What are your funniest Irish sayings?

FunkyChicken · 04-10-2007 11:06am

I hate pretty much all of these sayings

Red Hand · 04-10-2007 3:17pm

"Tis far from that you were raised!"

Paulj · 04-10-2007 4:21pm

"jasus thats wet rain" ...i reference to light drissly rain that get ya soaked in 10 seconds...

LovelyTom · 04-10-2007 10:54pm

she's tigh'er than a crabs hole

04-10-2007 11:27pm

Giving out yards.

tis' a lazy wind! : wind on a cold day that doesn't go round you but through you (english saying)

dos30 · 09-10-2007 4:50pm

Shan75 wrote:

Another good one is "Go way you handicap" which only works in a dodgy Limerick accent.

Another Limerick one

Handicapable Fella

GerryRyan · 09-10-2007 5:38pm

"as happy as a pig in sh1te" is a favourite of mine (kildare(ish) saying)

or

I've known him since he was knee high to a grasshopper" (need a thick bog accent)

lezizi · 09-10-2007 5:59pm

dos30 wrote:

Another Limerick one

Handicapable Fella

I have never heard that in limerick before

anomie_desuetud · 09-10-2007 10:09pm

"Stop the lights!". Good old Bunny Carr

Me Dad says, when you ask him how he's doing, "Still on the baker's list", as in, still alive

"She'd live in your ear" -Tight

L31mr0d · 13-12-2007 9:06pm

It's like the kettle callin' the pot black.

Mweelrea · 13-12-2007 9:12pm

you're like a fella lookin' for a forest but can't see with all the trees in the way

he's a mouth as wide as the grand canyon and twice as deep

TheEx · 13-12-2007 10:23pm

in this order:

Strung up by the balls on a rusty nail
Quit that codology
Grand set of delph on yer wan / yer man
I will in my swiss!

Lockstep · 13-12-2007 10:24pm

GUy-Is she good looking?
Guy in Gaelthuct-Shes riding the bus to averagestown.

Other guyWhat about her friend?
Guy in Gaelthuct-Shes running behind

Mweelrea · 13-12-2007 10:24pm

jeysus you're some numpty is a new one thats developed

the GALL · 13-12-2007 10:36pm

You three are a right pair
ya stupid eejit...(always like that one )never met a clever one
As full as a wheelie bin
a face like a bulldog chewin a wapse
and me favorite...if i had a bag of mickeys i still wouldn't give ya one
ya langer ya

themadchef · 13-12-2007 10:39pm

My personal favourites:

F**K me said the queen bee....and many died in the rush

Ride me sideways Grainne.....

How's yer belly for a lodger

Colder than a whores heart

Lockstep · 13-12-2007 10:43pm

Mweelrea wrote: »

jeysus you're some numpty is a new one thats developed

Me?

Best Irish one ever:

DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING!

the GALL · 13-12-2007 10:47pm

i kissed like a mule on an apple

and i went down on her like a rothweiller in a bowl of porridge

Lockstep · 13-12-2007 10:49pm

and i went down on her like a pikey sucking coins outta a drinks machine

Toots · 13-12-2007 11:04pm

she had a face like a bucket of smashed crabs

ask me left one!

get up ya boyo!

gowan ourra that!

I will in me hole

Sweating like a pregnant nun

ask me arse

feck that for a bag of chips

motherajaysus!

jaysus wept!

stall the ball

she'd suck a sheep's eye through a hedge of nettles

feckless rogue/arseagog/gobsheen

he/she'd talk the leg off a stool

he/she'd talk the hind leg off a donkey

ask the back of me sack

the arsehole of nowhere

ballygobackwards (somewhere rural)

rainbowtrout · 13-12-2007 11:23pm

phrases my mother has used - mainly directed at me

when I wasn't allowed go somewhere/do something:

if your friends jumped into the Shannon would you do the same?

total disbelief:

do i look like i came down in the last shower?

sick/hungover:

you look like **** on a slate

how i would like to describe some of my students!

thick as two short planks and not half as useful

the only culture you'll ever know is agriculture

I miss Limerick slang, haven't called anyone a gowl in ages.

another variaton on 'i'll break your face for ya' in this neck of the woods is 'I'll burst (bursht) ya!'

MrJoeSoap · 13-12-2007 11:27pm

rainbowtrout wrote: »

I miss Limerick slang, haven't called anyone a gowl in ages.

Thats been my favourite word for the past few months.

marcsignal · 13-12-2007 11:27pm

I will in me bollix

I will in me sh*te

Shut the jeasus door

You're like a hen in a temper (In Ill fitting Clothes/too small)

That's a load of me bollix

Feck Off

rainbowtrout · 13-12-2007 11:49pm

don't be blackguardin'

i'll throttle ya
as tight as tuppence
he's only a gurrier
he had a puss on him/he had a face on him that would stop a clock

and
you look like a streel...

i've never heard anyone except my mother say this ... and it wasn't complimentary

eroo · 13-12-2007 11:51pm

Even if I had a bag of bruised willies,I wouldn't give her one..

