The Fathers Thread

slinky2000 · 30-09-2014 2:08pm

ah I remember that day too, it's pretty amazing isn't it!. Remember it well, the hard times are a coming!

LegacyUser · 03-10-2014 3:09pm

Going anon. Hi dads! My missus is 10 weeks tomorrow and while I'm not freaked out, I just don't have a clue what's happening. I take it from friends that this is normal but I have no close friends I've told yet and none of them have kids yet anyway. I'm just gone 30 and herself is just gone 32.

Frightened and delighted all at once!

SeaFields · 03-10-2014 8:18pm

Baby seafields is settling in well. The sleeplessness kinda becomes second nature. I'm sitting at a PC all day at work so no better place for the eyes to start closing. You kinda get used to it very quickly. The constant visitors is probably the most tiring thing of all. Just when you get a chance to put the feet up there will be a knock at the door. I've made up my mind never to call to the parents of a newborn again ! Give them a month or more to get used to things.

Enjoy the build up to the main event gentlemen. I still periodically find myself smiling as I remember the first time baby seafields cried after being born. Somethings will stay we ya forever

Mousewar · 07-10-2014 12:13pm

Hi,
I wonder if I could ask a quick question. MY wife is 33 weeks now (I think, something like that). It's our first.

We're in Holles St. Where do you park? I don't want to be running out to the meter all the time and potentially miss the birth. I tried to sign up for that parking tag thing but it's a facking scam. Cancellation fees and extortionate top-up requirements. Is there a decent car park near by I can just dump the car?

goose06 · 07-10-2014 12:18pm

Mousewar wrote: »

Hi,
I wonder if I could ask a quick question. MY wife is 33 weeks now (I think, something like that). It's our first.

We're in Holles St. Where do you park? I don't want to be running out to the meter all the time and potentially miss the birth. I tried to sign up for that parking tag thing but it's a facking scam. Cancellation fees and extortionate top-up requirements. Is there a decent car park near by I can just dump the car?

Get clamped once and those fees won't seem extortionate and you can always get rid of it after the child is born.

indigo twist · 07-10-2014 12:24pm

Any chance you could get a taxi? It'll get you there faster if you're in a rush (they can use bus lanes), and you won't have to worry about the hassle of parking.

youcancallmeal · 07-10-2014 12:30pm

Mousewar wrote: »

Hi,
I wonder if I could ask a quick question. MY wife is 33 weeks now (I think, something like that). It's our first.

We're in Holles St. Where do you park? I don't want to be running out to the meter all the time and potentially miss the birth. I tried to sign up for that parking tag thing but it's a facking scam. Cancellation fees and extortionate top-up requirements. Is there a decent car park near by I can just dump the car?

Parking on the street in the vicinity really is your only option. It is pay and display from 7am-7pm Mon-Sat in most places near Holles St. At €2.90 per hour you are looking at €35 a day max. Best to just have a load of coins ready I reckon? I got lucky in that my wife went into labour on a Sunday evening before a bank holiday Monday so could park right outside the hospital for free for 2 days I was there!

Mousewar · 07-10-2014 1:07pm

goose06 wrote: »

Get clamped once and those fees won't seem extortionate and you can always get rid of it after the child is born.

True but the feckers will charge me to get rid of it, as well as the myriad of other charges they have in the fine print. They really had a chance to make a nice simple, easy to understand system, and they messed it up big time. Anyway, I guess I'll have to do it, can't risk running out to feed the meter when the baby's on his way.

slinky2000 · 07-10-2014 2:24pm

I'll jusmp in on this too.

lads, when the wife is in labour what's the protocol at the Coombe? Do I have to park the car and walk her all the way to the font door or just blaze through security like a bat out of heel and straight to the door.

