Women commenting on and rejecting men due to height

Shakespeare's Sister · 11-10-2014 11:31AM

pwurple wrote: »

It freaks me out slightly reading that people can't help the age of the people they fancy.

But they can't. Unfortunately we know there are people who fancy under-age people. Obviously they are just going to have to endure this and not do anything in relation to it, but if the people fancied are legal but young, it's the attitude of the older person who gets involved with them that's more critical, not simply the fact that they're young.

Shakespeare's Sister · 11-10-2014 11:33AM

Mister Vain wrote: »

Good point. If Ryan Gosling (33) approached an average 18 year old girl in a club and started chatting her up, she'd probably be chuffed. Some normal 33 year old Joe soap approaches an 18 year old and he's an auld perv.

Just over and over and over and over. Really, does this line ever get boring?

It's tiresome the way fickleness in relation to looks is deemed a female only trait. There's a thread elsewhere about a woman getting preferential treatment from a male judge for stupidly extreme speeding due to being good-looking.

Shakespeare's Sister · 11-10-2014 11:38AM

Nothing wrong with acknowledging a lot of men prefer younger women, or with men having this preference.
It gets unpleasant though when there is the refusal to acknowledge women can be attractive - often very attractive - beyond their late 20s/early 30s and when the disgusting insults about them being dried up and desperate and on the shelf start getting churned out. In fairness it's usually only clueless kids who say **** like this but it doesn't make it any less despicable.
It's not cut and dry either. I was a plain teenager/early 20-something. I was very pale, circles under the eyes, looked like a Bronte character. Severe-looking, pinched. I was very thin. Definitely had a better body than I have now :pac: but was not what would be deemed pretty. Very little male attention (which was fine by me - never did I feel bitter towards people for not fancying me

).

It was from my mid 20s that I started to grow into myself (and just "grow" - a teeny bit of weight gain benefitted me as it softened my face out and made me look a bit more curvy than "angular"

) looks-wise and veer more in the pretty direction, and get more male attention. 10-12 years on, that hasn't fizzled out tbh.

RDM_83 again · 11-10-2014 12:21PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Just over and over and over and over. Really, does this line ever get boring?

It's tiresome the way fickleness in relation to looks is deemed a female only trait. There's a thread elsewhere about a woman getting preferential treatment from a male judge for stupidly extreme speeding due to being good-looking.

Note thats not really my point, my point is simply that taking two groups that both maintain themselves to a level of physical perfection far beyond what the average Joe and Joan can do, male and female film stars, and then contrast the age of the oldest filmstar people would fancy and you see a marked difference between men and woman.

Personally I think men probably have it way easier compared to woman in terms of looks, I remember a thread in AH where woman were going on about Snickers being sexy thats the sort of stuff I would wear casually into work everyday (if I didn't think Snickers were way to expensive at 70 bucks a pair). However if its stupid to think that attractive woman don't often get preferential treatment perhaps the same thing happens with attractive men too.
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1559-1816.1994.tb01552.x/abstract

Shakespeare's Sister · 11-10-2014 12:24PM

Mike747 wrote: »

Disagree very strongly. Take a 19 year old girl and compare her with a 29 year old. No comparison.

Yeh I DID look a lot better at 29 than at 19, and got far more male attention at 29 than at 19.
You're not wrong in preferring, overall, younger women - that's just your preference, but you are completely wrong to say there's a black and white "rule" that all women under 25 look better than all women over 25. It's simply incorrect.
Can't understand how you could "disagree very strongly" with that poster anyway, seeing as they said "Most women I know look immeasurably better in their mid to late 20s than they ever did as spotty/chubby/awkward 18 year olds. Besides the ones that have gained a heap of weight and live poor lifestyle as, but you'll find those in both sexes."
It wasn't subjective.

If they had simply said "I think women in their late 20s look better than women in their late teens", then you'd have cause to disagree with them.

Reminds me I recently had a hilarious argument with a drunk feminist who claimed she was going to be just as attractive when she's 70 as she is now (about 27).

Well yeh that's silly of her (if it really happened) but it's an extreme, and utterly miles off saying some women aged 29 look better than some women aged 19.

