The Fathers Thread

Synyster Shadow

My little lad flew at feeding at the start then started to slow down and now he's flying along again. With him I think he gets lazy sucking the bottle but iv come to realise they go up and down the whole time. Once there gaining weight it's the main thing.

Happy fathers day all new dad's and dad's to be

raven136

Father to be for a 3rd time...due early January

we are in a bit of flux at the minute as my wife was taking a cholesterol medication for the first two weeks of this pregnancy(this pregnancy was a surprise )

We are going for the blood screening and scan etc to try set our minds at ease

Excited but nervous would sum me up

Also.....she is like a demon with the hormones

jasonb

Congrats Raven! And the excited and nervous never stops...

J.

johnty56

Hi all... new to posting on this thread.. My girlfriend had a little girl last night, a day early, just on time for fathers day:)

jasonb

Congrats Johnty! Perfect timing, like you say, I hope your girlfriend got you a card!

J.

Calhoun

Due our first on 4th of November , should be fun. Herself is still in the really tired stage hopefully that will change soon .

nikpmup

Calhoun wrote: »

Due our first on 4th of November , should be fun. Herself is still in the really tired stage hopefully that will change soon .

Congrats, Calhoun... The tired stage only lasts another 18-20 years, so don't worry, it'll be over before you know it

uck51js9zml2yt

nikpmup wrote: »

Congrats, Calhoun... The tired stage only lasts another 18-20 years, so don't worry, it'll be over before you know it

I'm beyond tired. one on the floor and another due in November:)

iusedtoknow

well, we just found out that we're expecting

February 2014, so early days yet...happier than a pig in ****e...looks like we'll be having and Irish/spanish kid with an american passport

jasonb

Congrats isedtoknow! Hope it's a smooth pregnancy for you...

Well, I've now been a father for 12 days, and here's what I've learned so far.

1. It's tiring. I mean, really tiring. We're lucky, my daughter is placid and calm (so far) and doesn't cry much, and even slept from about 1:30 til 7 this morning. But it's still so tiring. It's a mixture of lack of sleep, worrying about doing the right thing, and just knowing that's it's going to be like this for a long time. The sheer 'permanence' of it can be overwhelming, especially when you're tired.

2. There are no right and wrong answers. Sure, there are some basics, but in general, you just have to feel your way. Everyone has different opinions, even (or especially) the professionals. You have to trust your instincts, and that's tough when they're brand new instincts! You second guess everything you do (and don't do).

3. If you can wind a baby well, you're halfway there! Well, apart from everything else that helps too...

4. If anything happens more than once in a 5 hour period, you start to treat it like a pattern. Until it changes the following day.

5. Your world becomes very small, and is measured in 3-4 hour chunks.

6. I have amazing amounts of respect for any couples who do this with the father in work. I was lucky enough to save up some holidays and I'm nearly half way through my 4 weeks off. If I hadn't done that, I don't know how me and my wife would cope at all. I'm already dreading going back to work.

7. Take as many offers of help that you can get.

8. Every now and then, your child will look you in the eye, and it'll feel amazing. But you'll still also feel tired and overwhelmed, and that's ok too.

9. Don't buy any clothes (especially if you're having a girl) apart from vests and babygrows. We almost have enough clothes given as gifts to open our own baby boutique now.

10. The kettle will never be used so much, and god help anyone who uses it while you're waiting for the 30 mins so you can make the bottles.

11. Every child is different, so a lot of these observations probably won't even apply to anyone reading this...

Hang in there, all you new fathers!

J.

badgerhowlin

Got to feel the baby kick for the 1st time last night. This will be my 2nd child and have got to feel it all before but it still feels like the 1st time. Cant wait to see baby smurf for the 1st time mid november.

PaddyPope

jasonb wrote: »

Congrats isedtoknow! Hope it's a smooth pregnancy for you...

Well, I've now been a father for 12 days, and here's what I've learned so far.

