What are your funniest Irish sayings?

Sam Vimes · 25-09-2007 6:04pm

Trojan911 wrote:

She could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

i don't think thats irish because its in full metal jacket

Dun laoire · 25-09-2007 6:25pm

You're bleedin wreckin me tits man

neuro-praxis · 25-09-2007 7:54pm

I just remembered a favourite of my Dad's - "He was tighter than a camel's arse in a sandstorm."

And my mum - I've only heard her say it in extreme circumstances (for example, tripping over the hoover) - "Fu*k me Aunt Fanny!"

_blank_ · 25-09-2007 8:03pm

neuro-praxis wrote:

I just remembered a favourite of my Dad's - "He was tighter than a camel's arse in a sandstorm."

Tighter than a nun's cúnt on Sunday.

ThE_IVIAcIVIAIV · 25-09-2007 8:19pm

''yera tis i suppose''

or yera on its own, it can be used for practicaly anything, how old are you? yera you know yourself...
are you going out tonight? yera you know yourself
do you have aids? yera you know yourself hai!
kerry people are funny

whatshername!! · 25-09-2007 8:42pm

Some tipperary sayings that no one seems to understand.

Well - Hi
Hows she cuttin? - how are you?
Any sca? - Any news?

Hagar · 25-09-2007 8:52pm

How are they hanging?

redtom · 25-09-2007 9:12pm

One from Donegal - "He's wile funny!" (He's very funny) -

Hagar · 25-09-2007 9:27pm

From Belfast - "He's wired to the moon" ie stone mad.

Captain Chaos · 25-09-2007 9:35pm

Ones my Dad says.

I was standing there like a slice of sh1te.

A face like the back of a bus.

Your some man for one man.

As daft as a brush.

Hows she cuttin.

Did you see the hoop on her.

Ya made a right balls of that.

_blank_ · 25-09-2007 10:08pm

whatshername!! wrote:

Any sca? - Any news?

Ah, I know this one.

More like schka though.

A real Irish thing is saying 'yer man'.

You know

'Who gave you that money'
'Ah, yer man, Farelly'
'That gowlbag, he's only a langball'

'Who's giving you a lift this evening?'
'Yer man, Joe'
'Yeah, he's a decent skin'

I said 'yer man' in this type of context to an Australian bloke one time, he thought I was commenting on his sexuality.

watna · 25-09-2007 10:19pm

Things I've been told are funny by foridners is:

yer man
that yoke (outside Ireland this makes no sense)
and come here to me for when you want to tell someone something. My other half used to say I'm still in the room I haven't gone anywhere, what are you talking about!

Apparently, and I had to ask numerous people to make sure this is true the phrase "giving out" is not used outside Ireland.(I asked kiwis and aussies, they'd never heard of it before they came here) Madness!

Trojan911 · 25-09-2007 10:24pm

Commander Vimes wrote:

i don't think thats irish because its in full metal jacket

The actor was Irish/American, he had to be, most Americans claim to be Irish.....

TJ911...

lezizi · 25-09-2007 10:24pm

Americans always find the phrase ' Im goin smokin a fag' funny. My friend said it in work in America and they were like ' your going shooting queers??'

whatshername!! · 25-09-2007 11:06pm

lezizi wrote:

Americans always find the phrase ' Im goin smokin a fag' funny. My friend said it in work in America and they were like ' your going shooting queers??'

LOL
Another one is
Im goin to see a man about a dog - when someon asks you where your goin in other words mind your own fu(kin business where im goin

_blank_ · 25-09-2007 11:08pm

lezizi wrote:

Americans always find the phrase ' Im goin smokin a fag' funny. My friend said it in work in America and they were like ' your going shooting queers??'

Can I bum a fag?

Another one.

'Doing the messages' for going to the shops.

Ruu_Old · 25-09-2007 11:12pm

What qualities can you bring to our company?
I can bring sweet fuck all.

I only wish I had the guts to say it in that context!

byte · 25-09-2007 11:22pm

Nearly never bulled a cow.

Fcuk me pink and call me Rosy

And maybe the word "Aaarraah"

ie. Aaarraah for the love of Jesus
or Aaarah fer fcuk's sake

Dyr · 25-09-2007 11:28pm

DesF wrote:

Can I bum a fag?

Another one.

'Doing the messages' for going to the shops.

that reminds me..."slip"

as in the classic irish parent saying of of "slip down to the shops for us"

PlayGirl · 25-09-2007 11:58pm

you'l be some pup when yer tail grows

Mexicola · 26-09-2007 8:33am

"a good kick up the brown star"

Pat the Baker · 26-09-2007 9:37am

"Me mouth is as dry as a nuns fanny" For when your thirsty
"He is solid bone from the neck up" For someone who is a bit thick
"Mad as a brush with no bristles" For someone that is mad

there are loads i just do not understand so never remeber them

nice1franko · 26-09-2007 9:51am

"He's about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike"

djsctt · 26-09-2007 10:29am

"Jesus suffering f**k ! "

also,

"banjaxed"

cjt156 · 26-09-2007 10:38am

Conference call to head office in the States once;

Irish chap refers to someone not at the meeting as 'yer man, John'

Muffled response from the other end;

'...he's not MY man....'

Much shaking of Irish heads; fugging yanks...

Dyr · 26-09-2007 10:53am

and lets not forget yer mans close cousins: "himself" (or "herself") and "his nibs"

fits · 26-09-2007 11:01am

Will you wet the tea?