Shakespeare's Sister · 11-10-2014 12:32PM

RDM_83 again wrote: »

Note thats not really my point, my point is simply that taking two groups that both maintain themselves to a level of physical perfection far beyond what the average Joe and Joan can do, male and female film stars, and then contrast the age of the oldest filmstar people would fancy and you see a marked difference between men and woman.

But I wasn't quoting you, I was quoting Mr Vain. The line "A woman wouldn't consider a guy sleazy if he was good-looking" gets used to death in here and it looks really resentful.
It's not that it's not true at times, it's just that the over-use of it grates. And it, like so many posts here, gets held up as representative of most or all women. If I fancy a guy who starts chatting me up, then yeh, I'm going to be more receptive to him than to a guy whom I don't fancy (nothing wrong with this - it's normal and natural and applies to both sexes) but I wouldn't consider the guy whom I don't fancy to be a "sleaze" - just a guy chatting me up, which isn't an easy thing to do.
I only consider guys sleazy if they're acting sleazy.

if its stupid to think that attractive woman don't often get preferential treatment perhaps the same thing happens with attractive men too.
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1559-1816.1994.tb01552.x/abstract

Well yeh I acknowledged that. What I was saying was that it gets held up as something only, or mostly, done by women.

Roquentin · 11-10-2014 12:54PM

Wibbs wrote: »

Sounds about right R, though I'm not that sure. I recall being at some party or other with a few mates in our mid 30's and there was a woman there who was drop dead WTF do they even make people like you in reality, gorgeous. She triggered every switch in the Y chromosome, even gay lads might be thinking "ok not for me, but in fairness I can see the appeal". She turned out to be just turned 18...

Now while we all looked at her and admired(she was very sound too which added to the mix), she didn't quite pass the Willie Test(tm). She was too young for us. There was a disconnect going on. We even had a confab about it. On paper hell yes, but in reality no. If we'd been 20? Form a queue lads and take a number so we can work out later who got the best rejection. "Paul wins, she kicked him in the nuts" But otherwise no and on an "instinctive" level. She was actually flirting like crazy with one of my mates and he was lovin it the prick but again in a disconnected way. If she'd been say 24 or 34, he'd have jumped her on the spot.

Now maybe this is a cultural thing? Certainly some cultures would have no issue with older(read more powerful) men getting with a young woman, but even there and from what i've read of such cultures the guys get into it as much for status as anything else and their stated preferred age of the women they dig is often older. 25-35 seems to be close to the "sweet spot" for men of any age.

this is what i was saying though. Sub consciously the attraction is there. Sub consciously you looked at this woman and labelled her attractive, but consciously you thought better than to pursue. You cannot deny attraction. it is instinctive.

The trade off then is men and women marry on this attraction into unhappy relationships and convince themselves that they are happy(because the other partner is attractive) but thats another thread.

Men would be attracted to women right across the board. If she is attractive you will be attracted to her, be she 18 or 50. I reiterate, when you see a woman first, age does not come into the equation. Your opinions are a response to visual cues. It is only when you correlate the age with the woman, that you think, ok, maybe i can or cant pursue that avenue.

What we call the culture of the day is the moral zeitgeist and it decides albeit silently what is the soup of the day. And it differs from culture to culture. Travellers for instance get married very young because that is their culture. In brazil the culture is far more open and so on. and just because we play by certain rules in ireland doesnt make it wrong or right.

Roquentin · 11-10-2014 01:59PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

But they can't. Unfortunately we know there are people who fancy under-age people. Obviously they are just going to have to endure this and not do anything in relation to it, but if the people fancied are legal but young, it's the attitude of the older person who gets involved with them that's more critical, not simply the fact that they're young.

exactly. i cannot stress this enough. you are free to choose in life, but not free from the consequences of that choice

Roquentin · 11-10-2014 02:08PM

pwurple wrote: »

It freaks me out slightly reading that people can't help the age of the people they fancy.

you are confusing instinctive attractiveness with choice. i could walk down a city street and see a number of women. i could say without knowing their age, shes attractive, shes attractive, shes not attractive etc....But thats where it ends and i never see them again. I making instinctive decisions in fractions of seconds.