1. It's tiring. I mean, really tiring. We're lucky, my daughter is placid and calm (so far) and doesn't cry much, and even slept from about 1:30 til 7 this morning. But it's still so tiring. It's a mixture of lack of sleep, worrying about doing the right thing, and just knowing that's it's going to be like this for a long time. The sheer 'permanence' of it can be overwhelming, especially when you're tired.

2. There are no right and wrong answers. Sure, there are some basics, but in general, you just have to feel your way. Everyone has different opinions, even (or especially) the professionals. You have to trust your instincts, and that's tough when they're brand new instincts! You second guess everything you do (and don't do).

3. If you can wind a baby well, you're halfway there! Well, apart from everything else that helps too...

4. If anything happens more than once in a 5 hour period, you start to treat it like a pattern. Until it changes the following day.

5. Your world becomes very small, and is measured in 3-4 hour chunks.

6. I have amazing amounts of respect for any couples who do this with the father in work. I was lucky enough to save up some holidays and I'm nearly half way through my 4 weeks off. If I hadn't done that, I don't know how me and my wife would cope at all. I'm already dreading going back to work.

7. Take as many offers of help that you can get.

8. Every now and then, your child will look you in the eye, and it'll feel amazing. But you'll still also feel tired and overwhelmed, and that's ok too.

9. Don't buy any clothes (especially if you're having a girl) apart from vests and babygrows. We almost have enough clothes given as gifts to open our own baby boutique now.

10. The kettle will never be used so much, and god help anyone who uses it while you're waiting for the 30 mins so you can make the bottles.

11. Every child is different, so a lot of these observations probably won't even apply to anyone reading this...

Hang in there, all you new fathers!

J.

Thank you for this! Been reading my "Pregnancy for Men" book but I love hearing peoples personal opinion on it. We have a scan in 11 days and I can't contain my excitement!!! (Herself will be 14 weeks.)

tempnam

Just a couple more weeks for us until our 1st baby arrives. It's been an emotional roller coaster (for me mostly) over the last 9 months, for various reasons.

But although I'm still slightly anxious about the whole thing I'm really looking forward to it!

My O/H has been amazing throughout - has taken everything in her stride, and been so relaxed about it all. Luckily she never suffered much with morning sickness, weird cravings, or any other medical issues really.

Hoping everything goes smoothly for us. I'll let ye know how we got on after the baby arrives!

haveyoumetted?

Hi I am new to the boards but have been reading this for a while. My partner and I are expecting our first child and I couldn't be more happy and scared. We have our first scan on the 15th and I am so nervous, even more so than my O/H.

Hope everything goes well and Ill let ye know how it goes

tempnam

haveyoumetted? wrote: »

Hi I am new to the boards but have been reading this for a while. My partner and I are expecting our first child and I couldn't be more happy and scared. We have our first scan on the 15th and I am so nervous, even more so than my O/H.

Hope everything goes well and Ill let ye know how it goes

I can relate to how you're feeling. I was exactly the same. Due any day now and it still doesn't seem real if that makes sense. Probably because we've no experience of having a baby so have no idea what it will be like!!

It's an exciting time though, so best of luck with everything!

alansilly

tempnam wrote: »

I can relate to how you're feeling. I was exactly the same. Due any day now and it still doesn't seem real if that makes sense. Probably because we've no experience of having a baby so have no idea what it will be like!!

It's an exciting time though, so best of luck with everything!

exact same as you, our 1st is due tomorrow 3weeks, getting closer and exciting time now, good luck to all :-)

tempnam

alansilly wrote: »

exact same as you, our 1st is due tomorrow 3weeks, getting closer and exciting time now, good luck to all :-)

Good luck with it.

Still no sign of ours yet, more than a week overdue!

Just wondering if any others here went public? We availed of the Domino midwife scheme which has been brilliant. 1st appointment is in the comfort of your own home, with follow up appointments in the local clinic. Only time we had to go to hospital was for scans.

