Dental plan!

fundlebundle · 07-09-2012 10:37am

Wait a minute, let me take a look at that wheelbarrow

Just as I thought, a yard king. That is a quality barrow.

eoin1981 · 07-09-2012 11:15am

Homer: "she figured out my one weakness....that I'm weak"

Father Damo · 07-09-2012 11:55am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjHBMRMSlm4

--Kaiser-- · 07-09-2012 11:55am

"We'll get a new dog......one with an untwistable stomach!"

corblimey · 07-09-2012 2:03pm

First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence

Herb Powell · 07-09-2012 2:34pm

The kids can call him HoJu

JohnMarston · 07-09-2012 3:51pm

McBain: Lets get silly

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 07-09-2012 10:27pm

Eddie: "Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?"
Moe: "No."
(machine buzzes)
Moe: "All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him."
(machine dings)
Eddie: "Checks out. Okay, sir. You're free to go."
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight.
(buzz)
Moe: "A date."
(buzz)
Moe: "Dinner with friends."
(buzz)
Moe: "Dinner alone."
(buzz)
Moe: "Watching TV alone."
(buzz)
Moe: "All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog."
(buzz)
Moe: "Sears catalog."
(ding)
Moe: "Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment."
(buzz)

Valentina · 07-09-2012 11:06pm

Homer: A counterfeit jeans ring operating in my car hole! I'm gonna go tell everyone…
Herman: Not so fast!
Homer: Ooookay... (slows down)
Herman: Maybe you should just stop entirely.

Father Damo · 08-09-2012 6:18am

"Oh my beloved pornography!.....not my plane! I flew to Las Vegas in it with Dean Martin! He looked out the window, and the moon hit his eye, like a big pizza pie....we wrote a song about it! But it turned out it infringed on the copywright of one he had released earlier!"

Wompa1 · 08-09-2012 6:28am

I think this is one too.. may not be a nickle "I only brought a nickle, I didn't know there was going to be pornography"

Cookie_Monster · 08-09-2012 7:45am

Well Seymour, you are an odd fellow but you steam a good ham.

Wompa1 · 08-09-2012 7:46am

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

Well Seymour, you are an odd fellow but you steam a good ham.

"a recipe for...steamed hams?....and you call them steamed Hams despite the fact they are clearly grilled!?"

Father Damo · 08-09-2012 7:52am

Wompa1 wrote: »

"a recipe for...steamed hams?....and you call them steamed Hams despite the fact they are clearly grilled!?"

"The Aurora Borealis!?!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localised entirely within your kitchen?"

"Yes"

"....can I see it?"

"No"

Wompa1 · 08-09-2012 7:53am

Father Damo wrote: »

"The Aurora Borealis!?!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localised entirely within your kitchen?"

"Yes"

"....can I see it?"

"No"

"SEYMOUR THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!"

"No Mother, it's just the Northern Lights!"

Nerdkiller1991 · 08-09-2012 4:23pm

"Smithers, you infernal ninny, stick your left hoof on that flange, now! Now, if you can get it through your bug-addled brain, jam that second mephitic clodhopper of yours on the right doodad! Now pump those scrawny chicken legs, you stuporous funker!"

Seosaimh77 · 09-09-2012 2:28am

Holy smokes, you need booze!

corblimey · 09-09-2012 3:36pm

Hey Bart! Your epidermis is showing!

See, epidermis means your hair so technically it's true. That's what it makes it so funny.

(and of course, "I said 'Ha! Ha!'")

Madam_X · 09-09-2012 4:28pm

Sings: "Love love love love love... I'm in love with lovely Johnny!"

corblimey · 13-09-2012 1:05pm

Commentator: Well, folks, when you're right 52% of the time, you're wrong 48% of the time.
Homer: Why didn't you say that before!

talla10 · 13-09-2012 1:15pm

Rev Lovejoy: A gentle visitor came down from the heavens, died only to come back back to life again. And that mans name was.... E.T. The extra terrestrial. I love that little guy!!

Snake: Wallet inspector

Nerds hand over wallets : I think everything appears to be in order.

Snake: I can't believe that actually works!

Homer: that's not the wallet inspector!!

