Talk About Your Relationships Here

Quality

My DH, put my daughters ipod shuffle in the wash last night, I rang him up and ate him this morning...

Anyhow, The shuffle is still working.. Whoops!!

sar84

sar84 wrote: »

why doesnt it count? its hardly 5 mins down the road! more like 3 or 4 hours. ok its not as far as america or anything but its certainly not "normal" relationship distance.

I'm not saying that it isn't tough, especially for that OP who was a student. But most people with that sort of distance see their partners every week.
You could be living with someone and not getting as much quality time as a couple commuting that distance.

It just doesn't compare to the hardships of not seeing your loved one for months on end.

Also it definitely falls into the spectrum of normal, especially for the young and those not from Dublin.
Most people I know, will have had a commutable distance between themselves and their partner at some point. What with college and starting out in Careers.

gcgirl

Quality wrote: »

My DH, put my daughters ipod shuffle in the wash last night, I rang him up and ate him this morning...

Anyhow, The shuffle is still working.. Whoops!!

Its still working !! must be water proof!:D

gcgirl

Plus i think i have got my mum on side about me moving the the West of Ireland!! yippie

mollybird

well the day has finally arrived. my current beau is finally moving out of his place and moving to a new place. im so excited for one reason and my boyfriend doesn't know about it. i even bought him a bottle of champagne to secretly celebrate our new fresh start.
before i got with my boyfriend i was seeing his flatmate for 6 months of the time they were living together. i was seeing this guy on and off for 4 years before he "fell in love" and got married to an american and moved over there. we had some good and bad times there. i was so excited abouty today and then i looked at his facebook page and all of a sudden i ached for him. there will be no memories of him around after today but the only bad thing is that he is still friends with my O/H. i feel this guy is going to haunt me forever:(

conbob

Potential-Monke wrote: »

GinnyJo, it was just an idea in their heads before i came on the scene, so she tells me anyway.

Einstein, i is 24 years young. 25 in May.

a six year relationship when u were only a teen!! fair juice :eek:

jellie

i hate that my bf has so much college work that he has hardly any time for me

im not angry with him, its not his fault, & i totally understand cause it was me with no time last year, just hate that i cant see him much & ive been crazily busy with work this week (though hopefully the worst of it is over) so we barely got to talk & its long distance so we kinda need our talk time.

he came up on friday night cause we had tickets for something, but then had to spend all day yesterday doing work, then we got a few hours together yesterday evening before he had to go cause has loads more work to do today but i know even coming up took a lot of time off his work & i really appreciate it. just miss him..

sorry.. just feeling a bit down & lonely, & this seemed as good a place as any to put it!

SheRa

Im sending you Hugs Sar84.

Hopefully the busiest part is over for you, and it will be all worth it when he is finished studying. What course is he doing?

jellie

construction. sounds like he has loads of work. im sure things are 100 times harder than they are for me, just felt like a moan :P

She Devil

I've had a tough week with my OH, arguing over silly things ... we live 3hrs from each other and all i want now is a hug!!! I want to say men are bstrds lol but they arent! and he certainly isn't .. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhh!
thanks for letting me vent ...

justsomebloke

sar84 wrote: »

construction. sounds like he has loads of work. im sure things are 100 times harder than they are for me, just felt like a moan :P

I would also say that the added stress of the decline in the construction market isn't helping him either. He probably knows it is a tough market for him to be coming into at the moment as most offices are starting to let people go (I work in the construction industry but I do IT) and it is a nervous time for us all. So just remember things like that could be playing on his mind as well.

jellie

jsb wrote: »

I would also say that the added stress of the decline in the construction market isn't helping him either. He probably knows it is a tough market for him to be coming into at the moment as most offices are starting to let people go (I work in the construction industry but I do IT) and it is a nervous time for us all. So just remember things like that could be playing on his mind as well.

