Talk About Your Relationships Here

watna

I don't think 10 month is that short a time if you're sure and spend a lot of time together.

I moved in with my bf after 8 months, but we were living together unofficially at that stage anyway.

OP, if you think you're at that stage but he doesn't then I'd say there's a problem. It sounds like he won't consider making any kind of commitment and you want to. Imo, that can only lead to problems and unhappiness. Maybe taht's something to think about, especially if you take in to account the way you were treated, it might just be best to move on.

Dragan

watna wrote: »

I don't think 10 month is that short a time if you're sure and spend a lot of time together.

Horses for courses and all that.

watna

Dragan wrote: »

Horses for courses and all that.

Exactly, it depends on the kind of relationship you have really.

Niamho!

Dragan wrote: »

Okay, looking to move in after just 10 months would have me saying "I don't think that's such a good idea, we're only together a short while."

The sex thing? I'm with you on that one, sex is important and needs to be worked on however moving in is not the answer.

Being told to **** off is just not on and he needs to apologise for that one.

It should be noted, the moving in idea might have thrown him somewhat, so he may have been off balance at the time.

Still a dickhead move mind.

I agree with this. the lack of Sex thing obviously a big deal.
but if someone was talking about moving in with me after 10 months i think i'd be a bit freaked out aswell.
...then i suppose that deoends on the relationship but yeah, i'd imagine i'd be a bit freaked.

aye

watna wrote: »

I don't think 10 month is that short a time if you're sure and spend a lot of time together.

well a friend of mine did move in with his gf after 7 months, and they are still living together 2 years later.
we think he only moved in with her tho, cos none of the lads would move in with him.

different strokes for different folks i suppose.

telling you to f-off was well out of line regardless.

Maple

You're only together 10 months, maybe he's not ready to move in just yet.

You see each other at least 4 nights a week and you want to see him more? Let the boy have his space ffs. He said he "loves you", how is he disproving it? (apart from the fcuk off obviously) Just because you're ready for something and he's not doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

Lack of sex. Definitely an issue and you need to sort that out.

His drinking being his hobby. If you're not happy with it, discuss it with him and try and reconcile it. If you can't, then forget it and move on.

Telling you to fcuk off? Out of order but maybe he felt pressured. Doing it 3 times tho, get the message and leave him alone. For the minute anyway. Till he gets his head together.

Tommy the Cat

There's got to be more to this, seems awfully strange with him telling you to f*ck off, out of character and all. Dont contact the prick whatever you do.

the GALL

meglome wrote: »

Well lucky you :rolleyes: That's like having a **** buddy not a relationship.

f**k buddy reminds me of the 90's and a stable I ran
Girl get it together he told you to f off and you'd put up with that in the 'dating' stage of things I can only imagine what the tone would be like in a couple of years and you wondering what went wrong...... if he does't have you on a pedestal he's not worth it. move on, you've got to be with the bad one's to know when you've got a good one.

Slow Motion

ttaylor wrote: »

Well, I got told to f*uck off tonight. I asked him for more than just a few nights out together. We are together 10 months (me 30 & him 33) we see each other at least four times a week, and apparently he 'loves me.' I said I would like more than that...maybe move in together... he said things were just fine. We no longer have a sex life due to his 'accommodation' so I suggested moving in together. He said things are fine as they are, I disagreed. When he asked me why, I gave him an honest answer, too many people in one house, no sex etc......... he said he always goes to my house ....(which is once every two weeks for the record and I live at home). When I said a (as an adult female, who doesnt want marriage or kids...but i dont mind porn or soccer...which he apparently apprecieates) So I was told to literally F*uck off.

Thoughts please?!!!!? Male and female????

OK! You see him 3-4 times a week, I think that is plenty, however, no sex? neither of you has your own place? That's a problem, at least he should be bringing you away for the night/weekend to a hotel so you can get up to no good, TBH if he is not prepared to make that effort and has told you to fcuk off, then I think you should do so literally (I am on your side here), let him bugger off find yourself a real man with his own place and move on with your life, trust me you will be better for it in the long run!

aye

the GALL wrote: »

if he does't have you on a pedestal he's not worth it. move on, you've got to be with the bad one's to know when you've got a good one.

ah come on!!
if he had her on a pedestal the complaint would be that he is to needy or clingy or whatever.
its about a happy balance, not the guy doing everything for the girl.

the GALL

aye wrote: »

ah come on!!
if he had her on a pedestal the complaint would be that he is to needy or clingy or whatever.
its about a happy balance, not the guy doing everything for the girl.

No no no your missin the point he doesn't have to tell her that he's mad about her yada yada yada, that would drive anyone nuts. if your in a working relationship your treat your partner as and equal or better not an equal or worse. Thats what makes it work.

aye

the GALL wrote: »

if your in a working relationship your treat your partner as and equal or better not an equal or worse. Thats what makes it work.

i agree with that, striving for equal footing.

geminilady

he should have never swore at you, you were only asking a question is this guy worthy of your time?