Kinet1c · 07-10-2014 4:24pm

Park the car, bring her to admission, then to the assessment room, then to a ward and then finally to the labour room. All that took 16 hours for us, with her being in early labour for 8 hours prior. Its not going to just fall out of her

indigo twist · 07-10-2014 4:47pm

Kinet1c wrote: »

Park the car, bring her to admission, then to the assessment room, then to a ward and then finally to the labour room. All that took 16 hours for us, with her being in early labour for 8 hours prior. Its not going to just fall out of her

Would agree with this. Unless something goes wrong, chances are that even once you arrive at the hospital, it'll be hours (even days) before baby arrives. It's a long time to be worrying about a parking meter! Which is why I'd recommend a taxi, and forget about the worry of parking.

I got a taxi in after my waters broke and my contractions were close together. My boyfriend got a train in a few hours later, when he'd finished work. I didn't see any need for him to leave work early just to sit around. He even went home again for a couple of hours after that, but arrived back in time for the birth. My baby was born within a few hours of arrival at the hospital, but for a first birth, this would be considered quite a short time.

Mousewar · 07-10-2014 4:51pm

indigo twist wrote: »

Would agree with this. Unless something goes wrong, chances are that even once you arrive at the hospital, it'll be hours (even days) before baby arrives. It's a long time to be worrying about a parking meter! Which is why I'd recommend a taxi, and forget about the worry of parking.

I got a taxi in after my waters broke and my contractions were close together. My boyfriend got a train in a few hours later, when he'd finished work. I didn't see any need for him to leave work early just to sit around. He even went home again for a couple of hours after that, but arrived back in time for the birth. My baby was born within a few hours of arrival at the hospital, but for a first birth, this would be considered quite a short time.

How did you get the baby home?

indigo twist · 07-10-2014 5:02pm

Mousewar wrote: »

How did you get the baby home?

We got a lift from relatives - as it happens, my boyfriend doesn't drive, so we were planning on either getting public transport or a lift all along. Even though we live well out of town.

But as it happened, we ended up being in hospital for four days anyways (would have been even longer if I'd gotten a C section) so it would never have been a case that we'd have been going into hospital and going home all together in one trip, without the father going in in between, if you know what I mean! Chances are that even after the birth, your partner will be in for at least one night, so you'd be going home for at least one night anyways. So you can get the car for when you're collecting the two of them.

It depends on whether you're on the midwives scheme? If so, if everything is straightforward, you might be allowed home shortly after the birth. If you're under regular public/private/semi-private care, she won't be discharged until at the very least 24 hours after the birth, and you won't be there for all of those 24 hours.

Mousewar · 07-10-2014 5:07pm

We're on the mid-wives thing and I'll need the car to get them home. Will have to just bite the bullet with this parking tag scam.

dori_dormer · 07-10-2014 5:07pm

In the coombe, If there's an emergency with the birth, security let you dump your car and keys with them and they'll park it somewhere for you if there's like a queue of 10 cars waiting etc.

Hubby let me out in front of security, and then found me 10 min later after he'd parked. I did not want to walk through the car park during a storm lol!

?Cee?view · 07-10-2014 5:10pm

Each case is different though.

Our first was born in Holles Street, 42 minutes after we got there.

I dumped the car at the front door, got her up to the labour room, ran down, parked and the child was born 20 minutes later.

Some women choose to do most of the labour at home and some at hospital

indigo twist · 07-10-2014 5:14pm

Mousewar wrote: »

We're on the mid-wives thing and I'll need the car to get them home. Will have to just bite the bullet with this parking tag scam.

If I were in your position, I'd decide when the time comes ... if you're heading in overnight/early morning/weekend, then drive in, but if the time comes and it's rush hour traffic time, I'd get a taxi, and I would put aside the following:
- enough cash to cover taxi fare plus possible soilage fee
- 1-2 black plastic bags with the seams cut open (so you can spread out on the back seat if necessary)
- 2-3 old throw-out-able bath towels
- at least one packet of maternity pads (she will go through several, after the birth, so no harm stocking up!)
Just have all of these things in a "just in case" bag by the front door.

