Women commenting on and rejecting men due to height

FunLover18

kstand wrote: »

I find it hilarious when some big heifer of a lady comes along with some story of having no luck with men or men not being interested because of the weight, then loads more will come on and tell her there's nothing wrong and she's meeting the wrong men and the men are judgemental or shallow to make her feel better. If weight is an issue and you are conscious of it, then go and do something about it instead of sitting round drinking wine and eating pizza and Chinese and feeling sorry for yourself.
In nature, there is a thing called survival of the fittest - and part of that process involves species searching out the best possible mate to procreate with, to ensure healthy offspring. I don't think it's any different, it's something we do unconsciously and that's the way it is.

I honestly don't think 'survival of the fittest' applies to human race anymore, especially when it comes to procreation. Animals seek out healthy, fit mates, humans seek out love which is a completely illogical force. I agree that women can do something about their weight (although its not easy) but to say that men reject overweight women because they want healthy offspring is utter bollix. If that was the case you could justify women being selective about height because they want their kids to be able to reach the top shelves in Tesco. People ARE judgemental and shallow! You can argue that its rooted in survival of the fittest but at this stage in our evolution I think humans should be well capable of looking beyond that when it comes to both weight and height regardless of what someone can or can't do about it.

DoYouEvenLift

FunLover18 wrote: »

I honestly don't think 'survival of the fittest' applies to human race anymore, especially when it comes to procreation. Animals seek out healthy, fit mates, humans seek out love which is a completely illogical force. I agree that women can do something about their weight (although its not easy) but to say that men reject overweight women because they want healthy offspring is utter bollix. If that was the case you could justify women being selective about height because they want their kids to be able to reach the top shelves in Tesco. People ARE judgemental and shallow! You can argue that its rooted in survival of the fittest but at this stage in our evolution I think humans should be well capable of looking beyond that when it comes to both weight and height regardless of what someone can or can't do about it.

Actually, it is easy. Very easy in fact. Information for everything is freely available to billions of people on the internet today and health and fitness is definitely an area where anything you'd need to know is available. It's as easy as learning how many calories you need to eat to burn fat and sticking to a diet that helps you do that. People can even lose weight doing exactly what they've been doing all along as long as they eat at a caloric deficit. This includes being a couch potato.

Simply put: it's all down to calories in vs calories out. If you're eating less calories than you're expending daily, you WILL lose weight. People just need to ignore and disregard all the retarded "miracle" diets and routines magazines try to get their naieve readers to try and just learn simple biological functions.

Roquentin

FunLover18 wrote: »

I honestly don't think 'survival of the fittest' applies to human race anymore, especially when it comes to procreation. Animals seek out healthy, fit mates, humans seek out love which is a completely illogical force. I agree that women can do something about their weight (although its not easy) but to say that men reject overweight women because they want healthy offspring is utter bollix. If that was the case you could justify women being selective about height because they want their kids to be able to reach the top shelves in Tesco. People ARE judgemental and shallow! You can argue that its rooted in survival of the fittest but at this stage in our evolution I think humans should be well capable of looking beyond that when it comes to both weight and height regardless of what someone can or can't do about it.

its still there, just under different guises. instead of picking the most strongest mate, the female picks the man who perhaps has a stable source of income or she picks a guy based on his status or education or personality.....

Men do the same thing. They dont necessarily pick the best looking woman. They also take status, education etc its just with regards men, looks often play a big role in determining a female.

We are told by romanticists and poets that because we are human we are choosing based on love. But sub consciously we all have these mental checklists with what we desire and this then feeds in consciously to what we call love. Your sub conscious mind takes in everything about a potential partner to give a symbol of what they represent to you consciously.

its not very romantic ill admit

FunLover18

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Actually, it is easy. Very easy in fact. Information for everything is freely available to billions of people on the internet today and health and fitness is definitely an area where anything you'd need to know is available. It's as easy as learning how many calories you need to eat to burn fat and sticking to a diet that helps you do that. People can even lose weight doing exactly what they've been doing all along as long as they eat at a caloric deficit. This includes being a couch potato.

Simply put: it's all down to calories in vs calories out. If you're eating less calories than you're expending daily, you WILL lose weight. People just need to ignore and disregard all the retarded "miracle" diets and routines magazines try to get their naieve readers to try and just learn simple biological functions.

