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What are your funniest Irish sayings?



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,462 MaybeLogic

    DrumSteve wrote: »
    do you think i came up the liffey on a sponge?

    No way.
    The sponge would absorb too much water and you'd probably sink.
    I call shenanigans.

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,060 ✭✭✭ damagegt

    shell be up on your back like a sceartán.

  • Registered Users Posts: 901 EL_Loco

    "I'll do that now in a minute"

    Saying "yeah" as someone ends a sentence, realising you don't agree and say "no" = "yeahhhNo"

    "Arragh whisht"

    the word "het" e.g. "the baby got all het up and started crying"

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,134 Duddy

    "She was Wetter than a Sligo Road!" <--- She's in a state of sexual arousal.

    "S'craic?" <--- How are you?

    "MonTay****!" <---Hurry up!

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,224 Bolag_the_2nd

    com'ere to me now you gowel or u'll get a schlap of a stelletto

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  • Registered Users Posts: 359 ✭✭ Dutchie

    "I've a rod on me that'd beat badgers out of a ditch"

    "She'd get up on a cat going through a skylight"

    "She'd get up on the squeak of a wheelbarrow"

    "She'd get up on clipped hedge"

    "I'm that hungry i'd eat the bear arse of a christian brother through a bramble bush"

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,619 fontanalis

    You can't make honey out of dogs shyte.

  • Registered Users Posts: 10,445 ✭✭✭✭ DrumSteve

    MaybeLogic wrote: »
    No way.
    The sponge would absorb too much water and you'd probably sink.
    I call shenanigans.

    The logicity of the statement is definitely not implicit.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,693 ✭✭✭✭ OutlawPete

    I don't get it, is that an expression? Thanking you in advance for your explanation! :)

    Yes, tis a Dublin expression.

    If you were Breaking The Law for instance and got caught red handed, that would be Snared Rapid ;)

    Whole thread dedicated to her saying it here:

  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 87,203 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Capt'n Midnight

    An tSaoi wrote: »
    What does "Now we're sucking diesel" mean? It's been mentioned a few times.
    something to do with the maintenance of injectors on tractors

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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,803 El Siglo

    "She's got a face on her like a bulldog that's after lickin' piss off a nettle"
    "As thick as pig shite in a bottle"

  • Registered Users Posts: 142 ✭✭ RustyBeanTin

    That Guinness is after cuttin the hole off me

    jaysus your one is an awful tramp. Fair ****s to her

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,787 Miguel Flabby Sextant

    jeez thats awful cuntish........

  • Registered Users Posts: 142 ✭✭ RustyBeanTin

    You're an awful eeijet, d'ya know that

    My ma is some geebag

    Bollocks! The car is banjaxed

    Be right out. I'm just taking a ****e

    Alright, loosebit. Any chance of a ride

    Wha do ya mean do I love ya? aren't I riding ya!

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,957 Euro_Kraut

    "Not since Tuesday was a week!" in a very long time ago

    "I'm so hungry I'd eat the Lamb of God!" ... as in I am hungry presently.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 223 ✭✭ davef1000

    I'd ate the back door, buttered.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,674 ✭✭✭✭ Hagar

    Euro_Kraut wrote: »
    "I'm so hungry I'd eat the Lamb of God!"
    Another variant "I'd eat the leg off the Lamb of God".

  • Registered Users Posts: 196 ✭✭ Irish_wolf

    Probably been mentioned before but what the hay

    Fair f***s to ya
    variaton on snared rapid - Stung rapid
    sh**ting meself or sketched to bits (<-kildare one i think)
    Goin' through me like the luas through a bus
    Sweatin' like a blind fanny gobler in a fish shop, friend of mine said this yesterday nearly died laughin
    Ah he's for the birds so he is!
    Jaiz yer man's dead sound, try that one to a non-irish and you get some weird looks

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 126 ✭✭ copperfacegaz

    just used this one last nite then thought of this thread ..... ah you were " caught rapid " !

  • Registered Users Posts: 169 ✭✭ DonnieBrasco

    its too cold to snow.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,224 Bolag_the_2nd

    my mates american cousin thaught that "doin your nut" was masterbating! when i said that seanie was at home doin his nut (cos we didnt wait for him) she said. eugh way 2 much information, had to laugh,

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 640 Michaelrsh

    F*#~ me pink and call me pony!

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,492 Thomas828

    "He couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo!" - he's totally incompetent. "He'd eat the legs off the table." - enormous appetite.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,492 Thomas828

    Two from Belfast: You want a dig in the head, fella?" - self explanatory. "Come on, have ye a fair dig now!" - let's fight! ('now' rhymes with 'fly')

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,137 ✭✭✭✭ admiralofthefleet

    69 wrote: »
    Another variant "I'd eat the leg off the Lamb of God".

    and another two:

    i'd eat a cows arse through a hedge

    i'd eat a nuns arse through a keyhole

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 699 gent9662

    roughan wrote: »
    Heard a classic over the weekend on a mate describing a one night stand....

    " I left her face like a painters radio" !


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 699 gent9662

    Go ugly and avoid the rush.

    You don't look at the mantle piece when you're stoking the fire.

    Face like the back end of me bollix!

    Sweatin like a rapist

  • Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭ Mister-M5

    A girl you don't fancy:
    "I wouldn't ride her into battle"
    "The tide wouldn't take her out"

    If I had only done such a thing:
    "Sure if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle"

    Being drunk last night:
    "Lads I was never in America but I was in some state last night"

    Describing someone that's bad a soccer, football, rugy etc:
    "He wouldn't get a kick in a horsebox"
    "He wouldn't get a kick in a Jackie Chan film"
    "He wouldn't get a kick in a stampede"

  • Registered Users Posts: 10,445 ✭✭✭✭ DrumSteve

    69 wrote: »
    Yes, yes, yes.

    **** i din't realise that posted 3 times :o

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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 462 ✭✭ SlabMurphy

    " The older the fiddle the sweeter the tune " - ( said by a middle aged man when talking about if he'd be up to it with a younger chick )

    " As rear as hen's teeth " When something is hard to get like tickets for an All Ireland final.