Women commenting on and rejecting men due to height

Roquentin

Mister Vain wrote: »

Just a quick question: how old is too old to be going for 18 year olds?

id say after about 22

bb1234567

Mister Vain wrote: »

Just a quick question: how old is too old to be going for 18 year olds?

Half your age +7.
So as a rule of thumb if youre over 22 you shouldnt date anyone 18 or under/

Mister Vain

Ahh that's rubbish. That's only 4 years of an age gap like. I think anything up to 25 is acceptable.

Roquentin

pwurple wrote: »

It's beyond creepy when guys have to go to teen discos to pick up their preferred type of girl. 17 year olds can't even get into a pub. It's certainly not how all men are wired, only a few.

lets say a hypothetical 17 year old girl was very attractive. all men who are psychologically sound will say she is attractive. They will look at her and make inferences about her looks. Like it or not, that is genetically hardwired.

Now what is not genetically hardwired is how we respond to that perception. Most men equate that she is 17 years old with it being morally wrong to even go near her and hence CHOOSE not to go near her. Some men make a conscious choice to chase her even though they are too old. The difference between the men who chase and those who dont, is not lack of attraction, it is choice.

The attraction is sub conscious. It is instinctive. The response to the attraction is conscious and can be controlled.

When you go back to when we were monkeys, there was no language or age. When you saw another animal, that animal was labeled sub consciously either a threat or a friend. So another monkey was friend and a lion was a threat. It was a sub conscious response to what you observed. This still carries on in 21st century life.

Roquentin

being existential nihilistic, there is no right and wrong in life. But the moral zeitgeist sort of determines the unwritten rules of society. What you can do and what you cant.

You go over to china and korea, they eat dogs and cruelly kill them. In western culture that would be deemed a horror and not allowed.

My point is that we generally make up the rules to benefit ourselves. Have you ever questioned why is it that marriage and work are deemed the necessary components of life in the western world. People sort of just casually accept that marriage and work are the way to go about things

maybe ive studied too much existentialism

paddy1990

Roquentin wrote: »

being existential nihilistic, there is no right and wrong in life. But the moral zeitgeist sort of determines the unwritten rules of society. What you can do and what you cant.

You go over to china and korea, they eat dogs and cruelly kill them. In western culture that would be deemed a horror and not allowed.

My point is that we generally make up the rules to benefit ourselves. Have you ever questioned why is it that marriage and work are deemed the necessary components of life in the western world. People sort of just casually accept that marriage and work are the way to go about things

maybe ive studied too much existentialism

Very good post. You're clued up. The zeitgeist is a sham.

Soft Falling Rain

How have we got to the current conversation from a thread about height?

bb1234567

Mister Vain wrote: »

Ahh that's rubbish. That's only 4 years of an age gap like. I think anything up to 25 is acceptable.

Well, I suppose everyone has their own opinion. I just dont think many 18 year olds would date 25 year olds, I definitely wouldnt anyway. 22 oldest

Lucy and Harry

Tom Cruise.Mel Gibson.Stallone.Beckham.all small and all icons

bb1234567

Soft Falling Rain wrote: »

How have we got to the current conversation from a thread about height?

Height led to general conversation about preference, attraction, genetics, age etc...

bb1234567

Lucy and Harry wrote: »

Tom Cruise.Mel Gibson.Stallone.Beckham.all small and all icons

Beckham is over 6 foot I just looked it up ??

iptba

Lucy and Harry wrote: »

Tom Cruise.Mel Gibson.Stallone.

I've heard it said people were surprised at their lack of height/how short they were (or appeared) when they saw them in person*. Film can make somebody look differently (esp. if a director wants to).

*possibly only in reference to Stallone and Tom Cruise

Wibbs

Roquentin wrote: »

lets say a hypothetical 17 year old girl was very attractive. all men who are psychologically sound will say she is attractive. They will look at her and make inferences about her looks. Like it or not, that is genetically hardwired.

Now what is not genetically hardwired is how we respond to that perception. Most men equate that she is 17 years old with it being morally wrong to even go near her and hence CHOOSE not to go near her. Some men make a conscious choice to chase her even though they are too old. The difference between the men who chase and those who dont, is not lack of attraction, it is choice.

The attraction is sub conscious. It is instinctive. The response to the attraction is conscious and can be controlled.

