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Talk About Your Relationships Here

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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,193 ✭✭✭shqipshume


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    Shqipshume I have this idea that your an Albanian?
    Is he too?

    Hi no i am Irish Moonbaby he is New yorker :)


  • Posts: 11,928 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Is he asking your permission?
    I'm not opposed to open relationships when you have a solid foundation (Long distance doesn't qualify).
    But the only opinion that is relevant on the subject is your own.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,193 ✭✭✭shqipshume


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    Is he asking your permission?
    I'm not opposed to open relationships when you have a solid foundation (Long distance doesn't qualify).
    But the only opinion that is relevant on the subject is your own.

    Well at first it was kinda like that,he did ask me how i felt about it seen as we are not having intimate relations that way.
    I said at begining cause obviously it was just like then,i was ok with it.
    But now i am not so ok with it,He has in conversations become more open with me telling me he is missing me more and he loves me.He doesnt seem 2 be now meeting wit this particular girl there was as i should have mentioned there was only one and she is like bootie call.p.s she knows it aswell.
    Now its been one year we have been together and we will see eachother in August for a month so might go little further.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 842 ✭✭✭Weidii


    Last year I was in a long distance relationship with my BF (Galway/Dublin) and I found that it really suited me! You've got no far of spending too much time with your OH, and all the time apart makes you appreciate your time together alot more. As long as you really want to be with the person, it's totally worth it.

    (He's since moved to Galway and I find I'd like to be long distance again)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Pyr0


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    Ah come now! That doesn't count!

    Its long distance when you're only 17/18 !!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,193 ✭✭✭shqipshume


    Weidii wrote: »
    Last year I was in a long distance relationship with my BF (Galway/Dublin) and I found that it really suited me! You've got no far of spending too much time with your OH, and all the time apart makes you appreciate your time together alot more. As long as you really want to be with the person, it's totally worth it.

    (He's since moved to Galway and I find I'd like to be long distance again)

    awwww thats nice, But really ur thinking that.
    I am finding it alot easier 2 get 2 know him with out physical complications.Did u find it easier 2?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,129 ✭✭✭Nightwish


    Myself and my ex went out for 7 years and it was a long distance relationship for most of it. He lived in Wales for 4 years and I only saw him during the holidays. Then he moved to Kerry, quite a distance from me. You have to trust each other. I had no interest in other guys, so it wasnt hard to keep my hands to myself so to speak. He had no interest whatsoever in other girls - he was a true romantic and wrote letters to me every day. It was hard but we did it, but it ultimately ended the relationship as our lives were going in completely different directions.
    One of my close friends is in a relationship with a guy in Saudi Arabia. They've only seen each other once in the last 6 months. She was miserable for a few weeks but got used to it. They chat daily with skype and webcam. When they are together they really appreciate each other.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,677 ✭✭✭staker


    c'mon pyro stop mocking;)!!! would agree totally, if you like him enough, vice versa, it'll work. ive done cork/edinburgh and found it tough but rewarding


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,624 ✭✭✭NoQuarter


    no doubt the long distance thing can work (i was in kosovo for 6 months while my g/f was in dublin) was tough but not too bad but the issue seems to be the "open" relationship..

    while an open relationship is questionable enough in my book, a long distance open relationship is asking for trouble!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,193 ✭✭✭shqipshume


    king-stew wrote: »
    no doubt the long distance thing can work (i was in kosovo for 6 months while my g/f was in dublin) was tough but not too bad but the issue seems to be the "open" relationship..

    while an open relationship is questionable enough in my book, a long distance open relationship is asking for trouble!

    Thanks guys for ur replies kinda calmed me a little about the long distance thing:)

    So king-stew u think i should let him know i dont feel comfortable with him been with someone else now? Or should i wait till i am with him and mention it then instead of over phone or on comp?:)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 25 ronnieboy


    im here honey


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,756 ✭✭✭Jules


    Sorry guys this is not pi, OP i hope you take some of the advice that has been given on here.

    Jules.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,756 ✭✭✭Jules


    This is not Pi , if ya wanna rant or chat about relationships please do so in the stickied thread., Thanks!


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,767 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Blush_01 wrote: »
    If you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, they're yours forever. If they don't, they were never yours.
    I've seen this quote somewhere and agree with it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 842 ✭✭✭Weidii


    Oh, Watna, you poor thing. I hope your cat pulls through.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    Weidii wrote: »
    Oh, Watna, you poor thing. I hope your cat pulls through.

    Thanks, I appreciate that. I think you only understand if you've ever had an adored pet. Some people just think I'm crazy cos he's only a cat!

    His kidneys are failing. The vet had him on a drip overnight and we have to give him tablets etc but my mum reckons he has weeks, at most. I rang her this morning and the two of us were in bits crying on the phone. Aparently my dad and bro are very upset too. I'm going over to see him later, he's leaving the vet soon (I hope!)

    Luckily my bf realised he's a drunken fool and looked after me yesterday!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,654 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    First of all, thanks to everyone who's helping me, rather than jumping to conclusions. eviledna got it in one saying that some people are being too harsh given the few facts i have, as it would be impossible for me to give a complete situation description, which is unbiased at the same time.

    Yes, i have self-esteem issues. I'm working on those (for quite a while now, and she's helping a lot!)

    I love her like no-one else, and i know she feels the same. She tells me, and we have honest discussions about it, and my freinds say it to her, and her friends say it to me (ie: cArOl above).

    We have discussed this, a good few times, and she knows how i feel, she knows i'm willing to drop everything to go with her if thats what she wants, and i'm not going to stop her. I know that if she does break up with me it's to prevent hurting me if she does make a mistake somenight due to "looking for comfort for being lonely from someone else".

