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The Fathers Thread

  • 21-12-2008 11:48pm
    #1
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 10,259 ✭✭✭✭Melion


    Am i the only male that looks in here?


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,581 ✭✭✭dodgyme


    Melion wrote: »
    Am i the only male that looks in here?

    nope


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,277 ✭✭✭arctictree


    I look here too because my wife refuses to look at boards. Apparently it gives me 'bad ideas' !


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,890 ✭✭✭embee


    Hello dads!

    Good idea to have the male perspective - there are a lot of mammies on here!

    Why don't ye introduce yourselves, how many kids, ages etc. Expectant dads are more than welcome too! Its always nice to talk to other parents who are at similar stages to you, so if you're a new Dad, or parenting toddlers, primary school age kids, teens or even want to moan about your adult children who won't leave the nest, feel free to contribute!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    and it is good for Dads to share with each other thier experiences cos really only they know what it is like having an expectant partner and what it is like to be a daddy to be.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,862 ✭✭✭RobAMerc


    hey guys, names Rob as you might have guessed - other half is 12 weeks gone with our first.
    I am delighted obviously but totally petrified - like seriously scared !

    nice to meet you guys.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,866 ✭✭✭✭January


    Welcome Rob! Congratulations on the pregnancy! My OH was terrified too but he's brilliant with our daughter :D It's great to see the two of them bonding!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 10,259 ✭✭✭✭Melion


    RobAMerc wrote: »
    hey guys, names Rob as you might have guessed - other half is 12 weeks gone with our first.
    I am delighted obviously but totally petrified - like seriously scared !

    nice to meet you guys.

    Replace Rob with Mel and 12 with 11 and its the same from me.

    Not too scared though, just dont think its set in yet.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,799 ✭✭✭gerrycollins


    nope another man here, well a boy for a few days more.

    I have two absolute darling children, a girl 2 and a half, boy 7 months and another in the oven for the last 12 weeks.

    Rob, if I can do it so can anyone I was terrified when our first was born but so long as there is a team ie you and your OH then your laughing. the subs bench of mother and father, in laws and out laws, come in very handy as do helpful sisters and brothers but tell them to back off for the first few weeks, get your selves in order first.

    take photos, dont do the stupid first hair cut, nail cut etc like the books ask you to do just enjoy any time you have bonding with your little beauty, talk to them(so you fell stupid so what) watch for their smile it will melt your heart no matter how bad your day was.

    Leave the work at work there is plenty to do when you get home. dont forget the nappies and stock up on pure essentials. anything retailers say is good for you baby developments and cost money is not needed today(tell your OH) all you need is your selves the rest will follow. try and arrange with family not to be given clothes or toys, we have bags and bags of unused clothes because they grow up so fast and there is never enough time to wear everything especially for a first child. try opening an account for them.

    one final tip experiment with making bottles way before the birth, i didnt until we brought our girl home and that was a fast experience let me tell you.

    also on the first day home get a close friend or family member(just one not the cast of annie) who has kids or experience,somebody who will answer your questions but not tell you how to do it.

    lastly enjoy ever precuious moment you can because they grow up so quickly


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 473 ✭✭newmills


    Another man/lad/boy/child here!!

    Two girls - one is 3, the other is 1 and one is 12weeks in the oven.
    The 1st is difficult make no mistake. Sleepless nights really are bad - seriously bad. If you can get a routine going you will be on your feet in no time. The 2nd little one was much easier - we did the opposite of the 1st and it worked!! Life will change but it'll be for the better.
    Keep everyone informed of how things are going. I'm currently living with the missus who has a serious bout of the flu and terrible morning sickness. She's on tablets from her doc for the morning sickness and can take nothing for the flu. She's spent most of christmas in bed - actually the last 2 months!! You manage!!:D


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,133 ✭✭✭flanzer


    I was in here until last October, now I've moved on to the Parenting Forum :)

    Always found this forum very useful for the 9/10 months up to October 6th, a great place for the male half to share their experiences


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,581 ✭✭✭dodgyme


    years ago the father would stay outside and be told the baby was born etc. At a guess I say this happening 90% of the cases. Nowadays the bloke is in there 90% of the time when the baby is born. I am not good with 'that kinda thing' if ya know what I mean (please ..without everyone attacking me for saying it). I will be in there I'd say but not cutting the chord and that kinda thing. Just wondering what other blokes reckon?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,866 ✭✭✭✭January


    My boyfriend was there right up untill I was brought for my c section, unfortunately I was under general anesthetic so they wouldn't let him in for that part. He was brilliant, has a phobia of needles yet watched me getting my epidural and held my hand and everything.

    He didn't get to cut the cord but I think he was going to had I given birth naturally!

    Just be supportive, hold her hand, talk to her... we had a great laugh because I was out of it on gas and air... if she goes for it be prepared to laugh at her, it's a terrible thing to say, but the amount of crap you spout when you take it is unbelievable...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 954 ✭✭✭marti101


    dodgyme wrote: »
    years ago the father would stay outside and be told the baby was born etc. At a guess I say this happening 90% of the cases. Nowadays the bloke is in there 90% of the time when the baby is born. I am not good with 'that kinda thing' if ya know what I mean (please ..without everyone attacking me for saying it). I will be in there I'd say but not cutting the chord and that kinda thing. Just wondering what other blokes reckon?
    Ah i wouldnt worry my bf was the same.I had to send him out of the room he looked a bit green.Its really between yourselves if hes there or not nobody elses decision.Good Luck and keep popping back.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 33 wcullen


    First Time dad (26) of a 7 Month Girl...

    Its honestly not as bad as you think its going to be...

    The smile at 3 in the morning from her would melt the coldest hearts!

    Was there a national power cut 12 weeks ago???