This may be so but I still don't think its justification for judging someone based on weight. Don't get me wrong I judge people on weight, I can't help it and I think for people of a certain weight its merited, but I'm also open to trying to get to know people for who they are. I also don't think there's anything wrong with women/men expecting other people to look past their appearance.

Mister Vain

FunLover18 wrote: »

I wonder how many of them have ever initiated contact. I haven't had a very long experience with online dating bit I've never had a girl message me first

In my 3 years of online dating I'd say I've received about 5 unsolicited messages, and they've all been short, a few words or a single sentence. Something a lot of the women complain over guys doing, yet so many are guilty of it themselves. It seems the men are expected to do the donkey work.

Zascar

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

- Height is completely genetic and cannot be helped
- Being unhealthy and overweight is rarely genetic and is a personal choice and can typically be helped
- Why are some women openly commenting on and rejecting men based on height
- Why do these same women go crazy when men make any comment on a woman's weight

Good post OP it's spot on. I cant find it but i remember seeing a great cartoon that covers this perfectly - A guy getting turned down by a taller woman and her being rude as if it was nothing. Then him turning down a very large lady and getting called a bastard. If anyone can find it please post - its quite apt...

So I'm only 5'6 - and I'm quite thin too. Always had difficulty with women when I was younger and would never approach a taller girl - they can indeed be very mean. I always had a very strong preference for short thin girls - but probably due to my own insecurities. Now I'm a good bit older and its no longer a problem - my current girlfriend is a good 3 inches taller than me. It doesn't bother her in the slightest - and in fact I quite like it as she's very beautiful and people give us the double take all the time. Usually followed by a high five..

DoYouEvenLift

FunLover18 wrote: »

This may be so but I still don't think its justification for judging someone based on weight. Don't get me wrong I judge people on weight, I can't help it and I think for people of a certain weight its merited, but I'm also open to trying to get to know people for who they are. I also don't think there's anything wrong with women/men expecting other people to look past their appearance.

I never said it was justifying it. Was simply correcting that point lol.

spurious

Not exactly as you described, but close to it.

DoYouEvenLift

spurious wrote: »

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/dXiU7dx.jpg[/IG] Not exactly as you described, but close to it.[/img]

Flawless execution!

Potatoeman

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Yeah, definite truth in this post, thing is it's a harsh truth and the majority of people would rather not face the truth than actually challenge themselves to dealing with it, and this isn't just about weight and unhealthy habits, it's relative for a lot of things nowadays. People are top used to their comfort and getting everything easy and just don't want to bother with anything if it takes hard work. And those same people will put down others who are putting in the effort and hard work to make themselves feel better.

Anyway, there are obviously still a lot of men who are into fat/big (I won't say curvy as that word is completely misused and misunderstood nowadays) women and that's totally fine, but if it happens that the fat woman doesn't find any of those men good enough then she'll just have to admit to herself that if she doesn't make a change she'll have to settle for one of them. Women's friends seem terrible for fake reassurance like you describe, also. I've witnessed first hand a fat girl being told "oh men are shallow, there's nothing wrong with you, you deserve so much better" only for them to later talk about her behind her back and mock her. It's brutal. At least a lot of men have the balls to be upfront and honest with their friends and we thank one another for it because it helps us improve ourselves if we want to.

There was a thread in relationship issues a few weeks ago where a posters boyfriend was not attracted to her as she doubled her weight. When he brought it up she told him to see someone else and he did. They lived like this for years and she eventually wanted to end it. The responses were pretty unrealistic. Lots of he should love you for you etc ignoring the fact the poster doubled her weight and told her partner to see other people rather than deal with the issue. I have notice some woman give advice to other woman that can be just awefull but its what they want to hear. It is not doing them any favours. Guys seem to be more grounded in their advice, brutally honest.

DoYouEvenLift

Potatoeman wrote: »

There was a thread in relationship issues a few weeks ago where a posters boyfriend was not attracted to her as she doubled her weight. When he brought it up she told him to see someone else and he did. They lived like this for years and she eventually wanted to end it. The responses were pretty unrealistic. Lots of he should love you for you etc ignoring the fact the poster doubled her weight and told her partner to see other people rather than deal with the issue. I have notice some woman give advice to other woman that can be just awefull but its what they want to hear. It is not doing them any favours. Guys seem to be more grounded in their advice, brutally honest.