Lockstep · 13-12-2007 11:53pm

I wouldnt ride her into battle

Face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle

csk · 14-12-2007 12:29am

"backarse of nowhere"

"nearly never shagged a cat"

after a moment of profound enlightenment: "I see says the blind man a hole in the wall" to which should be added "shut up says the deaf man you can't see at all."

"you wouldn't be well if you're sick"

"as useful as tits on a bowl"

"as tight as a fishes arse"

"transmogrified/stocious" for drunk

"you walked home with all grace of a pregnant elephant on ice"

Pj! · 14-12-2007 12:31am

kickoutthejams wrote: »

I wouldnt ride her into battle

I like it!

themadchef · 14-12-2007 12:36am

And least i forget this graceful Dublin err lady who punches her fist in the air whie dancing (alone!) in the middle of busy bar....

proclaiming........"up yer sister" repeatedly.

sooo not a country saying lol

EdgarAllenPoo · 14-12-2007 12:40am

"Sure, a dog with a hammer up his arse could do that."

"Jaysus, you'd fit a bus in there."

dlambirl · 14-12-2007 12:48am

Your as Awkward as a sow in reverse!

You have your sh*te

enda_4 · 14-12-2007 1:02am

That ones taller lyin down than she is standing up

I'm as sick as a small hospital

Ah ur bag!

dartsfan · 14-12-2007 1:24am

Full as a boot

Fat as a butcher's dog

A story on top of a shtick (bullsh*t story)

Sweating like a rapist

SUNGOD · 14-12-2007 1:31am

" go way ya hoors melt "

"lets not turn this rape into a murder "

Mweelrea · 14-12-2007 1:33am

SUNGOD wrote: »

"lets not turn this rape into a murder "

who says that??????

:D

SUNGOD · 14-12-2007 1:47am

Mweelrea wrote: »

who says that??????:D

its been said believe me ............and hes behind you

hallelujah · 14-12-2007 3:54am

mac1970 wrote: »

Fu(k me pink and call me toby

I lol'd. Probably cos I used to have a dog called toby.

colm_mcm · 14-12-2007 5:25am

"I wouldn't get up on her to hang wallpaper" is one of my favourites.

enda_4 · 14-12-2007 5:49am

"Ach would ye staaap!"

rogue-entity · 14-12-2007 8:25am

He's effin and blindin
As tight as a ducks arse - Tight
Yer like an idunnowat/Whater ya like ay?
The room looks like a bomb hit it
Ye'd argue with Christ
Ah for feck sake
Feck off.
Backarse of nowhere/Out in the sticks/Middle of the sticks
Up **** creak without a paddle.
Banjaxed/Bolloxed
Made a right haems of it/Made a right balls of it.
Not in a month of Sundays
Death warmed over - hungover
Up and down like a whores knickers
In and out like a yo-yo
Hunt 'em up - get them.
As thick as two planks.
I will me arse

rainbowtrout · 14-12-2007 1:20pm

it's as long as it's broad

Solarball10 · 14-12-2007 1:25pm

"Jaysus"

SUNGOD · 16-12-2007 2:07am

i always liked "yes i would ,thank you for asking malcolm"

and that old chestnut "dont leave it there peter ,you might wrinkle the flange"

longshanks · 16-12-2007 2:51am

on waking up with a massive boner..... 'fetch me my loose trousers, i'll smuggle this into town'

dlofnep · 16-12-2007 1:31pm

She's a head like a bucket of dicks.

Capt'n Midnight · 16-12-2007 10:34pm

mumblers , referring to camel toe

"you can see the lips move but you can't make out what they are saying"

TirEoghain · 16-12-2007 11:44pm

'Pissing like a racehorse'

'He's that awkward and twisted that when he dies, they won't have to bury him, they can just screw him into the ground'

'Pissing in the wind'

'It's the dog's bollix' - I had great fun trying to explain this to my friend's German firlfriend.

'As odd as a bottle of chips'

'She could ate an apple though a letterbox'

TirEoghain · 16-12-2007 11:48pm

stcatherine wrote: »

"will ya do us a favour" - I must use this one a hundred times a day and it winds him up no end, no idea why !

I think anyone would find it very annoying being asked for a favour 100 times a day in all fairness..

Brendygg · 18-12-2007 2:10am

"She'd pike round bales!" in reference to large women.

ajbrowne · 18-12-2007 4:39pm

Talking to another bloke
I woulnd't even fu(k her with your di(k

She's got a face like a dropped pie

What are your funniest Irish sayings?

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