I stuffed in maybe 3-4 maternity pads for the 45 minute journey (this is with waters broken) and this was way more than sufficient; the plastic bags and both towels were unnecessary, but I think it was best to have them there just in case, to avoid a potential soilage fee!

Even on the midwives scheme, you might end up being in there for a lot longer than you expect!

The One Doctor · 13-10-2014 5:59pm

9 weeks to go here. All going well so far. Hopefully the labour goes this smoothly as well!

slinky2000 · 13-10-2014 7:52pm

baby Slinky has 3 weeks left, we find out on Thursday if we#re going to schedule a section or not as they're still in the breach position. Other that that everyone's doing well. Mum is snacking on an ice cream mars right about now giving off about Corrie.

Kinet1c · 16-10-2014 4:25am

Just over 3 weeks in to parenthood. Even with our little fella being happy & healthy, it can be tough going at times. I don't think there's anything that can prepare you for the impending lifestyle change. We're slowly but surely, all getting used to each other.

Night feeds (bottle) are tough going. We did them together initially to see how it affected us and have now moved to taking turns when I can.
You're both going to be tired. You'll be on edge. You will snap at each other. Discuss this prior to it happening, neither of you mean it and whatever is said is not to be brought up again. When everyone's sleep pattern settles down you'll be fine.
If the baby cries - they'll most likely need changing/winding/feeding.
If you do the above and they're still crying, check for the first 2 again. You'd be surprised how quickly they'll fill a nappy again or have a small bit of wind left in the system despite rubbing their back for ages.
With me being back in work and also studying, she is taking the brunt of the sleepless nights. I do however take him off for 3-4 hours to provide her with uninterupted rest or simply to have some time to herself. If you opt to watch the child at home, you'll be likely to go back to her if the kid gets out of hand whereas if you're out you have to deal with it. Those few hours away provide a huge break to her.
If you're lucky enough to have grandparents or siblings who wish to babysit, jump at the offer. We had a few hours to ourselves last Friday and despite both being struck down with colds, we just had some time to watch tv together, be adults and not parents. It was a short enough time but we enjoyed it while also enjoying picking him up again.
Recognise the good/bad days that you have together and try figure out why they turned out like they did.
We've found changing him prior to a feed allows him to settle/sleep easier. Rather then feeding, him get sleepy/tired and then we disturb him by stipping the poor lad and moving him all over the place.
There will be tears ... from everyone. Sometimes they're just needed.

It's fun and scary at the same time. Thoroughly enjoying it though and there are small changes in him even in the first few weeks.

sallymomo · 17-10-2014 9:30am

Kinet1c wrote: »

Just over 3 weeks in to parenthood. Even with our little fella being happy & healthy, it can be tough going at times. I don't think there's anything that can prepare you for the impending lifestyle change. We're slowly but surely, all getting used to each other.
Night feeds (bottle) are tough going. We did them together initially to see how it affected us and have now moved to taking turns when I can.

You're both going to be tired. You'll be on edge. You will snap at each other. Discuss this prior to it happening, neither of you mean it and whatever is said is not to be brought up again. When everyone's sleep pattern settles down you'll be fine.

If the baby cries - they'll most likely need changing/winding/feeding.

If you do the above and they're still crying, check for the first 2 again. You'd be surprised how quickly they'll fill a nappy again or have a small bit of wind left in the system despite rubbing their back for ages.

With me being back in work and also studying, she is taking the brunt of the sleepless nights. I do however take him off for 3-4 hours to provide her with uninterupted rest or simply to have some time to herself. If you opt to watch the child at home, you'll be likely to go back to her if the kid gets out of hand whereas if you're out you have to deal with it. Those few hours away provide a huge break to her.

If you're lucky enough to have grandparents or siblings who wish to babysit, jump at the offer. We had a few hours to ourselves last Friday and despite both being struck down with colds, we just had some time to watch tv together, be adults and not parents. It was a short enough time but we enjoyed it while also enjoying picking him up again.

Recognise the good/bad days that you have together and try figure out why they turned out like they did.