i know yeah. im being extra nice to him, i know hes stressed, just miss him. but i see him friday, yay

moonstone77

how do you get the funny clapping hand s i love them :P

missingyou

My boyfriend and i are coming up to our ten month anniversary, and I love him so much and he loves me. We have a long distance relationship, hes in belfast and im in dublin but on holidays we go back home to donegal where we both live. However, any time we come back to our homes we have terrible problems recently. Last night, he told me I was boring and repititive, i dont think either of us want to give up on this relationship but we obviously need to sort something out but I dont know what to do, next year im planning to belfast to live with him. But these issues need to be sorted! I've been up all night in despair not knowing what to do! If anyone had any advice on what I could do I would be really really grateful!

sharkie2008

missing you, when you both are home do you spend most of your time alone, just the two of you? do you seem to do everything together?

im asking because im in my last year at uni at newcastle while my boyfriend is at home in derry. we've been going out since before i started uni and have found it hard work. one of our problems was not seeing each other for a month or more then spending too much time together when im home. through my first year during the holidays we would spend all our time together and would end up argueing a lot. now we know that while we do miss each other spending all day everyday together is not good for us. we make an effort to do things with our own friends. we also make an effort to do different things with each other not just sitting in watching a dvd.

i don't know if this helps, i may have read your post wrong, in which case forget this lol

missingyou

Yeah, it is that we spend a lot of time together, but recently it has and i admit it gotten a bit mundane and i tihink its the fact that we like spend too much time alone and not doing anything. I went around his house today and we had a big conversation and things feel a bit better now, but im still worried! He told me today that things this week have gotten really boring again and that we dont seem to entertain each other i still not sure what that means though :S Im so worried about our relationship!

Wibbs

Now this is my humble and may well be good to ignore, but....

Maybe although you love each other you're not that compatible. It's possible. The boredom aspect is fine and you can certainly reduce it by not being boring and doing stuff, but I can certainly say in any of my best relationships, the ability to do absolutely nothing with each other was as important as doing things with each other(that goes for mates too).

Life is full of the "boring and repetitive" stuff. Indeed where real companionship, affection and love is in play the boring stuff is helped by the other person. It makes it easier and can often make the repetitive stuff you do as a couple part of who you are. Anyone can have fun when sharing the fun stuff, the mundane and how you both feel around each other in the mundane would be a good yardstick of true compatibility.

In any relationship you can distract yourself with doing stuff, but what happens when say you live with each other down the line? This can be a reason why couples implode when they do move in together. The boyfriend/girlfriend stuff of going out together is fine, often very good but, dealing with each other as actual people, not man and woman away from dating may be an issue, even if the feelings run strong. The feelings can often cloud that though for a time, especially in the loves young dream stage.

You can have a relationship with a lot of love, but not a lot of friendship and companionship. If you were in a relationship with the latter two you would be questioning the future of it. I would suggest the reverse is also true.

Hope you steer through it anyway.

missingyou

the thing is we are so compatabale with each other, and often do nothing at all but something about this week has been off! We were friends before we got into a relationship and he truely is my best friend. I dont know what it is exxactly thats been wrong with it but i have a feeling alcohol is involved and the constant late nights and hangovers have been making us both crabby! The thing is we rarely do stuff, as we usually have no money xD I understand what you are saying about the friendship thing and all but the thing is we are great friends and enjoy each others company all the time! We have this connection of understanding and love that i cant explain but i honestly think that this week home has been very weird! He also admits that he is a crabby person and that at times he bes like this and its true with everyone! But we can spend days on end talking and we are great... i dont know how to move on from this week and not be so emotional and sad and totally depressing us both!!

Wibbs

Ah well in which case it's probably some little bump on the road. He could be down over something and he won't tell you(bloke way of dealing type of thing) so don't dwell on it for the moment and don't worry it into something when it's probably nothing(woman way of dealing type of thing :)). Make a plan and surprise him. Doesn't have to involve much if any cost. You can have fun with very little money. Some of the most fun people ever have was when they were young kids and they were broke so....

sharkie2008

i agree with what wibbs has said, sounds like a bump in the road. sometimes things seem a bit stale and just need a little livening up. don't get down about it

Wibbs wrote: »

Make a plan and surprise him. Doesn't have to involve much if any cost. You can have fun with very little money. Some of the most fun people ever have was when they were young kids and they were broke so....

this is so true, one of the best days i've had was getting a picnic, a football and tennis rackets and balls and having a day at the beach. a great time doesn't have to cost a lot

cobweb

Kind of a rant.

