The Fathers Thread

jasonb

Great first post!

All I can say is everything you have said sounds familiar to me! My wife is 37 now and will be 38 in or around when the baby's due. The consultant had a quick chat with us about that but basically said not to worry about it.

My wife also has escaped morning sickness (thankfully!) but was really really tired, especially for the first trimester. She's a lot better now, still more tired than she used to be, but not half as bad as before. Like yourself, I'm doing the work around the house, and I'm happy to be able to help in some way.

She's definitely waiting to feel the baby move so that it will feel more real to her. She has been a little hesitant about 'believing' it's all ok, especially as we lost a twin, but she's beginning to feel those 'butterflies' now so that's good, and soon that'll turn into proper movements. She's just over 19 weeks now. She has a definite bump so that also helps her 'confirm' it's all real. And yep, I talk to the bump too, I think it's a bit of fun and I've also heard that it'll help the baby recognise your voices when it comes out.

It's funny, talking about getting things done around the house, we're looking at that too, and when a friend visited with her baby last week we realised that our porch door is too bloody small for a buggy to go through it! With everything else we'd listed to do, the porch door wasn't on it, but now it's top of the list!

Finally, scary and exciting is exactly what this is. To quote a Loudon Wainwright song (from the movie 'Knocked Up'):

'It's all so momentous, yet perfectly normal.
Scary, but not to be feared.'

J.

zefer

I echo jason's comment, great post.

I think everyone at one stage or another starts thinking what if and worrying that something may go wrong.
We got one of the baby heart monitor things a the start (before started feeling baby movements) so that we could hear the heartbeat and that gave us a lot of reassurance.

To be honest, i worry non stop (at this stage, 38 weeks its about the birth and hoping that everything will go ok) but I keep that to myself as I dont want to worry my wife. All you can do is be supportive and be there for her.

Also, I talk to the baby all the time and now the baby kicks everytime I do it and when I rub my hand over my wife's stomach, it still amazes me everytime it happens

badgerhowlin

A year and a half later i can still remember all the feels of been so excited but also been so worried about the little bump, but like zefer said DONT tell your wife. She is going through enough worrying as it is, and she doesnt need the father telling her all his worries.

A word of advice, if your wife is like mine she will be a roller coster and she will take it out on you. She doesnt mean it, but you will still have to stand and take it, or as i said to her one day(hold on till i sit down for this)NOT A GOOD IDEA

zefer

badgerhowlin wrote: »

or as i said to her one day(hold on till i sit down for this)NOT A GOOD IDEA

Brilliant.

Synyster Shadow

Badgerhowlin- great advice and been that I'm the Pregnant one I'll agree that we are a nightmare to handle during this time but there's so many good time like the first kicks and so on that it shadows all else. I said I'd pop in here today to see what its like for the men. At the min I'm making sure Hubby is well cared for too so its not all bout me and I give him 5 hours a day to Play Xbox online with all the lads if he likes so he gets his me time and I still do all the cooking so he's fed and watered. Hope it all goes amazingly for the new daddy's to be

Congrats to all

zefer

I'm a daddy! Baby Tom was born yesterday weighing 8 pounds 6. I have a new found awe & respect at what all mothers go through!
Everyone is doing great.

Blueskye

zefer wrote: »

I'm a daddy! Baby Tom was born yesterday weighing 8 pounds 6. I have a new found awe at what you mothers all go through!

Congratulations

jasonb

Excellent, congratulations to all three of you!

J.

Johnny31

zefer wrote: »

I'm a daddy! Baby Tom was born yesterday weighing 8 pounds 6. I have a new found awe & respect at what all mothers go through!
Everyone is doing great.

Congrats.. Thats great news..

Johnny31

On the countdown myself now. Girlfriend is 25 weeks gone... only another 15 to go... the weeks have flown by !!!!

red face dave

I have been keeping a close but cautious eye in here lately but I can finally join ye lads as the wife is 14 weeks pregnant today. Had her second scan today and everything is prefect and bang on target for a middle of August baby

My wife has had all the emotions I just call her the 7 dwarfs now because she is hungry,tired, sick ..................................

We are over the moon considering we had such a ****e 2012.

jasonb

Nice one, congrats!

I've been meaning to post here for a while now. We had our Anatomy Scan a couple of weeks ago, and everything's going perfectly, which was great to hear. We also found out that we're having a girl, which was also great to hear, as we both wanted a girl! Just over 24 weeks gone now, less than 4 months to go...

J.

beertons

I should have been back in here ages ago. Number 2 due in 8 weeks. Number 1 is trying to walk now. Going public in the Coombe again. Due date is 18th April, so if anyone is about, meet you in the coffee shop for a chat.

lang

A quick question:

Myself and my wife went for our first scan (15 wks) the other day and all is well The Doc who did the scan was lovely and really laid back. He said that there was no need for us to return to the hospital unless we had any concerns. Is this normal or should we be going back for further scan?

We are hoping to have a Home-birth if al goes well over the next few weeks and have already linked in with the Home-birth Midwife. We had been advised by her to not tell the hospital on the first visit that we were hoping for Home-birth (as it may cause some unnecessary questionning on the day), but my wife's GP put that little piece of info in the Referal letter :rolleyes: I have to say the Medical Staff we spoke to in the hospital the other day were really great and made us feel very-much at ease. We'd have no problem in going back there if we needed to.

So, back to the original question, is there a 'normal' amount of scans? I thought we'd have another scan around 26-30 weeks...?

Thanks in advance.

jasonb

Hi Lang...

As far as I know it can vary, but I believe around 2 is fairly normal. You'd normally do one around 12 weeks or so, and that's considered a dating scan, to help confirm when the baby is due (and how many of them there are etc.). And then there's an anatomy scan (normally around weeks 20-22) which checks for development of all the limbs and organs etc (and the gender too if you want).