We've found changing him prior to a feed allows him to settle/sleep easier. Rather then feeding, him get sleepy/tired and then we disturb him by stipping the poor lad and moving him all over the place.

There will be tears ... from everyone. Sometimes they're just needed.

It's fun and scary at the same time. Thoroughly enjoying it though and there are small changes in him even in the first few weeks.

My wife is due in January and that is the best bit of advice I have read on all the threads - thank you Kinet1c!!

Pawwed Rig · 17-10-2014 11:08am

Poor little fellah is teething at the moment. He was so upset last night.

Mousewar · 17-10-2014 1:12pm

Those antenatal classes are something else. I was sat there thinking 'Thank fook, it's her and not me'.

KERSPLAT! · 17-10-2014 2:15pm

What kinda things should I be bringing to the hospital? Obviously there's the maternity bag with all the bits and pieces but is there anything I should be bringing seperatly?

firestarter51 · 17-10-2014 2:21pm

We brought a labour ward bag
And then a bag for the maternity ward
And a change of clothes for yourself and a can of Lynx or something, it can go on for a while
And coins for vending machine, and a tablet or book, lots of waiting involved normally lol

youcancallmeal · 17-10-2014 3:09pm

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

What kinda things should I be bringing to the hospital? Obviously there's the maternity bag with all the bits and pieces but is there anything I should be bringing seperatly?

Food for yourself! Sleep deprivation is a lot easier to deal with if you're not starving as well

slinky2000 · 17-10-2014 3:37pm

Mousewar wrote: »

Those antenatal classes are something else. I was sat there thinking 'Thank fook, it's her and not me'.

at least I'm not alone!

SeaFields · 17-10-2014 6:45pm

Don't forget a phone charger! You'll spend an eternity on the internet passing the time.

I went out to the car aswell for a snooze for an hour and met a buddy for lunch who worked in the hospital. It is a long day.

The whole pushing thing is very fast relative the the total amount of time she'll be in labour (speaking from my very limited experience!)

DUBACC · 20-10-2014 4:28am

Just found out wife is expecting number two - after losing two last year we are both petrified at the journey ahead. Hope it lasts longer than last year's pregnancies!! We have a lovely three year old who is dying to boss around a little brother or sister - hopefully third time lucky!

uck51js9zml2yt · 20-10-2014 6:33am

DUBACC wrote: »

Just found out wife is expecting number two - after losing two last year we are both petrified at the journey ahead. Hope it lasts longer than last year's pregnancies!! We have a lovely three year old who is dying to boss around a little brother or sister - hopefully third time lucky!

Congrats. Hope it works out for you this time. My wife miscarried a few years ago and though it's little consolidation. Her gp put it in perspective when he told us 1in 4 miscarry.
We had a threatened m/c last year but my wife went to a Polish clinic and was given a hormone to stabilise her which did the job. The attitude of the rotunda was if it happens it happens. The Polish gynie was more proactive.

slinky2000 · 22-10-2014 8:53am

DUBACC wrote: »

Just found out wife is expecting number two - after losing two last year we are both petrified at the journey ahead. Hope it lasts longer than last year's pregnancies!! We have a lovely three year old who is dying to boss around a little brother or sister - hopefully third time lucky!

Hope all goes well! Fingers crossed for you!

The One Doctor · 22-10-2014 10:34am

Mousewar wrote: »

Those antenatal classes are something else. I was sat there thinking 'Thank fook, it's her and not me'.

Just went to the antenatal class yesterday for the first time. Very interesting stuff, mostly useful too.

ixus · 26-10-2014 9:40am

indigo twist wrote: »

If I were in your position, I'd decide when the time comes ... if you're heading in overnight/early morning/weekend, then drive in, but if the time comes and it's rush hour traffic time, I'd get a taxi, and I would put aside the following:
- enough cash to cover taxi fare plus possible soilage fee
- 1-2 black plastic bags with the seams cut open (so you can spread out on the back seat if necessary)
- 2-3 old throw-out-able bath towels
- at least one packet of maternity pads (she will go through several, after the birth, so no harm stocking up!)
Just have all of these things in a "just in case" bag by the front door.

