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If you became dictator of Ireland, what new laws would you make compulsory?

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    #62
    mynameis905
    Closed Accounts Posts: 754 ✭✭✭mynameis905


    - Tracksuits and hoodies banned with immediate effect

    - Mandatory grammar and elocution lessons for everyone

    - Celebration of St. Patrick's day would be abolished

    - Sufferers of Politician's Trouser would be rounded up and dropped off at a tailor. Repeat offenders shot on sight.


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    #63
    Cortina_MK_IV
    Registered Users Posts: 2,350 ✭✭✭Cortina_MK_IV


    Newborns will have to have their proposed names approved by a committee. Names like Jayden, Kayden, Phoenix (unless a parent is native American) will be outlawed.


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    #64
    Schwiiing
    Registered Users Posts: 2,661 ✭✭✭Schwiiing


    No babies/baby paraphernalia in public.

    Men shall be allowed 2 choices of haircut. Military crew cut or tidy side parting. I will rule on beards on a case by case basis.

    Compulsory national service for boys and girls for 8 weeks immediately after their Leaving Cert.


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    #65
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    maudgonner wrote: »
    I love this thread. I'm pretty sure we can put together a manifesto and sweep the boards at the next election. We actually would have a mandate for change.

    Oh oh I baggsy President... No wait! VICE President :cool:


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    #66
    Punkyblip
    Registered Users Posts: 114 ✭✭Punkyblip


    Guys walking around in public with their hands down their pants to be made punishable by death.

    Gas and electricity meters to run in reverse so customers always due refunds from energy suppliers.


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    #67
    maudgonner
    Registered Users Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭maudgonner


    Reintroduce bears into the wild in Ireland. I like bears. Maybe a few lions too.


    (When they get hungry we can feed them Luas drivers and ex TDs - and in a dictatorship all TDs will be ex TDs)


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    #68
    maudgonner
    Registered Users Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭maudgonner


    KERSPLAT! wrote: »
    Oh oh I baggsy President... No wait! VICE President :cool:

    I'm glad you know your place, you can indeed be my VICE President. Now kneel before Maud.


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    #69
    Elemonator
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,271 ✭✭✭Elemonator


    1. Wearing tracksuits, a cap and Nikes with your socks tucked in.

    2. Ban wasters off the dole.

    I'll be editing more in.


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    #70
    Punkyblip
    Registered Users Posts: 114 ✭✭Punkyblip


    Outlaw the use of the phrase "going forward"


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    #71
    Caoimhgh1n
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,499 ✭✭✭✭Caoimhgh1n


    Ban fossil fuels.
    Stop the meat industry.
    Replant forests.
    Destroy most of the towns and cities and build them up again properly.
    Money from Dole, child benefit ect to only be allowed spent on necessities and not crap.
    Alcohol and cancer sticks to be banned.
    Perfume and any other scented spray to be abolished.
    No hunting/fishing.
    Parents must be approved and inspected by allocated inspectors and if deemed unfit, sent to Carlow town.
    Tracksuits will be burned whilst on the person wearing it.


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    #72
    Schwiiing
    Registered Users Posts: 2,661 ✭✭✭Schwiiing


    Nadia Forde, Georgia Salpa, Elaine Crowley and Claire Byrne shall be banned from wearing clothes.

    Ray Darcy and Ryan Tubridy shall receive 1 slap per Euro recieved from the taxpayer. Every Irish citizen shall be allowed administer at least 1 slap each.

    Anyone who claims 'Interior Designer' 'Wedding Planner' or 'Nutritionist' as their job will be rounded up and forced to work on a chain gang filling potholes.


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    #73
    maudgonner
    Registered Users Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭maudgonner


    Joe Duffy to be made to publicly admit his hypocrisy - claiming to be a man of the people, standing up for the little guy, when he's drawing a massive salary at the taxpayer's expense. And then executed.

    Likewise the heads of all trades union & most of their officials. And Ray D'arcy - forcefed sugar till he dies, or cheers up a bit. He'll probably die first though.


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    #74
    Shenshen
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,453 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shenshen


    Everybody gets to "really hate" 3 things, and 3 things only. Give it a good think before you choose.


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    #75
    Schwiiing
    Registered Users Posts: 2,661 ✭✭✭Schwiiing


    Fidelma Healy Eames and Conor McGregor will be permanently exiled.


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    #76
    blackbird 49
    Registered Users Posts: 411 ✭✭blackbird 49


    If a person is given a prison life sentence, that's exactly what it is, and no suspended sentences for anybody, you do the crime you do the time


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    #77
    maudgonner
    Registered Users Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭maudgonner


    Chocolate bars need to be put back to the way they used to be - proper cocoa-rich chocolate and back to their old sizes. Tins of Roses back to the way they were too. Feck off Kraft, stupid Americans ruining Cadbury's recipes.


