Talk About Your Relationships Here

McChubbin wrote: »

Was gonna go anon for this but feck it, I refuse to empower they gobsheens by hiding.
Only had two "relationships" (if you can call them that) in my life.

The first was when I was eighteen years old. At the time, I was going through some drama and generally feeling very vulnerable. At college, I had only one 'mate' who later turned out to ony befriend me due to the fact he thought I was 'an easy target'. Things ended viciously when I called him on his assholery and afterwards, I became a virtual recluse.

I met my first 'boyfriend' not long after this incident. Let's call him Jerkoff. Being eighteen, I was young, naive and swept away by the hormonal surge brought on by teenage infatuation.
Add to this low self-esteem/confidence and abandonment issues and you've the perfect recipe for disaster.

With the dubiously mixed blessing of hindsight, I realise now that I was indeed an easy target for abuse and Jerkoff openly exploited that fact.

He would play mind games, playing on my insecurities by doing things like arranging a date and then denying any knowledge of it whenever I showed up. He would scream at me if I didn't make him his tea or if I wore something he didn't deem as "appropriate" and on more than one occasion, he would slam me up against a door or wall, pinning me with his hand around my neck. The last straw came when, after I understandably spurned his advances, he forced himself on me and left me so bruised I could barely walk.

To this day, I regret not taking steps to report him to the guards. I was so afraid of him and his mood swings that all I could do was pretend it didn't happen. The relationship lasted about 3 months but to me, it felt more like 3 years. I finally managed to break free one day when he started threatening me in front of his mother for spilling wine on the carpet.

I just had enough and walked out of the house. Afterwards, I was such a nervous wreak and paranoid over wheter or not he'd come after me that i had a nervous breakdown. The worst part was feeling unable to tell anyone about what was happening. As far as everyone else was concerned, they simply thought he'd dumped me and I was "playing the martyr".

Ended up being committed for 24 hours to the "high risk" ward in St. Ita's.
Scared the living bejesus out of me, it did. That day, I vowed to myself that never again would I allow myself to fall into the trap of the "flash bastard".

It would be 3 years until I'd find the courage to talk to another man again.
Up to that point, I was getting my life back on track and trying to make sense of myself. Alone but slowly learning to find comfort my own skin and company, things were looking up. This time last year, I had a new job, I'd reached a milestone birthday and for the most part, I was on an even kneel for my mental health.

Then I met my second boyfriend. Let's call him Dick.

To this day, I have no clue what attracted me to him. He wasn't remotely attractive to me physically. Prehaps it was the witty banter. :rolleyes:
Anyways, we arranged for a date and as much as I tried to play it cool, it turned into a whirlwind romance. After 6 weeks, he asked me to move in with him. Being once more giddy with infatuation, I was thrilled at the prospect. My parents? Hmmm. Not so much. They tried to disuade me and urged me to slow down but being a stubborn lady, I didn't heed the warnings and after another 3 weeks, I moved in to his family home.

That's when the trouble started. Between his interfering mother and her psychotic, steroid-popping partner from Hell, I found that co-habitation was not as all was cracked up to be. The magic had gone and reality settled in. Still, I pushed on and tried to make it work. I did everything I could to make reignite the spark but nothing seemed to work.

In short, I was the one putting all the effort into the commitment whilst Dick lazed about playing Xbox, spending all his money on drink, sponging off me and making me feel utterly worthless.

The final straw came when, after 5 months together (about 3 and half spent cohabitating), I moved out due to conflicts with his parents (they didn't like the fact that I stood up for myself and saw through their money-grubbing ways) and we went back to seeing each other semi-regularly.

We'd arranged to go on a date in town but as I'd other things on my plate at the time, I said I'd meet up with him later. Sure enough, I get a "where are you?" call from him a few hours later and it's clear he's drunk off his tree. Turns out by the time I met up with him, he was nearly parayletic and falling over himself.

I ripped into him for that, told him it's me or the drink. He promised to change and begged me to take him back. Like the stupid, naive, clingy, neurotic lonely little girl I am, I agreed. Things were tepid for a few weeks after that until, at the end of last year, the death kneel was sounded when he pulled the same **** on another night out. Kept on dragging me to pub after pub after pub and insisting I prop him up all night.

I'd had enough and stormed out. Ended up breaking it off with him there and then when he reluculently chased after me. Didn't see him again until a few weeks later when he was bragging about his new fangled gadget and asked to meet up. I basically told him to go "**** himself" and left without a backwards glance.

Good riddence to bad apples, I say.

The pair of them can both die in a fire. :mad:

Wheew... got quite emotional writing all that out. So, yar. That's my turbulent love life. Here's hoping the next person I meet isn't such a headtrip. Lord knows I need some positivity in my life...

Misticles wrote: »

My bf and I were to move in together, not long together, goin out since sept.
He dosnt live in Dublin so wed only see eachother once a week, every day would I miss you etc

Id love to come home to you and wake up to you, he was the one who suggested we move intogther so I started looking for jobs where he lives, grand, got an interview for a really good job, would of been a great start to my career, told him, he was happy etc

About 2 days later I woke up to a txt sayin Im sorry that he couldnt that he wasnt ready etc, needless to say I flipped, in hindsight I over reacted but the fact he suggested and I was willing to uproot myself for him and him to turn around and say that, just knocked me for six. After a few days of fighting about it, it brough about a whole new arguement.

He start Open University last month, a 4 year degree.
He works shift work, would have to do his study and assignments for the course, sees me at the weekend- not the full one as I work either saturday or sunday or sometimes both.

So anyways, what came about was him saying he dosnt know if he has time for me with work and study.

I told him to think about that as I wont play second fiddle so to speak considering we only see eachother once a week, its nt much to ask for- which I dont think it is.

I get that he wants to progress with his education and I have my degree already and I wouldn deprive him of that.

So he decided he wanted a break from us...

This co inciding with him starting new meds, theyre making him constantly tired, moany, depressed, everything!!! So the break in a way is good for me ha as I couldn be around him as hes just sleeping and being moody.

I spoke with him today, asked him about the break- how long it will go on for, he says he dosnt know, that he hopes not long.

Im just upset, I didnt think Id miss him as much I do, and it just hurts to think that after this break hel turn around and say he dosnt have time to make a go of our relationship that he wants to put his study first...

and like a sap, Ive done nothing but cry for the last few hours.
Been smelling his clothes for his smell but its all sniffed out

ugh I sound so sad-- oh well.

princess-lala wrote: »

It was the thoughts of the Monaghan accent that did it for me

princess-lala wrote: »

Incase you didnt know Im Irish so kinda know the accents! :rolleyes:

princess-lala wrote: »

Ha no seriously I cant talk!