I dont say to myself: shes exactly 5,8 inches and i am only attracted to women who are 5,8 inches tall.

If i said on a dating website for instance that i am looking for a woman aged 23-29 lets say, that doesnt mean when a 29 year old woman turns 30, that she suddenly loses her attraction.

For the last time, the mind doesnt not quantify age with regards instinctive attractiveness. It sees what it deems attractive and then decides to actively pursue that avenue on what it knows. It then may find out other things (she has a boyfriend, married, too young) and yes again, makes a choice on whether to pursue it.

The one thing you can do in life is choose and you and you alone are held responsible for those choices

Calibos · 11-10-2014 04:17PM

bb1234567. You are late teens going on a post above about being a little over half the age of 30something actresses. Do you not think, your earlier comment about disgust at the thoughts of a future teenage daughter being seen as sexualy attractive by 30 something+ men is simply the same spectrum of thought as the ick factor at the thoughts of your parents still being sexually active or the common teenage refrain that anyone 15 years or more older than you is an oul fella/oul one?

To my mind there is nothing wrong or seedy in me seeing a gorgeous 16 year old girl walk by and think to myself "Wowza! She's going to be a heart breaker in a few more years". What would be seedy is me actually acting on that attraction and trying to chat her up.

If that 16 year old girl was my daughter instead, sure my protective radar would be scanning and I would notice every fella that noticed her, but I certainly wouldn't think less of any of them no matter their age assuming she just momentarily caught their attention because for a bloke no matter what age its basically an autonomic reaction. If the initial glances or look over the shoulder turned to staring or letching or chatting up (if I wasn't right beside her), then and only then would they move into my mental seedy bastard folder requiring intervention.

Mister Vain · 11-10-2014 05:01PM

smurgen wrote: »

As a tall man I'd say short guys don't have anything to be envious about. Ive two friends who are shortish and are majorly hung up on it.I think it has its advantages. Easier to put on muscle and more adgile for sports.

That's not true at all. The ability to gain muscle depends on your body type. The 3 main types are ectomorph (slim), endomorph (fat), and mesomorph, (somewhere in between, this is the ideal type to have.) It has nothing to do with height.

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Just over and over and over and over. Really, does this line ever get boring?

It's tiresome the way fickleness in relation to looks is deemed a female only trait. There's a thread elsewhere about a woman getting preferential treatment from a male judge for stupidly extreme speeding due to being good-looking.

You've completely lost me there tbh. What line are you talking about?

AndreaCollins · 11-10-2014 05:19PM

There have been many women who have got depressed at losing their looks and how their lives have changed as male attention got fewer and fewer. Laugh lines, forehead lines, eye lines, skin declining and so on. These have a devastating effect on a lot of women I've seen and generally it starts to kick in past 25. Past 35 its in full effect. This is life and we have to accept it and do the best with what we have but generally I think women who are 30 are nowhere near as attractive as women who are late teens/early 20s and I'm entitled to have that opinion. Of course you get the odd exceptions but even the best 30 year old will struggle to look as good as the best late teens/early 20s girl. I'm 19 and in my prime and loving it but I know that I'll age and I accept it.

Galwayguy35 · 11-10-2014 06:44PM

I think apart from being attracted to a woman who was 18 or 19 if the man is a lot older then they will have nothing in common as they are at different stages in life.

I dated a 19 year old for a few months when I was 34 and found this was the case for me personally, she wanted to go to clubs every weekend with her friends from college and I hd that well out of my system at that point.

Shakespeare's Sister · 11-10-2014 07:04PM

AndreaCollins wrote: »

There have been many women who have got depressed at losing their looks and how their lives have changed as male attention got fewer and fewer.

"Attention got fewer" - that isn't even a sentence. But yes, of course people get down about this reality of life - when it actually starts occurring.

Laugh lines, forehead lines, eye lines, skin declining and so on. These have a devastating effect on a lot of women I've seen and generally it starts to kick in past 25.

No you haven't.

Everyone knows lots of people over 25 and will testify that you're wrong.

Past 35 its in full effect.

Nope, wrong again.

This is life and we have to accept it and do the best with what we have but generally I think women who are 30 are nowhere near as attractive as women who are late teens/early 20s and I'm entitled to have that opinion.]