Sounds about right R, though I'm not that sure. I recall being at some party or other with a few mates in our mid 30's and there was a woman there who was drop dead WTF do they even make people like you in reality, gorgeous. She triggered every switch in the Y chromosome, even gay lads might be thinking "ok not for me, but in fairness I can see the appeal". She turned out to be just turned 18...

Now while we all looked at her and admired(she was very sound too which added to the mix), she didn't quite pass the Willie Test(tm). She was too young for us. There was a disconnect going on. We even had a confab about it. On paper hell yes, but in reality no. If we'd been 20? Form a queue lads and take a number so we can work out later who got the best rejection. "Paul wins, she kicked him in the nuts" But otherwise no and on an "instinctive" level. She was actually flirting like crazy with one of my mates and he was lovin it the prick but again in a disconnected way. If she'd been say 24 or 34, he'd have jumped her on the spot.

Now maybe this is a cultural thing? Certainly some cultures would have no issue with older(read more powerful) men getting with a young woman, but even there and from what i've read of such cultures the guys get into it as much for status as anything else and their stated preferred age of the women they dig is often older. 25-35 seems to be close to the "sweet spot" for men of any age.

paddy1990

Just LOL Wibbs.

*sees really hot girl*

"Hang on, let me see if I'm attracted to her. She looks really hot. She could be about 24. Let me just check her age first"

*checks age*

"Ah, shes 18. I'm not attracted to her".

Just LOL.

Panthro

paddy1990 wrote: »

Just LOL Wibbs.

*sees really hot girl*

"Hang on, let me see if I'm attracted to her. She looks really hot. She could be about 24. Let me just check her age first"

*checks age*

"Ah, shes 18. I'm not attracted to her".

Just LOL.

I think you missed the point of his post tbh.

Shakespeare's Sister

People can't help who they fancy - and if that includes people who are very young/a lot younger and it leads to relationships/sex, I personally don't see an issue - legality and consent being there obviously.

My only issue would be lack of respect and viewing them as a trophy/prime fillet of meat.

AndreaCollins

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

People can't help who they fancy - and if that includes people who are very young/a lot younger and it leads to relationships/sex, I personally don't see an issue - legality and consent being there obviously.

My only issue would be lack of respect and viewing them as a trophy/prime fillet of meat.

I agree. I think society brainwashes a lot of people though and you get some weird mentalities like I wouldn't like a girl of a certain age, no matter how mature she might be for that age. It's all about what society will think and people are scared of that. It's a shame.

RDM_83 again

I don't really find the offense in the attractiveness and age thing as long as its not put insulting, like look at the age of male filmstars that are lusted after by woman 20-30 years younger than them, the equivalent thing doesn't seem to occur with men to woman. Its not right or wrong it just is. Like if you think about it the real looser in this whole dynamic are younger guys if your an 18-21 year old guy, your not really going to go below 17 if your in anyway normal, out of your equivalent peers a fair few will be hooking up with guys in their late 20's.

pwurple

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

People can't help who they fancy - and if that includes people who are very young/a lot younger and it leads to relationships/sex, I personally don't see an issue - legality and consent being there obviously.

Maybe one of my own experiences has affected my attitude on this. I knew a guy, we were all part of a bunch of friends years ago. Met him when we were all about 17, he had a 17 year old girlfriend then. All normal. Years pass, we all get older, and I start to realise that at age 22, he still has a 17 year old girlfriend, and it's getting weird. Still meets the girls in the same places. He changes girlfriend every year or so. More years pass, same thing. We get embarressed going anywhere with him, comments when we hear he is coming along run to "Jesus, what age will this one be". Another few years pass, his tastes seem to be running for very young looking 17 year olds. He ran into some charges about underage stuff soon after that, went to thailand and dropped off the grid shortly afterwards.

It freaks me out slightly reading that people can't help the age of the people they fancy.

Mister Vain

RDM_83 again wrote: »

I don't really find the offense in the attractiveness and age thing as long as its not put insulting, like look at the age of male filmstars that are lusted after by woman 20-30 years younger than them, the equivalent thing doesn't seem to occur with men to woman.

Good point. If Ryan Gosling (33) approached an average 18 year old girl in a club and started chatting her up, she'd probably be chuffed. Some normal 33 year old Joe soap approaches an 18 year old and he's an auld perv.

Seriously?

