If you became dictator of Ireland, what new laws would you make compulsory?

masti123

For me personally,

• Playing music out loud on the bus will now earn you a death sentence
• Use of the word "Mom" by Irish citizens is now strictly prohibited
• Leaving the teabag in the tea will be an instant 40 year jail sentence

I'll edit more in when I see fit, plebs.

Anyone who says "Paddys Day" will be flogged.

eeguy

Anyone who believes their antisocial behaviour should be allowed as it's part of their "culture" should be immediately shot.

Immediate life sentence to hard labour for either leaving crumbs in the butter, gouging of the butter, or otherwise abusing the butter and leaving it less than pristine for its next sampler.

This includes those sub-humans who leave the butter in the foil as they abuse it, instead of putting it in a proper butter dish with lid. Unspeakable.

Actually no, I'd bring back the death penalty for butter abusers. Scourge on civilisation that they are.

Shenshen

Throw rubbish out of a car window and you'll be thrown out of that same window, at the same speed.

Peregrine

Anyone who leaves crumbs in the butter will get the maximum sentence — no more butter for you, ya little ****e!

Edit: Damn you, Candie, and your lenient sentencing.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

Anyone who says "Paddys Day" will be flogged.

Bad as it is, it's oceans of enormity better than ''Pattys Day''.

Cortina_MK_IV

• High fives by non-US natives will result in having the hands of the offender chopped off.
• Failure to use a vehicle indicator will result in impounding and crushing the vehicle with the offender still in it.

Your Face

Democracy

antodeco

Stopping to figure out where you are going to at the end or top of an escalator, is a prison term!

Get out of the way as I hurtle towards you at a slow pace!!

Savvy student

People who wear pyjamas to Tesco/any other supermarket/shop will be shot on sight.

aaronjumper

That laws can be created and broken by my word alone.
Save on paperwork, for me at least.

Cantstandsya

The words "random" and "sick" would be banned as would wearing wellies for any reason other than utility.

Buona Fortuna

I'd ban all sport.

All balls would be confiscated. I'd create a Minster of Balls to look after them.

I'd build houses on all the unused pitches and the GAA could go and do one.

JonnyM

Anyone who leaves the toilet roll under(pic below) should have their hands chopped off.

blindside88

The butter has been covered above so well done on that.
I'd have 20 years in jail for anyone that uses "what about the bankers/the homeless/ the immigrants/ Denis O'Brien" in arguments that have absolutely nothing to do with them.
Also people that use Pacific instead of Specific would have their tongues cut out and thrown in the Pacific ocean.
I would have minimum speed limits on motorways and snipers set up to kill people that hog the outside lane when there is no traffic on the left lane.
Finally I would set up a televised hunger games on one of the smaller islands. I would fill the games with paedophiles and sell tv rights and take bets (the profits would pay for the snipers on the motorways)

Buona Fortuna

JonnyM wrote: »

Anyone who leaves the toilet roll under(pic below) should have their hands chopped off.

That's the way its suppose to be Adolf.

AnonoBoy

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

All balls would be confiscated. I'd create a Minster of Balls to look after them.

I know a few lads who'd be more than happy to be Minister of Balls.

Berserker

Life sentence for anyone who wears a leprechaun hat. Public flogging for anyone over the age of 18 who wears a GAA jersey in public.

Ogogo

Obviously as the new dictator the first thing you should do would be to outlaw "Free" elections..... Lest some idiot think of challenging your dictatorship at the ballot box.

Dravokivich

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I know a few lads who'd be more than happy to be Minister of Balls.

Dunno... What if they were incompetent?

dashcamdanny

Ban interpreters at the social welfare office.

maudgonner

Execute all the presenters of Xposé.

I don't care if any of ye think they're rides, or they have children who will miss them. No exceptions, they only have themselves to blame.

AnonoBoy

Dravokivich wrote: »

Dunno... What if they were incompetent?

Mishandling of Balls is a serious offence that nobody should take lightly. We'd have to have a team of Balls Experts in reserve just in case.

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

That's the way its suppose to be Adolf.

no. No. NO. NO. NO! NOOOOO!!!!!!!

*ahem*

It's not.

frag420

A lifetime of hard labour for infecting my jam and/or marmalade with your devil jizz.....fooking butter!!

Candie wrote: »

Immediate life sentence to hard labour for either leaving crumbs in the butter, gouging of the butter, or otherwise abusing the butter and leaving it less than pristine for its next sampler.

This includes those sub-humans who leave the butter in the foil as they abuse it, instead of putting it in a proper butter dish with lid. Unspeakable.

Actually no, I'd bring back the death penalty for butter abusers. Scourge on civilisation that they are.

JonnyM

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

That's the way its suppose to be Adolf.

Those who oppose this will be sentenced to hard labour.

KERSPLAT!

Candie wrote: »

Immediate life sentence to hard labour for either leaving crumbs in the butter, gouging of the butter, or otherwise abusing the butter and leaving it less than pristine for its next sampler.

This includes those sub-humans who leave the butter in the foil as they abuse it, instead of putting it in a proper butter dish with lid. Unspeakable.

Actually no, I'd bring back the death penalty for butter abusers. Scourge on civilisation that they are.

Hang the bastards that put wet spoons in the sugar. Evil.

maudgonner

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Hang the bastards that put wet spoons in the sugar. Evil.

Worse still: wet spoon into coffee and then into sugar, infecting the sugar with coffee. Absolute bastards.

from_atozinc

People in jail should be made work. Chain gang etc

Straight to jail for anyone with greater than 5 offences. No need for court.

Death penalty for greater than 20 offences.

KERSPLAT!

maudgonner wrote: »

Worse still: wet spoon into coffee and then into sugar, infecting the sugar with coffee. Absolute bastards.

There's a special kind of hell for those people.

GLaDOS

I would outlaw terrible music.

What constitutes "terrible music" will be decided on a completely subjective basis by myself.