Anyway, as the baby is now overdue we had to go to the Rotunda outpatients department yesterday to see a senior consultant. It was our first time there.

OH. MY. GOD!

It was horrible. If every visit was like that it would turn you off having kids! The place was packed. People were crowded in the waiting room and there were all sorts of smells, from body odours to various foods people were eating... Lots of heavily pregnant women were left standing as 1. lots of daddies wouldn't get up off their asses, and 2. there probably wouldn't have been enough seats anyway for just the pregnant women alone.

The whole atmosphere in the place was very unfriendly, bordering on hostile. Every time the next number was called there was almost a scramble to be seen - even though everyone was allocated a number at check in!!

The staff lovely, and were doing the best they could, but due to the large numbers they weren't able to give any decent amount of time to each patient.

From looking and listening I'd have to say that the Irish patients were definitely in the minority. That really stuck out to me for some reason. Not exactly sure why but it made me feel uneasy - like I was an outsider in my home town.

Resources are almost definitely at breaking point. If we didn't have the option of doing the domino scheme I'd seriously consider forking out whatever money to go private.

lang

So, the ETA is the 4th August on our first. We are still all go for the Home Birth which is great. House is pretty much sorted for the new arrival in the coming days. OH was at the Docs yesterday for the normal check-up and the head is almost fully engaged so we could be joined by the new member to the family anytime now. I am working two more overnights in work over the weekend and then one more day in work after that before I am off work for nearly 3 weeks. I'm due to start back in work on the day OH would be induced (if we get that far)!!

tempnam

Wanted to let you all know we had our first baby last night at 20 to 12. A girl, a big girl! Weight was almost 9lbs.

Great feeling - but I need some sleep now!!

Pat McGhee

Aw congrats tempnam, delighted to hear all is well. Big baby!! Enjoy the sleep, you may not get more for a long time!! :-)

jasonb

Yep, congrats Tempnam, that's great news. My daughter was 9lbs, looked so much bigger than some of the other newborns!

J.

pilph

Hello all.

My partner & I have split up & she is 6 months pregnant. She has asked me to write out my proposals for when the baby is born. Obviously I want to play as much of a part in my child's life as possible but as she already has kids from a previous relationship I was wondering should I offer to rear the child myself?

Would that be unfair on her and insensitive, or a genuine offer to tell her that I am willing to take pressure off her? The relationship broke down and we parted mutually but I don't want to leave her all the hard work to do alone. I no longer go out, do not drink and the only thing the baby would mean is I give up sport (not a problem) but I am ready to do the hard work here so is this offer ok to make?

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this post. Thank you.

jasonb

Hey there...

Sounds like a really tough situation to be in, it can't be easy.

My gut feeling would be that offering to 'rear the child myself' might be taken the wrong way, it that you want it for yourself (i.e. she might think you're looking for custody or something). You could make an offer to take the baby half the time, so that she knows that you're more than willing to have the baby over for a few nights etc. That could be read as 'sharing the load' rather than 'taking her baby from her'. It all really depends on how you think she's take the offer. Not too sure if it's good for a newborn to be spending some nights in one house with one parent and others in another with the other parent, might be hard for them to get into a routine, you know?

It's very tough, I hope it works out for you...

J

pilph

Thanks Jasonb :-)

Our relationship has been tough. We were together for a number of years & then parted as things were not working out. After agreeing no contact, she contacted me out of the blue last year and we got back together. Things were going great until we found out about the pregnancy. It was like a switch being flipped. It caused rows so bad that splitting was the only option. I've seen a solicitor just to research my rights but I don't want to go down any legal route unless I am denied access completely - I'd like for things to be amicable.

I want to look after my child as best as I can but don't want to appear like I've no faith in her. She is a great mother so I want to respect that & this is why I don't want to go making proposals unless they at least sound like I want to help. As I said I'd have no problem giving up anything if it meant looking after my child as much as I could but I know whatever I offer could be seen differently by my ex & I don't want to upset her.

haveyoumetted?