Of course you are.

Of course you get the odd exceptions but even the best 30 year old will struggle to look as good as the best late teens/early 20s girl.

Again, you're wrong. Oh such wrongness!

I'm 19

No you're not.

And you're not female either. Good ploy though.

Everyone knows women don't deteriorate in any noticeable way in their 20s or even 30s (this is difficult for the very young kids reading but they'll grasp it as they get older). A tiny handful of men who hate women like saying they do because, well, they hate women so like insulting us.

LordNorbury · 11-10-2014 07:44PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

No you haven't.
Everyone knows lots of people over 25 and will testify that you're wrong.

Very well said... ^^^

Best looking girl I know personally is 38, this thing where you think women, in terms of their attractiveness, will sit neatly into little boxes like you have created, is an absolute load of crap I think. Some people get better looking as they get older, where they may have looked geeky in their early 20's, they turn really beautiful as they head into their mid 30's, some people look stunning in their 20's and lose their physical appeal as they get into their 30's, there is no rule that covers everyone...

Shakespeare's Sister · 11-10-2014 07:47PM

The stuff about women becoming unattractive from their mid 20s on is of course a myth propagated by women too - I'm not solely blaming unpleasant men for it. If anything it's women who are worse for it.
Cosmetic companies telling us every day we're getting more unattractive by the minute are just the tip of the iceberg.

ancapailldorcha · 11-10-2014 07:58PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

The stuff about women becoming unattractive from their mid 20s on is of course a myth propagated by women too - I'm not solely blaming unpleasant men for it. If anything it's women who are worse for it.
Cosmetic companies telling us every day we're getting more unattractive by the minute are just the tip of the iceberg.

It's multifaceted. You have girls told growing up that they have to look nice and try to appear young from their mid-twenties onward and then go on to inculcate these value in their daughters. Problem is, we want a simple explanation and a villain to hate. It's one of the main reasons I'm glad I'm a man and I can't believe cosmetics companies are still pulling this sh*t to be honest.

Shakespeare's Sister · 11-10-2014 08:02PM

Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with acknowledging that well into our 40s the staunch signs of ageing start to appear - there's nothing wrong with ageing, a perfectly natural process.
The terror of ageing, even when getting old, is pretty sad and ridiculous.

But imbuing that age anxiety thing on people in their 20s and 30s is a cynical stunt too, and pure manipulation of impressionable people (this applies to men also - the terror of baldness being a good example; a man being bald has never been a turn-off for me personally anyway

).

AndreaCollins · 11-10-2014 08:10PM

Being bald is unfortunately a thing that has an effect on guys confidence, especially if they are young. I think by and large that having a full head of healthy hair is more attractive than being bald, and this is why guys have a hard time going bald.

Similarly women generally (generally is an important word) have a hard time with the facial lines, skin deterioration and so on. If none of this mattered, then there would be no cosmetic industry. I don't have to quote you the numbers of how lucrative the cosmetic industry is I hope.

So I find your post quite overall a PC post and not really in touch with reality.

LordNorbury · 11-10-2014 08:12PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with acknowledging that well into our 40s the staunch signs of ageing start to appear - there's nothing wrong with ageing, a perfectly natural process.
The terror of ageing, even when getting old, is pretty sad and ridiculous.

But imbuing that age anxiety thing on people in their 20s and 30s is a cynical stunt too, and pure manipulation of impressionable people (this applies to men also - the terror of baldness being a good example; a man being bald has never been a turn-off for me personally anyway ).

Baldness does carry a terror of it's very own I have to agree. It has never happened to me and is very unlikely to, but I would have a crisis on my hands if it were ever to happen I have to say.

But like everything else I suppose you deal with the cards you get dealt and you make the best out of it on the day...

AndreaCollins · 11-10-2014 08:12PM

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

It's multifaceted. You have girls told growing up that they have to look nice and try to appear young from their mid-twenties onward and then go on to inculcate these value in their daughters. Problem is, we want a simple explanation and a villain to hate. It's one of the main reasons I'm glad I'm a man and I can't believe cosmetics companies are still pulling this sh*t to be honest.

