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first date - go dutch?
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23-10-2008 8:22am#1
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idunnoutellme wrote: »hi guys
wandering about peoples opinions on this
on a first date - no matter where you go : cinema, out for a meal, drinks
do guys prefer to pay? do girls prefer guys to pay? or would you prefer goin dutch?
just that i was out on a date last nite and well the guy didnt offer to pay - considering he's in a well paid job like and i always offer to go dutch anyway but kinda expect the guy to say 'no here i'll get this' you know, and when he didnt it kinda made me think he's cheap....
like i went out and got my hair done for the date - i consider that my half of the bargain ha ha (joke)
I usually go dutch and if I don't I pay for the next time we go out. Very rarely do I let a guy pay for something and not return the favour. It's a bit sad and shallow that you consider him cheap because he didnt offer to pay for everything.pink fluffy bunny wrote: »The more important question is, why would you get your hair done for a date?
Why is this more important?
Fair enough she shouldnt expect him to pay for everything because of this but some people like to look nice for 1st dates?what the hell is Dutch?
Dutch = Halvesies.0 -
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Why is this more important? Fair enough she shouldnt expect him to pay for everything because of this but some people like to look nice for 1st dates?
sorry this is obviously a concept i dont understand, i get my hair done for me not for anyone else, so i really dont understand how getting her hair done has any relavence to the question she asked0 -
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He asked you out and you paid in total...he didn't offer to pay or go dutch?
That's just patently bad manners in my book. Nothing to do with equality or feminism or anything else.
The rules on these things are, I think pretty simple,
1st date - he asks you out, you offer to go dutch, he refuses and pays in full.
2nd date - the opposite. You pay.
There ofter, go dutch.
If you ask him out on the first date then you pay.
yep i like your way of thinkin
but there was no offering of anything, we just paid halfsies.
anyway from this thread i found out that men are afraid of paying on a first date in case the woman might find it offensive apparently (just a lame excuse on their part really but whatever) so i will never expect a guy to pay again0 -
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What does the fact that he's male have to do with it? We can't have our cake and eat it m'dear - go around demanding equality but oh, would you mind picking up the bill, ta.
It was a first date for him too...
Would you have paid for it in full if you had been the one to ask him - or do you expect the man to do the asking out?
Maybe he likes to be treated once in a while as well.
the line :'go around demanding equality' - what does that have to do with anything? i dont go around demanding equality. and i have no problem treatin a guy once in a while - if i thought that he feels the same way.
if you cant be treated on a first date by the person who asked you out then when can you??? 0 -
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I don't understand why this is so shocking to everybody. It's just what I expect and I don't know why no one reacted on my reasons for this? Maybe I wasn't being clear.
If a fella asks me on a first date, I shouldn't have to explain to him: look I'm a really generous person and I don't want to be f*cked over any more by thight fellas.
The treating me to a first dinner/date whatever would be a sort of a test.
So far it's proven right. I don't know if it's valid every time tho. But I'm still single (Maybe that's why? lol)
But seriously, this is the way I was raised, I am expecting a certain treatment from men I wouldn't accept less, in fairness if I'm not treated that way I'd rather go on a date with myself
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idunnoutellme wrote: »what exactly is wrong with a girl wanting to be treated like that? she'd think the world of you if you did cos men like that are hard to come by and everyone wants one ha ha - maybe take notes???
It's the expectation of it that would do me. If they asked questions about the stuff fine, i.e. Have you been here before, what's do you think is good? etc, that that would be fine because it can be a two way street. But an expectation of the guy to come in and and straight off start with this wine is good, you should get that etc would annoy me.
Also you do realise that most guys take the time to try and make sure they also look good for a first date.
And BTW I have a GF so no need for the notes 0 -
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It's the expectation of it that would do me. If they asked questions about the stuff fine, i.e. Have you been here before, what's do you think is good? etc, that that would be fine because it can be a two way street. But an expectation of the guy to come in and and straight off start with this wine is good, you should get that etc would annoy me.
Also you do realise that most guys take the time to try and make sure they also look good for a first date.
And BTW I have a GF so no need for the notes
Look, mine was only a short way of explaining it. Of course I wouldn't sit there like a stone going: you decide, you decide.
It's those little things, those attention giving moments that are important. Getting me weak at my knees would be in the line of:
"Look the way you said you loved Italian food? I've booked such and such"
At the table:
"I love the thing thing here, i really recommend it"
And total brownie points are if he stands up when I stand up, if he helps me put on my coat, if he gives me his coat if I happen to think I don't need one and it's cold going to the taxi whatever.
More scenarious? Or do you get me where I'm coming from? I'm an incurable romantic and this has nothing to do with feminism etc. It's just I want a guy to treat me a cretain way.....
Oh, and to be "equal" whatever. Same if I asked a guy to a resto, chose venue and so on, it would be me doing the recommendations, tryiong to pick up on hints he'd given me before or so...0 -
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