Hey guys,

So after going to our first scan on the 15th of July we found out that my partner was only 10 weeks and 4 days gone. This meant we needed to reschedule for the 30th. Everything went really well and we were in and out of the hospital within 20 mins.

So excited now its unreal and looking forward to the next scan on the 10th of September, where we can possibly find out our baby's sex.

What is everyone's opinion on this subject? At present we are still unsure whether to find out or not.

jasonb

Congrats haveyoumetted?! We found out the gender, we didn't really see why you wouldn't to be honest. I think it helps you get your mind a little bit more ready for the arrival, it's all stressful and amazing and new enough when you baby is born, without adding another unknown into the mix, you know?

But each to their own, some people love the surprise of not finding out until the time comes. It's really whichever the two of ye prefer...

J.

jasonb

pilph wrote: »

Thanks Jasonb :-)

Our relationship has been tough. We were together for a number of years & then parted as things were not working out. After agreeing no contact, she contacted me out of the blue last year and we got back together. Things were going great until we found out about the pregnancy. It was like a switch being flipped. It caused rows so bad that splitting was the only option. I've seen a solicitor just to research my rights but I don't want to go down any legal route unless I am denied access completely - I'd like for things to be amicable.

I want to look after my child as best as I can but don't want to appear like I've no faith in her. She is a great mother so I want to respect that & this is why I don't want to go making proposals unless they at least sound like I want to help. As I said I'd have no problem giving up anything if it meant looking after my child as much as I could but I know whatever I offer could be seen differently by my ex & I don't want to upset her.

Hey pilph...

It's really such a tough situation to be in. I think you're right to research your legal options, but I also think you're right to keep it amicable if at all possible, as that would be so much easier for the 3 of ye in the long term. Like you said, you want to be there as much as possible, but don't what to disrespect her either. It really comes down to communication, if you can explain how you want to help, but also tell her you know she's a great mother, I think that's the way to go. What you're going through isn't easy, but I do believe a balance can be found that will work for you all. Best of luck...

J.

MurdyWurdy

haveyoumetted? wrote: »

Hey guys,

So after going to our first scan on the 15th of July we found out that my partner was only 10 weeks and 4 days gone. This meant we needed to reschedule for the 30th. Everything went really well and we were in and out of the hospital within 20 mins.

So excited now its unreal and looking forward to the next scan on the 10th of September, where we can possibly find out our baby's sex.

What is everyone's opinion on this subject? At present we are still unsure whether to find out or not.

My hubby was unsure as to whether or not to find out the sex - I was the one that wanted to more. He has always seen himself with daughters, not sons so I persuaded him to find out in case it was a boy so he could prep himself properly and not get a shock on the day, on top of the shock of seeing me give birth (he was convinced it was a girl).

It was a boy - and we're so glad we found out. It did prepare us and the day we found out was a special day for us as a couple. Said boy is now 6 weeks old and my husband is besotted with him. We still say occasionally that it was lovely to know the sex in advance and picture ourselves as parents to a son before he arrived. When we had the scan it was very obviously a boy as well so we were very sure - I know someone that was told she was having a girl and had a boy so that was the only reason I would be wary of it.

badgerhowlin

I hate surprises and the likes.
I'm the one that given half a chance would do a small peek at a present if i could.

But finding out the sex of our baby is different. I would love to know but I want to have it as a surprise even more.
On my first, it was the 1st thing I told my self I was going to do, but in fact for some reason I counted her toes!!! The mid wife had to ask me what it was and then I looked.

This time is the same I would LOVE to know but want to wait. I'm going to look between the legs 1st this time, I hope, but my wife did say she counted 6 toes in the scan. GEE thanks love, now I'm going to have to count the toes again first...

haveyoumetted?

I do reckon we will find out as it is something we have discussed a lot. For those who have found out; how long was it before you actually could because it seems to be different for everyone. Do you reckon we can find out on our next scan which we will be 23 weeks?