We're going to the Coombe and we got those two scans done. Apart from that, whenever we see our consultant (only once so far, though we're seeing him again in a month) he normally does a quick scan, really just to assure us that everything's ok.

I'm not sure if a home birth changes things, but I'd imagine those two scans I've mentioned would be fairly standard.

J.

lang

jasonb wrote: »

Hi Lang...

As far as I know it can vary, but I believe around 2 is fairly normal. You'd normally do one around 12 weeks or so, and that's considered a dating scan, to help confirm when the baby is due (and how many of them there are etc.). And then there's an anatomy scan (normally around weeks 20-22) which checks for development of all the limbs and organs etc (and the gender too if you want).

We're going to the Coombe and we got those two scans done. Apart from that, whenever we see our consultant (only once so far, though we're seeing him again in a month) he normally does a quick scan, really just to assure us that everything's ok.

I'm not sure if a home birth changes things, but I'd imagine those two scans I've mentioned would be fairly standard.

J.

Think I might check in with the midwife and see what the story is. We booked in for the antenatal classes in the hospital so its not like we wont know what it'll be like if we need to go in for the birth.

I was thinking that the anatomy scan would be kind of important to make sure all is well. We arent foing to find our the sex of the baby so wouldnt be for that purpose.

Thanks for your reply.

freudiangirl

lang wrote: »

Think I might check in with the midwife and see what the story is. We booked in for the antenatal classes in the hospital so its not like we wont know what it'll be like if we need to go in for the birth.

I was thinking that the anatomy scan would be kind of important to make sure all is well. We arent foing to find our the sex of the baby so wouldnt be for that purpose.

Thanks for your reply.

We only got 1 scan at 12 weeks in cumh , a dating one... We went private for anomally scan for peace of mind on baby #1 .

We went to babyscan clinic for private one.
We will do same this time.

Had our 12 week/dating scan yesterday, and all's good - it's been such a relief to be able to tell people finally......I'm not great at keeping things to myself at the best of times, never mind something as great as this.

jasonb

Ah that's brilliant, congrats! Is it your first? We've about 14 weeks to go now, in some ways it's flying and in others it's so slow!

J.

alansilly

any other 1st time fathers in the mayo area, we having 1st and 20week scan in 3weeks, can't wait.

jasonb

Congrats alansilly, hope the scan goes well!

We're now at 28 and a bit weeks, had a visit to The Coombe this morning and all's going great, she's developing well and no concerns so far.

Had the surreal experience of putting together the new pram last night. It's a real milestone in your life when you buy a pram! Just have to figure out where to put it for the next few months now, we don't have a lot of space! But it's good to have it bought and another thing off the list...

Also booked some time off work for around the due date, I've been saving my holidays since the new year and I won't be taking any at all until the due date, so hopefully I'll get a couple of weeks off...

J.

Synyster Shadow

Hey all. Nice to see all the dad's been excited. Hubby is now in full swing for baby to arrive in 4 weeks. Just wanted to ask what ye are all bringing to occupy yourselves for the hours and hours leading up to labour? Hubby gets bored fast so I'm lookin for ways to keep him happy so I can just get on with the pain :-) I know phone's aren't aloud so what is there?

Maybe some dad's that have already been to the labour ward can help?

jasonb

Haven't been to the labour ward yet, but I would have thought that even if phones aren't allowed, maybe phones in 'flight mode' are? So you can still play Solitaire or whatever, but you're not getting a signal.

J.

beertons

I was playing on my phone the last time, and skype chatting with a few people. Sure the consultants, anesthesiologists, etc all carry phones for emergencies. The missus was playing on her phone too. Just keep it on silent, it's the noise that makes people complain.

5 weeks for us to go. Had to go to a refresher antinatal course on Monday. Strange some of the things we forgot. Shared a few tips with the other parents. If the woman is going to breastfeed, i'd recommend getting your hands on a co sleeper. I got mine in Murphy's in rathcoole. Geuther was the brand, have a search for it there.

We're using the bugaboo as a cot for downstairs, gave it a good wash during the week.

Synyster Shadow

Thanks for the replys will make sure plenty of games are downloaded for the occasion. Also his favorite book is been released in couple weeks may be good backup!

jasonb

Yeah, we're thinking of using the 'Pram' part of the Travel System as a 'Travel Cot' as well, we can use that in the sitting room or on the road, and then the main cot at home. Saves buying a Moses basket...

J.

beertons

The only problem we saw with the moses basket, would be number 1 might knock it over with all his wobbling round the place. If we stick the handbrake on the bugaboo, at least he can't take her for a walk! Saying that though, it might work for someone else.

jasonb

Well, this is our first, so hopefully the only people knocking over stuff will be us! We may live to regret it, but we do reckon the Moses Basket and the Pram part of the Travel System are pretty much the same thing, so we can use the Pram part and not buy something else...

J.

alansilly

jasonb wrote: »

Well, this is our first, so hopefully the only people knocking over stuff will be us! We may live to regret it, but we do reckon the Moses Basket and the Pram part of the Travel System are pretty much the same thing, so we can use the Pram part and not buy something else...

J.

Dats what we are goin using aswell, jst as handy to lkeep the pram part downstairs. lesser of two evils lol

alansilly

jasonb wrote: »

Haven't been to the labour ward yet, but I would have thought that even if phones aren't allowed, maybe phones in 'flight mode' are? So you can still play Solitaire or whatever, but you're not getting a signal.

J.

could always buy a cheap tablet,and before ye go hospital could download loads of free games and ebooks, or just read the paper :-) lol