Nerdkiller1991 · 13-09-2012 4:02pm

talla10 wrote: »

Snake: Wallet inspector

Nerds hand over wallets : I think everything appears to be in order.

Snake: I can't believe that actually works!

Homer: that's not the wallet inspector!!

"Mrs. Simpson, we all have nosebleeds."

"Oh, for the love of..."

corblimey · 13-09-2012 10:24pm

Nerdkiller1991 wrote: »

"Mrs. Simpson, we all have nosebleeds."

"Oh, for the love of..."

Yay, Homer goes to College, a high point for me.

Bart: Well, Pop, what are you gonna do?
Homer: Something I should have done a long time ago!
...
Marge: You don't know, do you?
Homer: No ma'am

Mr. Burns: Remember, your job depends on your successful completion of Nuclear Physics 101. Oh, and one more thing... (ominously) You must find the Jade Monkey before the next full moon
Smithers: Actually, sir, we found the Jade Monkey. It was in your glove compartment

I could go on.

Nerdkiller1991 · 13-09-2012 11:48pm

corblimey wrote: »

Yay, Homer goes to College, a high point for me.

Bart: Well, Pop, what are you gonna do?
Homer: Something I should have done a long time ago!
...
Marge: You don't know, do you?
Homer: No ma'am

Mr. Burns: Remember, your job depends on your successful completion of Nuclear Physics 101. Oh, and one more thing... (ominously) You must find the Jade Monkey before the next full moon
Smithers: Actually, sir, we found the Jade Monkey. It was in your glove compartment

I could go on.

And the creme de la creme...

"OK, guys. Push him out of the way in exactly three seconds."

"Should we correct for wind resistance?"

"Hmm, possibly. What do you think?"

*Homer hits the dean with car*

"Oh, my."

Colmustard · 13-09-2012 11:50pm

I am going to the dentist tomorrow.

I am glad there is a thread to express my reticence, gawd i hate them.

talla10 · 14-09-2012 10:54am

Professor: I am pleased to see all these fresh smiling faces looking up at me but as they say out with the old, in with the neucleous.

Everybody laughs but Homer

Professor: Now where was I...

Homer: HA!! He dropped his notes!! Ha Ha Ha!!!!

Riddle101 · 14-09-2012 1:01pm

Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We dooooo, we doooooo!

Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We dooo, we dooo!

Who holds back the electric car?
Who made Steve Guttenberg a star?
We dooooooo, we dooooooooo!

Who robs cavefish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do!
We do!!!

Brussels Sprout · 14-09-2012 1:11pm

Mr. Burns: OK, Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler.

Spielbergo: Schindler es muy bueno, Senor Burns es el diablo.

Mr. Burns: Pish posh! Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod! We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, damn it!

talla10 · 14-09-2012 3:45pm

Cayman Islands Guy; No I'm sorry but i can't divulge any information about that customers secret illegal account....OH Crap!! I shouldn't have said he was a customer!!...Oh Crap!!! I shouldnt have said it was a secret!! And i certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal...... Ah it's too hot today!

homemadecider · 14-09-2012 3:46pm

Marge: Grandpa, are you sitting on the apple pie?

Grandpa: I sure hope so...

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 14-09-2012 5:05pm

"Welcome back to grade school challenge! Now, what the capital of North Dakota is named after what German leader?"

Homer - "Hitler!"

James Forde · 16-09-2012 1:34pm

Dental plan episode is on channel 4 now

talla10 · 16-09-2012 1:41pm

James Forde wrote: »

Dental plan episode is on channel 4 now

Hmmm.. Organized Crime...

Omackeral · 16-09-2012 8:14pm

From the previously banned episode The Cartridge Family

Marge: Homer I told you this morning, no guns at the dinner table.

Homer: You said the breakfast table.

Marge: IT'S THE SAME TABLE!

DazMarz · 16-09-2012 9:10pm

"Hey, yutz! Guns aren't toys! They're for hunting dangerous or delicious animals and for keeping the King of England outta your face!"

Riddle101 · 16-09-2012 9:21pm

Sorry about the quality, it was the only clip I could find that had the scene.