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    #78
    blindside88
    Registered Users Posts: 1,968 ✭✭✭blindside88


    Caoimhgh1n wrote: »
    Ban fossil fuels.
    Stop the meat industry.
    Replant forests.
    Destroy most of the towns and cities and build them up again properly.
    Money from Dole, child benefit ect to only be allowed spent on necessities and not crap.
    Alcohol and cancer sticks to be banned.
    Perfume and any other scented spray to be abolished.
    No hunting/fishing.
    Parents must be approved and inspected by allocated inspectors and if deemed unfit, sent to Carlow town.
    Tracksuits will be burned whilst on the person wearing it.

    I'd say you'd be overthrown in a matter of seconds. At least the rest of us only want annoying people killed/tortured. You want to get rid of burgers and beer


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    #79
    Caoimhgh1n
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,499 ✭✭✭✭Caoimhgh1n


    blindside88 wrote: »
    I'd say you'd be overthrown in a matter of seconds. At least the rest of us only want annoying people killed/tortured. You want to get rid of burgers and beer

    I never liked burgers, all beer does is cause people to become drunk, drunk people annoy me immensely.


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    #80
    guylikeme
    Registered Users Posts: 262 ✭✭guylikeme


    Skirt tax for hot chicks.

    Tax credit for shorter skirts. The shorter the skirt, the shorter the tax bill.


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    #81
    Melisandre121
    Registered Users Posts: 1,117 ✭✭✭Melisandre121


    If you publically use the phrase "roll on" in relation to a party, holiday, or work ending, you may be fined €1500 on the spot. Failure to pay may result in imprisonment.


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    #82
    figges
    Registered Users Posts: 40 ✭figges


    A ban on the boiling of bacon to take immediate. Concessions made to those of a certain age if they renounce the use of mobility scooters at peak times.

    Anyone whose pants can be seen above their trousers will be made to inflate inflateable things at the local pool all day, for minimum of 5 years.

    Mustard made mandatory for all meals including breakfast.


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    #83
    prinzeugen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,891 ✭✭✭prinzeugen


    Ban all "we want everything for free" political parties and send all members and supporters to a camp and teach them what it is like to work for something.

    People could get on with stuff and it would cut the social welfare bill by 95%.


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    #84
    osarusan
    Registered Users Posts: 16,572 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Anybody caught not picking up their dog's crap will be forced to take off their shoe, put the crap inside, then put their foot back into their shoe and walk home.


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    #85
    Jayop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,388 ✭✭✭✭Jayop


    1) Tuesdays to be added to the weekend
    2) Traffic Corps to be equipped with high power rifles to execute bad drivers. By bad I mean, slow, tailgating, dangerous, lane hogging, no indicating twats.
    3) Full and proper health care for all.
    4) Irish to be non-mandatory and replaced with computer science.
    5) Bacon to be freely available to all.
    6) Outlaw people being twats.
    7) Legalise all drugs, have them sold in chemists, manufactured in Ireland, taxed and on prescription. Bye bye illegal drug trade.
    8) Harsh penalties for all those repeat offenders, particularly violent crimes.
    9) Toilet rolls hanged incorrectly will result in an immediate kick in the arse.
    10) Ban all talking from radio stations like 2fm and other "pop stations".


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    #86
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    I'd just make myself queen, take everyone's money and live in a palace and have everybody as my slaves. The whole country.


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    #87
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Buona Fortuna wrote: »
    I'd ban all sport.

    All balls would be confiscated. I'd create a Minster of Balls to look after them.

    I'd build houses on all the unused pitches and the GAA could go and do one. :)


    ^^^^^^
    Id have this lad offed...... :pac:


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    #88
    Ice Maiden
    Closed Accounts Posts: 600 ✭✭✭Ice Maiden


    Labour camp for people who say/write "on fleek" and "bae".

    Toilet paper only to be unfurled from behind, you crazy frontways toilet-paper lunatics!


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    #89
    foggy_lad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,373 ✭✭✭✭foggy_lad


    What is it with Dog Crap? why are so many against it? years ago nobody ever picked up after their dogs as they were out running around and crapped in the ditch not on the paths.

    anyone putting feet on seats or other furniture or beds in buses or trains or any other place that is not their home to have their feet removed at the hips.


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    #90
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,858 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Candie wrote: »
    Immediate life sentence to hard labour for either leaving crumbs in the butter, gouging of the butter, or otherwise abusing the butter and leaving it less than pristine for its next sampler.

    This includes those sub-humans who leave the butter in the foil as they abuse it, instead of putting it in a proper butter dish with lid. Unspeakable.

    Actually no, I'd bring back the death penalty for butter abusers. Scourge on civilisation that they are.
    Here you go

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezh7KjVMf0M

    Nostalgia sandwich


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    #91
    Jayop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,388 ✭✭✭✭Jayop


    Ice Maiden wrote: »
    Labour camp for people who say/write "on fleek" and "bae".

    Toilet paper only to be unfurled from behind, you crazy frontways toilet-paper lunatics!

    "on fleek"??

    You couldn't be more wrong with the toilet roll either.


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