I stuffed in maybe 3-4 maternity pads for the 45 minute journey (this is with waters broken) and this was way more than sufficient; the plastic bags and both towels were unnecessary, but I think it was best to have them there just in case, to avoid a potential soilage fee!

Even on the midwives scheme, you might end up being in there for a lot longer than you expect!

Or you could just drive down the bus lanes running the risk of getting caught and explain to Garda who is not going to issue you with an offence.

ixus · 26-10-2014 9:44am

indigo twist wrote: »

If I were in your position, I'd decide when the time comes ... if you're heading in overnight/early morning/weekend, then drive in, but if the time comes and it's rush hour traffic time, I'd get a taxi, and I would put aside the following:
- enough cash to cover taxi fare plus possible soilage fee
- 1-2 black plastic bags with the seams cut open (so you can spread out on the back seat if necessary)
- 2-3 old throw-out-able bath towels
- at least one packet of maternity pads (she will go through several, after the birth, so no harm stocking up!)
Just have all of these things in a "just in case" bag by the front door.

I stuffed in maybe 3-4 maternity pads for the 45 minute journey (this is with waters broken) and this was way more than sufficient; the plastic bags and both towels were unnecessary, but I think it was best to have them there just in case, to avoid a potential soilage fee!

Even on the midwives scheme, you might end up being in there for a lot longer than you expect!

Or you could just drive down the bus lanes running the risk of getting caught and explain to Garda who is not going to issue you with an offence.

CathyMoran · 26-10-2014 9:54am

ixus wrote: »

Or you could just drive down the bus lanes running the risk of getting caught and explain to Garda who is not going to issue you with an offence.

My cousin flagged down a garda for his wife when they were running very short on time - they got a garda escourt to the hospital and will have that story to tell to their beautiful daughter when she gets older.

Mousewar · 26-10-2014 12:27pm

Yeah my brother was driving his wife to the hospital and they ran a red light. A garda car stopped them but when he explained the garda gave them an escort to the hospital.

The Gardai - a great bunch of lads.

nikpmup · 26-10-2014 1:02pm

When I was pregnant, I was walking towards Holles St from Merrion Sq for an appointment when an unmarked car came barrelling around the corner blaring the blues and twos and nearly took me and my OH out! It stopped outside Holles St front door and out popped a very stressed looking Dad-to-be and a very pregnant, very labouring mammy-to-be. I have to admit I was a teensy bit Jel, would have loved to have been brought in by squad car!

slinky2000 · 28-10-2014 12:10am

Our baby girl was born on Friday morning at 11.55am via a c-section after only 2 hours of labour. Baby was in distress so they decided to get it out quick smart. Everyone's healthy and doing well, should be home tomorrow!

I can't recommend the staff at the coombe enough, everybody was fantastic, would not have second thoughts about going there again.

Marty McFly · 29-10-2014 10:39am

I will say I had no complaints with the Coombe found them excellent and our baby arrived fit and healthy, they've also been excelllent with my sister whose baby is in ICU after being born 2 pounds 14oz.

But also have an old friend who lost a baby 3 days before due date after being sent home numerous times that week after going in saying something didn't feel right.

I would say if something doesn't feel right for herself don't take no for an answer.

nikpmup · 29-10-2014 8:42pm

The thing with all of the maternity hospitals is; you're always going to hear really positive and really negative stories. I had my boy in Holles St; emergency section followed by him collaspsing and having to go to ICU overnight and I am in no doubt that the staff there saved his life twice. Pretty much all my care was good with a couple of small exceptions on the post natal ward; and they were down to understaffing and overcrowding and could have happened anywhere. Prenatal appointments were a bit of a cattle mart, but again, when I presented with a severe illness I was seen to immediately and treated very well, same as when I presented with reduced movement, I was reassured and seen to straight away. My sister had two babies there and wouldn't hesitate to go there again. However, my friend had her first there and wouldn't darken the door of the place, reckons it's a pit. I've heard horror stories and glowing reviews of the Coombe and the Rotunda as well.