As an older gentleman I'll have to agree with Wibbs on this one, while you can appreciate the looks of a much younger woman there does seem to be an instinctive cut-off point when they just seem too young and the attraction just isn’t there.
Maybe paddy as a youthful twenty four year old hasn’t reached that point, give it a few years and come back to us

That said we’d all be liars if we didn’t admit that younger model wasn’t attractive to us as males; just as it would appear for many women an older man seems to hold a corresponding appeal.

Perhaps it’s that while we’re both looking for something, that something is different for the genders.

Mister Vain

Yeah I think most of us have fantasied about a younger or older person at some stage, but actually pursing it is another thing. There's a 17 year old girl who recently started working where I am. She is very attractive and some of the older fellas have commented on her, including myself. Just a bit of banter among the lads, but yeah there is a kind of cut off point. Granted when I first saw her I thought she was older. She looks about 20. It becomes apparent though when you start talking to her.

ALiasEX

pwurple wrote: »

Maybe one of my own experiences has affected my attitude on this. I knew a guy, we were all part of a bunch of friends years ago. Met him when we were all about 17, he had a 17 year old girlfriend then. All normal. Years pass, we all get older, and I start to realise that at age 22, he still has a 17 year old girlfriend, and it's getting weird. Still meets the girls in the same places. He changes girlfriend every year or so. More years pass, same thing. We get embarressed going anywhere with him, comments when we hear he is coming along run to "Jesus, what age will this one be". Another few years pass, his tastes seem to be running for very young looking 17 year olds. He ran into some charges about underage stuff soon after that, went to thailand and dropped off the grid shortly afterwards.

It freaks me out slightly reading that people can't help the age of the people they fancy.

People can't help who they find physically attractive, can you?

Penny Tration

ALiasEX wrote: »

People can't help who they find physically attractive, can you?

We absolutely can't help who we're attracted to, but actively pursuing 17 year olds, like a poster alluded to, is predatory.

Wibbs

green_screen wrote: »

We absolutely can't help who we're attracted to, but actively pursuing 17 year olds, like a poster alluded to, is predatory.

Yep, or I'd look at it another way, a 30 year old falling for a particular 17 year old is understandable, but a 30 year old purposely selecting for 17 year olds to the exclusion of other ages is another matter.

ALiasEX

green_screen wrote: »

We absolutely can't help who we're attracted to, but actively pursuing 17 year olds, like a poster alluded to, is predatory.

I wasn't suggesting otherwise.

Penny Tration

Wibbs wrote: »

Yep, or I'd look at it another way, a 30 year old falling for a particular 17 year old is understandable, but a 30 year old purposely selecting for 17 year olds to the exclusion of other ages is another matter.

That's it in a nutshell, really.

Most of us have fallen for the odd 'unsuitable' person (god knows, I have!). When you deliberately make a habit of it, especially in age gap instances, it's downright nasty.

smurgen

As a tall man I'd say short guys don't have anything to be envious about. Ive two friends who are shortish and are majorly hung up on it.I think it has its advantages. Easier to put on muscle and more adgile for sports. If a woman is rude about it just dust yourself off and move on.its simple a case of different strokes for different folks and there's no need to take it to heart.

bb1234567

RDM_83 again wrote: »

I don't really find the offense in the attractiveness and age thing as long as its not put insulting, like look at the age of male filmstars that are lusted after by woman 20-30 years younger than them, the equivalent thing doesn't seem to occur with men to woman. Its not right or wrong it just is. Like if you think about it the real looser in this whole dynamic are younger guys if your an 18-21 year old guy, your not really going to go below 17 if your in anyway normal, out of your equivalent peers a fair few will be hooking up with guys in their late 20's.

Ah it does...mila kunis, cheryl cole and katemiddleton are all in their early 30's and my friends and I all find them very attractive and were just a bit over half their age

RDM_83 again

bb1234567 wrote: »

Ah it does...mila kunis, cheryl cole and katemiddleton are all in their early 30's and my friends and I all find them very attractive and were just a bit over half their age

Your not really proving your point when I am sure if you straw polled your female mates who are the same age as you if they think Brad Pitt (50) or Johnny Depp (51) is fine who will be more than 3 times their age. I actually used that example because had a conversation about this on a previous job about who would be your oldest celeb and the mens answers were bottoming out at 45-50, (keeping in mind some of us were in late 30's) the womans went up to Harrison Ford (72 :eek: )