Yeah, that's what I prefer. I'd consider myself a bit of a "red piller" because I like questioning everything and facing any harsh truths that might initially hurt to think about and realise but contributes to bettering yourself in the long run. If someone chooses to live in some delusional world where no bad ever happens and they can't handle criticism to the point they blame the rest of the world (a.k.a reality) to make themselves feel better, instead of objectively seeing areas they can improve upon, then they'll never see the best possible version of themselves they could be.

Penny Tration

Potatoeman wrote: »

There was a thread in relationship issues a few weeks ago where a posters boyfriend was not attracted to her as she doubled her weight. When he brought it up she told him to see someone else and he did. They lived like this for years and she eventually wanted to end it. The responses were pretty unrealistic. Lots of he should love you for you etc ignoring the fact the poster doubled her weight and told her partner to see other people rather than deal with the issue. I have notice some woman give advice to other woman that can be just awefull but its what they want to hear. It is not doing them any favours. Guys seem to be more grounded in their advice, brutally honest.

Based on my own personal experience, I think men and women giving rubbish 'advice' is really 50/50. When I was morbidly obese, I had both male and female friends tell me I was gorgeous (and strangely enough, I never had a problem attracting men). Pretty much every friend I have does that whole 'no, you're perfect how you are' stuff.

On the other hand, when a friend complained to me about how her weight restricted her from meeting men (she's about 6 stone overweight), i didn't tell her she's perfect. I actually asked her would she like to start coming to the gym with me. Immediately, the other friends, male and female, were telling me I'm cruel. The same friends, when I lost weight, admitted I looked awful when I was morbidly obese, but they wanted to support me :pac:

The only people, male or female, who are totally honest with weight issues, are my sister and boyfriend. They both tell me I'm beautiful and they love me to bits, but they have no qualms telling me I've gotten complacent if I have a month where I get lazy and eat crap, and I really like that.

newport2

Potatoeman wrote: »

Guys seem to be more grounded in their advice, brutally honest.

green_screen wrote: »

Based on my own personal experience, I think men and women giving rubbish 'advice' is really 50/50. When I was morbidly obese, I had both male and female friends tell me I was gorgeous (and strangely enough, I never had a problem attracting men). Pretty much every friend I have does that whole 'no, you're perfect how you are' stuff.

On the other hand, when a friend complained to me about how her weight restricted her from meeting men (she's about 6 stone overweight), i didn't tell her she's perfect. I actually asked her would she like to start coming to the gym with me. Immediately, the other friends, male and female, were telling me I'm cruel. The same friends, when I lost weight, admitted I looked awful when I was morbidly obese, but they wanted to support me :pac:

The only people, male or female, who are totally honest with weight issues, are my sister and boyfriend. They both tell me I'm beautiful and they love me to bits, but they have no qualms telling me I've gotten complacent if I have a month where I get lazy and eat crap, and I really like that.

I think it's not so much that guys are more grounded than girls in giving advice, it's that it's easier (and safer) to give advice to guys. If a woman asks you a question regarding her appearance, can you be honest? In most cases, no, and even when you can, as a man, you are still playing with fire. Easier just to tell her what you think she wants to hear. If a guy asks you, then just answer. Exceptions to this of course.

For example, I remember years ago, one of my mates turned around to me in the bar and said something along the lines of "Newport2, you realise you're turning into a right fat b$%^rd in the last year or so?". I hadn't realised (or had ignored) that my weight was going up. I wasn't enamoured with the guy at that exact moment, but the following day I started doing something about it and got back in shape over the next year. He did me a big favour. Had I been a woman, there is no way he would have said the same thing. He would have just said I looked great.

Triceratops Ballet

green_screen wrote: »

Based on my own personal experience, I think men and women giving rubbish 'advice' is really 50/50. When I was morbidly obese, I had both male and female friends tell me I was gorgeous (and strangely enough, I never had a problem attracting men). Pretty much every friend I have does that whole 'no, you're perfect how you are' stuff.

On the other hand, when a friend complained to me about how her weight restricted her from meeting men (she's about 6 stone overweight), i didn't tell her she's perfect. I actually asked her would she like to start coming to the gym with me. Immediately, the other friends, male and female, were telling me I'm cruel. The same friends, when I lost weight, admitted I looked awful when I was morbidly obese, but they wanted to support me :pac:

The only people, male or female, who are totally honest with weight issues, are my sister and boyfriend. They both tell me I'm beautiful and they love me to bits, but they have no qualms telling me I've gotten complacent if I have a month where I get lazy and eat crap, and I really like that.