P.S Michael Jackson voiced the character but did not sing the song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alTfC-L2W1c

Father Damo · 17-09-2012 11:15am

Granpa getting paid for Bart and Lisa writing Itchy and Scratchy scripts

Bart "Did'nt you wonder why you were getting cheques for doing absoloutely nothing?"

Granpa "I figured it was because the Democrats are in power again!" :pac:

Aenaes · 17-09-2012 11:34am

After it's revealed Maggie shot Mr. Burns.

Mr. Burns: "Officers, arrest the baby."
Chief Wiggum: "Yeah, right, pops. No jury in the world is going to convict a baby. Well, maybe Texas."

corblimey · 18-09-2012 9:17am

I may just quit my job at the power plant and become a full-time stock... market... guy

viper006 · 18-09-2012 10:27am

Homer goes to college.

Marge: An A+! How did you do it?
Homer: Oh, let's just say I had help from a little magic box.
Marge: You changed your grade with a computer?
Homer: D'oh!

JohnMarston · 18-09-2012 1:02pm

Welcome to the internet my friend! How may i help you?

Welsh Megaman · 18-09-2012 1:28pm

Aenaes wrote: »

After it's revealed Maggie shot Mr. Burns.

Mr. Burns: "Officers, arrest the baby."
Chief Wiggum: "Yeah, right, pops. No jury in the world is going to convict a baby. Well, maybe Texas."

Dr. Hibbert: Well, I couldn't possibly solve this mystery...can you?

*points to camera which pulls back to reveal he's pointing to Wiggum*

Chief Wiggum: Yeah, I'll give it a shot. I mean...it's my job, right?

TheBunk1 · 18-09-2012 1:30pm

Homer Simpson: [reading an envelope in his mailbox] "Flancrest Enterprizses"?
Ned Flanders: Oops. That's for me. Flancrest Enterprises is my home business,
Homer Simpson: You liar! You don't have a home business! Why would you make up a lie like that?
Ned Flanders: No, it's true. Maude and I sell religious hook rugs over the internet.
Homer Simpson: Internet, eh?
Ned Flanders: Yes, indeedy. Making some good scratch too.
Homer Simpson: Scratch, eh?
Ned Flanders: Yep.
Homer Simpson: Maude, eh?

Il Trap · 18-09-2012 1:39pm

Best lines ever....

Homer: What the hell are you doing?
Lisa: Practicing Tennis!
Homer: That's Tennis? Oh... then what's the one where the chicks wail on each other?
Bart: Foxy Boxing?
Homer: YEAH!...that's what I wanted!

derfderf · 18-09-2012 1:47pm

Father Damo wrote: »

Granpa getting paid for Bart and Lisa writing Itchy and Scratchy scripts

Bart "Did'nt you wonder why you were getting cheques for doing absoloutely nothing?"

Granpa "I figured it was because the Democrats are in power again!" :pac:

Another similar grandpa quote:

Bart: Grandpa, where did you get all that money?

Abe: The Government. I didn't earn it, I don't need it, but if they miss
one payment, I'll raise HELL

derfderf · 18-09-2012 1:54pm

"Smithers, I'm home!"
*laughter*
"What? Already?"
*less laughter*
"Yes."
*laughter*
"Is it my imagination or is tv getting worse?"
"Eh, it's about the same.. Uh oh look out Smithers"
*crashing*
"Ah, i love this show.."

Nerdkiller1991 · 18-09-2012 3:29pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZwgu8_b0Vw

Oh, how prophetic.

talla10 · 18-09-2012 4:56pm

Man: Well I'll be honest Mr Simpson I need an African elephant and I need one today but this just isn't what I'm looking for.

Homer: what the hell ya talking about ? It's an elephant isn't it.

Man: Well it is and it isn't. If you know what I mean.

Homer: He likes peanuts.

DazMarz · 18-09-2012 9:44pm

Lisa: Wake up, Dad! There was a burglar and he took my saxophone!
Homer: WOO-HOO!
Bart: And our portable TV!
Homer: D'oh!!!

AlmightyCushion · 18-09-2012 11:14pm

From the sexual harassment episode.

Kent Brockman: Now, here are some results from our phone-in poll: 95% of people believe Homer Simpson is guilty. Of course, this is just a television poll which is not legally binding. Unless proposition 304 passes, and we all pray it will.

Dental plan!

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