Vicxas · 29-10-2014 11:57pm

We had a baby boy on Tuesday morning after only 3 hours labour. My OH plowed through the labour and he arrived.

Its such a massive shock at first but its so worth it to see him open his eyes and make little noises now and then. Nothing prepares you for it.

The midwives in Drogheda were fantastic and couldn't recommend them enough.

uck51js9zml2yt · 30-10-2014 12:12am

I'll never forget waiting to hear both mine cry when they were born. It was the longest 5 seconds of my life.
The first I had time to enjoy for a few hours. The second, as soon as I phoned home and said all was OK. I was told to come home and look after my 3 year old who hadn't seen me in 18 hours and whose biggest concern was that Mammy was never coming home.
She was in 3 days at that stage.

Jasper79 · 18-11-2014 3:37pm

OH did a 2 tests the weekend and she's positive after 4 months trying so we chuffed.

She booked first doctors appt tonight, are we allowed in on this one or is this normally the women only ?

Fidge13 · 18-11-2014 3:39pm

I've never been refused entry into the doc's room on an appointment. Make sure you're there!

spottybananas · 18-11-2014 4:44pm

Jasper79 wrote: »

OH did a 2 tests the weekend and she's positive after 4 months trying so we chuffed.

She booked first doctors appt tonight, are we allowed in on this one or is this normally the women only ?

There's no need to be there, the doctor will just do a urine test to confirm it, check weight, height, etc. I didn't bring my husband, I wouldn't bring him to a standard doctors appointment outside of pregnancy confirmation so I didn't see any reason to bring him to sit there for such a routine few minutes.

Mousewar · 18-11-2014 4:57pm

spottybananas wrote: »

There's no need to be there, the doctor will just do a urine test to confirm it, check weight, height, etc. I didn't bring my husband, I wouldn't bring him to a standard doctors appointment outside of pregnancy confirmation so I didn't see any reason to bring him to sit there for such a routine few minutes.

It can be nice to be there for the official confirmation and often the doctor is the first person to congratulate you. I think I only missed two of my wife's appointments during her pregnancy although sometimes I just sat outside while she went in.

spottybananas · 18-11-2014 5:03pm

I just don't see the need for someone to be there for routine gp appointments, especially if they have to miss work for it, but each to their own. The first congratulations and official confirmation thing didn't bother me either, once you've a positive test at home that's about as official as it gets, so many people still believe the doctors test is better and more accurate and get badly caught when they are told it's negative.

eviltwin · 18-11-2014 5:06pm

I don't think my husband went to any of my doctors visits and I had two high risk pregnancies. All that happened was a blood pressure check and a chat, a review of notes and sometimes a listen to the baby. Its boring enough when you are the patient. Unless your partner is very anxious or you have concerns of some kind there is no need for it but if it makes you feel happier or more involved then go for it. There will probably be at least one visit where you won't be allowed in - this is to go through the woman's previous pregnancy history and sometimes to talk about issues of domestic violence.

goose06 · 18-11-2014 5:09pm

Jasper79 wrote: »

OH did a 2 tests the weekend and she's positive after 4 months trying so we chuffed.

She booked first doctors appt tonight, are we allowed in on this one or is this normally the women only ?

I went and I was delighted I did. Not much happened but I felt it's important to be involved as much as I can and we've little enough to do at the best of times apart from cleaning up around the house & feeding our OH.

Jasper79 · 18-11-2014 5:09pm

Thanks for the replies.

Going to the scans ( all going well) will be a given.

The routine checks for blood pressure etc yeah I agree no need for me to be there really unless OH wants it.

I just think maybe the first appt, if finding out plan going forward and that might be worth going. Rather be a spare tool there than not being there I think .

Herself fine either way ..

The Fathers Thread

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