For example recently we went to Paris and OHs fave artist was playing so I bought us tickets 285e and then accidentally met the artist afterwards.There have been other examples in our relationship but always has been intiated/organised/carried out by me.

He has never done anything big for me, I never even got bought an engagement ring before we married. At the time it was because we had no money. This at the time was fine as j bought myself a ring for 9 euro thinking one day we will replace it.I pointed out tonight that nothing big has ever been done for me and he said cause he had no money. I then pointed out that i dont have money either that i had to save for 6 months to buy the ticktes for the gig. He then said big things dont count that its the little things that count, easy to say when little things and bigs things get done for you. He then said he wants no more of these so called big things. But i said i do when am i going to have something big done for me.

But i would love once to have something done bigstyle/special for me. Does anyone know what i mean?

BTW the above exchange did occur during an argument about something else but it makes me feel so sad to think i am not worth dong something big/special for

His justification is no money but he earns 1500 a month i know 1100 goes on bills but it is possible to save even a 10er a month. I earn a lttle bit more then him but i still have to save for stuff. For my birthday this year i got an M&S necklace and a cheap jewellery box (2nd one he bought me) and a pet shop voucher, i dont have any pets. I am 37 and he has never bought me a necklace that doesnt have the words silver plated written on it. the money he spent last week could have been spent on a decent necklace.

I hope i dont sound materialistic, I amn't but i just feel that nothing i do is enough. We had silly argument about how much cooking we do and how apparenty i do none as even though i do most of the preparation of the food, it doesnt count as he feels he is the one cooking it, that i should do more.

He was going on earlier that in the interest of egalitarianism everyone should do their equal share and later he said that since i am faster at doing stuff then him, i should do more to help him.

missingyou

Here guys thanks a lot for everything! Last night me and the boyfriend went out together and we really spend some quality time together, later on today we went to the beach just him and me and we really enjoyed it! We totally got our spark back again, and ive never been so in love with him! Last night he told me that when he does things like that he doesnt mean to and he is just having an off day and for me not to take it so seriously! and i totally am not going to anymore! so anyway thank you all, knowing me though ill probably be on here ranting and raving about another problem later on!

mollybird

missing you ya me and my boyfriend are doing the distance thing is well. im in dundalk in college while he works full time in dublin. since we only see each other once or twice a week we do spend or time alone together. i find to make things nice i dress up for him as i know he likes it and i can't afford to buy him things or even dinner. when we making dinner we like to make up strange things put a bit of fun into it. he really isn't good at verbalising how he feels or makes a comment if he likes how i look but in the end he makes it up in so many other ways.

21738

my boyfriend has always went for slim tanned dark haired women...
I am the complete opposite with blonde hair a size 12 and irish skin..Im so worried that i will not live up to his expectations and that he will get rid of me.Iwant to tone up but i find myself eating more and its a vicious circle. I feel that i have no fashion sense either i love just wearing hoodies and o neills. i am always afraid wen he goes out on a nite out incase he meets someone ...any suggestions to boost my confidence

Wibbs

21738 wrote: »

my boyfriend has always went for slim tanned dark haired women...

And now he's with you so enjoy that. Have you actually seen any of these slim tanned brunette beauties? Some guys talk up their expectations and indeed the "quality" of their exes. I have a mate that'll tell you straight that he goes for gorgeous women of a certain type and given that the rest of us have met said beauties, the talk doesn't match up to his version of reality. In any case I suspect your BF doesn't look like Brad Pitt in fight club and you're with him are you not?

I am the complete opposite with blonde hair a size 12 and irish skin..Im so worried that i will not live up to his expectations and that he will get rid of me.

Size 12 is hardly baluberous for a start and lots of guys dig pale blondes. Enough brunettes will tell you that.

Iwant to tone up but i find myself eating more and its a vicious circle.

