What are your funniest Irish sayings?

Mweelrea

you're like a fella lookin' for a forest but can't see with all the trees in the way


he's a mouth as wide as the grand canyon and twice as deep

TheEx

in this order:

Strung up by the balls on a rusty nail
Quit that codology
Grand set of delph on yer wan / yer man
I will in my swiss!

Lockstep

GUy-Is she good looking?
Guy in Gaelthuct-Shes riding the bus to averagestown.

Other guyWhat about her friend?
Guy in Gaelthuct-Shes running behind

Mweelrea

jeysus you're some numpty is a new one thats developed

the GALL

You three are a right pair
ya stupid eejit...(always like that one )never met a clever one
As full as a wheelie bin
a face like a bulldog chewin a wapse
and me favorite...if i had a bag of mickeys i still wouldn't give ya one
ya langer ya

themadchef

My personal favourites:

F**K me said the queen bee....and many died in the rush

Ride me sideways Grainne.....

How's yer belly for a lodger

Colder than a whores heart

Lockstep

Mweelrea wrote: »

jeysus you're some numpty is a new one thats developed

Me?

Best Irish one ever:

DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING!

the GALL

i kissed like a mule on an apple

and i went down on her like a rothweiller in a bowl of porridge

Lockstep

and i went down on her like a pikey sucking coins outta a drinks machine

Toots

she had a face like a bucket of smashed crabs

ask me left one!

get up ya boyo!

gowan ourra that!

I will in me hole

Sweating like a pregnant nun

ask me arse

feck that for a bag of chips

motherajaysus!

jaysus wept!

stall the ball

she'd suck a sheep's eye through a hedge of nettles

feckless rogue/arseagog/gobsheen

he/she'd talk the leg off a stool

he/she'd talk the hind leg off a donkey

ask the back of me sack

the arsehole of nowhere

ballygobackwards (somewhere rural)

rainbowtrout

phrases my mother has used - mainly directed at me


when I wasn't allowed go somewhere/do something:

if your friends jumped into the Shannon would you do the same?


total disbelief:

do i look like i came down in the last shower?


sick/hungover:

you look like **** on a slate



how i would like to describe some of my students!



thick as two short planks and not half as useful

the only culture you'll ever know is agriculture


I miss Limerick slang, haven't called anyone a gowl in ages.


another variaton on 'i'll break your face for ya' in this neck of the woods is 'I'll burst (bursht) ya!'

MrJoeSoap

rainbowtrout wrote: »

I miss Limerick slang, haven't called anyone a gowl in ages.

Thats been my favourite word for the past few months.

marcsignal

I will in me bollix

I will in me sh*te

Shut the jeasus door

You're like a hen in a temper (In Ill fitting Clothes/too small)

That's a load of me bollix

Feck Off

rainbowtrout

don't be blackguardin'

i'll throttle ya
as tight as tuppence
he's only a gurrier
he had a puss on him/he had a face on him that would stop a clock

and
you look like a streel...

i've never heard anyone except my mother say this ... and it wasn't complimentary

eroo

Even if I had a bag of bruised willies,I wouldn't give her one..

Lockstep

I wouldnt ride her into battle

Face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle

csk

"backarse of nowhere"

"nearly never shagged a cat"

after a moment of profound enlightenment: "I see says the blind man a hole in the wall" to which should be added "shut up says the deaf man you can't see at all."

"you wouldn't be well if you're sick"

"as useful as tits on a bowl"

"as tight as a fishes arse"

"transmogrified/stocious" for drunk

"you walked home with all grace of a pregnant elephant on ice"

Pj!

kickoutthejams wrote: »

I wouldnt ride her into battle

I like it!

themadchef

And least i forget this graceful Dublin err lady who punches her fist in the air whie dancing (alone!) in the middle of busy bar....


proclaiming........"up yer sister" repeatedly.

sooo not a country saying lol

EdgarAllenPoo

"Sure, a dog with a hammer up his arse could do that."

"Jaysus, you'd fit a bus in there."

dlambirl

Your as Awkward as a sow in reverse!

You have your sh*te

enda_4

That ones taller lyin down than she is standing up

I'm as sick as a small hospital

Ah ur bag!

dartsfan

Full as a boot

Fat as a butcher's dog

A story on top of a shtick (bullsh*t story)

Sweating like a rapist

SUNGOD

" go way ya hoors melt "

"lets not turn this rape into a murder "

Mweelrea

SUNGOD wrote: »

"lets not turn this rape into a murder "

who says that??????:D

SUNGOD

Mweelrea wrote: »

who says that??????:D

its been said believe me ............and hes behind you

hallelujah

mac1970 wrote: »

Fu(k me pink and call me toby

I lol'd. Probably cos I used to have a dog called toby.

colm_mcm

"I wouldn't get up on her to hang wallpaper" is one of my favourites.

enda_4

"Ach would ye staaap!"

rogue-entity

He's effin and blindin
As tight as a ducks arse - Tight
Yer like an idunnowat/Whater ya like ay?
The room looks like a bomb hit it
Ye'd argue with Christ
Ah for feck sake
Feck off.
Backarse of nowhere/Out in the sticks/Middle of the sticks
Up **** creak without a paddle.
Banjaxed/Bolloxed
Made a right haems of it/Made a right balls of it.
Not in a month of Sundays
Death warmed over - hungover
Up and down like a whores knickers
In and out like a yo-yo
Hunt 'em up - get them.
As thick as two planks.
I will me arse