Blaming the companies is a bit like the chaps that were blaming McDonalds for making them fat a few years back.

Shakespeare's Sister · 11-10-2014 08:13PM

AndreaCollins wrote: »

Blaming the companies is a bit like the chaps that were blaming McDonalds for making them fat a few years back.

They have a role to play whether it's convenient for you to admit or not. It's not entire blame of them, it's just acknowledgement of a role.

Shakespeare's Sister · 11-10-2014 08:28PM

AndreaCollins wrote: »

Being bald is unfortunately a thing that has an effect on guys confidence, especially if they are young. I think by and large that having a full head of healthy hair is more attractive than being bald, and this is why guys have a hard time going bald.

Similarly women generally (generally is an important word) have a hard time with the facial lines, skin deterioration and so on. If none of this mattered, then there would be no cosmetic industry. I don't have to quote you the numbers of how lucrative the cosmetic industry is I hope.

So I find your post quite overall a PC post and not really in touch with reality.

Do you even know what PC means? It's terribly misused.

Penny Tration · 11-10-2014 08:29PM

AndreaCollins wrote: »

There have been many women who have got depressed at losing their looks and how their lives have changed as male attention got fewer and fewer. Laugh lines, forehead lines, eye lines, skin declining and so on. These have a devastating effect on a lot of women I've seen and generally it starts to kick in past 25. Past 35 its in full effect. This is life and we have to accept it and do the best with what we have but generally I think women who are 30 are nowhere near as attractive as women who are late teens/early 20s and I'm entitled to have that opinion. Of course you get the odd exceptions but even the best 30 year old will struggle to look as good as the best late teens/early 20s girl. I'm 19 and in my prime and loving it but I know that I'll age and I accept it.

Lol. I'm 25, not a wrinkle or frown line in sight. My boyfriend is 30 and similarly, not a wrinkle or frown line in sight.

The majority of my friends are over 27 and only one has wrinkles.

Shakespeare's Sister · 11-10-2014 08:36PM

I'm 36 - fine lines are finally starting to show on my forehead; that's it.

I have white hairs but have been getting them since 18.

I don't appreciate unpleasant, bitter, malcontent comments that I'm unattractive and past it when I'm not. I would never say such mentalist stuff about anyone, male or female. Some people have no social skills.

Mister Vain · 11-10-2014 08:39PM

If you take modelling as an example, agencies generally won't hire anyone over 25. Actually 16-21 year olds would be preferable. That's when they're considered to be at their peek. Then you have the size 0 models which is another matter entirely and a look that most men probably wouldn't find attractive. A lot of fashion models aren't actually that attractive.

I agree that some people do get better looking as they get older. I think Kylie Minogue was more attractive in the 90's than she was in the 80's.

Shakespeare's Sister · 11-10-2014 08:45PM

Mister Vain wrote: »

If you take modelling as an example, agencies generally won't hire anyone over 25. Actually 16-21 year olds would be preferable.

It doesn't mean they're right though. As if Heidi Klum now couldn't look good on a catwalk, or Elle McPherson.

Mister Vain · 11-10-2014 08:48PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

It doesn't mean they're right though. As if Heidi Klum now couldn't look good on a catwalk, or Elle McPherson.

Ohh I agree, I'm just making the point that it feeds into the whole women are dinosaurs at 25 shyte. Actually some of the retired models probably look better now than they did when they were working.

Shakespeare's Sister · 11-10-2014 08:50PM

Mister Vain wrote: »

Ohh I agree, I'm just making the point that it feeds into the whole women are dinosaurs at 25 shyte.

Sorry for not being clear - I know you weren't saying they're right.

AndreaCollins · 11-10-2014 09:01PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

I'm 36 - fine lines are finally starting to show on my forehead; that's it.

I have white hairs but have been getting them since 18.

I don't appreciate unpleasant, bitter, malcontent comments that I'm unattractive and past it when I'm not. I would never say such mentalist stuff about anyone, male or female. Some people have no social skills.

Even though I highlighted the word "generally" and accounted for exceptions, you still didn't seem to get it and took the post personally, which is a shame.

Women commenting on and rejecting men due to height

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