diagnosis was similar to the conditions(which I feel it is) that runs in your family, would your "opinions" of their behaviour be the same? as we will never have a diagnosis on them, and decades of telling them to "fack off" doesn't work, how is any of this my fault?

ruth...less

Hey... before I start...I love you. I always have since we met. But...you know..what? I'm sick of letting you take credit for my personality. Anything I've ever said has been me the good and the bad all over the place 🤣 but you are not the creator of my responses...I actually think sometimes my responses or reaction was not what you thought 😂😂♥️...ye you might have provoked it but you ugh anyhow do you want me to create scenarios endlessly? Sorry but no and ...I loved the time spending with you when i thought it wasnt a game ...but it's always a game with you...even if you lete win sometimes 😁 anyway love you but it's not real.

Airyfairy12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120941396#Comment_120941396

So as it would turn out you treated her like you treated me and what I witnessed with you and this girl was just you in your manipulation, love bombing stage! Its such a reflection on you, you have this need within you to manipulate genuine, kind women, tell them everything they want to hear just to cut contact when they start to settle into a relationship with you, as soon as a woman starts to feel secure, thats when you pull the rug and you seem to really enjoy this process.

I guess we're not the same, I cant begin to imagine being the type of person that feels happy about planning out manipulation tactics and hurting people, its all control with you, knowing you have control over a womans emotions makes you a very happy little boy! The control is temporary though, and once she wakes up and takes her power back, she sees you for exactly what you are, a very sad, insecure little man thats filled with hate! You are all alone, always all alone, always surrounded by people but never able to truly connect with anyone, thats a very sad little life to live.

okiss

X, I did not hear from you for a while & I was going to contact you today. So I got you message re your child and their health condition. I replied to it by asking a few questions. I asked you these questions so I could help you. I then got the message back telling me not to tell other people about this. I had already decided I was never going to tell other people. I know you need time to process this.

Then you asked me that particular question. I looked at it, read it again and I though what are you thinking? What in the world makes you think that getting genetic testing and trying for another child after doing this is a good idea. The truth is their is a chance your child has their condition due to your age when you became a dad. You are now older and you have several health issues.

I told you I did not know about genetic testing for this health condition. I told you about some recent medical information that I heard re this condition. I also told you about several families that I and y know who have kids with this conditon. I was trying hard to be dipolmatic in what I said to you but I really wanted to say the following.

What are you really thinking? Is this your idea or hers re having another child? Considering your current situation is it a good idea to have a another child now? Are you aware of what they could have to face with their health conditon as they grow up?

To be honest you need to stop thinking of what you want. You cant have another child now because it something you or her want because long term it not fair on the child you already have. Why would you chose to make every ones life harder just so you can say she is pregnant again and show off a 2nd child? In fact it time for you to realise that having another child is not a good idea and tell her the same. Then you need to work hard on getting several other parts of your life sorted out.

I know when you read my message you might not be to happy with what I said. Do you know what I really don't care because its not my problem. Yes I know you have gotten some hard news to take but a baby/child is what you wanted a few years ago. You decided to pick her over me back then. I was very upset over this but I realise now that it was the best for me and my life. I am able to make plans and do things that suit me. I am not saying my life is better than yours but just different and I am ok with my life as it is now.

okiss

A, A few weeks ago I asked you to meet me. You said we go out for a meal before xmas and I asked could we go out on x or y date.

Then you ignored this message and the few I sent after this. You told me then that you have covid and then would not answer any questions about how you were ect. To be honest I don't believe that you had covid then. You have been giving me the brush off for a long time now. The last time we had a chat on fb pm you told me you had to go to Dublin the following day with q and the reason for this. You then had to tell me that q applied for a job with x. So what happened to great job q got in Dublin a few months ago? Durring the summer I said to you I saw that B were recruiting again for z. You told me back then that Q job was going well. I said that good to hear but I just told you this in case he was interested.

So now he is going for a job with x. The truth is I have know for a while that q did not get the leaving results you said he got a few years ago. You let him get a job in A. You refused to listen to my advice back then that he should apply for job B. The reality was he had not the grades to apply for job B. So now q is going to work in x. X is known for it not great pay, work hours and the truth is he could end up working far away from home. I dont think you were to happy with him doing this but if you listened to my advice a few years ago he would be in a better position now than the one he is currently in.

Another thing is that because you have not met me in so long you have no idea what happened between myself and X. The truth was I told him the last time we met I was not getting into a fwb situation with him. We have been keeping in contact with each other since then but he knows I am not changing my mind in regards to this. This year has not been good for him and he is dealing with a few things. The truth is I walked away from getting involved in a total mess.

The other person I told you about a few years ago has been back up to their usual things with me. I am doing some reserch. I have a potential light at the end of the tunnel with this person and situation. I just need to see what happens say in the next 2 to 3 months and by then I know more so I can do plan a or b.

I have decided to contact you and arrage a meeting with you. If you dont make some effort with me when I do this that it - I am not going to bother making the effort for you any longer.

ruth...less

I'm always better when I'm down. Then if **** show everyone.

niallpatrick

Dear F my life was a pile of stinking dog **** before I met you and the Christmas I had to endure with you and your rotten family was probably the lowest I've ever sunk. Neither of us was innocent so don't make out you're the injured party. I am no better nor worse for knowing you, in hindsight I'd have rather not met you at all but we all make mistakes and you're the worst mistake I've made.

Airyfairy12

This is so hard to say but liked you allot and in a different way to all the others, I didnt get butterflies or feel nervous, I felt calm and safe and like we were on the same level. It's such a pity the timing was so bad, I really feel like this is a case of right person, wrong time.