Naturally as you feel slightly inadequate in the first place and since any toning plan requires time and effort, you feel it's not worth it as it may not make a difference, then into vicious circle. If you want to do it, do it for you. At first pretend you're worth it like the ad says. Fake it til you make it and your confidence will grow. Now of course doing it for you is the usual answer and lets face it in the end we do that stuff so we look good for others which makes us feel good. Still and all worth a try

I feel that i have no fashion sense either i love just wearing hoodies and o neills.

That you can change if you want to. I'm sure you have some fashionista mates, so maybe dip your toe in the water and see what happens.

i am always afraid wen he goes out on a nite out incase he meets someone

You could be aphrodite herself and he could meet someone else and go for her. Put that outa your mind or it'll drive you mad and drive him away.

...any suggestions to boost my confidence

Maybe join a fitness type thing. Doesn't have to be the gym. Hill walking would tone your arse and legs, kick boxing or some sort of martial art are fun, will get you fit tone you up and would boost your confidence too. Baby steps and just try something. If nothing else it'll be better than where you are at the moment.

roccabella

boyfriend of nearly 5 years, currently living together, both 29. Really in love with him. We've had a few discussions about marriage and he doesnt agree with them, but he compromised and said within 2 years we'll get engaged (that was 6mths ago). The problem is it kinda niggles at me, like why wait 2 years (it feels a long time for me) and how I don't want some guy to feel he has really compromised by agreeing to get married down the line, rather someone who would really love to get married to me. Last night it came up again and we just argued about it. Didnt sleep too well so this might help to get it off my chest.

watna

roccabella wrote: »

boyfriend of nearly 5 years, currently living together, both 29. Really in love with him. We've had a few discussions about marriage and he doesnt agree with them, but he compromised and said within 2 years we'll get engaged (that was 6mths ago). The problem is it kinda niggles at me, like why wait 2 years (it feels a long time for me) and how I don't want some guy to feel he has really compromised by agreeing to get married down the line, rather someone who would really love to get married to me. Last night it came up again and we just argued about it. Didnt sleep too well so this might help to get it off my chest.

Hmm, I'm not sure. Some people don't believe in marriage per se but has he talked a lot about how he wants to be together forever? If he does and talks about your future a good bit e.g. one day we'll go here, or live here, or I want x number of kids, then I wouldn't worry about it.

If you believe in marriage and he doesn't, but is willing to marry you because he wants to be with you for the rest of his life then that seems like a good thing for him to do.

If he seems really shaky talking about your future and commitment shy, then maybe you should worry.

roccabella

He does talk about the future together and of kids and stuff, and I know for him to say okay within two years we'll get engaged is very good despite the fact that he doesn't agree with getting married. I should just relax and enjoy what we have now but I suppose I feel ready for marriage and just don't really get why he isn't all for it.

jellie

is my bf the only 1 that reacts to things being bad for a couple of weeks by thinking we need to break up? FFS yes we havent been getting on but weve both been stressed & busy with college & work, things cant be perfect all the f*cking time.

how can anyone be prepared to throw a yr & a half away because of a few weeks of not getting on.

are relationships really worth the head mess that can go with them.. my friend & i were talking today & shes having a bit of a bad time with her bf at the moment too. i said "things would be so much easier without bfs". she said "yeah.. but we better be careful what we say cause we might not have them soon".

i dont even know how to DEAL with this stuff. we've agreed to give each other some space while were both so busy for the next few weeks but to talk every night, & then we'll spend a proper bit of time together & see how things are. i dont think its fair to judge our whole relationship on the last few weeks.. but i dont want to drag it out for a month or 2 if were just going to break up anyway.. God i dunno what to do

sorry just needed a rant.. Although i guess thats what the thread title says

Rozabeez

What annoys me about it? The fact that it's not a relationship and I'm in that 'Just before a relationship' stage where you're like, "Man, is this just a once, twice, third off thing?", "Why doesn't he bother texting?", "Is he bored ALREADY?"

****ing hell, I'm actually insecure over a guy because he's not giving me any attention unless we're out together... says a lot for my personality eh?