I agree in the past I have just said nothing when any of my friends complain about being over weight (tbf none of us are massive noone is above a size 14) but now when they complain, I will like you said invite them even to come for a walk with me or offer to lend them my insanity dvd, and on a couple of occasions I've just responded with "I'm won't enable your self loathing!" a lot of the time they're just looking for that false praise of "oh no babes you look omg AHHHMAZING!"

If I asked any of my friends (male or female) if I looked fat in something, I would expect the truth, I don't want friends who would let me go out looking like a fat lump!

bb1234567

ILikeBananas wrote: »

I've been using on-line dating and it's quite common to see women specify a preference for tall men right in the middle of their profile. I realise that that's perfectly fine but it's still very demoralising (I'm 5'8). For what it's worth I wouldn't put a preference for slim women in my profile for fear of seeming superficial.

What's made it all worse in the past few years is that the younger generation (18-25) are definitely taller on average (both men and women) than the older generation. I'm 32 now and when I was in school and college there were plenty of guys the same height or smaller than me. Now though, whenever I walk past a gang of people in their late teens they're all towering over me.

lol im 5'9'' and Im 18...feel like a bit of a dwarf sometimes but it doesnt really bother me, im comfortable with my height and do well with girls. Doesnt seem to bother girls Ive been with

bb1234567

reprazant wrote: »

I'd imagine it is no different from lads not wanting to be with ladies that are taller than them. I wouldn't say that too many fellas want to step out with a lady that towers above them in flats.

not really the same...its not that I dont find tall girls attractive, its the fact that people would probably stare at us if my girlfriend was two or more inches taller than me, I would also assume a girl more than inch taller than me wouldnt be interested in the first place so yeah. Its not attraction thats the problem , its the taller girl and other peoples opinions that put me off

Fat Christy

bb1234567 wrote: »

not really the same...its not that I dont find tall girls attractive, its the fact that people would probably stare at us if my girlfriend was two or more inches taller than me, I would also assume a girl more than inch taller than me wouldnt be interested in the first place so yeah. Its not attraction thats the problem , its the taller girl and other peoples opinions that put me off

I'm 5'9 and so is my bf. It's a good job I can't walk in heels.

My bf before that was 5'6. I have never gone out with anyone taller than me.

Pug160

Some women can be harsh, picky and all the rest of it. But many of them have a habit of wearing rose tinted glasses at times, too, and it's worth acknowledging that. There is a lot of whispering going on at my work at the moment about a guy in his mid 40s who has somehow managed to pull an attractive woman in her mid 20s, despite having no obvious qualities at all. He's not only no oil painting or particularly tall, but he doesn't even seem all that pleasant either. I remember someone bluntly telling me that you just need to be a ''tough cu*t mentally'' if you're a man. Women need to be tough too, but men more so when it comes to romantic success as we need to face way more rejections.

Certain environments/situations seem to be way more forgiving. A woman is far less likely to be unpleasant at work or when interacting with other men while enjoying one of her hobbies. Some men are not only tough mentally, but they're crafty and realised at some point in their lives that there's more than one way to skin a cat.

Mister Vain

bb1234567 wrote: »

not really the same...its not that I dont find tall girls attractive, its the fact that people would probably stare at us if my girlfriend was two or more inches taller than me, I would also assume a girl more than inch taller than me wouldnt be interested in the first place so yeah. Its not attraction thats the problem , its the taller girl and other peoples opinions that put me off

I don't think you'd get many stares if there was only a couple of inches in height difference. She'd have to be really towering above you for people to take notice. A girl who is one or two inches taller than me wouldn't put me off either, although I would be a bit reluctant to contact a taller woman on a dating site, especially if they state in their profile that they want a tall guy. As for other peoples opinions, I wouldn't give a toss tbh.

Shakespeare's Sister

bb1234567 wrote: »

lol im 5'9'' and Im 18...feel like a bit of a dwarf sometimes but it doesnt really bother me, im comfortable with my height and do well with girls. Doesnt seem to bother girls Ive been with

I honestly don't get the stuff about 5ft 7/8/9 being short for a man. I'm under 5ft 5, which isn't that small for a woman, it's average height, so 5ft 7/8 for a man is... not "tall" objectively I guess, but not small objectively I would have thought, and certainly grand and tall to me personally.

bb1234567

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

I honestly don't get the stuff about 5ft 7/8/9 being short for a man. I'm under 5ft 5, which isn't that small for a woman, it's average height, so 5ft 7/8 for a man is... not "tall" objectively I guess, but not small objectively I would have thought, and certainly grand and tall to me personally.