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,346 ✭✭✭Rev Hellfire


    Another Dad here, two kids, Boy aged seven and a girl aged 5 with cp.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,278 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    Melion wrote: »
    Am i the only male that looks in here?

    Certainly not......

    My wife is newly pregnant and is really stressing out about all sorts of things pregnancy related, but also finances etc.
    I hope to find out how other people address all aspects of pregnancy and bringing up a child, its going to be a steep learning curve for both of us!

    Shane


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,484 ✭✭✭Quackles


    dodgyme wrote: »
    years ago the father would stay outside and be told the baby was born etc. At a guess I say this happening 90% of the cases. Nowadays the bloke is in there 90% of the time when the baby is born. I am not good with 'that kinda thing' if ya know what I mean (please ..without everyone attacking me for saying it). I will be in there I'd say but not cutting the chord and that kinda thing. Just wondering what other blokes reckon?

    My hubby is the same. He'll come in with me, but he doesn't so much as glance down the 'business' end. I suggested cutting the cord, he wonders why he should when the professionals are paid to do that sort of thing :rolleyes: I think it's perfectly normal, to be honest, I wouldn't want to cut it either ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,581 ✭✭✭dodgyme


    Quackles wrote: »
    why he should when the professionals are paid to do that sort of thing :rolleyes: ;)

    someone said something similar to me "I am paying private for them to cut the chord" followed by some bad analogy like "when I go to the hairdresser, he doesnt ask me to cut my own hair" - sure its no wonder I am the way I am.:rolleyes:

    PS: I want to stay north of the border also.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,828 ✭✭✭gosplan


    I'm terrified but not of being a father - just that something will go wrong.

    All the post birth stuff I couldn't care less about, just that it all goes OK for both my wife and future child. Is there any way to get over this or come to terms with it?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭HJ Simpson


    My wife is 12weeks pregnant with our first. We are both over the moon. We are going to wait another week or two before telling everyone. The families know but friends and work dont know yet!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 255 ✭✭KBarry


    My wife is 34 weeks pregnant with our first, so not long to go now. Both of us were quite worried it would be a difficult pregnancy (we are late 30s) but so far so good, apart from the 'morning' sickness for the first couple of months. Beats me why they call it morning sickness anyway. It was 24 hrs for my mrs.
    I'd rather not be at the business end when it happens tbh. I will sit beside her though, saying not very helpful things like "Go on girl, get it out", whilst trying not to pass out.
    Can't wait to get stuck into the dirty nappies though.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 10,259 ✭✭✭✭Melion


    We're booked in for our first appointment next Monday. Basically, im confused as to what im going to be doing. Will i be allowed into all the rooms etc with her? We were in the hospital a few weeks ago and we were put in seperate waiting rooms for 6 hours, it was a joke.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,866 ✭✭✭✭January


    Depends on what hospital!

    I know when the Rotunda had it's old emergency room that partners were not allowed in, but now they have the new one my partner was allowed in when I was in labour!

    For the first visit my partner was allowed in to all the rooms he choose not to come in when I was getting my blood tests as he has a phobia of needles, but done very well when I was in labour and was getting the epidural, he just stood in front of me holding my hand!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,484 ✭✭✭Quackles


    Depends on what hospital!

    I know when the Rotunda had it's old emergency room that partners were not allowed in, but now they have the new one my partner was allowed in when I was in labour!

    For the first visit my partner was allowed in to all the rooms he choose not to come in when I was getting my blood tests as he has a phobia of needles, but done very well when I was in labour and was getting the epidural, he just stood in front of me holding my hand!

    It's funny how different hospitals differ - my husband was sent out of the room while I was having my epidural last time.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    smccarrick wrote: »
    Certainly not......

    My wife is newly pregnant and is really stressing out about all sorts of things pregnancy related, but also finances etc.
    I hope to find out how other people address all aspects of pregnancy and bringing up a child, its going to be a steep learning curve for both of us!

    Shane

    Didn't realise you guys were expecting a baby already!

    I'm so pleased for you both. It must be such a blessing after everything you've been through.

    Congratulations and best of luck to you both.

    /me gets broody! :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,003 ✭✭✭iggy


    Mrs iggy pregnant with our first.

    She is 24 weeks gone and we went for scan yesterday..
    Found out im gonna have a son.... im over the moon

    :):):):)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭HJ Simpson


    As posted above my better half is about 13 weeks gone. Her first appointment for the Coombe is in February just wondering do dads normally go to these? Its not a scan its just checking in and getting tests done. Any advice appreciated!


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 7,458 Mod ✭✭✭✭CathyMoran


    My husband was at my first appointment but I know that he can not go to all of them (am diabetic with other risk factors and so far they are every 2 weeks) - it is a great comfort to have your partner there at least for the first one. I would certainly advise you to be there for the scans (if possible) as it makes baby seem more real for both of you and you can see it grow - there is nothing better than seeing your babies heartbeat for the first time.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,799 ✭✭✭gerrycollins


    HJ Simpson wrote: »
    As posted above my better half is about 13 weeks gone. Her first appointment for the Coombe is in February just wondering do dads normally go to these? Its not a scan its just checking in and getting tests done. Any advice appreciated!

    i didnt go with my wife to her first as they are just blood test and form filling went to every other one in the coombe becasue she was diabetice had to go every two weeks.

    as for diabetic a bit off topic please read up on it yourself with your GP because looking back now the Coombe were less than informative on the situation


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,668 ✭✭✭nlgbbbblth


    Another Dad here, two children. Boy is two years nine months and his sister is one year three months.

    Went to one of the scans and the ante-natal classes.

    I was present for both births but averted my eyes a lot of the time. It's very hard to see your wife screaming with pain and not being able to do anything about it.


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