E im not coming for your job, you really need to get over yourself and grow up! Ive figured you out a bit and youre fake as they come, say what you think you should say in any given situation but it's empty and superficial and im realising thats why I felt so uncomfortable around you all that time.

A I heard how youre doing and it sounds awful but you did it to yourself. I do wish you well but I know you wont ever change so neither will your situation.

ruth...less

All you want is a perfect controlled stepford wife who's a bit offish and quirky but within your range so you can say 'oh I've got something different ' like a guy who says he likes alternative rock.

Deja Boo

Hopefully one year, I just may forget the anniversary date altogether... guess it won't be this year.

LilacNails

To whom ever .....

I sometimes wish I was different, other times I'm happy, I'm me. Is it a false comfort? False hope? Or is it that I'm really am far behind, have missed out on so much... experiences, suitations, relationships, growth, lessons.....

Have I turned out to be the worse version of myself already? Or is that the pathway I'm already on, destined to end up there.

I have missed out. Missed out on what I see so many others have, and take for granted.

How I would swap places in an instant.

All the sadness, grief, anger, more sadness... how does one turn out handling this...hot, heavy burden on their own? Its steeping , still steeping, deeper inside of me, everyday. Like hot lava, I feel I'm eroding away....

When can I feel safe. When do.I get to feel enough and loved. These are worth so much, those lucky to have and experience those kind of feelings, everyday.....without even realising it....thats the winning lotto ticket. They have already won. They have it all, but just don't know it, yet I can see it. And I'm so envious and sad.

Deja Boo

(just venting)

sorry

Bredabe

Ooonagh,

I had a horrible headache which kept me awake the other night and my mind wandered to the 9 mts we spent in Susan's all that way back. Even as oblivious as I was to group dynamics as I was then I could see you had formed a clique around you(understandable as you were in the big city for the first time and were discovering that ppl there didn't think you were all that bc of who your parents were like in your small town)

As always with groups like the one you made, I was a target, as I have always in the mind of ppl like you an outsider like me had to be the punching bag. Esp as in that time period I was so ill and no one could figure out why(tho looking back as someone so pass remarkable about other ppl's hygiene I find it strange that the level of dust and the perpetually leaking single toilet used by over a dozen young women didn't make you sick too).

So a few things I would like to say to you and your little gang, we all knew you got that job you got when we graduated(not that you were the best just that you had connections) now all that time later have you realised that you had all those negative feeling about me based on the fact that I lived in an area for ten years before you moved in and had gotten to know some of the ppl my age?, have it even crossed your mind that your campaign of hate and embarrassment an already sick person was because I KNEW PPL IN THE AREA I HAD LIVED IN FOR TEN YEARS? I hope before you moved to London you lost that trait cause it must have been exhausting to be that vengeful to ppl because they know ppl you don't.

A question which rattled in my brain when I'm bored about you is when your friend loudly criticised me for saying something about a well-known liar and charmer "because I knew how much you like him" as you never deigned to speak to me and I turned out the childish prattle in the workroom how was I supposed to know that?

Also, given your know-it-all-all tendencies and the open gossiping about my health in your group, surely you knew that constant steroid use such as I was on so I could struggle through the contract has a side effect of making ppl gain weight and be sweaty? Have you learned that even now?.

I hear you are doing well in your posh shop and have a handsome husband, even tho all that is as predictable af for ppl like you, blessings to you and all of your covern friends from then.

Airyfairy12

I never deserved how you treated me, all the years I dropped everything and ran to you when needed anything and the way you treated me like dirt was just awful! Youre not a nice person and its been 2 and a half years since we last spoke and honestly im so glad! You were a horrible friend! If the saying who needs friends with enemies like you applied to any situation, our connection would be it! I honestly just think I was trauma bonded to you and since we lost connection my entire life opened up, my confidence grew, I made new and genuine friendships and reconnected with old ones. You pushed me out to punish me for standing up to you for the first time in all those years when in reality, you gave me a gift, it was the best and kindest thing you ever did for me and im so grateful! Im happy in my life now and I know if we had stayed connected you would have continued to drag me down to your level and keep me stunted just like you. If we never speak again I will not have a moment of regret, i havnt missed you once and that says everything.

ruth...less

Crumbs and also How many times did I publicly try my best with you and was met with rejection, distain or whatever? Wtf do you want? I wouldn't do this in other circumstances. I can't keep letting myself down for you. I don't know if you accepted me how it would even be cause we just built this kind of thing where it's me expressing myself constantly and you not really having any real response. Plus you haven't got a clue of the real **** I'm going through right now and even if you did I don't think you'd care. I know my situation. Sometimes I think I use as an escape from that.

Bredabe

John, at least I think that is what your name was.

I was travelling last week and our "relationship" came to mind, you remember me, the woman you text to organise a date for the following weekend. Then find a better option.

Turns out I was running late, so I called to explain I was halfway there(location was further away than I thought) you told me you weren't there and were at the Aviva bc "I hadn't called to confirm we were meeting".

Who did you think I was, your doctor/dentist???????????????????????? then you have a hissy when I give "remote" responses when you txt me again weeks later. (Red flags much) and attributed that to me having an attitude toward you being made unemployed b4 we even started txt'ing.

I hope you have learned a bit about women since then or that you met women who had the sense to see you for what you were.

Bredabe

Given that I do 99% of the work on this job, why aren't I getting paid?

Johnboy1951

deleted by me

okiss

X, I heard from z and they told me you had to cancel your trip because of y situation and you have to wait till later to rebook this trip. You were complaining about this. I can't believe just how selfish you are being now especially when you know y situation. The lack of understanding for anyone but yourself does not surprise me because for years you have been putting you and your needs first. It time you realised that the world does not revolve around you and your needs and to stop being so selfish.