    I came here for opinions from people that could help me, not judgements from people who don't know the full story. It's nice to know there are people out there willing to help someone without immediately jumping on the negative bandwagon and telling me that i'm fubar and that she's better off without me. Ye don't know all the details, and as much as ye think that ye know everything, the immediate jump to negativity shows that ye are not too good at helping people. I might have issues and the wrong views on people, but thats why i'm (inadvertently) looking for help.

    So, to the people who have given genuine help, thank you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,506 ✭✭✭Jackz


    How about giving all the information in the begining.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,654 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    BEcause i'm sure people wouldn't be bothered reading a post longer than a main article in the Irish Times.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 842 ✭✭✭Lauragoesmad


    Why don't you try and organize to go traveling with some of your friends for a year somewhere else? I'd say it would be easy to feel like you're being left behind in this situation but maybe if you made some plans of your own, it wouldn't seem so bad. Anyway, absence makes the heart grow fonder!;)
    I'd say you're a nice bloke and you mean well but just think when discussing this with your g/f you should be more tactful then you have been here. (Stop calling her friend a bitch. She might be a bitch but every time you say that to your g/f you're making her mate look good and you look bad.)
    Good Luck with it anyway!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,900 ✭✭✭Quality


    Sent the Oh down to the butchers for 4lb of ribs, He came back with 4lb of Rib Roast?!?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,553 ✭✭✭Ekancone


    St Bill wrote: »
    So you treat your girlfriend right because you want a pat on the back and to be told that you're the best in the world? I'm sorry, but that sounds self-absorbed to me. And if women are so frustratingly illogical, why do you even want a girlfriend?
    As to whether your girlfriend's friend is stirring things up, a break-up is ultimately going to be your girlfriend's/your/a mutual decision. It sounds like your girlfriend might want to let her hair down on this trip, especially if she doesn't want to be in a relationship when travelling. If so, then let her go and have her adventure and be happy for her. That's the path she wants to follow, you have your own path to follow.

    Agreed.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,196 ✭✭✭Crumble Froo


    aww watna, really sorry to hear about that. hope your cat pulls through, and at least your fella's realised the error of his ways...


  • Posts: 11,928 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I'm so sorry to hear about your cat Watna!
    I'm kind of going through the same thing myself, my much adored 6 month old kitten is gravely ill. :(
    It's heartbreaking.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 42 Corkgirl21


    Last night i came up on the train from home and met my boyfriend at the train station, he collected me. Everything was fine, we went for dinner, hung out at my house etc. then we were supposed to be driving to his house for me to stay over (we've been going out 4 months but see each other everyday and stay over most nights) and i noticed we were heading more in the direction of back to my house and i laughed and said what way are you going? So then i hear the "We need to talk" line.

    I am in complete shock. He had all my stuff from his apartment in a bag in his boot, this came from nowhere. He said he just doesn't feel the same. I hadn't seen him in three days because he'd had to go home to a funeral and then I was home and he said he was thinking about it then.

    We've never had a fight, we were having a good time both in love up until about a week ago apparently. I'm so lost and don't know what to do.

    I couldn't stay in the car and talk about it last night because it came from nowhere. We're meeting up tonight to talk about. I know that it's highly unlikely we're getting back together but does anyone have any advice for keeping sane during the talk.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 508 ✭✭✭SW81


    :( I went through something similar 2 months ago Corkgirl. Came out of nowhere. Was heartbroken. All I'll say is don't beg...it sounds like his mind is made up. As much as it kills you, you have to hold your head up high. Good luck pet, it's a horrible situation to be in I know.


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    SW81 wrote: »
    :( I went through something similar 2 months ago Corkgirl. Came out of nowhere. Was heartbroken. All I'll say is don't beg...it sounds like his mind is made up. As much as it kills you, you have to hold your head up high. Good luck pet, it's a horrible situation to be in I know.

    +1

    Jesus girls, sorry to hear about your recent splits. But like SW81 says don't beg. Say your piece but try not to lose control. Its important that you be able to walk away with your head held high so that you can't use that as a rod for your back in a few months when you feel a bit better.

    Best of luck chicken. That sucks.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 42 Corkgirl21


    Thanks for the replies. It didn't go the best really. We spent a lot of time talking and I just said I thought only thinking about it for a day when he hadn't seen me in a few days was a bit silly and that I was disappointed that he didn't think it was worth giving a bit of time. He said it wasn't an attraction thing it was just something he felt had changed, which i assume means he fell out of love. What's upsetting is that this happened overnight. He said it just hit him out of the blue on Friday.

    TBH he didn't get upset towards the end when he was dropping me home and I was very upset. I know you should be all calm but this was so out of the blue and I (we really, he was happy, he just wasn't in love anymore since Friday apparently) was really happy it was hard not to start crying. But the fact that this didn't upset him, seeing anyone I was close to that upset would really upset me even if I wasn't part of the situation, made me feel worse in some ways and better in others. I would've been upset to lose what we definitely still had which was a fun, happy relationship with good chemistry. Just not love anymore form his side.

    I feel a little better today but I've a feeling it's to do with not thinking about it and having gotten some sleep.

    Thanks for the advice!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 307 ✭✭nikki 122


    hang in there girl it happens to the best if us you know what you should do?.. go out with all your mates and enjoy yourself this weekend but don't go too crazy now that you're single my mates bf dumped her on friday she went out saturday and met loadsa lads and i'm so afraid she will be out of control because like you she thought everything was okay so have fun but be careful x


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,503 ✭✭✭✭jellie


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    Ah come now! That doesn't count!

    why doesnt it count? its hardly 5 mins down the road! more like 3 or 4 hours. ok its not as far as america or anything but its certainly not "normal" relationship distance.


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