If you became dictator of Ireland, what new laws would you make compulsory?

some random drunk

Enforced nudity for all!!! Muahahaha!!!!!

Peregrine

some random drunk wrote: »

Enforced nudity for all!!! Muahahaha!!!!!

You don't want to see me naked. Believe me.

MRnotlob606

People who don't like the heal of a slicepan will be hung , drawn and quarted at the GPO.

ollaetta

People who walk around shops eating or drinking coffee will be shot on sight.

Ditto anyone who doesn't look where they are going because they have their snouts stuck in smartphones. Although a more fitting and cruel punishment might be to tie their hands behind their backs so they couldn't use the fuppin things.

Iwasfrozen

masti123 wrote: »

For me personally,

• Playing music out loud on the bus will now earn you a death sentence
• Use of the word "Mom" by Irish citizens is now strictly prohibited
• Leaving the teabag in the tea will be an instant 40 year jail sentence

I'll edit more in when I see fit, plebs.

1. Huge cuts to social welfare.
2. Cuts to tax across the board especially corporation tax.
3. A focus on STEM subjects in our education system.
4. Third level education to be funded by student loans.
5. The removal of Irish as a compulsory subject and the removal of all government spenditure on Irish language quangos.
6. Lower the overall number of civil servents, cut their wages and refuse to recognize unions.
7. The construction of large scale US style prisons to solve the problem of overcrowding and much harsher sentences on career criminals.
8. Dole recipients to work in their community in exchange for their dole.
9. Dole to be replaced by a credit card that can't be used to purchase alcohol, cigarettes or gambling.
10. Capital punishment to be brought back in for paramilitaries by means of lethal injection. After their bodies are to be cremated and ashes scattered to leave no graves.

That's good for now, you're welcome Ireland.

Buona Fortuna

Peregrine wrote: »

You don't want to see me naked. Believe me.

Cripes man turn the webcam off wouldya

maudgonner

Candie wrote: »

Immediate life sentence to hard labour for either leaving crumbs in the butter, gouging of the butter, or otherwise abusing the butter and leaving it less than pristine for its next sampler.

This includes those sub-humans who leave the butter in the foil as they abuse it, instead of putting it in a proper butter dish with lid. Unspeakable.

Actually no, I'd bring back the death penalty for butter abusers. Scourge on civilisation that they are.

In college I lived with a girl who took this to extremes. She liked her toast burned. She applied butter to it liberally, and then to avoid wasting the butter she would scrape off the excess and put it back in the tub. Needless to say, nobody ever used it. There would be lumps of disgusting grey carbon-butter sitting there looking at you until you threw it out.

We're still good friends, despite her obvious dispicableness. I'll miss her when you have her killed.

Schwiiing

TV3, GAA, smoking, alcohol, tattoos and fake tan will be banned.

Drug users will shot with **** for my own amusement.

Improper use of roundabouts will result in the death penalty.

Speed limits , car tax and insurance will be abolished.

Petrol will be free for owners of cars with 200 or more horsepower.

Donegal, Cork and Dublin will be detatched from the mainland and allowed to float away and their inhabitants left to slowly starve to death.

Hammer89

I'd outlaw those skin-tight black leggings on girls under the age of 18. If I was their da, they wouldn't be wearing them. They're ridiculously tight and there's something very wrong about seeing a 14-year-old girl's cameltoe

biko

Easy, prison for spammers/clickbaiters.

Menas

Everybody who is an adult should wash, every day.

Butter alternatives banned.

Free scones for all.

Buona Fortuna

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

That's the way its suppose to be Adolf.

I used to like you. Now I'm just in a haze of disappointed.

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Hang the bastards that put wet spoons in the sugar. Evil.

Hanging is too good and too fast. Make 'em suffer a really lot.

Schwiiing

Irish and Religion will be removed from schools but you can practice them in your own time.

Every child shall learn a musical instrument.

1 hour of enforced physical excercise per day.

No VAT on sport/fitness equipment.

Plastic may not be used as food container material.

blindside88

biko wrote: »

Easy, prison for spammers/clickbaiters.

The prisons would be full of Joe.ie employees

Ruu

Irish people using the word 'awesome'. Public flogging, no less than 40 lashes.

Iwasfrozen

Ruu wrote: »

Irish people using the word 'awesome'. Public flogging, no less than 40 lashes.

What if something is awesome in the old sense?

Ruu

Ruu wrote: »

Irish people using the word 'awesome'. Public flogging, no less than 40 lashes.

Totally, dude.

foggy_lad

Outlaw all religion especially those humanists and make everyone go for a long walk instead at least twice a week.

No more prisons as anyone committing crimes would be executed in the village/town square at the weekends.

Buona Fortuna

Ruu wrote: »

Irish people using the word 'awesome'. Public flogging, no less than 40 lashes.

Awesome.

Schwiiing

Home Economics, Music and Art compulsory in schools.

Fat tax of E10/kg per month for every kg overweight based on BMI.

bottlebrush

I'd outlaw the word 'like'

Ruu

Iwasfrozen wrote: »

What if something is awesome in the old sense?

That's a grey area right now.

maudgonner

biko wrote: »

Easy, prison for spammers/clickbaiters.

You won't believe the sentence they got!



Smalltalk to be banned from all hairdressers. If they fail to adhere to this rule their vocal cords are to be snipped. If they resort to sign language cut their hands off. Let's see them try to cut hair Christy-Brown-style.

(i.e. using their feet, not copying Christy's hairstyle, although I'm sure it was lovely)

People who don't pick up after their dogs would be forced to compose their evening meal around it.

tomwaterford

Outlaw cranberry juice and Brennan's bread

maudgonner

tomwaterford wrote: »

Outlaw cranberry juice and Brennan's bread

Rename blaas. It's just not an appetising name - too close to bleurghs.

Schwiiing

People with stretched earlobes shall have heavy padlocks put through the holes. The bigger the hole, the bigger the padlock.

All pet cats shall be confiscated and released to the wild.

Archeron

People pushing shopping trollies in supermarkets should be required by law to beep when walking backwards.

maudgonner

I love this thread. I'm pretty sure we can put together a manifesto and sweep the boards at the next election. We actually would have a mandate for change.

Dravokivich

biko wrote: »

Easy, prison for spammers/clickbaiters.

You'd never guess what the fifth clickbaiter spammed.