Agamemnon · 26-09-2007 11:02am

Bambi wrote:

and lets not forget yer mans close cousins: "himself" (or "herself") and "his nibs"

And "yer wan".

"The lord to mercy on him"

"Thanks bit of God"

Ishmael · 26-09-2007 11:12am

For people who are lucky

"If he/she/it fell in a barrel of ****e, they'd come out tasting like chocolate"

Oh and

Pebcac

philstar · 26-09-2007 1:29pm

what does the term a "gowl" actually mean??

Dyr · 26-09-2007 1:36pm

diabolical and brutal are another two that confuse de fordiners

as in "dats bleedin diabolical that is"

Siogfinsceal · 26-09-2007 2:39pm

'whatyamaycallit'

In answer to 'whats that?' - 'oh thats a yoke for a thing'

When asked if you have seen something thats missing : 'Is my face red? well, its not up my arse then'

'He's a piebald'

'whose takin the horse to France'?

_blank_ · 26-09-2007 2:53pm

philstar wrote:

what does the term a "gowl" actually mean??

It means a woman's ladygarden and inner parts..

But it's a bit more crude than that.

_blank_ · 26-09-2007 2:54pm

agamemnon wrote:

"Thanks bit of God"

Is that not "Thanks be to god"?

redtom · 26-09-2007 4:22pm

Yeah, its "Thanks be to god"

Another one - "Jeeny mac!" (exclamation of astonishment)

Another - "He'd annoy the hind leg off a donkey"

_blank_ · 26-09-2007 4:32pm

redtom wrote:

"Jeeny mac!" (exclamation of astonishment)

That would be Janey Mac.

From this rhyme.

Janey Mac, me shirt is black
What'll I do for Sunday
Get into bed, cover your head
and don't get up til Monday

Apparently, this Janey was a prostitute in Dublin.

As well as Jeeney as you have posted, there is also Jaypers!

All, of course, euphemisms for Jesus, or Jaysis.

I love saying Jaysis.

Kazooie · 26-09-2007 4:53pm

"That'll soften his cough". (take him down a peg or two)
"Tis meltin for rain".

Agamemnon · 26-09-2007 5:02pm

DesF wrote:

Is that not "Thanks be to god"?

Yep, but I often hear older people pronouncing it as "Thanks bit of God", as well as pronouncing "The Lord have mercy on him" as "The Lord to mercy on him".

Americans must get really confused listening to Irish people: on a night out, we might meet a cute hoor, smoke a fag and have some craic. Makes us sound like rappers.

stcatherine · 26-09-2007 5:08pm

Just thought of a few more things I say that my English Husband finds annoying -

"Did ya plug out the TV" - I know I'm not the only person who says 'plug out' instead of 'unplug'

"will ya do us a favour" - I must use this one a hundred times a day and it winds him up no end, no idea why !

"ye may ...... (apply as needed) ...eg ..."Ye may turn off the TV before ya leave " - this one in particular riles a fair few english people cos they seem to think when we say 'ye may' we mean "you have my permission", when in fact it means "might I suggest that you ..... " - that's my understanding anyway !

a saying thats not Irish but I dicovered the meaning of a few years back is the origin of the saying "sweet FA", meaning Sweet Fanny Adams.
She was a little girl who was abducted and cut up into little pieces, and the saying came about because of tinned meat rations and how nasty they were.

Ciaran B · 26-09-2007 5:11pm

Gee Bag and Get up The Yard are 2 classics.

growler · 26-09-2007 5:37pm

now you're sucking diesel

hairyfairy00 · 26-09-2007 6:23pm

' I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire'

'Hold on a minute, i'll be there in a second' Even this one made no sense to me growing up but i still use it

admiralofthefleet · 26-09-2007 6:26pm

for someone unlucky:

if he fell into a barrel of tits he'd come out sucking his thumb

for someone tightfisted:

if he was a ghost he would'nt give you a fright

eddiehobbs · 26-09-2007 6:54pm

dont think these were mentioned

tearin away like the tinkers shirt

out the gap (going home)

sick as a flight to lourdes

sick as a paedophile in a playground

sick as a busload of paedophiles

happy out

tits on a bull (meaning useless)

philstar · 26-09-2007 7:49pm

what does the term a "gowl" actually mean??

DesF wrote:

It means a woman's ladygarden and inner parts..

But it's a bit more crude than that.

but why is it directed at sad people??

lezizi · 26-09-2007 8:01pm

philstar wrote:

what does the term a "gowl" actually mean??

but why is it directed at sad people??

It is usually used in the same context as 'You C*nt'

Deliverance · 26-09-2007 8:27pm

Irish farmer giving directions to a tourist:
"Ya see that road up there on the right, you don't want to take that one".

keltoms · 26-09-2007 9:07pm

"she had a f**** like a badly packed kebab"

"shes a face like a bag of hammers"

keltoms · 26-09-2007 9:15pm

oh and favourite saying has to be:

"cudnt hit a cows arse with a banjo!"

ha!

walrusgumble · 26-09-2007 10:16pm

couldn't score in a whore house, even if their hands were tied

couldn't manage a p&ss up in a brewery

if he had brains he would be dangerous

(in rudely stopping someone always asking "what if....") ah if my aunt had balls she would be my uncle

she/he is so ugly, that when she/he was born the doctor had to slap their mother.

genie mac

she was so fat the light bulb burned my arse (when getting down and dirty with a big girl)

when she bent down we saw the moon (again referring to a big girl)

if you fall off that wall dont come running to me (mothers sayings)

What are your funniest Irish sayings?

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