If only the majority of ladies thought like you :pac:

ILikeBananas

bb1234567 wrote: »

If only the majority of ladies thought like you :pac:

I've seen women on online dating sites who are 5'0 or 5'1 say things like "Don't bother contacting me if you're under 5'10"

DoYouEvenLift

ILikeBananas wrote: »

I've seen women on online dating sites who are 5'0 or 5'1 say things like "Don't bother contacting me if you're under 5'10"

They need protection from the countless threats they encounter daily like raging cavemen, triceratops and mammoths!

iwantmydinner

ILikeBananas wrote: »

I've seen women on online dating sites who are 5'0 or 5'1 say things like "Don't bother contacting me if you're under 5'10"

Completely aside from the fact that they're potentially missing out on meeting a whole load of awesome people by creating rather arbitrary criteria like that, what's the problem here? I think it's well established that everyone is entitled to a preference.

DoYouEvenLift

iwantmydinner wrote: »

Completely aside from the fact that they're potentially missing out on meeting a whole load of awesome people by creating rather arbitrary criteria like that, what's the problem here? I think it's well established that everyone is entitled to a preference.

Yeah. I'll just go ahead and create a profile with "Don't bother contacting me if you're over 115lbs". Wonder how many replies I'd get and how many of those would include being called shallow and superficial. Hell, some would probably claim I'm "not a real man" for not liking women with "meat" (inverted commas as fat isn't meat).

Oregano_State

paddy1990 wrote: »

Just LOL.

I suppose if a guy prefers a girl with less skin elasticity, more facial lines and so on, then a late 20s girl could be preferable to a fresher.

Dude, you have serious hang-ups over yourself and others.

I'm the same age as you, I look after myself, but no way do I find 17 year olds more attractive than girls my own age. Try going to a house party with a bunch of freshers and see how much you enjoy it. Personalities change a lot between the start of uni and your mid twenties, although judging by some of your posts you might just fit right in as you're coming across as being very shallow and immature.

I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say that you don't have a girlfriend.

iwantmydinner

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Yeah. I'll just go ahead and create a profile with "Don't bother contacting me if you're over 115lbs".

You need to relax. I've seen profiles instructing "heifers" not to message them. You'd swear women had the monopoly on douchebaggery...

Potatoeman

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Yeah. I'll just go ahead and create a profile with "Don't bother contacting me if you're over 115lbs". Wonder how many replies I'd get and how many of those would include being called shallow and superficial. Hell, some would probably claim I'm "not a real man" for not liking women with "meat" (inverted commas as fat isn't meat).

People have preferences theres no point getting upset and no point wasting your time on someone that is not attracted to you. I know people complain about short messages but at the same time reading someones profile and then spending time putting a specific message is a waste of time if they are not attracted you.

DoYouEvenLift

Potatoeman wrote: »

People have preferences theres no point getting upset and no point wasting your time on someone that is not attracted to you. I know people complain about short messages but at the same time reading someones profile and then spending time putting a specific message is a waste of time if they are not attracted you.

I'm perfectly happy with people having preferences, everybody does as we're humans and we're visual creatures. The only thing I'm upset about is the irony in the situation described ITT, hopefully there aren't still people who haven't grasped such a simple point at this stage.

Triceratops Ballet

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I'm perfectly happy with people having preferences, everybody does as we're humans and we're visual creatures. The only thing I'm upset about is the irony in the situation described ITT, hopefully there aren't still people who haven't grasped such a simple point at this stage.

Is there irony, or are you imagining there is, from my experience of online dating, I've seen that kind of thing (maybe not a specific weight of 115lbs, but no heifers etc) I don't think anything either way about those profiles, why would I respond to someone just to call them shallow etc. Its not shallow to have a preference and state it...its a time saver!

There is a certain amount of shallowness to online dating anyway because all you're judging people on is their photo and a little blurb they write themselves.

Btw I'm 5'9 and I don't respond to men shorter to me, or men without photos, and I weigh more than 115lbs, cos I'm tall and I lift and I'm not sorry or insecure about it!