MajorMax

Cut your losses and run, lifes too short to deal with a muppet like that he may be 33 but he seems to act like he's 13

the GALL

aye wrote: »

i agree with that, striving for equal footing.

Im not havin a dig at ya :)but relationships should be starting on an equal footing not striving and as the relationship grows thats when you should place your partner above you, but only if the love is being returned. If it is'nt and the op's is'nt then she may be on a lost cause. Ill put it another way. If your partner(/buddy/wife/husband/FRIEND(most importantly)) is'nt watching your back what's the point.
That girl could go out tonight and meet a lad in a pub have a few beers meet him again fall in love together(this time) and wonder what she seen in yer man. life is too short to be wasting on people who dont show respect for ya (and yes respect is earned but after ten months if you havn't earned it why bother trying any harder)

aye

the GALL wrote: »

Im not havin a dig at ya :)but relationships should be starting on an equal footing not striving and as the relationship grows thats when you should place your partner above you, but only if the love is being returned. If it is'nt and the op's is'nt then she may be on a lost cause. Ill put it another way. If your partner(/buddy/wife/husband/FRIEND(most importantly)) is'nt watching your back what's the point.
That girl could go out tonight and meet a lad in a pub have a few beers meet him again fall in love together(this time) and wonder what she seen in yer man. life is too short to be wasting on people who dont show respect for ya (and yes respect is earned but after ten months if you havn't earned it why bother trying any harder)

i think we just have different interpretations of a pedestal.

putting someone on a pedestal to me, means when they say "jump" you say "how high?"

OP kick him in the nads.

the GALL

aye wrote: »

i think we just have different interpretations of a pedestal.

putting someone on a pedestal to me, means when they say "jump" you say "how high?"

OP kick him in the nads.

I think your right (different interpretations)
Im talking about love, the love that's givin and the love that's recieved. your talking about loseing your self respect

SarahSassy

ttaylor wrote: »

After he told me to f*ck off three times, i did. I f*cked off and left him sitting there. We don't usually fight, we do have a close enough relationship but this was totally out of character. I have since called him but he is not answering the phone.....so I guess this it it.

Thats not good enough.. His actions are appalling and if you were my sister / friend I would be telling you to dump him... He has no respect for you. Is his lack of sex drive due to heavy boozing? Is no excuse and he would be out the door if he told me to F off.

LivingDeadGirl

Based on what you've told us, I'd get rid, he sounds like a waste of time.

shqipshume

Hey everyone just wanted to ask you's what you think of long distant relationships? And if its long distant how would u feel if he was say getting his pleasures from other girls. If you havent consummated the relationship!
How would u feel alright with it?
And what do the guys think could you do that and but have feelings for a girl far away?

NoQuarter

well its possible to have feelings for a girl miles away and its possible to be in a relationship with her but if your having your cake and eating it so to speak the relationship is really a sham isnt it!?

i just dont think that would work! the relationship wouldnt actually stand for anything ya know!

shqipshume

king-stew wrote: »

well its possible to have feelings for a girl miles away and its possible to be in a relationship with her but if your having your cake and eating it so to speak the relationship is really a sham isnt it!?

i just dont think that would work! the relationship wouldnt actually stand for anything ya know!

Thanks for reply, But if u havent had sex together and were waiting 2 see how it progressed.Would u be able to go with out sex for 6 months periods and only have the girl wit u for a week and not have sex with her and wait again til she came back 2 see you?

Pyr0

Well I'm in a long distance relationship now and everything is grand, we both get lonely and miss each other physically loads, but we talk all the time in some way which helps a lot ! It makes it all worth it when I see her, you'd have to stay 100% commited to each other for it to work tbh.

shqipshume

Pyr0 wrote: »

Well I'm in a long distance relationship now and everything is grand, we both get lonely and miss each other physically loads, but we talk all the time in some way which helps a lot ! It makes it all worth it when I see her, you'd have to stay 100% commited to each other for it to work tbh.

Awwwwww thats lovely:), how far is she away if you dont mind me asking?

Pyr0

She's in Cork and im in Dublin

shqipshume

Pyr0 wrote: »

She's in Cork and im in Dublin

Awwwwww so sweet:) But i am talking Oceans apart ? what do u think would u be able 2 do that but build relationship with a girl but have sex with someone else obviously not everyday or every week but when the urge called for it?

Pyr0

Nah regardless of when it was i'd be still upset, it couldn't work for me personally. If the person is really worth it you'd be able to stick it out !

shqipshume

Pyr0 wrote: »

Nah regardless of when it was i'd be still upset, it couldn't work for me personally. If the person is really worth it you'd be able to stick it out !

Yes i know i would just wondering if the guy could?so u could nice good for u Thanks good luck wit ur girl

Pyr0

Pyr0 wrote: »

She's in Cork and im in Dublin

Ah come now! That doesn't count!

Shqipshume I have this idea that your an Albanian?
Is he too?